ljós

Somewhere along the lines, everything fell apart. In a blur of self hatred and sadness, I lost who I was.

[fairiesinmyhead]

Your face screamed beauty. My mind screamed pain.

- l.w.

[aschlotter]

[aschlotter]

[bsumomo-deactivated20160901]

[phoenixryder21]

I can never find the right words to tell people what I’m thinking. Telling them I’m tired doesn’t work, but I can’t seem to vocalize that I’m mentally exhausted and sick of existing. Telling them I’m sad doesn’t work either, but I can’t explain that I’m struggling not to kill myself and that the joy in everything in my life is gone and when I wake up to the sun in my eyes, I have to struggle to get myself out of bed because most of me didn’t even want to wake up at all. I can’t tell them I’m numb because what I’m feeling is so much more complex than numb and I don’t have the vocabulary to tell them that I feel like I’m drowning and it terrifies me that I feel nothing as it’s happening, and that my insides want to scream but I can’t even find it in me to shed a tear anymore, that every single aspect of my life feels like it’s shaded in grey because all the colors were sucked out but I can hardly even remember what colors are because I can no longer remember a time I didn’t feel like this. No, I don’t know how to say that. So I just whisper “I’m fine.”

[br-o-ken-poetry]

I'm scared of dying but I'm scared of living too. I'm scared of waking up each morning feeling the same as I did the morning before. I'm scared of three meals a day, of going through the same old routine, week after week, year after year, never really getting anywhere, never being properly happy or satisfied. I'm scared that I'll live my whole life without ever really living at all.

broken thoughts | 12am

[mustafakilinc-fotograf-ca]

[logwire]

ginza  15:32:38

[abnormall]

[casadabiqueira]

Boulevard de Clichy

Louis Stettner, 1951

[mustafakilinc-fotograf-ca]

[sa-dnesss]

[wallpaperprintery]

exhausted?

[whenthereisnothinglefttolose]

- Halsey; I would leave me if I could; 2020

[memoryslandscape-deactivated202]

“One of the reasons why we crave love, and seek it so desperately, is that love is the only cure for loneliness, and shame, and sorrow. But some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again. Some truths about yourself are so painful that only shame can help you live with them. And some things are just so sad that only your soul can do the crying for you.”

— Gregory David Roberts, from Shantaram (Scribe, 2004)

[minus-the-negative]

Freedom doesn’t have to mean shame.

minusthenegative.com

[lanattie]

✨🧜🏼‍♀️✨