I am but a poor player

[veryfalsedocuments]

the new park by my house has some interesting features

[spamaohno]

real ones know why looking at this image immediately fills you with dread

[justiceleaque]

the sheer amount of artistic talent put into these panels to portray the right feeling on clark’s face is amazing

[bunjywunjy]

Also best not to pet sharks without gloves. Their skin can really tear up ours with lots of petting.

yeah, this is what sharkskin looks like under a microscope:

it’s covered with tiny interlocking teeth that form a one-way-only surface! petting a shark the wrong way will literally make you bleed, which is still never a thing you want to do if you are in the water with a shark.

(yes, those are literally teeth-sharks ended up evolving a skin covering completely separate from the scales that bony fish ran with and they did it by mutating the teeth out of their fucking mouths and over their entire surface area)

[runcibility]

Being internet-shitpost-aware means that you know damn well that this post is a dread summoning spell

[honeylemony]

[theprettychoice-deactivated2015]

“Alexandria’s Genesis, a.k.a violet eyes (a genetic mutation).

When someone is born with Alexandria’s Genesis, their eyes are blue or gray at birth. After six months, the eyes begin to change from their original color to purple, and this process lasts six months. During puberty, the color deepens to dark purple, a deep purple, a royal purple, or a violet-blue color and remains that way. It does not affect the person’s eyesight. Those who have this mutation will never grow any facial, body, pubic, or anal hair (not including hair on their head, on their ears, noses, eyebrows and eyelashes). Women also do not menstruate, but are fertile”

[lmprovident-blog]

NO FUCKING SHAVING

NO FUCKING PERIODS

AND I GET PURPLE EYES

WHY THE FUCK WASN’T I BORN WITH THIS

FUCK WHY CAN I HAVE THIS

[heritageposts]

date of origin: 2013

[superheroesincolor]

At this point in 2020 I’m willing to try anything

[astrobro]

You realize you need to be hot to be a himbo right? You can’t just be stupid.

[chemychems-deactivated20210407]

[yanderemidori]

i dont fear you or your polycule

[xantchaslegacy]

[once-lier]

god bless

[heritageposts]

date of origin: 3rd of august, 2012.

[lemondemonhater]

this post is going to make me throw up hes a board hes flat theres nothing there why would you make an edit of this concave ass im sick of tumblr i hate all of you

[rob-pattinson]

HENRY CAVILL Henry Cavill Explains Everything You Need To Know About The Witcher’s Sword

[gen-3ric]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[kyleblackpaw]

[cephaloplasm-deactivated2016071]

bear with a dfuck house

WELCOEM TO MY FUCK HOUSE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[orchardsky]

why was this their whole dynamic (x)

[yourfavkins]

Buzz Lightyear (Toy Story) canonically kins Buzz Lightyear from Buzz Lightyear of Star Command!

[frecklefacefromouterspace]

[thechocolatebarsthief]

Avatar: The Last Airbender + text posts

[tevivinter]

Writer friends, I discovered a fun website today. It’s called “I Write Like” and here’s the description: Check which famous writer you write like with this statistical analysis tool, which analyzes your word choice and writing style and compares them with those of the famous writers.  Let me know which autor you got! 

[tevivinter]

…I guess that’s it then 😂

[quiiescenza]

[twastheplague-deactivated202002]

Oh my god

[vaudevillianpersona]

I will never shut up about this

[quadraphonictypewriter]

I didn’t believe this, so I did it again with three different texts and I got Agatha every time.

What a compliment!!

[boogiewuhmun-deactivated2021072]

[feebledungeons]

Well it was nice knowing you guys but I have to go get a lawyer and hide now…

[prokopetz]

Prompt: the ideological opposite of a catgirl.

[z-nogyrop]

so, a catgirl is a human woman who has taken on certain traits of the cat, which is a housepet known for its temperament - it is affectionate when it chooses to be, but it must choose to be. the appeal of the catgirl is the implication that the woman has decided, much like a cat, that the viewer is worthy of affection. thus the ideological opposite would be a feral creature that is known for being tame except for when it is provoked. countless examples of this exist in nature, so to narrow our options we will select one which is generally considered “scary” as a parallel to the “cute” cat, as is also as far away as viable from a cat. as an extremely social invertebrate, compared to the relatively solitary and spined nature of the housecat, i believe the hornet is the perfect choice; despite popular belief hornets are not aggressive unless and until they are given a reason to be. 

then there is the fusion of cat and girl. the catgirl takes the “cutest” and most traditional elements of the cat - ears, tail, and whiskers - and assembles them onto the girl. thus, our inverted catgirl ought to take the most disturbing and detestable elements of the human and assemble them onto the hornet. for this exercise i will propose the spine (deformed due to our bipedal nature compared to most creatures), the chin (a structure that no other animal possesses), and the penis (for obvious reasons).

thus, we can safely conclude that the ideological opposite of the catgirl is

[prokopetz]

Take your prize and get out of my house.

[notvoid]

My twitter tl is blowing up because my friend made tweets and a craigslist ad asking to get me laid

[notvoid]