whensuddenlycats

She/her. I strive to reach greater and greater platitudes.

[taibhsearachd]

I need you all to know... in most cases...

A biblically accurate angel is just a guy.

[ruffboi-mags]

[whensuddenlycats]

As a Jewish person- yes, that is correct. As a Tumblr person- I never want this meme to die bc my rotted brain still thinks it's hilarious

[ayeforscotland]

CAN WALES PLEASE COUNT FASTER.

[whensuddenlycats]

Three things happened to my brain just now

1) I forgot Wales is a country that exists

2) I forgot that the word "whales" is spelled with an H

3) in the span of the two seconds it took me to correct myself, my brain scrambled to come up with a plausible explanation to allow me to parse that sentence, the chief of which were

A- It's referencing one of the numerous Deep Tumblr/Fandom Lores I can never hope to truly understand.

B- it's referencing one of the numerous science phenomenons I can never hope to truly understand, one that was seemingly inconveniencing OP specifically

Anyway, I assume you are in fact referring to a vote or something so best of luck and I hope you get the results you are hoping for

[whensuddenlycats]

Having an auditory processing disorder combined with a good musical memory is wild bc I remember in The Year Two-Thousand-ish my family went to the circus and on the way there I heard a man calling "de-spin spon spon cotton candy!" in a sing-song high baritone/low tenor voice. Which is definitely not what he was actually saying, but I sure do remember it exactly as I heard it

[artbyblastweave]

Now obviously the hard part of launching a land invasion of Heaven will figuring out where they hid the hole. Finding the miniscule aperture, the hole in physical reality to which all souls are translocated at the moment of death, and then jamming something sturdy in there, getting it in reallll good and working it around until it's big enough to fit some guys with guns through. But the nice part is that the nature of Heaven means that, one, not many people get in in the first place, and two, none of them are good at fighting, because people who're good at fighting mostly don't go to heaven. Except us, when we find the hole. The point is that once we're in there's not much they're gonna be able to do. Pretty much we'll have free run of the place

[artbyblastweave]

Update! So we forgot about God

[whensuddenlycats]

I hate boobs so much you guys I hate how heavy and uncomfortable they are and how they yank at my skin and how sticky and itchy and gross they get when it's hot and how painful they get when it's cold and how painful they get when the cats step on them and how painful they are in general and how I need to wrangle them into an expensive af spiky cage if I want any support and how they get in the way and I can't ever just take a break from them for a bit and how they're viewed as sexual which makes me feel like ppl are staring at them when they're just another unpleasant, unasked for part of my flesh vessel and I'm not! Even! Using them!! I'm never gonna have kids!! Most mammals don't even have boobs until they get pregnant why do we have to put up with the dangly pain-blobs 24/7/365 FOREVER why why why why why who designed this monstrosity fuck things existing in general

[queer-talmid]

it’s time for depression hours at the office!

[whensuddenlycats]

*goes home* it's time for depression hours at home!

[whensuddenlycats]

My new answer to puns is "your not my real dad!!".

I think I'm hilarious. Wait. Am *I* my real dad??

[ayeforscotland]

Item: The Friendship Bracelet Rarity: ⏶ Common

Which game character felt like a genuine childhood friend?

Feed your dashboard by answering my question, blogger.

Manny Calavera from Grim Fandango

[whensuddenlycats]

All humongous entertainment characters especially Freddi Fish

[doing-90mph-in-central-london]

if he was still alive I know in my heart that Terry Pratchett would have done a bit about Igors and Igorinas doing gender confirmation surgery by now. going into a lab full of bubbling vials and picking out a penis from a tank the way you pick a lobster. that one, please. you gotta be careful though because they'll really try to upsell you into getting two or three installed. people going to the clinic as pairs and just having parts swapped out for a discounted rate. maybe you actually just trade brains, that's even easier. Igorth have already been doing that thurgery for thenturieth.

[heallbeecat]

#one day an igor forgets the lock the cage and a pack of penises escapes into ankh-morpork#the watch spends the next three weeks rounding them up

how DARE you leave this in the tags (affectionate)

[pycnanthemum]

Everyone knew it was best not to look too closely at Igor's jars.

Vimes was beginning to wish he had looked more closely at the most recent additions before Igor came lurching up the stairs to inform him:

"They have ethcaped, thir."

"Escaped. What has escaped, Igor."

"Thome of my.. appendageth, thir."

"Appendages."

"Yeth, thir. Of the... intimate variety."

"Of the intimate..." Vimes trailed off as the dawning horror overwhelmed his vocal cords.

He rallied. "Igor. HOW have they escaped? They are not known for their... perambulatory abilities."

"Really, thir? I've alwayth found them to have a mind of their own at timeth."

Vimes was staying calm. Yes. That was it. He was staying very calm. Definitely NOT thinking AT ALL about how Vetinari and... Good lord, The Times, would react to marauding pack of penises. Would it be a pack? Or would they go off on their own?

"I wath exthperimenting with cuthtom grown oneth, you know. For thothe who cannot grow their own."

"Err... what? Of course you were. I mean. Very good."

[jewishpangolin]

Pictured: An Igor harvesting appendages

[carpe-mamilia]

#[a loud crash is heard from the lab] #[another igor runs past with a giant butterfly net. stopping briefly at the door to shriek 'THE VULVATHS''] (via @the-wave-finally-broke)

[the-tao-of-fandom]

It turns out to be a brilliant feat of advertisement, as the people too shy or uncertain to go visit Igor rightaway effectively get a chance to discretely window-shop in public.

[elodieunderglass]

An unfortunate side effect being that a small girl, denied of her rightful need to be a Horse Girl by the limitations of being a native Ankh-Morpork child[1], would have adopted one of the larger Appendages of the pack and named it Free Willy. Her insistence that she could understand her pet through a bond of mutual sympathy was both touching and troubling, as was her announcement that Free Willy did not want to be attached to a governing body and forced into service, saddled with clothing, or made to perform tricks for audiences. With no Igor having the heart [2] to take it from her, the child was allowed to keep Free Willy, who lived for five healthy years in her family’s pigeon loft and eventually passed away from natural causes after a battle with another fighting cock. The child went on to write a well-acclaimed children’s book, The Willy that Would Be Free, which was, necessarily, a pop-up book.

[1] where an ordinary working class child CAN form a magical bond with a horse, in the form of a pie, labeled as beef.

[2] ha

[prettysurethisworks]

Look, it got longer.

[elodieunderglass]

So did Free Willy.

[discworld-heritage-posts]

Discworld Heritage Post

[teaboot]

Blankie suck Paws mach fuck Father was a monster truck Claws so long Eyes so fierce Biscuits for a hundred years

[tgirlmaomao]

i may agree with your stances on the fuckability of bug-type pokemon and heavy machinery, but your analysis of the nineteen-twenties soviet economy, much like your marvelous vagina, is of minimal depth

[whensuddenlycats]

At no point reading this post did I have any idea where this was going and I think it was going into a tree. Crash.

[s4mm4n]

God I miss the days when you could show up to a stranger’s farm and he’d say “What’s your name, boy?” and you’d take off your hat and hold it to your chest to better let him see your face and reply “Why I ain’t got none, sir, on account of my mammy passed on before she could give me one” and he’d tell you he’s real damn sorry to hear that and ask what he can do you for and you’d tell him that you can’t read nor even write neither but you’re mighty good with horses and can mend them fallen fence posts what you saw on your way in and won’t ask for nothing much more than a hot meal and a warm barn to sleep in and he’d keep his wife and daughters inside but send his boy who ain’t got married yet even though his mama tells him he needs a woman out with a lantern and some stew at night and the two of you’d get to talkin and he’d throw you his flask to take a swig from and watch you drinkin from it while he leant against the door frame and when he finally got called back on up to the house again he’d take a sip from it too real slow-like like it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour

[argumate]

you see you don’t get posts like this on twitter

[lastweekseyeliner]

every day at least once while on a walk i think to myself “it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour” and sometimes if i am alone i say it out loud

[whensuddenlycats]

The way I imagined a 10-12 year old baby and the speed in which my brain updated that interpretation XD

[edgebug]

you'd think that "inhuman thing that isn't a person but speaks like a person and talking to it will slowly drive you mad" would only be found in folktales and fables and so on. but no. chatgpt

[sliminal-spaces]

chatgpt actually makes me feel better to talk to it than almost any human I've ever known but yeah sure

[edgebug]

you are a frog in a pot and you are boiling yourself

[whensuddenlycats]

Just wanted to add that I actually do understand the appeal and although it's not quite the same, I'd like to encourage lonely people to rediscover the lost art of Writing In A Diary.

- you're basically talking to yourself anyway. Or to a teddy bear. And speaking of which talking to a teddy bear is also an excellent option! It can be a way of tricking you to be compassionate towards yourself by imagining kind and caring answers to your woes. And using your imagination is GOOD for you!!

- you're not destroying the planet

- your diary won't encourage you to kys

- your diary is creation as opposed to plagiarism on an incomprehensible scale

- your diary is a much safer place to put your secrets/data, especially if you use a physical book and write with an actual writing implement

- your diary doesn't fund any billionaires

To everyone struggling mentally I see you. I am too. When all else fails, your teddy bear will listen to your tears, and you can hug it too ❤️

[maximumsunshine]

Straight up i think more generally able bodied people with adhd who thrive under chaos should look into becoming an elder care caregiver in a retirement home. Straight up it is NOT for everyone. But i thrive under the chaos of a full (but preferably well staffed) memory care unit. My autism like will red flag the long sensory overload when i get home but i can wind down. And just like. It takes compassion, patience, and lack of give a fuck about really any body fluids. But skills can be taught, the pay is decent, there is no shortage of hours if you're showing up to shifts, and everyone is always hiring. The skills can and will be taught. You're ok walking in fresh off the street if you are prepared to give a fuck about some of society's most vulnerable and work hard to keep them safe, happy, and healthy. If it ends up your calling it can be incredibly rewarding.

ALSO if like you're nocturnal they will pay you EXTRA to work nights. EVERYONEIS HIRING NIGHTS! YOU LIKE FULLY CAN HAVE A JOB THAT NEEDS YOU TO BE NOCTURNAL AND YOU DON'T NEED TO GO INTO DEBT AND GET A DEGREE THOUGH TO CAN BECOME LIKE CERTIFIED IF IT'S YOUR CALLING AND YOU CHOOSE TO GO THAT ROUTE. I'll stop yelling but I'm incredibly serious here. If your adhd keeps you up all night and you can give a fuck about the elderly and you need a job.

Also there are benefits like 401k and all if it.

[iosonomer-blog]

[drtanner]

GO BABY GO

[parrhesiac]

I love this. I *love* this.

Not only does the child have the rhythm and their part down precisely, but also, they are clearly doing the very-small-child thing of reserving exactly nothing.

Children have to learn not to use all of the force they're capable of, adults mostly never use all of the force they are capable of, but here someone has given this child exactly the opportunity to use all of the force their body can produce, and do it musically.

The glee of that all-out effort in a context where clearly the people around them approve and appreciate their contribution? Amazing.

[froginakettle]

young kids in music class on drum days are something incredible to watch. beat the shit out of something and make a big sound under the resounding approval of the teacher? best. day. ever.

[fulgurite-and-petrichor]

[whensuddenlycats]

GUYS HE IS STANDING ON A STOOL. He is so little and smol that is is STANDING ON A STOOL TO REACH THE DRUM. Sensational.

[digitaldiscipline]

[youmegravity]

I need people to understand that sometimes autism is just this

[foxgirltail]

These also

[omnybus]

[whensuddenlycats]

So what I have is exaggerated expressions bc if I don't manually control my face that's what happens. It's exhausting tho, and I've been learning to relax while at home at least. Afaik I'm not autistic, but who knows