Choosing the Bear?: Notes on Obsession (2026).
In this essay, there will be mentions of horror themes, death, loss of autonomy, abuse, sexual assault, self-harm, and animal death. And obviously, movie spoilers ahead!
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a woman is in want of a husband. Or is that still the truth? According to Vogue, having a boyfriend and showcasing it to the world is seen as embarrassing. Now, this is due to the increase of social media users criticising women for loudly and proudly showing their boyfriends - which can be seen as a critique on women. But on a deeper level, it’s about a change in societal understanding. That dating a man CAN be super embarrassing, especially if they’re a loser!
Over the past few years, there has been an increase in Gen Z women opting to stay single. An upping of standards, realising the people in our lives should be of good quality - rather than filling a societal role. Because of this, when heterosexual women do want to find a partner - there is an opting for kind men. The nice guy who believes in equal rights and supports women. There are some great men in the world who tick so many boxes a lot of Gen Z women look for, and sometimes - they are lies.
Obsession (2026) is a horror film following a man named Bear and a woman named Nikki. Bear makes a wish for Nikki’s heart, however, his wish goes awry. Ending in death, death, and more death - my take on this movie is NOT at all profound. You’ve probably heard this a billion times from other, more reputable sources. But as a girl, who has had her fair share of interesting partners, I obviously have thoughts.
Bear is the epitome of the ‘nice guy’. He’s shy, kind, and is very unassuming. He is portrayed as the ideal guy, someone who would care for you because he truly does like you. He has fallen in love with his coworker, Nikki. He is battling between asking her out (like a normal person) or using a “One Wish Willow” he bought (because he is a wuss). When he chickens out of asking her out, he wishes her to be in love with him. Guess what, the wish is real guys.
Nikki, over the duration of the film, snaps between Nikki and ‘Nikki’. Despite her growing erratic behaviour, Bear doesn’t wish to CANCEL his wish - but to CHANGE it. Despite Nikki’s problematic performance around him and her friends, he is obsessed with the idea of her being obsessed with him.
I’m not gonna explain the whole plot of the film, so here are my thoughts:
Bear takes away Nikki’s autonomy. She communicated IN THE BEGINNING that she does not see him the way he does. He rips her of her choice. In toxic and abusive relationships, one party manipulates the other in order to gain control. Abusers yearn for control over their victims, for everything to go the way they want it - despite the feelings, desires, and needs of the other party. Despite Bear’s nice guy persona, he falls into this category. After watching Nikki destroy herself, he still wants to have his cake and eat it too. This inequality is something we see growing in many relationships in our lives, they start subtle and end horrifically. For many women, there is no escape.
We find out after Nikki becomes dangerous that despite this, Bear will find any opportunity to turn a blind eye if it means he can get laid. Many times we see Bear and Nikki become intimate, with Nikki usually lying there with zero emotion on her face. Bear has not only taken her autonomy, but has used this against her to fill his needs and desires. The real Nikki still shows herself from time to time, and we see as an audience that this causes more harm. It begs the question, how many women are silenced in these moments because their boyfriends are insensitive?
When Nikki is wished upon, it is like she is possessed. There are moments where the real Nikki comes back to the surface and freaks out. When she does become conscious, she begins to progressively move from yelling to harming herself. Her behaviour becomes erratic and horrifying, not dissimilar to someone going through a mental health crisis. Her friends show concern for her, and even Bear tries to intervene. However, all her friends and Bear do not actually do much to get her the help she needs - especially as those outside of the wish would see it as a mental health crisis. Bear wishes to edit his wish so that Nikki stops acting “crazy”, instead of cancelling his wish to save her from herself. Bear feeds on Nikki’s vulnerability, knowing that despite her frightening behaviour - she is obsessed with him. He craves that validation, despite not actually putting in the effort to truly know Nikki. Nikki harming herself can be symbolic for many relationships in life. Due to the genre, it obviously takes it very literal - but harming yourself in a relationship can look different to everyone. Many women experience this when they are unhappy, but we have been conditioned to soften the blow. To care for the other party’s feelings despite our own. To not be selfish, ever. Many women suffer in silence in their relationships, because they know they will not be supported by the one person who is supposed to be there.
All in all, Bear hardly knew Nikki. He did not put in the time nor the effort to truly know what makes her tick. Bear, who kills his cat through neglect and disposes of it horribly, hates himself. He does not think highly of himself, focuses on his obsession to keep him going, and truly has no goals in life. He uses and abuses Nikki to fulfil his most carnal desires, to make him feel needed and wanted - but it was never enough.
Men who hate themselves will ruin your life. They will never understand nor take the time to understand how you can be living a fulfilling life. So many people are in relationships that do not fulfil them, so much so that the horror genre is now filled with movies of toxic relationships. It’s all commentary. It’s all a reflection of how relationships can be deadly. Gen Z women are starting to put themselves first, because sometimes the choice of partner can cost you your mental health. It can mean life or death.
