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he/they transmasc little freak big fan of pirates

[shanastoryteller]

I worked at a McDonald's as a cashier in high school and it was during a time when they changed their POS system (point of sale, not piece of shit) so everything was now in a slightly different, less logical place, but I was working 20ish hours a week so I picked it up really quickly

Anyway I was out with my friend in the next town over and we went to a McDonald's because she really wanted an ice tea and we go through the drive through. The man greets us out of the little speaker and asks for our order and she says "Hi! Could I get a large sweet ice tea please?"

Silence.

Longer silence.

And I knew in my heart what was happening.

So I leaned over and said, "It's on page two of drinks, under juice, then the third one down."

Another much shorter silence.

Then:

"What the - how the hell did... Uh. I mean. Thank you?"

And it's been literally ten years but I'm still riding the high from that.

[pukicho]

On days with no tummy aches, it's like I'm invulnerable, I could fight a truck and be fine. On days with tummy aches, you might as well lay out my death bed and let me sleep, it's my time.

[parkayquarts]

im not even the type of guy to go "actually it's frankenstein's MONSTER" because a painting by rembrandt or picasso or any other artist is often called "a rembrandt" or "a picasso" as shorthand. so in this respect frankenstein's monster can be considered "a frankenstein"

[parkayquarts]

darling I love your 8 foot tall patchwork flesh creature, it really livens up the place. is that an authentic frankenstein?

[parkayquarts]

it's only a true frankenstein if it was produced in the frankenstein region of switzerland. otherwise it's just a sparkling homunculus

[cannibalchicken]

[ne0nwisp]

@amtrak-official does this apply to trains too?

[rottenmarquee]

Boys who use :3 are actually free you can just take them home

[lastoneout]

This website is too mobile focused these days. Reblog and tell me what your desktop/laptop background is.

[lastoneout]

Girl help people in the notes are calling me rich and privileged for owning a computer.

[times-chu]

Guys if your definition of wealth is "owning a computer" then I'm sorry but you're not ready for the revolution. Listen, when the lord of the land makes his subjects stand in the open rain, their enemy is not the man who wore a hat.

[blessyouhawkeye]

telling a joke on tumblr is fun but watch out! if it gets over 1000 notes your joke is automatically exposed to people who have never once heard a joke in their life.

[blessyouhawkeye]

"why would you say that" because it was funny. "but that isn't true" it's the funniest way to express that sentiment. "why would you do that" because it's a joke.

[blessyouhawkeye]

you guys would never believe what's happening to this post

why are people so against negative character development? characters don’t need to improve and become better people they can get worse and make mistakes and end up in a worse state than when they began and it’s just as interesting and entertaining as characters developing positively

[cryptotheism]

Dude you have to listen to this DnD podcast the party has an edgy mean lesbian AND a melodramatic twink AND a muscle mommy AND a joke character. And get this: it's not good.

[cryptotheism]

And oh my god get this: exactly one of the characters is fat or disabled in a weirdly tokenized way.

[cryptotheism]

[splodedblog]

my blog is for sluts, autistic people, boykissers, and ppl who r silly

[that-bluesybitch]

[d4rkerthanbl4ck-deactivated2025]

This will never not be funny to me.

[geek-22]

[just-perhaps]

happy pride 🚊 @amtrak-official

[girlballs-archive]

captain picker isgonna finger himself

[girlballs-archive]

his wife is. 44 years old.

[despazito]

The fucking that old man website when someone actually fucks that old man

[the-unnecessary-commentary]

[alexandersfolly]

Tumblr is stuffed to the brim with 18-25 year olds who talk endlessly about being a hole for old men and have a heart attack the second a consenting adult is in a relationship with an old man

[amvs]

this is eminem’s special goo. he injects it before recording and it’s what allows him to rap super fast. and it is banned in several countries

[amvs]

[sandersstudies]

Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.

[sandersstudies]

Pathologizing: Hey sorry I yelled at you. I have this ADHD symptom called RSD that makes me really sensitive.

Humanizing: Hey, I’m sorry that I blew up like that earlier. In the moment I felt really attacked and overwhelmed and I reacted badly, but I know you didn’t mean to offend me with what you said, so that behavior is on me.