What the crispy chicken is this?

Eh- hi! I DON'T KNOW YOU AND YOU DON'T KNOW ME NOW WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY!

[sailorbrazil]

this is me, if i was a cat

[bethboxin]

Ron just got his howler from his mom yelling at him for stealing the car. He seems super embarrassed and most of the Great Hall is laughing. But here’s the thing:

Ron is 12 years old.

Ron stole a car.

Ron fucking stole a fucking car at the age of TWELVE.

I would not be laughing at him. Ronald Weasley is a fucking bad ass. When was the last time you jacked a car Malfoy? That’s what I thought. Bitch.

[dinosaurrainbowstarfish]

Harry woke up at 3 am, wrote this, and went back to sleep.

[lytefoot]

New best reply.

[dexfiles]

sun: 🌞 me: shut the fuck

[yermemeblog]

[septemberequinox]

sometimes i wonder why i chose a druid in d&d then realize i wear hippie thrifted clothes and walk around work with bees crawling around on my hand because i want to make sure they make it outside

[septemberequinox]

this was today’s bee and i named her lady.

[septemberequinox]

so i’ve been informed i’ve actually charmed a hornet.

that feel when you roll a crit fail in perception but a nat 20 in animal handling

[cipheramnesia]

this is too much power for any one person

[prokopetz]

Little-known downsides of immortality:

Tearing your favourite article of clothing and discovering that it’s irreplaceable because the technique of its manufacture has been lost

Realising you’ve thought of the perfect comeback to someone who’s been dead for three hundred years

Not being able to eat your favourite dish anymore because the source of some critical ingredient has gone extinct

Having strong opinions about sports that are no longer played

Getting a song from the 13th Century stuck in your head and being unable to get it out because you don’t remember how it ends and you’re the only person on Earth who knows it

Having that perfect pun you’ve been waiting forever for a chance to use stop working due to linguistic drift

[classicartmeme]

[mesopelagic]

holy shit i have the best idea

[mesopelagic]

my line of logic was “well if i put the sponge in the blender, when i turn it on the sponge will spin around and scrub the blender for me so i dont have to spend ages cleaning it”

[mesopelagic]

thats not what happened though :•(

[solarpunk-aesthetic]

Garden claws! Very useful both for digging and for Black Panther impressions!

[ubercharge]

someone please post the gif

[2fort]

[tastefullyoffensive]

Close enough.

[morganiser-deactivated20240512]

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

childhood is asking your parents to go to mcdonalds but they say no because “we got food at the house”

adulthood is going to mcdonalds despite having food at the house, but not getting a drink at mcdonalds because you got drinks at the house 

[kyrieanne]

I relate to this post on a visceral level. 

[catchymemes]

[kemonozume]

[cheppo]

my faves……..from my twitter, which holds an incredible amount of nonsense with more nonsense added daily

[catchymemes]

Heat index was 110 degrees so we offered him a cold drink. He went for a full body soak instead

[invader-bean]

he accepted ur cold drink!!

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

game developer: this game is multiplayer ONLY, we want you to play this game ONLY WITH YOUR FRIENDS

me, no friends mcFuck: great

[devillikeme]

my one friend: doesn’t like the game

My other friend: Doesn’t wanna spend 60 bucks on that game

And another friend: Doesn’t have the time to play the game

[midnightminx90]

Me: Plays on PC

Friend: Plays on playstation

Other friend: Plays on xbox

Another friend: Doesn’t game

[kadenzys-gone]

Me: has someone to play multiplayer games with

Person I can play multiplayer games with: lives with me

Games: no no GO BUy A SECOND CONSOLE