i am so normal about cortana (lies)

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i am so normal about cortana (lies)
I dont want to beat a dead horse, and I can't imagine I'm thr first person to harp on this. I propose an alternate view on why Cortana suddenly has clothes.
The presence or absence of garments does not automatically imply anything about a body at all, in my opinion. Just bc shes suddenly wearing clothes in Halo 5 does not imply she was 'naked' earlier, or that she now has features to hide.
Garments have many purposes, not just to hide a body. There are 2 other reasons: to shield the wearer from the environment, and to communicate something about the wearer. As Cortana's form is not physical and cannot interact with physical environments as we understand it, that is unlikely to be the cause for her to suddenly be wearing clothes.
Instead, I think its likely she's trying to communicate something about herself. We can identify firefighters by their uniform- clothes communicate something about the internal. I'm willing to bet she wanted to change something about her outward appearance to signal an internal change. She chose a very specific garment for a very specific reason.
Her new clothes are harsh and unyielding. Other than some interesting geometric patterns, there's very little decoration on her suit. It's functional. Thats it. She's signaling that she's here to get work done and that she's not to be trifled to with.
Sure, IRL, the developers might have suddenly wanted to cover her to get the T rating. However lore wise, I think it's a very reasonable change.
I like this take because it lines up with something silly I like to think about Cortana lol (or I guess it would be a headcanon): I like to imagine that during the events of 4, her hair had grown out a bit longer and looked really messy (but still short enough to be a bob) since y'know being stuck adrift on a broken ship for 4 years will do that. But then when 5 was happening, she "cut" it to be really short and blunt looking, and straightened it; because the new self proclaimed supreme ruler of everything has to look orderly and serious, right? (iirc in official media it did actually look straighter and less messy in h5)
something like this ig
this is how people who want absurdly short maternity leave think birth works
(mostly a joke)
crappy sketch of cortana i did the other day
john-117: cortana, can i ask you a question?
cortana: sure, chief. what is it?
john-117: if you were to say “control alt delete” would you just die??
cortana:
cortana: everyday i try to convince myself humans are intelligent creatures and everyday i’m proven wrong
Three AM thought here, but you know how in America as kids in school you used to write to soldiers at war? Does the UNSC have children write to their soldiers? And do specific classrooms get to write to Spartans? How unhinged does it get?
Like Emile opening his 80th 'tank you for killing the covenant'
John opening one that says "have a good war" and the letter spills glitter everywhere
Fred getting one that says "dear spartan, thank you for dying for humanity, but I really like humanity so I'm glad you're dead"
Carter getting one that says "I'm sad you died when your planet was glassed" and it's a drawing of a covenant ship glassing some planet.
Kelly opens one that says "I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, that's what my dad says what happens when you become a Spartan"
All of these were inspired by pat loller on tik tok, and I desperately need my moots to add their own experiences of writing these letters. I was going to make one that was all happy and have a pop up thing where you accordion the paper and stick it on each side of the card so a butterfly and flower pop up when you open it but my classmate stopped me because it would scare the soldiers because they have PTSD. If only child me understood the mash episodes my mom was watching I could've given them some mash quotes.
ACKERSON BROTHEL TIME
Again rereading the fall of reach! Ackerson spent sometime at brothel! AND CORTANA FUCKING SENT A BROTHEL RECEIPT TO ACKERSON’S WIFE!!!! Amazing fucking amazing
Here to defend my man Ackerson.
He did not spend any time at a brothel, but Cortana was being a petty little gremlin so she generated a false receipt and sent it to his wife.
Ok I could have read this wrong but I swear she found a receipt and sent it to his wife. Let me whip out the fall of reach in a bit
As much as I dislike Ackerson, it was Cortana who masqueraded as him when transferring the wired fund to get back at him for trying to make the MJOLNIR shield test fail.
lol I was wrong! @empresskadia and @ionlymadethissoicouldleaveanask were right
Do It Right
The old school lack of transparency on tumblr is amazing because you assume the people you follow must all be equivalent to you and then you see someone write “I brought my youngest to college today” and someone else write “my mom wouldn’t let me listen to Ariana Grande when I was a kid” and then your head explodes
not on tumblr but i just remembered how one of the people in an online class i took when i was younger was a twentysomething college student, and then you had me and my friend who were FIFTEEN
leeroy mateo's mom @ all of jax's friends in the circus
as long as the cutscene where cortana accidentally teleports chief upside down is good, the original campaign will be perfect to me 👍
EDIT:
oh thank god
wishing every worker who was on campaign evolved an incredibly peaceful nap that lasts for at least a week solid
on my way to offend both of my cultures by eating some processed bread with chopsticks
i drew this a year ago and kept forgetting to post oops
the halo story is a goddamn disaster, but a very fun disaster
what's the deal with the eridani systems guys
commentary on the plane seat meme for fun
Also just in case anyone needs identifiers: ROW 1: Kojo "Romeo" Agu | empty seat | aisle | Severan | Sloan | empty seat ROW 2: Mickey Crespo | Edward Buck| aisle | Atriox | empty seat | Captain Cutter ROW 3: empty seat | Ilsa Zane | aisle | empty seat | Joyeuse | Fernando Esparza ROW 4: Captain Lasky | Commander Palmer | aisle | Jameson Locke | Jega 'Rdomnai | empty seat ROW 5: Catherine Halsey | empty seat | aisle | Roland | empty seat | Jared Miller
just remembered those commercials with cutter and atriox XD might change my answer to 5 now lol