Wrong is Right #21/100: Anonymous - Graduate Student - New York, NY
IT IS RIGHT TO BE WRONGâŚ
When you look back at things... when you have a distance from the situation. Being wrong allows for learning, a life learning that is personal and emotional.Â
Learning from being wrong has more value, it changes how you approach life, personally and professionally... it helps you see and know who you want to be as a person.Â
Itâs also nice to be wrong when you thought you wanted one thing, and something else happens thatâs better.
BEING WRONG FEELS?
It makes me feel sick! Itâs in my throat, my stomach, and my heart... I feel closed up and super vulnerable.Â
It only alleviates with time... with taking the time to actually sit and understand whyââwhat decisions led to the situation.Â
The worst is when you donât listen to your intuition... when you know its wrong and you still do the wrong and it hurts so deeply.Â
My intuition is quite accurate, so I know, I definitely know. Still, I think I can change things and force it them to get better... deep down though I know Iâm wrong and I canât make it better canât fix the feeling without time.
I think Iâve tried to get better at not going against my intuition, to trust it a little bit more. Yet if Iâm worried something might be wrong, or Iâm not sure about the next step, itâs hard to take any next step if it could be wrong, I often will take a safe step just to avoid being wrong.
DESCRIBE A MOMENT BEING WRONG WAS RIGHT:
I would like to be less scared of being wrong, to make decisions not based on right or wrong, however, I donât feel open to that at this point... Iâm still limited by my own definition of right and wrong.
There are so many moments Iâve doubted myself, like applying to grad school... I thought âIâm never gonna get in,â then I was encouraged to do it anyway and I now Iâm here... Iâm wrong like that a lot and it turns out right.
The biggest one for me though was after university. I didnât really want to be back with my ex, yet I did it anyway. I went with him again for two years and for one whole year of it he was unfaithful to me.Â
I would find out all the time about different women he was with... friends and strangers would tell me about it. The prospect of his unfaithful behavior would always be looming over me like a cloud. Finding all of it out made it so clear to me that he was poison, and now I never wonder âwhat ifâ about him.Â
Giving it a chance, and opening myself even when I knew it was wrong created a tipping point... without trying I would not be able to be with someone else now, I really believe I would always be wondering if it could have worked with my ex... itâs a bit like drugs and that was definitely my bottom.Â
Now I have a deeper knowing that I can be better and deserve better rather than making struggle the center of my life.
â ANONYMOUS New York, NY Graduate Student










