i ♡ - karen wheeler, cara buono, pink, cotton candy, unicorns, kittens, glitter, makeup, vintage fashion, raspberries, stranger things, american horror story, pink milkshakes, old hollywood, my little pony, lps, sanrio, the 50s-80s
🎶 - lana del rey, ariana grande, sabrina carpenter, chappell roan, abba, fleetwood mac, mazzy star,
DNIS !! 🤍
-homophobes, racists, sexists, trump supporters, and anything else like that
-karen wheeler selfshippers/yumeshippers/doubles
-mischaracterizing karen or saying anything negative about her or cara
f / o who gently fixes your posture when you are slouching , their cold hands sliding up your back to guide your shoulders back.
but . . . instead of pulling away after correcting you , they just leave their hands there , leaning down to press a soft kiss to the nape of your neck.
i just wanna be hugged by mommy so bad... i want her to tell me that everything will be okay. and that little girls shouldn't have to stress about anything when mommy will do alll the thinking for her...
she'd wipe my tears away and replace them with soft kisses,, we'd get under the covers warm and cozy, while i slowly fall asleep in her arms.. whispering one last time,
Women in their 30s and 40s are extremely hot and I’m tired of us as a society pretending that a woman’s beauty diminishes the second she is no longer in her 20s. A mature face, body, voice, and personality are all incredibly attractive qualities to possess.
On a totally unrelated note, I have bad mommy issues and love women, older ladies hmu.
Lowkey the character who got the saddest ending is Karen Wheeler.
1. Even Jonathan and Nancy gave looks to each other during the older kids’ reunion.
2. Even Mike and Will looked like they’re in love and there’s a door open for them to get together at some point.
3. Even EL, who died, was given the slightest amount of cope that she might be alive and having a happy life somewhere.
But poor Karen started out as a housewife trapped in a loveless marriage and, after everything she went through, ended the show the exact same way, with no reprieve in sight. She doesn’t get to experience love, freedom, economic independence or anything. She just gets to accept her lot in life and wither in the same house as Ted.
addictions aren't easy to get over, but they're definitely easy with your f/o.
you've been sober for a week? that calls for celebration! every milestone deserves celebration.
you relapsed? its okay, they'll comfort you while you cry. progress won't always be linear, and even though it sucks, they'll do everything they can to help you feel better.
you're thinking about it? well, they'll do anything to distract you. whether it be making you talk about your favourite thing, or having them talk about their favourite thing while you listen.
there's no judgement here. you're struggling -- they can see that. they're proud of you for continuing anyways.
karen wheeler 😍😍😍 meeting up with her at a hotel and showing her that you can treat her better than that fuck ass husband of hers.
💘 | fuckin’ loser. - karen wheeler x gn!r
summary: karen calls late at night </3 reader gets like a little scared idk.
warnings: smut obvi, fingering, yea all that good stuff. reader is 20+, comfy age gap. dni if you’re a minor. karen's 38.
a/n : back at it guys yaaay!!!! i missed doing this ngl. for my best fran ever @returnofeternity forgive me it’s short it's been way too long. fyi this like barely gets smutty im ngl i don't like writing it... this ficliterally js implies it
w/c: 928
the phone rings, more than it should at night and you pick up groggily mustering out a “hello.”
“hi, sweetheart. it’s me.”
a familiar voice comes through the line and you sit up, trying to stay up best you can. “hi, mrs. wheeler.” you sigh and close your eyes, listening to her mumbles over the phone. “what’s new?” you ask and let out yawn, the phone slipping slowly from out your fingers.
“oh, you know. ted being himself again. same old same old.”
mr. wheeler wasn’t there half of the time. he was always just lazing on the couch whenever you came over to hangout with nancy. and even she’d shit talk him too. it was always something with him, and the longer it went on, the more karen started to hate him. “why’d you call?”
“mommy misses you…”
karen’s words make a knot form in your stomach, and you breathe out deeply into the phone.
“and i’m dying to see you again, baby. how about you come see me in 10 minutes at the motel near the mall?”
her voice is that sickly sweet one that just pulls you in all the time without fail, and you don’t know how to feel about it. she always uses it when she wants something from you. “err... i- i could come. just give me a minute.”
you stand nervously at the door, knocking hesitantly before it opens quicker than you could’ve ever imagined it to, and you get pulled into a kiss. “someone’s eager.” you stammer out, face flush and voice raspy from sleep. “it’s late isn’t it?”
“so?” karen whispers, fingers tugging at your hoodie softly. “ted’s being boring again, y’know? like always. refused to eat my dinner too tonight.” she says roughly and pushes you up against the wall, her other hand running through your hair. “so, pretty.”
“oh, don’t flatter me.” you laugh and tilt your head backwards just a bit, her fingers inching up towards the base of your neck, then your face. her lips find that sweet spot underneath your jawline and you let out a small groan. “i’m not flattering you, i’m just telling you the truth. i love telling my baby that they’re so pretty, so sweet, so much better than my incredibly lazy husband.”
karen huffs out that last part, her fingers tightening in your hair and her hands sneaking up the hem of your hoodie. “mhm. yeah, i agree.” you mumble and feel her grip at your wrist, tugging you towards the couch. “take this off, would you?”
you do as she says, your hands coming under to pull your hoodie off your head. “beautiful. just like always.” her breath ghosts against your shoulder and she sits down next to you, holding your body close before her lips meet yours once more.
it’s a kiss sweeter than it usually is. most of the time she’s rough with you, and it catches you off guard, but this? this is better than anything you’ve ever experienced. her hand rests on your chest and she guides your own with her other, bringing it down to the end of her dress.
“you can touch me, it’s okay.” she says, pulling away for a second till she kisses you again.
your hands trail up her thighs and you press the tips of your fingers against the damp spot in her panties. karen moans into the kiss, her head turning down and her eyes fluttering shut. “i love you.” you breathe out, not really sure why you said that, but fuck did it felt natural.
maybe it’s the fog in your brain or the lack of sleep that makes you say these things you would never think about out loud. or maybe it’s true, what you’re saying. even if you yourself can’t believe it. can’t believe that you’re doing something so wrong. so inappropriate, but it's so so so right at the same time.
“how about you show me how much better you are than ted is, yeah?” she pants and pulls you close to make you hover over her. before you get a chance to respond her mouth is on yours and she shoves your hand in between her legs.
she throws her head backwards and separates the two of you for a moment. "this feels wrong." you breathe out and shake your head, karen's hand coming up to cup your face and her eyes giving you that look you know all too well.
"but you still came."
"i know, but-"
"cat got your tongue? i know you love me, baby. you're too easy." she hums out. you look at everything but her when she spits that out "yes."
"good, you know what to do." karen mumbles and presses her lips onto the base of your neck, your hands hesitantly finding their way into her panties.
her breath is hot and heavy on your skin and she's gripping at the fabric of your shirt, trying to find some sort of ground when your fingers press against her. her teeth sink into your neck, her fingers gripping harder than they ever have as you work your way into her.
"fuck..." she breathes out, low and grumbles something incoherently against your neck. "you're so good, sweetie." her words make you dig in her a little deeper, and she looks up at you, her mouth parted.
you know she's at a loss for words, you know you're doing this better than ted ever could, and the fact that she's so vocal about it makes you feel so good.
❁ beside her bed, she has a general electric night light from the pet parade series ^
❁ the 1980s pillow people jill college plushie in on the floor beside her bed, next to the night light ^
❁ she has a purple hawaii fashion by victor beach duffle bag, seen on the bench below her window
❁ some areas in her room feature the marimekko seven flowers pattern (her wallpaper, curtains)
❁ she has various teddy bears around her room, including a black bear and a panda bear
❁ on her bedside table, she has judy blumes 1983 novel smart women, a story about divorce, single motherhood, female friendships, and self-worth ^
❁ she has cards from the 1970s game careers ^
❁ she has a 1980s kool-aid man figure holding a miniature guitar that is actually sound activated ^
❁ there are at least three completed sewable care bears pillows on her shelves (good luck, funshine, and tenderheart—funshine is seen in season four on the living room floor around the later episodes)
❁ a lion plushie is seen on her shelf
❁ on the shelf beside her bed, she has a red care bears duffle bag with love-a-lot and good luck ^
❁ her childhood plushie is the bashful calico kitty jellycat, now retired (a rare item that isn’t vintage)
❁ she has a pink striped bag hanging on the back of her chair, along with a crocheted (?) blanket
❁ she owns a canary yellow rainbow brite doll
❁ some of the exact posters in holly’s room (care bears, rainbow brite, and an american tail) ^
❁ the first one is advertising the dolls of rainbow brite, rather than the actual 1980s show ^
❁ “come live where the fun is forever,” is what the care bears poster says, referring to care-a-lot ^
❁ the last picture is of the 1984 love with hearts postage stamps, used for special occasions ^
okay so I’ve never requested anything before but…I love your Karen wheeler pieces!!
…so in my head I have Karen as a 100% power bottom like she wants to be treated as a princess but have full control! :3
so I need to see Karen as a power bottom…but a bratty power bottom who gets all grumpy and frustred and whiney when she doesn’t get what she wants but as soon as she puts on that “mom” voice..we’re cracking fr
Anyway thank you!!!
Can I pretty please be 🐛 anon!!!
karen wheeler x fem!reader headcanons
warnings: nsfw, mommy kink
-karen who LOVES control. but also hates topping…. it’s something rare, and hard to find. especially in a man at karen’s age, and she recognises this. which is why she decides to completely flip her game.
-what’s the opposite of an old man? a young woman.
-karen had become undeniably besotted with you ever since she first saw you at the library when she went to pick up a new book.
-it was your first week on the job and you’d already been in trouble countless times for talking too frequently and too loudly by your boss. karen just couldn’t keep her mouth shut around you, she’d gossip like there was no tomorrow, like her mouth physically couldn’t stop moving. you’d simply lean against the counter, chin in palm whilst nodding in acknowledgment— silently admiring how frazzled the woman appeared whilst she ranted.
-just a few days later and karen had already invited you around. suspiciously enough on a day where her entire family were busy… nancy was staying after school to help out with the newspaper, mike was around a friend’s and ted was attending holly’s preschool play.
-two tart glasses of wine later, and both you and karen are bare upon her bedsheets.
-she practically shivers with wanton beneath you, dark makeup smudged around her eyes in such a perfectly imperfect way that it made your heart throb. she moistens her lips briefly with her tongue, a slender hand raising to tenderly cup your cheek.
-“come on, y/n, please…” she whines huffily, brow creasing with desperation as she gazes up at you in a hopelessly pleading manner. “just quickly?… no one’s home.” a teasing pause. “just us”
-“karen…” you’d sigh typically, shoulders sulking with uncertainty. this was a married woman, after all.
-at your reluctance, karen would quickly conjure up another idea. “darling,” she begins, tone laced with that same almost patronising sweetness she gave to her kids, “i’m not asking you, i’m telling you.” she pauses, inhaling deeply as she stares solely at you, dead serious. “you are going to make mommy feel good, okay?”
-you shudder, though feel yourself become increasingly wet. biting down on your lip gently in debate, you find yourself nodding compliantly.
-“good girl.” karen praises in a soft quip before spreading her legs apart even wider. “now, come on. show mommy how much of a good girl you are.”
-staggered, breathy whines and moans soon fill the room as you ravish karen’s dripping folds. her arousal coats your tongue entirely in a sheen liquid and you gulp it down eagerly, tongue smothering her twitching clit.
-she’d bring bony hands down to cradle your head, showing both affection and dominance. massaging your scalp rhythmically whilst simultaneously keeping your head firmly in place to display her undying dominance.
-occasionally, she’d shove your head deeper with negligence to your breathing. all she wanted was pleasure— and the knowledge she had a pretty, young woman between her thighs.
-her hips would jolt and jerk upwards uncontrollably and she’d grunt softly, features creasing and scrunching with the sounds. it doesn’t take long for her to soon grip your head entirely, her hips bucking wildly without abandon. she’d use your face as nothing but a fuck toy, moaning shakily with each sloppy lap of your tongue.
-when she relented and gave into her immense pleasure, she shoved your face down completely so that she could soak your face in her sticky squirt. her essence explodes all over your mouth, dripping down your chin slowly.
-karen’s plump lips would curl into a flushed, delighted grin and she’d swab up a salty dollop of her cum with a simple fingertip before nuzzling it to your lips.
-obediently, you’d part your lips and grant her finger entry. with a finger wedged between your lips, karen would hum in a low, sultry drawl.
-“there we go… see? i knew you’d be better than my husband.”
୨ৎ imagine Karen Wheeler coming home late, the house quiet, Holly asleep upstairs. You’re in the living room when she walks in, and the sight of you makes her shoulders relax.
“she asleep?” she asks softly.
"out cold,” you whisper.
“you’re an angel,” she murmurs, pausing for a moment, then with a shy smile: “would you… stay for dinner? i’d hate to eat alone.”
you decide to stay, since it's not the first time you would be staying for dinner.
dinner is easy, laughter flowing, wine glasses clinking. later, the two of you end up in the kitchen, the lights low, shadows stretching across the counters. fleetwood Mac hums softly from the record player, the warm music wrapping around you both.
karen leans against the island, studying you. “you take such good care of everyone,” she says quietly. “i don’t think anyone does that for you enough.”
without thinking, you step closer. her hand moves to your lower back, slow and deliberate, and she murmurs, “come here, sweetheart.”
your hands find her neck, threading into her hair. she closes her eyes at your touch, and the moment shivers between you. she then kisses you slowly.
“darling…” she breathes mid-kiss, pulling you flush against her.
her lips move over yours with a slow, hungry intensity, deep and unhurried, tasting you. your hands tighten in her hair, her fingers digging gently into your back, anchoring you to her. the music hums on behind you, but all that exists is her warmth, the heat of her mouth, the way she’s holding you like you’re the only thing that matters in the world.
