idk lol

[whattheactualhay]

crappy sketch of cortana i did the other day

[gamelpar]

john-117: cortana, can i ask you a question?

cortana: sure, chief. what is it?

john-117: if you were to say “control alt delete” would you just die??

cortana:

cortana: everyday i try to convince myself humans are intelligent creatures and everyday i’m proven wrong

[whotookmytomato]

Three AM thought here, but you know how in America as kids in school you used to write to soldiers at war? Does the UNSC have children write to their soldiers? And do specific classrooms get to write to Spartans? How unhinged does it get?

Like Emile opening his 80th 'tank you for killing the covenant'

John opening one that says "have a good war" and the letter spills glitter everywhere

Fred getting one that says "dear spartan, thank you for dying for humanity, but I really like humanity so I'm glad you're dead"

Carter getting one that says "I'm sad you died when your planet was glassed" and it's a drawing of a covenant ship glassing some planet.

Kelly opens one that says "I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, that's what my dad says what happens when you become a Spartan"

All of these were inspired by pat loller on tik tok, and I desperately need my moots to add their own experiences of writing these letters. I was going to make one that was all happy and have a pop up thing where you accordion the paper and stick it on each side of the card so a butterfly and flower pop up when you open it but my classmate stopped me because it would scare the soldiers because they have PTSD. If only child me understood the mash episodes my mom was watching I could've given them some mash quotes.

[caffeineyum]

ACKERSON BROTHEL TIME

Again rereading the fall of reach! Ackerson spent sometime at brothel! AND CORTANA FUCKING SENT A BROTHEL RECEIPT TO ACKERSON’S WIFE!!!! Amazing fucking amazing

[ionlymadethissoicouldleaveanask]

Here to defend my man Ackerson.

He did not spend any time at a brothel, but Cortana was being a petty little gremlin so she generated a false receipt and sent it to his wife.

[caffeineyum]

Ok I could have read this wrong but I swear she found a receipt and sent it to his wife. Let me whip out the fall of reach in a bit

[empresskadia]

As much as I dislike Ackerson, it was Cortana who masqueraded as him when transferring the wired fund to get back at him for trying to make the MJOLNIR shield test fail.

[caffeineyum]

lol I was wrong! @empresskadia and @ionlymadethissoicouldleaveanask were right

[gamelpar]

Do It Right

[beggars-opera]

The old school lack of transparency on tumblr is amazing because you assume the people you follow must all be equivalent to you and then you see someone write “I brought my youngest to college today” and someone else write “my mom wouldn’t let me listen to Ariana Grande when I was a kid” and then your head explodes

[whattheactualhay]

not on tumblr but i just remembered how one of the people in an online class i took when i was younger was a twentysomething college student, and then you had me and my friend who were FIFTEEN

[whattheactualhay]

leeroy mateo's mom @ all of jax's friends in the circus

[bloodgulchblog]

as long as the cutscene where cortana accidentally teleports chief upside down is good, the original campaign will be perfect to me 👍

EDIT:

oh thank god

[bloodgulchblog]

wishing every worker who was on campaign evolved an incredibly peaceful nap that lasts for at least a week solid

[whattheactualhay]

on my way to offend both of my cultures by eating some processed bread with chopsticks

[whattheactualhay]

i drew this a year ago and kept forgetting to post oops

[whattheactualhay]

the halo story is a goddamn disaster, but a very fun disaster

[ozzyfromscotland]

what's the deal with the eridani systems guys

[bloodgulchblog]

commentary on the plane seat meme for fun

Also just in case anyone needs identifiers: ROW 1: Kojo "Romeo" Agu | empty seat | aisle | Severan | Sloan | empty seat ROW 2: Mickey Crespo | Edward Buck| aisle | Atriox | empty seat | Captain Cutter ROW 3: empty seat | Ilsa Zane | aisle | empty seat | Joyeuse | Fernando Esparza ROW 4: Captain Lasky | Commander Palmer | aisle | Jameson Locke | Jega 'Rdomnai | empty seat ROW 5: Catherine Halsey | empty seat | aisle | Roland | empty seat | Jared Miller

[whattheactualhay]

just remembered those commercials with cutter and atriox XD might change my answer to 5 now lol

[whattheactualhay]

cortana doing the Youtuber Apology

[luulapants]

In 4th grade, my bff was in a death feud over chess with a boy in our class but instead of competing like normal people they decided that the best way to determine who was chess master was for each of them to select one of the two biggest idiots in class and teach them to play chess, My Fair Lady style, and see whose idiot won. We are just now, 22 years later, grappling with the moral implications of this exercise.

[whattheactualhay]

crack theory: n25 miku's hair was originally teal but all of it turned white instantly after witnessing the emotions of mafuyu's SEKAI