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REVIEW: Cockneys vs Zombies

After a construction company plans to bulldoze a retirement home that houses a group of Cockneys, two brothers decide to hatch a plan to rob a bank to steal the monies needed to save their grandfathers nursing home. However, after the same construction crewe unearths a cursed tomb in a nearby working site, a plague of Zombies soon begin to take over the east end of London. In a battle for their home, the group of Cockneys decide to take a stand against the undead and put a stop to the threat in the only way they know how - with plenty of fowl language and bloody violence!

The B-movie effects of Cockneys vs Zombies provides mindless entertainment that keeps you smiling throughout, as waves of the undead are smacked about the head with whatever is to hand, or blown apart by the disturbingly large arsenal of the witless bank robbers. The real fun is found in the celebration of the quirky set characters on the screen brought to life by the likes of Alan Ford, Honor Blackman, and Eastender’s Michelle Ryan.

This movie fails to offer anything new to British horror, but as a film, it is nicely paced and filled to the brim with dark humor, lots of gore, and violence engineered to deliver maximum enjoyment for its audience.

A massive well done and thank you goes to Matthias Hoene, James Moran, and Lucas Roche for giving us another highly enjoyable addition to British Horror!

by Jon Dickinson (@marvelguy)

REVIEW: The Seasoning House

The opening film of this years Film4 Frightfest comes in the form of the directorial debut of Paul Hyatt. The Seasoning House promised to be one of the most shocking films that anyone would have seen for quite some time. This was found to be true.

After witnessing her family slain in cold blood, the story follows Angel, An orphaned deaf mute who is enslaved and forced to care for those residing inside The Seasoning House where young girls are prostituted to the military. When the soldiers responsible for the death of her family come to pay a visit, she moves between the walls and crawlspaces, planning her revenge.

The first half is very bleak and depressing as you witness the girls being subjected to rape and other devastating acts of violence. However, after the arrival of the ruthless soldier Goran and his team, the story changes into a brutally tense game of cat and mouse.

The visuals are impressive, but you would come to expect this considering the film was directed by special effects guru Paul Hyatt who has worked on such films as The Descent and Eden Lake. In his debut Hyatt delivers a Brutal, Dark, and Relentless movie experience which is given strength by the fantastic performances delivered by Rosie Day and Sean Pertwee.

Certainly not for the faint of heart, The Seasoning House was certainly a shocking and unsettling film but it kept me engaged at the very edge of my seat!

by Jon Dickinson (@marvelguy)

I met Bart Pierce, the photographic special effects artist for The Evil Dead at FrightFest. We talked about classic horror, the evil dead, and how awesome his sons The Pierce Brothers are! All round great guy and an absolute pleasure to speak with!

#Bart Pierce #The Evil Dead #FrightFest #The Pierce Brothers #FroBroFilms #Deadheads #Smush

Most memorable moments of FrightFest 2012

Listening to Ross Noble’s stand up as he opened the festival

Meeting the Brett and Drew Pierce, the directors of the excellent feature “DeadHeads” and then later sharing a pint and buying a round of Jager shots at the Phoenix

Seeing my name on the screen of Empire One during the end credits of the short movie “Smush”

Glenn McQuaid, one of the writers of V/H/S called me by name before introducing myself to him after the screening of the movie

Watching Jaume Balagueró’s “Sleep Tight” - AMAZING!!

Meeting Simon Pegg before he gave the Variety Lifetime Achievement Award to Special FX Make-up Master Gregory Nicotero

Talking about classic horror movies and The Evil Dead with Bart Pierce, father to the Pierce Brothers

Meeting Jen Soska and Sylvia Soska giving them both a hug at the Phoenix whilst slightly intoxicated as I told them how awesome their film “American Mary” was

Witnessing the most rudest question ever asked at a Q&A - “I thought the film was unrealistic. Have you ever thought about recutting it?”

The French Woman and the never-ending awkward questions during a couple of Q&A’s

Meeting Katherine Isobelle and realising the girl can party hard at the Phoenix