ally

|21|Washingtonian|

[whatthefucklyss]

Red

I got so lucky with you. I’m so glad I was able to adopt you. You’re my best friend.

Yes you know how to push my buttons like no other. But I probably do the same right back (actually I know I do).

Our life is about to change drastically but I will ALWAYS be there by your side like you are mine

[optimusveddieprime]

HOLY FUCCCCHHSHKKKKKHSHSIIIIIHSBNHSBGGGGG SHIT!!!! THEY DOIN IT!!! THEY OUT HERE!!!!

[cisnowflake]

[fren-in-jesus]

PEOPLE SHOWED UP?

[bakugou]

Talk all the shit about millenials you want, but you have to admire the fucking commitment

[robloxgf-deactivated20190515]

how dare u reblog my posts but not follow me

[goodnightnautilus-deactivated20]

If you find a gold bar in a trash bag, will you take the whole trash can, or just the gold bar?

[robloxgf-deactivated20190515]

the fuck

[heimwehr-deactivated20190625]

cold af

[firstdegreeliberty]

*writes down time of death*

[leftboob-enthusiast]

(to the tune of The Final Countdown) it’s a mental breakdown

[thesilencedmasses]

*off-key kazoo*

[alexander]

After vine died we are reduced to text form vines

[ohhellorula]

Bill Hader’s knife story is the funniest thing ever

[psychictantrums]

I’ve seen this 5,000 times and I still laugh every single time. This and his Dateline impressions are the funniest thing that has ever happened in the history of the world.

[glumshoe]

any group of children between ages 7 and 14 will, if left unattended for over 40 seconds, begin to form weird cults

[glumshoe]

seriously you go into another room to get a band-aid and you come back to find a quartet of ten year-olds prostrating themselves around a dirty baby sock they found on the floor and chanting “speak to us, master” and that’s just life

[obsessionsofabooklover-deactiva]

I am a teacher and my students formed an unhealthy obsession with a can of unopened sprite I had on my shelf. They called it their god. One day I found them holding rulers in the form of a cross singing Kumbaya, so I hid the Sprite as it was becoming a distraction. So the students made a change.org petition to find it.

[valtsv]

given that it's possible to defeat him by just relentlessly bullying the shit out of him until he's too small to be a threat, there's absolutely no way pennywise would survive in this day and age. the existence of fast, accessible internet and social media would end that clown's entire career.

[valtsv]

pennywise tries to attack a group of gen z kids but they all just film him on their phones and post the goofiest moments as a "pennywise cringe comp" on tiktok and it gets millions of views and comments within hours of publishing. the evil is defeated.

[valtsv]

someone writes a callout and uploads it to youtube and #PennywiseIsCancelled and #PennywiseIsOverParty immediately start trending on twitter

[valtsv]

pennywise: *logs in*

every gen z kid and millennial online: oh shit u guys penny wide is online!!! GET HIS ASS!!!

pennywise:

[valtsv]

pennywise: please ma'am spare some fear??? one crumb of terror ma'am??? p please i;m. starving,,,

gen z:

[durbikins]

weird plant people of tumblr: ☼ Pwease don’t kill the wittle insects~~~~ ♥

me to the bug that’s been divebombing me for the past 15 minutes:

[deadseass]

[octoswan]

[cobaltdays-deactivated20210208]

I love going to Olive Garden to get bred

[cobaltdays-deactivated20210208]

[unpatchedglitch]

getting absolutely rawed at the olive garden

[ewaneneollav]

[cremia-deactivated20210626]

yo why jon thick as hell

[flipflapjacks]

We aint gonna talk about the stroke I just had reading this?

[dwight-schrutes]

[whatthefucklyss]

my jindo

[whatthefucklyss]

[rexuality]

if you see me laughing while texting there’s a 99.9% chance i’m laughing at a text message i sent because i’m equal parts vain and hilarious

[whatthefucklyss]

Wow... it’s been two years not on Tumblr 😂 back in the day I was on it 24/7

[jaredlovesmusic]

Visit Original Link

This is my absolute favorite cover of a song ever

[queeranne]