suburban stabby daddy got me on my knees

20’s - MDNI - reblogging away and jorkin’ it to dark depraved pedro boys like god intended

[ess-evo]

You Should Feel Lucky - Part XI

Tags: minors DNI, dub con/non con, stalking, stalker!joel, dirty talk, Stockholm Syndrome, pet names (angel, sweetheart, darlin, etc.), praise & degradation, yelling, crying, violence, swearing, begging, obsession, name calling (slut, whore), pain, Joel is a sadist, rough sex, humiliation, degradation kink, multiple orgasms, anal sex, painful anal, anal creampie, depression

WC: 4.3k

Summary: You may have given up on life, but not on Joel.

A/N: We have returned to the main timeline for this part. I know it's been a longer gap between chapters than usual, but I hope you enjoy this one in all its usual depravity. I want to thank @milla-frenchy for being my sweet beta reader and always supporting me and stalker!joel in all his sick ways. I'd also like to thank this anon for inspiring the first part of the chapter. As always, you guys are the best and I am so appreciative of every comment, reblog, and message. Love you all! 🖤

Divider: @/saradika-graphics

Days drifted in and out, and you slowly started to forget who you were. You hadn’t been to work in weeks; you weren’t really even sure how behind on your bills you might be. Your phone was dead the majority of the time, so it was hard to know who in your life had really noticed your absence. 

Self-care had completely fallen to the wayside. Showers were few and far between, laundry even less often. You ate at least one meal a day, but that was usually only when you’d finally gotten so hungry that you felt faint and couldn’t ignore the gnawing feeling in your stomach. 

It was a Friday evening and unsurprisingly, you had no plans. You’d finally gotten yourself to shower that day and were in a fresh pair of pajamas, cuddled into the corner of your couch, staring at the blank TV screen. It should have been concerning to you that you felt just as entertained watching a black screen as much as you did watching a movie, but the growing depression seemed to swallow up any remaining insight that you had left. 

Your head was so empty and body so numb and tired, that you hadn’t realized you started to drift off. The soft tug of sleep pulled you into a gentle doze as your eyes closed and your body sunk further into the plush of the couch. 

You didn’t hear him come in - didn’t hear the front door creaking open that you hadn’t even bothered to lock, didn’t hear the sound of his boots as he kicked them off in the entryway, didn’t hear the patting of his feet as he approached your sleeping form, and didn’t hear him take a seat on the coffee table across from you. 

It wasn’t until his hand settled on the outside of your thigh that your eyes shot open and you realized you weren’t alone. The usual panic didn’t set in. Instead, you stared at him for a moment. Your body stayed still, allowing his hand to rest on your leg. You watched as he furrowed his brow. 

“Can’t be doin’ that, angel,” he said. His voice was soft yet stern. “Leavin’ your door unlocked like that…what if someone came in and hurt you?” 

Your expression was blank as his words drifted in one ear and out the other. It didn’t feel real. It didn’t feel like he was truly there. Joel took immediate note of your change in disposition. Concern bubbled low in his belly and he stood up from the table. He knew he needed to snap you out of this in some way, but wasn’t sure how. 

“Stand up.” The command was sharp despite his voice still being quiet. 

You stayed laying on the couch but tilted your head up to look at his face. The evening sun created a glow around him that enhanced the unique shape of his features. You weren’t aware that you were smiling at him until his voice cut through the air again. 

“What’re you smilin’ ‘bout? I said, get up. Now.” 

You closed your eyes, flipping to your other side so that your back was facing him. Your mind was entirely too empty to be concerned about any potential consequences from him. Besides, it didn’t feel like you had control over anything - your body, your thoughts, your words. You’d never felt so far away and disconnected before. 

“The fuck is wrong with you?!” His hands grabbed you harshly by your arms, hauling you up and forcing you to stand in front of him. 

Your legs nearly gave out and he gripped you harder. If you’d been able to focus on him, you would’ve seen that his look was one of concern, not anger, but your gaze was fixed straight ahead on his chest as your body swayed slightly. 

“Jesus Christ,” he murmured as he picked you up, carrying you in a cradled position to the bedroom. 

He set you gently on the bed, overtop your comforter. His jaw clenched and he exhaled a sigh of frustration before he spoke, “You eat anything today?” 

You looked at his eyes again. Had they always been so brown? So dark? His gaze was fixed on you. You shrugged your shoulders in response to his question. 

“Use your words.” His voice was slightly louder than before as his irritation started to slip through. 

“N-no.” Your voice came out crackly, as though you hadn’t used it in days. Which, you hadn’t. You weren’t sure the last time you’d actually spoken.

“Jesus, angel…” He pulled out his phone, checking the time. “It’s 7 o’clock ‘n you haven’t had anything? The hell-” He cut himself off, instead just rubbing a hand down his face and turning around to leave the room. 

When Joel opened your fridge to find something to prepare for you, his heart sank. It was bare. There was some rotten produce that smelled rancid, and beyond that it was just condiments and some sort of questionable leftovers. He cleared it all out, wiping down the fridge in hopes of getting rid of the smell. He didn’t want to leave you to go to the store, so he ordered pizza and salad, along with taking time to complete an online grocery order for delivery. He periodically popped his head into the bedroom, and each time you were just staring up at the ceiling. 

While Joel waited for the food to arrive, he finished your partially started laundry, cleaned the few dishes that were in the sink, wiped down your counters, and vacuumed. It wasn’t like you to leave your home in this condition and he couldn’t shake the unsettling feelings stirring within him. 

The food arrived and after Joel put your groceries away, he plated the pizza and salad and brought it into the bedroom. You were curled up in bed with the blanket pulled over your head. He set your plate on the table beside you, carrying his plate to the other side and sitting down beside you on the bed. Carefully peeling back the blanket, he saw that your eyes were open and there was a trail of tears running across your face and onto the sheet beneath you. 

“Oh, darlin’,” he said as he scooped you up, pulling you up against his side as he lowered himself into the bed. His arms wrapped around you but he kept enough distance so he could see your face. You couldn’t help but to cry more at the embrace. You hadn’t been hugged in a while, and the tender act only brought more of your emotions to the surface. Joel shushed you gently as he kissed your forehead and then looked down at you. 

“Wanna tell me what this is all about?” His hand stroked up and down your back as he spoke. You didn’t think comfort from him would feel this safe or soothing, but it did. You couldn’t help but to lean into his touch as you peered up at him and responded, “I don’t know.” 

Joel didn’t know what else to ask, so he just sat up in the bed, lifting you with him and reaching across you to hand you your plate of food. Your stomach rumbled immediately upon holding the food in front of you. Of course, it was your favorite pizza, and you could tell by glancing between your plates that he had already removed the tomatoes from your salad, knowing you didn’t like them. It felt thoughtful. You took a bite of the pizza and it felt like your mind was already starting to come back to life. Bite after bite seemed to refuel you. The brain fog you’d been struggling with started to dissipate, you felt less shaky, and you weren’t crying anymore. 

Your plate was completely empty within a matter of minutes and you sighed in contentment. Joel reached over, taking your empty plate. “Want more?” When you looked over, he was smiling. His eyes were warm, almost prideful. You shook your head no, letting him stack both empty plates and set them off to the side. You felt more alert than you had in days, the desire to sleep finally not all encompassing. 

“I, uh…” He scratched at the back of his neck as he spoke. “I missed you, angel. Tried giving you some space after everything that happened last time…not sure that was the best idea now.” 

It felt as close to an apology as you were going to get. You’d spent days dwelling on your last incident with him, replaying it over and over in your head until you felt nauseous. You’d always known him to be violent, angry, sadistic…but there was an added layer of cruelty that you hadn’t expected from last time. You learned to not seek apologies from him. So, you just nodded at his words, not sure how to respond appropriately. 

“Didja miss me?” His words were still spoken with his usual nonchalance, but there was a vulnerability to his tone that caught you off guard. 

You took a moment to think about his question. You could feel the heat of his gaze on your face as you looked down at your lap. Memories of his multiple acts of service bubbled up. You thought about the care he offered you - his version of safety. You knew that as long as he was in your life, nothing else would hurt you - nothing other than him. Images of you underneath him rose up - the many times that he made you come undone over and over. No one in your life has ever brought you as much pleasure or as much pain as he has. What did that mean? 

Your eyes lifted to meet his, and you nodded. It was the truth, as much as you hated to admit it. At the same time, if he were to leave, and be guaranteed to be gone from your life forever, you imagined that might also be the happiest day of your life. 

Joel smiled. It was a little lopsided and didn’t quite reach his eyes. But nonetheless, it was a smile. A chill ran up your spine, though you couldn’t quite place why. It wasn’t until you blinked and he was suddenly on top of you that you realized your body was likely sensing what was to come. Your hands moved in front of you on instinct, a weak attempt at creating any amount of space between your bodies. 

It was as though Joel hadn’t even noticed. His lips met yours as he pressed his hips against you. He was already hard, very hard, and it had you wondering how long he had been like that. As he settled against your core, you felt your body already responding to him. A wet spot formed quicker than you would have liked and you whimpered into his mouth as his tongue moved against yours. 

“That’s it, angel…I know you missed me.” His hand slipped between your bodies, rubbing your clothed pussy as he continued kissing you. His touch was always one of precision. He knew just what to do, where to press, how firmly, and always the right speed. It had you arching off the bed within moments, your hands coming to his curls at the nape of his neck as you tugged gently, moaning. 

“More, more, more,” you were chanting, not even realizing it because of your focus on the orgasm building low in your belly. You felt a rush of slickness as you grunted at the peak of your orgasm, grabbing onto Joel tightly as he helped you work through it. 

He chuckled, pulling his hand away and looking down at you. “Needy lil thing tonight, huh?” 

You nodded. You weren’t sure what had seemingly possessed you, but you knew that this was the best you’d felt in weeks. You felt alive, awake and the arousal just continued coursing through you. Your hands trembled against Joel’s shoulders, your eyes looking up at him wide and pleading. 

It made his cock throb and his eyes go dark. Fuck, he thought to himself, she’s so fucking willing right now. He couldn’t help but be selfish and think about how he might use it to his advantage. His eyes searched yours for a moment. You already looked fucked out and desperate. He cradled your jaw, his thumb swiping gently across your bottom lip. 

“Angel, what d’you think about us tryin’ something new, hm?” His eyes twinkled as he spoke, not able to completely hide his eagerness. “Looks t’me like you’re needin’ somethin’ a little more today.” 

Without hesitation, you nodded your head. You were pretty sure you’d take whatever he wanted to give you. Your eyes were focused on him, your body like a magnet to his. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he put you under some sort of spell with how badly you craved him right now. All sense of safety seemed to leave your body, replaced with an insatiable need to be as close to him as possible. 

“I got you,” he murmured as he lifted off from you and rolled you onto your stomach. Your breath hitched and you became putty in his hands, letting him move and shift you as needed until you were on all fours, completely stripped of your clothing. Joel remained fully clothed, a juxtaposition that had you squeezing your thighs together, enjoying the feeling of being on display for him. 

His breath hit your bare pussy and you shuddered as his tongue licked a long trail from your clit up to your entrance. He pushed his tongue inside of you, swirling it and groaning at your taste. Joel’s hands held your cheeks spread for him as he buried his face between them, licking and sucking lewdly as you fell onto your forearms, making incomprehensible noises. 

When you started to orgasm for the second time, he didn’t eat you through it. Instead, he pulled back, enjoying watching how your pussy clenched around nothing and how sweet pearls of cum beaded and then dripped down your soaked folds. He kept you spread, his tongue finally meeting your skin again, warm and soft as he licked you clean. You caught your breath just for it to falter once more as his tongue moved up to your tight ring. Lurching forward, you looked over your shoulder at him. 

“Wh-what are you doing?” Your eyes were wide, nervous for what he was about to say and do. 

“Gonna be good f’me, angel?” He unzipped his pants, reaching in and pulling out his thick cock. You moaned and looked back down at the blanket underneath you. Your hands fisted it lightly, preparing to brace yourself. “Gonna let me make both of us feel good, hm?” His cock swiped up and down, the head of it getting caught at your entrance before sliding through again. 

Surely he wasn’t going to just go for it, right? While you’d never done this before, you were sure there had to be some sort of prep involved. Before you could panic too much, you felt him press slowly into your wet pussy. Feeling relieved, you lowered your head with a deep moan, welcoming the stretch. 

“Oh my god, Joel,” you gasped out as he pushed all the way in. You felt the head of his cock deeper than you thought was possible and you arched your back, pushing back into him and melting into the sensation of him filling you completely. “So…full…,” you panted as he set the pace of his thrusts. “Uh…uh…uh…please…Joel…” You weren’t even quite sure what you were asking for, neither was Joel, but the sound of your moans was music to his ears and only spurred him on further. 

“So full, huh?” His hips snapped against you. His thrusts were rough but steady. “Don’t think you’re full enough quite yet, angel.” The tip of his thumb pressed to your puckered ring and once more, you tried moving forward, away from him, but his hand grasped your hip, pulling you back. “Where d’ya think you’re goin’, hm?” 

He removed his thumb to spread your cheeks. You heard him spit and then felt his saliva drip down your hole. His thumb quickly scooped it up, spreading it around your tight ring before dipping his finger in again. You groaned this time, loud and deep as his cock continued fucking into you. It was a new, unfamiliar stretch, but by the time he had worked most of his thumb inside, you felt your second orgasm building quickly. 

“Ohhh my god…” You gripped the sheet and lowered your head, your forehead pressed to the soft fabric underneath you as you pushed back into him and trembled. 

“There ya go…fuck yeah…shit…” Joel dragged his cock in and out slowly, letting you savor your orgasm as you shook against him. His hand held you firmly, keeping you up and arched so he could continue fucking you. When you stopped shaking, he popped his thumb out, watching in awe as your hole stayed open for him just a little. He knew his thumb wasn’t even close to the size of his cock, but at least he could say he tried to work you open beforehand.

Joel leaned over your back, kissing across the back of your shoulders and letting your spent body rest for a moment. His cock was hanging between your thighs now, dripping precum onto the blanket beneath you. His eyes were focused on you, becoming hungrier and hungrier as the moments passed by. His cock was coated in your slick as he nudged the head of it against your still-tight ring. 

This time you didn’t lunge forward, your body stayed relaxed from the orgasm and Joel held you up by your hips as your upper body pressed against the bed. 

“Y’ready, angel?” 

You gave a weak, timid nod, and Joel began to press inside of you. The stretch was unreal. There was no comparison to anything like it, and you grunted, trying to relax but the overwhelming sensation had goosebumps dotting your entire body. You moaned his name and reached around to try grabbing his wrist, but Joel was too focused on how your body was opening up for him. He looked down as he continued to push inside. He groaned, watching inch by inch slowly disappear inside of you. 

“Jesus Christ…so fuckin’ tight f’me, darlin’...” Before he could think better of it, his hips rolled forward and he plunged inside the rest of the way. His head bowed and he moaned, “Fuuuuuck.” 

“Ow, ow! Joel!” You tried to reach back again in hopes of pushing him away, but it was no use. He pulled out halfway, just to roll his hips again. It felt like you were being split in half. With each roll of his hips, he pushed you further and further into the mattress. You were completely prone underneath him now, your legs spread as he continued inserting himself into your tight tunnel. It was too much, and a sob fell from you as he snapped his hips quicker. “Please! I can’t,” you cried out, hoping he’d take some modicum of pity on you. 

When he heard your cry, he stilled. He stayed buried inside of you, but his hand reached up, brushing the hair from the side of your face so he could see you. His fingertips became damp with your tears and he leaned forward. “Too much, angel?” 

You nodded, desperate for his empathy and hopeful that he was going to listen to you. “Please, Joel…it hurts too much.” 

“Aw,” he cooed, kissing your cheek and using his hand to rub up and down your side. “I’ll go slower, hm?” He tried to ignore how his cock throbbed knowing you were in pain. 

You knew Joel well enough to know that there was no point in refusing, so you just stayed still and tried to keep your body pliant for him. His cock pulled out slowly and pressed in again even slower. You felt helpless under his full body weight, just feeling the drag of his cock and the painful stretch that was starting to gradually morph into pleasure. His hand slipped between the mattress and your cunt, his middle finger rubbing against your clit as he continued his careful thrusts. 

“Shit, sweetheart…goddamn, you feel good…tight lil asshole, fuckin’ squeezin’ me…” 

The combination of his words, steady thrusts, and the pressure on your clit had you moaning louder and louder. Joel smiled, noticing how quickly you acquiesced to him. He was proud of you for taking his cock so well. His thrusts started to get lazier, his mind just focusing on the sensation of your tight walls hugging his thick cock. 

He picked up the pace, no longer rolling his hips but instead hammering them against your ass. Your cheeks bounced against him with each thrust and you yelped at the sudden sharpness. 

“Fuck, I knew you’d take it so good, angel..goddamn.” His length railed into you over and over. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as his groans filled the room and you felt another orgasm start to build. It was entirely too much. The sensations had tipped into overwhelming and you were desperately gripping the sheets underneath you as you started to quiver against him. 

“Shit, can feel you clenching around me. Ahhh..fuck…” His rhythm became even more erratic as his balls tightened and he was right on the precipice of his own orgasm. “So fuckin’ tight, fuckin’ whore...you’ll take anything I goddamn give you, huh?” One of his hands moved up to fist your hair, pulling your head slightly back as he continued railing into you. “Ruining your fucking asshole, angel...never gonna…ah, fuck…never gonna be the fuckin’ same again…” He was panting aggressively above you, sweat beading across his brow as he fucked into your ass. 

Tears ran down your face and you cried out as you felt him start to release inside of you. He was so snug against your walls that you felt his entire length pulsing as his cock emptied. He was pressed firmly against you, his balls pulsing against your cheeks as he grunted and groaned. Feeling the spurts from his cock pushed you over the edge as well, hurtling through your fourth orgasm of the night. 

Right as you started to come down, Joel pulled out from inside of you. He immediately looked down, his hands spreading your ass cheeks so that he could see his spend drip out. 

“Wouldya lookathat…goddamn, angel. Beautiful fuckin’ thing.” His fingers scooped it up, tenderly pushing his cum back inside you. He could see just how much he opened you up. He smiled at how red and sore you looked, savoring the sight as much as he could. When he finally got enough, you were half asleep and limp on the bed. He chuckled as he climbed off of you. 

You only passively noticed as he pulled fresh clothes onto you, not cleaning between your legs because he wanted his cum to stay tucked inside of you for as long as possible. He rolled you onto your back, propping you against your pillows. Your eyes closed and it was quiet for a few minutes. When you heard something again, it was the clinking of ice as Joel held a straw to your lips for you to drink. The water felt good on your throat, soothing the soreness from the crying and moaning. 

“Take a bite,” he murmured, feeding you a protein bar. 

Your eyes stayed closed as you took a couple bites. You didn’t have an appetite, but you knew you’d sleep better with something on your stomach. Joel’s touch was gentle. He swept hair away from your face and pulled the blanket around you so you were more comfortable. His lips brushed your forehead then lips in soft kisses. 

“Did so good, angel.” His thumb stroked your cheek and you leaned into the tender touch. “Anything else you need?” 

You hesitated, remembering the unsuccessful begging you did the time before, wanting him to stay and hold you. So instead, you just opened your eyes to look at him one last time as you shook your head. 

Something unspoken seemed to flash between the two of you. You watched in real time as Joel’s eyes switched from dark to soft. He held your eye contact for a minute then got up and walked out of the room. 

This time, tears didn’t come. It was what you expected, so you hunkered down in your bed and closed your eyes to try and drift off to sleep once more. You felt taken care of, even despite the assault that your body had just endured. 

Right as your mind started to wander, you heard the creaking of the floorboards and opened your eyes again, turning to the side to see Joel standing in his boxers. He looked at you for a moment then got into bed, reaching over and turning off the bedside lamp. You stared at him with a confused expression. You couldn’t read his face. It was blank. But he placed his hand on your shoulder, gently turning you away from him as he sidled up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, spooning you. 

“G’night, angel.” 

“Good night, Joel.” You smiled to yourself as you fell asleep. And while you couldn’t see him, you hoped that Joel was doing the same. 

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[whorefordaveyork]

ouuuuuuuu this was so HOTTTT!!! (and also concerning!!) 🥵🔥🔥 joel’s response to the reader’s depression gave me such whiplash, because he does take care of her but also takes advantage of her vulnerable state and hurts her.. the ending tho 🤭

[ess-evo]

You Should Feel Lucky - Part X

*the tags contain spoilers, but if you are concerned about dark themes, please read

Tags: minors DNI, abuse, violence, hitting, punching, blood, violence against children, child abuse, spousal abuse, child neglect, murder, gun use, gun violence, su!c!de

WC: 6.6k

Summary: A glimpse into Joel's past.

A/N: This is a departure from the current timeline, but I think an important part to help us better understand this unwell man and his motives. It is dark and heavy, so please proceed with caution. I lowkey feel guilty for depriving you all of the filthy smut I know you love, so I do plan on answering some of the asks in my inbox with some dirty smut at some point in the near future. As always, thank you all for following along, it truly means the world. 🖤

Divider: @/saradika-graphics

Joel sat on the floor of his bedroom, rearranging his baseball cards in his black binder that was falling apart at the seam. Globs of duct tape surrounded it, and he hoped that it would last until Christmas-time when he could ask for another one. The house had been quiet this morning. It was about twenty minutes ago that he’d heard his dad’s tires crunch on the gravel outside their home, and while he had braced himself for potential chaos, he was relieved to not hear anything.

He only had about five cards left to organize and he felt a little disappointed that he was almost done. He spent most of his time in his room, and with limited toys and the same books, boredom was common. It was a Saturday, which meant that he still had practically two whole days until he could go back to school and spend his afternoons learning and socializing with friends.

Joel was about to slip the last card in the binder when the bedroom door flew open and Tommy rushed at him. “Joel! Joel!” He pushed to his feet quickly, just in time for Tommy to run into his arms, burying himself in Joel’s chest. “It’s happening again!” 

Joel’s heart started racing. He pulled Tommy away from him, holding him by the shoulders and lowering his head to make eye contact. “Look at me.” Tommy looked up at him with tear-stained cheeks. “Hide under the bed. Don’t come out until I say so. Got it? No matter what.”

He stood in the doorway, not leaving the room until he saw Tommy completely disappear under the bed. Gently closing the door behind him, he walked to the top of the stairs. He could already hear the ruckus happening down below in the kitchen. Drawing in a deep breath, he steeled himself for what was to come. He tried to ignore the tremor in his hand as he descended the steps, rolling his eyes at his nerves. He would sometimes fantasize about a magic elixir he could take that would make it so that he was never scared, never anxious. In his dreams, he’d drink down the mixture and then go fight a ginormous dragon with not even a tremble in sight. Those were some of the hardest dreams to wake up from, only left with the disappointing reality of just how incapable he really was. 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!!” Her shrill cries echoed in the dining room and Joel jumped down the last couple stairs, rounding the corner as fast as he could. She was already on the floor, just as he suspected and was worried about. 

It was mere seconds before Joel threw himself at his father, pulling him back by his shirt and yelling, “Leave her alone!” He braced himself for the punch before it came. The last thing Joel saw before his vision blacked out was his mother trying to push herself up from the ground and crawl toward him.

Joel woke up to a cool washcloth running along his forehead. Music was playing in the background - the comforting crackle of the record player accompanying the melody of Hank Williams singing, “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry.” His mom sang along softly, “Did you ever see a robin weep when leaves begin to die? That means he’s lost the will to live, I’m so lonesome I could cry.” His head was in her lap, the scratchy cotton of her dress underneath his head as she dotted the damp cloth across his forehead. 

“Oh, there’s my baby,” she said with a smile as Joel opened his eyes. He immediately noticed her black eye and the cut across her lips. 

“Mom,” he said, sitting up suddenly and reaching for her face. She winced, pulling back as she gently wrapped her hand around his wrist, lowering it. 

“I’m okay, baby…I’m okay.” She gave a reassuring smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “How do you feel?”

Joel reached his hand up, touching his bruised cheekbone that he was sure he’d have to cover up before school Monday morning. “I feel fine,” he offered dismissively. He looked around the living room where they were sitting. “Where’s-”

“He went out,” his mother answered, standing up and smoothing down the pleats of her dress. “I ain’t got a clue where your brother is, though. Been callin’ for him for the past half an hour.” 

“Shit,” Joel swore, pushing off from the couch. 

“Hey! Watch your language, young man.” She narrowed her eyes at him but he didn’t miss the corner of her mouth pulling up in a subtle smile. 

Joel fought his own smile and replied, “Yes, mama.”

Winter came quickly, and it was brutal. Snow covered everything in sight and the temperatures were regularly below freezing. The horrible conditions also meant that Joel and Tommy lost their safe space - the outdoors. The woods behind their house was a regular space to explore, and although Joel didn’t like being away from home and his mom for very long, it was a nice escape when they had it. 

The school break seemed to stretch on. The first couple days were easy to occupy the time as Joel completed his schoolwork and helped Tommy with his. But then they were left with another ten days. 

Their dad wasn’t working, as was typical. He was somehow always “in between jobs,” and just worked the random odd job to make ends meet. He’d already made enough money for the week, so he just sat around the living room drinking beers from the time he woke up to the time he went to bed. Joel and Tommy were skilled at staying out of his way, but their mom wasn’t so lucky.

She’d try to keep herself busy - cleaning, organizing, cooking. But whenever she made a sound or crossed through the living room, he’d talk to her. Very rarely could they have a discussion that didn’t lead to an argument of some kind, and very rarely could they have an argument without it turning into a physical altercation. 

By the fifth day, Joel was covered in bruises, scratches, and welts. He winced when he bent over, his ribs bruised from all the punches. The only relief he felt was when he looked at his mom and saw that she was less battered than usual, him having weathered the brunt of the beatings to protect her. He’d sit at the kitchen counter and watch her as she cooked dinner, noticing the bruises on her wrists that were healing already. He offered to help every night, but his mom would shake her head with that knowing smile of hers, and just ask him to set the table. Joel obliged, he always did with his mom. 

They ate dinner at a precisely set table in silence aside from the occasional creak of a chair or scrape of a fork against a plate. After dinner, their dad went to the living room to drink some scotch, a norm in their house. Tommy went upstairs to play and Joel helped his mom clean up. She turned on the small radio in the kitchen, playing classic country songs that she started lip syncing to. Joel enjoyed watching her. He liked seeing her smile, and how her dress flowed out when she twirled. She caught him watching and sauntered closer to him, grabbing him and pulling him close to her so they could dance together. He bit his lip to stifle his laughter. He wasn’t sure he’d ever felt so silly, but these carefree moments were few and far between, so he tried to relax into it as best he could. 

They swayed to the music, his mother’s soft laughter huffing against his ear as they rocked side to side and spun around together. Joel took a step back in a playful bow and reached out for his mother’s hand. She smiled and curtsied before setting her hand in his and letting him spin her. They both stifled their giggles and he spun her again. Her arm swept across the counter, knocking over one of the measuring cups and sending it tumbling into the sink where it clattered with the other dishes she had yet to wash. 

“What’s that ruckus in there?!” his father shouted from the living room. 

Joel’s mom looked panicked, looking around and realizing just how behind she was on cleaning. She looked at the clock. His father always expected the kitchen to be cleaned by 7 P.M. She only had ten minutes and it surely wouldn’t be enough time. She looked back to Joel and said, “I need you to go get Tommy and draw him a bath. Turn on the radio in there and lock the door. Okay, baby?”

Joel shook his head. “No…no, I’m not leaving you, mom. I’ll help clean. I’ll help-”

She stepped forward, setting her hands gently on either side of his face. “Baby, you need to take care of your brother, okay? He needs you. I can handle your father…but you know what he gets like, and I can’t risk him coming in there to hurt either of you.” 

“Mom, no-” Tears brimmed Joel’s lower lashes.

“Look at me, baby. Tommy’s young, okay? He’s only eight-”

“He’s almost nine.”

She nodded, trying to be patient with him. “Yes, but you’re thirteen…you’re not a little boy anymore. Tommy is. He needs you to protect him…that’s your job as his older brother, okay? That’s what a man does, baby…he protects.” 

Joel drew in a sharp breath, steeling himself so that he wouldn’t cry. He puffed his chest out and stood up tall. 

“Good boy…a man’s job is to protect. And a mother’s job…what is that, baby?” Her features were soft as she regarded him. She had more pride for him than she knew what to do with. There were often times where she felt like Joel was the one thing she’d done right in this world. She had full confidence that he was going to grow into an incredible man, and she couldn’t wait to witness it. 

Joel shook his head. “I…I don’t know.”

“To love, baby…a mother’s job is to love.” She kissed his cheek. “Now go, take care of Tommy.”

Joel heard the grunt of his father getting up from the couch, and he ran upstairs as fast as he could. The tears started to flow and he brushed them away angrily, just like he was brushing away the thoughts of what his father was about to do to his mother. 

Tommy was playing with his toy trucks when Joel threw open their bedroom door. “Bath. Now,” he commanded brusquely. He kicked his toys to the side as he crossed the room then grabbed Tommy by the arm. 

“Ow, Joel! Stop! You’re hurting me!” Tommy attempted to yank his arm away but Joel only squeezed harder. 

He didn’t answer him, just pulled him out of the room and into the bathroom across the hall. When they crossed the corridor, they both could hear the scuffle occurring at the bottom of the stairs. Tommy looked worriedly at Joel who didn’t pay him any mind, just shoved him into the bathroom and shut the door quietly behind him, locking it. 

“Get in the bathtub.” Joel opened the bathroom cabinet, searching for the bubbles that Tommy always insisted on, even though Joel thought he should’ve outgrown them by now.

“But there isn’t even water yet…” Tommy stood against the bathroom wall, creating distance between him and Joel. 

“I don’t fuckin’ care. Get undressed ‘n in the bathtub.” He found the bottle, pulling it out and noticing what little was left. He made a mental note to add it to his shopping list. A few months ago, his father had banned his mother from going to the store, convinced that she was going there just to flirt with the cashiers. So, it had turned into yet another responsibility that Joel had on his plate. 

Tommy sat in the empty bathtub, watching Joel as he turned on the radio, setting it on the closed toilet lid as he started to draw the bath. He averted his eyes from Tommy, knowing how embarrassed Tommy got when Joel saw him naked. Instead, Joel stared at the tiles on the wall, his eyes memorizing the imperfections in the grout as he let his mind zone out. He occasionally dipped his hand under the faucet, making sure the water wasn’t getting too hot or cold as it filled. There was a familiar sick feeling that started to brew in his core, and he clenched his jaw, willing it to go away. 

“Joel?” Tommy asked softly.

With his eyes still focused on the wall, Joel replied curtly, “What?”

“Are we…going to be okay?” The brothers never talked about anything serious, so the question caught Joel off guard who turned back to look at him. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Like…our family. Is our family okay?” The answer seemed so painfully obvious to Joel that he had to hesitate in his response. He assumed that what Tommy was really asking was whether things were going to eventually be okay. In which case, Joel wasn’t sure but liked to think so. 

He gave a white lie as he answered, “Yeah, Tommy…we’re gonna be fine.”

When Tommy woke up it was still dark out. He squinted his eyes out the window and could see the morning sun just barely peeking up. He noticed Joel’s bed was empty. Rubbing his eyes, he sat up, scanning the room before patting to the bedroom door where he saw a note taped to the smooth wood. 

It was written in red crayon and read: stay in room

Joel’s handwriting. He recognized it immediately. Joel had put him to bed last night, ushering him quickly across the hallway after his bath. Tommy was exhausted and had fallen asleep quickly, assuming Joel was doing the same. His hand hovered above the doorknob as he read it, only hesitating for a moment before opening the door anyway. 

The house was quiet, almost eerily so. He walked down the hallway, watching where he stepped so that he didn’t land on any of the creaky spots. As he passed his parents’ bedroom, the door was cracked open and he could hear his dad snoring. When he peered into the room, he saw his dad sleeping in an otherwise empty bed with an open bottle of scotch on the nightstand. 

He crept down the stairs, still watching every careful place his feet landed. When he turned the corner, he saw his mother laying on the kitchen floor. He froze, his body going rigid as concern flooded him. But he was finally able to take a breath as he saw that her chest was moving along with her breaths. 

When he moved closer, he had to throw his hand against his mouth to stifle the scream that threatened to come out. She was covered in blood. There were scratches and welts on her arms and legs. Her dress was tattered and the hairclip she’d been wearing earlier was broken on the floor. He could hardly discern the features of her face because of how swollen and bruised she was. He began to tremble, tears streaming down his face as he took another step closer to her. 

That’s when he finally spotted him. Joel. He was curled up behind his mom, one of his hands pressed to the top of her back as he slept on his other arm that was stretched out underneath him. He was in a deep sleep, but there was a crease between his eyebrows - worry etched into his features even when sleeping. He noticed the blood underneath his fingernails, likely from trying to clean up their mom after the fight. Joel’s knuckles were bruised, a clear sign that he had tried beating their dad again. Tommy never understood why Joel kept trying to do that, knowing that it failed each and every time. 

There was a lot Tommy didn’t understand about Joel. Like why Joel never seemed to be able to hug him. Or why Joel insisted on getting involved in every fight between their parents. He didn’t understand why Joel never helped him with his homework - just huffed and said “Gotta figure shit out on your own.” And he definitely didn’t understand why Joel seemed to stand up for every single girl at school, yet never had a girlfriend. 

And yet, no matter how much he didn’t understand, that never prevented Joel from being the brother he always needed. He thought back to his birthday last year. His dad had been drinking more than usual. He noticed it as soon as he and Joel got back from school. Joel had even warned him when they went upstairs to change their clothes.

“Dad is…not feeling good, okay? So…we might not be able to do a whole lot tonight. Got it?” Tommy knew exactly what Joel meant, so he nodded his head, preparing himself for a disappointing birthday evening. 

The birthday dinner went fine. It was quiet, as usual, but their dad kept his mouth shut when their mom asked the usual birthday questions. Top three favorite things of this year, most looking forward to next year, and the thing they're most proud of themselves for. Tommy loved the questions. It wasn’t often he got his parents’ undivided attention, so he’d start thinking of his answers weeks before his birthday. Joel, on the other hand, hated them. He’d answer the first two, but somehow always got out of the last one. His mom would eventually give up, just offering Joel a small smile and a wink. 

When dinner was over, they all migrated to the living room for Tommy to open his gift and choose the movie he wanted to watch. There weren’t always things to look forward to at home, but their mother did what she could to make their birthdays feel special, and choosing a movie was one of them. 

Tommy made his choice, but something he had said pissed off his dad. He’d forgotten what it was as time went on, but he’d never forget the way his dad jumped off the couch, throwing him to the ground and then grabbing his gift and chucking it in the fireplace. Joel lurched toward the open fire initially, then realized better and walked toward Tommy, helping him up and then getting him into their bedroom.

“I’ll be right back,” Joel had said, before leaving and closing the door behind him. This was typical - Joel removing Tommy from whatever the conflict was before going right into the heart of it himself. 

Tommy cried in his bed, the disappointment from his ruined birthday weighing heavily on him. The only solace he had was knowing that he’d fall asleep and tomorrow it would all be over. What he didn’t expect was to hear Joel’s voice beside him, “Hey, sit up.” 

He rubbed his eyes, wiping away his tears on the sleeve of his shirt as he shuffled upwards in the bed. Joel was holding a small plate with a cinnamon roll on it. A candle was shoved into the center, glowing yellow and creating a halo between the two of them. “Happy birthday,” Joel murmured, holding the plate closer to Tommy so he could blow out the candle. 

He didn’t even bother making a wish. It was his first year not doing so. He took the plate from Joel. “Thanks, Joel…where did you get this?” 

The tips of Joel’s ears turned red as he shrugged his shoulders. “They had them for school lunch a couple days ago…it might not even be good anymore…” His voice trailed off as he continued, “probably stale as shit now.” 

Tommy tried not to smile too much as he said, “and you saved yours for me?” 

Joel rolled his eyes, “Oh come on, Tommy. Don’t make a big stink about it. Just knew that tonight was probably gonna be ruined one way or another, so…” 

“Thank you, Joel.” Tommy’s voice was painfully earnest and Joel had no choice but to sit in the discomfort of his brother’s gratitude. 

“One more thing,” he said as he pulled something wrapped in paper towels from behind his back. Tommy leaned to the side, trying to get a good look. Joel hardly looked at him as he handed him the item.

Tommy unraveled it in his lap, revealing a small wooden train. His eyes lit up. He’d been wanting a toy train for a long time, but finances were tight and their gifts were usually whatever toy was on sale at the time. 

He set it on the nightstand, rolling it forward and noticing that it wobbled unevenly. The wheels were different sizes and one of them was screwed in so tightly, it wouldn’t really move. It looked handmade - somewhat shoddy, but clearly having had care put into it. He turned it to the side and saw his initials painted along it. His eyes shot up to Joel. 

“Joel,” he started, “did you…”

Joel hung his head. “Yeah, I made it. I know it’s shit, I just-”

“I love it,” Tommy retorted quickly. 

Joel looked up at him. “Yeah?”

Tommy nodded. “Yeah. How did you make it?”

Joel looked over at the train. “Dad’s been letting me use his workbench after school sometimes. Took me a few attempts…but this was the best one I’d made.”

Tommy let go of the train and lunged forward, his arms wrapping around Joel’s neck in a tight embrace. “Thank you, Joel,” he spoke, muffled against Joels’ shoulder. 

Joel patted his back. He tried relaxing into the embrace but it felt impossible. His heart was thudding and he wasn’t sure why he felt so uncomfortable. He heard Tommy murmur, “love you,” and it took every last shred of energy he had to respond, “love you too.”

“God, I fuckin’ hate you,” Joel sneered, shoving past Tommy and out of the crowded bar. Tommy followed quickly after him, his beer bottle still held at his side as his shoes crunched on the gravel in the parking lot. 

“Yeah? Well, fuckin’ same. Asshole.” He took a swig from his beer and continued following Joel to his truck. 

“The fuck do you want?” Joel asked as he looked over his shoulder. 

“You never come with me. It’s one time a year, Joel. One fuckin’ time…and you can’t even do it for her?” Right as the words left Tommy’s mouth, Joel spun around. He took a menacing step toward Tommy, his eyes dark with anger. 

“Don’t you fucking bring her into this or I swear to god, Tommy, I’ll-”

“You’ll what, Joel? Punch me? Hit me? We all know that’s the only way you know how to handle anything. You’re fucking pathetic.” Tommy grimaced as he said the words, hating how they sounded. 

Joel shook his head, ready to be done with the conversation. He fished his keys out of his pocket and unlocked his truck. Just as he opened the door, ready to get inside, Tommy spoke again. 

“You know it’s your fault, right?” The anger and disdain Tommy felt outweighed the potential guilt of hurting Joel’s feelings. He was sick of Joel not accompanying him to their mother’s grave on her birthday. Every year, he’d find Joel at the bar, pleading with him to go. And every year, Joel rolled his eyes and didn’t so much as consider it. Aside from the day she was buried, Tommy wasn’t sure if Joel had ever gone to visit her.

Joel looked over his shoulder, a blank expression on his face as he tried to make sense of what Tommy was saying. Other patrons started to file out of the bar, the door opening and the music pouring out into the night air. 

“She’s dead because of you. Because of what you-” He couldn’t finish his sentence because Joel’s fist collided with his mouth so hard that it knocked him backwards. Blood started pouring from his mouth and he coughed, nearly choking on it. He grabbed at his face looking up at Joel. 

His broad shoulders were rising and falling with his breaths as he watched Tommy attempt to stop the blood from trickling out. His eyes were nearly black, and Tommy had never been so afraid of him before. 

“We’re fuckin’ done. That’s it, Tommy. I don’t want anything t’do with you. You can see me at work, that’s it. But don’t fuckin’ talk to me unless you have to. I don’t care about what happens in your life. Got it? Don’t give me fuckin’ updates ‘bout Maria, or any of that shit. In fact, I hope your life fuckin’ sucks. All that shit I did for you?” He was getting angrier, stalking toward Tommy and causing him to back up into the truck behind them. “Goddamnit Tommy, you’d be dead if it weren’t for me. Fuck. How many beatings did you get growin’ up? Huh? Answer me.” He was toe-to-toe with Tommy now. 

Tommy shook his head, sputtering blood. 

“That’s what I fuckin’ thought…can’t even fuckin’ give me an answer. Wanna know why? Because it’s none, Tommy…’cause I saved your ass every goddamn time. ‘N I’ve continued to. The amount of money I’ve thrown away at gettin’ you outta jail? Payin’ for a goddamn lawyer t’get you outta whatever mess you’re in?” He shook his head. “I’m done. Take care of your own goddamn messes now.” 

Joel walked to his car, getting in and closing the door without looking back. A group of bar patrons had gathered from afar to watch what was transpiring. Tommy glanced over at them, shame and regret bubbling up. “What are you fuckin’ lookin’ at?!” he shouted through blood-stained teeth. 

The group dissipated, scattering away to their cars. Tommy watched as Joel drove down the road. One of his wheels spun out and kicked up dirt as he hightailed it away from the bar. Tommy’s mind flashed back to the wheels on the toy train. A lump formed in his throat as he stifled his cry, instead just getting in his own truck and doing what he could to avoid looking at himself in the rearview mirror. 

He knew it was going to be a bad fight. He knew it by the look in his father’s eyes and the number of broken dishes on the kitchen floor. His mom looked at him pleadingly, quietly speaking, “Please, baby, take Tommy and go…” There was true terror in her eyes and it made Joel feel nauseous.

All of his nerves were on fire, telling him to run, stay, fight, anything. He wanted to stay and help his mom, but he looked over at Tommy cowering by the front door with his backpack still on from school. He looked more like a 4-year-old than an 8-year-old right now and it crushed Joel to see. 

He gave one last glance at his mom, and then his father smashed another plate on the floor, screaming nonsense. Joel turned to the front door, brushing past Tommy to yank it open before he grabbed Tommy by the backpack and said, “Come on.” 

They ran across the front yard and across the street to the woods on the opposite side. Joel was thankful for these woods. They were the main place that he and Tommy played, but also their main escape from home and their father. The boys were sure that their father knew that this was where they came to get away, but he never wanted to spend the energy it would take to track them down there. 

It was still going to be light out for a while, so Joel knew that Tommy would be fine out here. He tried to distract himself, watching Tommy gather sticks and build with them, but his leg wouldn’t stop bouncing and he kept glancing back in the direction of their home. 

He pulled a peppermint out from his pocket, offering one to Tommy silently who just shook his head. Joel popped it in his mouth and closed his eyes, trying to take the advice of his mom. He pictured her sitting with him in the bathroom, where she had found him nearly hyperventilating as he cried with the shower running behind him as he sat on the floor. He’d tried to cover up the sounds of his sobs, but his mother had heard anyway, coming to check on him. She’d told him that eating a peppermint would help, but hadn’t explained why. And on that morning, when she unwrapped it and handed it to him, pulling him against her chest as she cradled him, he found that it had worked. 

Tommy didn’t seem to notice Joel’s building anxiety, preoccupied with his pretend world that he was creating. Joel was envious that Tommy was still able to do that. He couldn’t remember the last time that he truly played. 

After another few minutes, Joel couldn’t take it anymore. “I’ll be back. Stay here, okay?” He gave Tommy a stern look, earning an uncertain nod in response. 

As Joel started toward their home, he got a bad feeling in his gut. He’d learned time and time again that that feeling was usually right. So he started running. Fast. He ripped through the trees, hardly looking as he crossed the road into their front yard. Just as his foot hit their property, he heard a gunshot. It froze him for a moment, his mind trying to discern whether that was really what he heard and whether it was really coming from his house. 

He burst in through the front door, nearly knocking it off its hinges. His jaw dropped as he saw his mother laying on the kitchen floor in a pool of her own blood, quiet whimpers coming from her trembling body. His heart was pounding as he looked up at his father standing above her. He opened his mouth to shout something, but then all he saw was red.

The beeping of the hospital monitors lulled Joel into a stupor. He stared off, his mind seemingly empty as he studied the white wall. A doctor walked in, checking his mother’s vitals and glancing over at Joel through the corner of her eye. 

“You okay over there?” she asked. 

Joel looked over at her, simply nodding his head and continuing to pick at the skin around his thumb. 

“Your brother is down in the cafeteria with the social worker. You didn’t want to join them?” This doctor had been incredibly kind to both boys since they arrived. It broke her heart to see how scared they both had been, and she could only imagine the horrors that Joel had had to witness. 

Joel shook his head. She crossed the room to him, setting her hand on his shoulder. “Your mother’s stable…she’s going to be okay.” 

Joel clenched his jaw as tears came to his eyes. The doctor sighed, giving his shoulder a squeeze as she continued, “I’m so sorry about your father.”

His mom stirred in the bed and the doctor turned around, moving over to her and calmly speaking to her in a quiet voice. Joel tried to listen, but his brain felt so far away from his body, that all he could really do was just watch. 

Before they could finish their conversation, a police officer walked in. Joel’s eyes snapped up, his heart pounding. He watched in slow motion as the officer began speaking with his mom. He heard his mother crying, her sobs turning into pleading as she insisted over and over that his father wouldn’t kill himself. 

Joel didn’t respond as his mother started asking him questions. He felt like he was under water, only hearing distorted sounds. It wasn’t until the officer was standing in front of him that Joel came to and looked up. 

“You alright son?” he asked, peering down at Joel with a semblance of concern in his eyes. 

Joel took in a breath and nodded. 

“Alright kid, jus’ gotta confirm real quick…follow-up after your statement from earlier.” Joel hardly remembered making a statement. “You ‘n your brother were in the woods. Ya heard a gunshot and went running to the house, and then you heard a second gunshot. Your brother stayed back in the woods, and when you got into the house you saw both of your parents lying on the floor. Then you called 911.” He looked up from his clipboard. “That all correct?” 

Joel nervously glanced at his mother who was wide-eyed and staring at him, her jaw partially falling open. She vaguely remembered seeing Joel in the house. It was right before she lost consciousness, and she knew that at that point her husband was standing right beside her. The pieces clicked together slowly as she watched Joel confirm everything and listened to the officer give his report to the second officer who walked in, hearing how Joel’s and Tommy’s stories lined up. 

She was trying not to panic, but when Joel looked over at her, her motherly instincts kicked in and she offered him a comforting smile. Joel seemed to accept this, smiling back as his shoulders finally relaxed. He thought that maybe now, everything might finally be okay.

The school bus was running late, and Joel was growing more and more antsy by the minute. He wished that he had just walked home as usual, but lately he’d been trying to ride the bus with Tommy. Joel hadn’t anticipated how bad Tommy’s grief was going to be, and despite him not understanding why Tommy would miss their abusive father, he was trying to be as supportive as he could. 

The bus rounded the corner onto their street and Joel’s leg started bouncing. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, anxiously waiting to get off the bus. He hoped that his mother wouldn’t still be in bed. That seemed to be where she always was now. Joel would have to practically beg her to get up and take a shower. And even then, when she was finished, she would just go right back to bed. 

Joel cooked all the meals for him and Tommy, carrying a plate up to his mother and holding back tears when she wouldn’t even take a bite. 

But he’d talked to his teacher today, asking her questions about what to do when someone seems really, really sad. She had mentioned something called therapy. Joel had never heard of it before, but his teacher scribbled down some information for him, looking at him skeptically as he insisted that he was fine and it was just for a friend. 

Their mother was indeed still in bed when they got home, but she took the piece of paper from him and sat up to give him a kiss on the cheek. 

He fell asleep feeling hopeful for the first time in weeks.

Life had never been better. Tommy seemed to be doing better - he was back to playing and making stupid jokes that pissed Joel off. His mother started therapy and returned to her normal cooking and cleaning, even sometimes laughing at some silly thing that the boys were doing. 

Joel had never before experienced life without fear and abuse. His body didn’t stiffen every time he came home anymore. And their nightly dinners weren’t silent anymore either. He was sleeping better than ever before. His grades were improving. And his mom almost seemed back to her usual self. 

She was going to therapy weekly and even though she seemed exhausted, she wasn’t walking around crying anymore. 

A few months went by, and Joel was too preoccupied to notice the subtle changes in his mother’s behavior. He thought it was simply her being caring when she wanted to teach Joel new things. She made sure he knew how to sew and do his own laundry. She taught him how to balance a checkbook and navigate the phone directory. She instilled confidence in him. With every new skill he learned, she’d squeeze his arm and say, “That’s my boy.” Joel had already been pretty self-sufficient up to this point, so it didn’t take much for his mother to feel more reassured about his skillset. 

She started spending more time with him in the evenings. He noticed that she would read three or four chapters rather than two when she read to him and Tommy before bed. She started asking him to go on walks with her after dinner, where they would talk about whatever Joel wanted. She reminded him frequently that his job was to take care of Tommy, and rather than before, when she would follow it up by saying that her job was to love and take care of him, now she said that he didn’t need anyone to take care of him - that he was finally a man. 

But Joel didn’t feel like a man that one Friday afternoon when he walked off the bus with Tommy and saw the police car in his driveway. He didn’t feel like a man when the officer sat him down on the couch to tell him that his mother was gone. He didn’t feel like a man when he crumbled to the floor, sobbing so hard that he nearly vomited. And he didn’t feel like a man when his mother’s casket was lowered into the ground and he screamed louder than he ever had before. 

It was the social worker that had eventually told Joel that his mother left letters - letters to him and Tommy, as well as letters detailing how she hoped they’d be taken care of after she passed. Arrangements had been made for them to stay with an aunt they’d never met before. She was kind enough, but a bond never formed. He and Tommy stayed with her until the day Joel turned eighteen. 

He’d been working and saving up money, and he and Tommy were able to move into their own place. It didn’t take long for Joel to start to channel all of his grief into caring for Tommy, and it didn’t take Tommy long to start wreaking havoc everywhere he went. It turned into a natural pattern for the two of them. 

It felt right to Joel, caring for someone. As pissed as he got each time he got a phone call about some trouble Tommy had caused, he found himself grateful for something to pour his energy into. He realized that when you cared for someone else, you didn’t have to deal with your own emotions. It became a natural suppressant for him. 

Over time, he thought about his mother less and less. He was thankful to his brain for slowly tucking all of those memories away into a little box. He’d never read the letters that his mother wrote for him. He never went to her grave after seeing her buried in it. He removed the photos of her from the mantel, leaving only empty frames and pictures of him and Tommy. The only thing he kept was an always-stocked glass jar of peppermint candies in his kitchen cupboard. He didn’t have an explanation for it, didn’t ever really think much of it, but it had become such a habitual part of his life. Joel started to forget about the abuse, and the trauma, and the grief. He buried it so deep that he wasn’t sure if it was even there anymore. And it was then that he finally started to feel it. He was finally a man.

AO3 | masterlist | YSFL masterlist | part XI

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[whorefordaveyork]

I’m geniunely sobbing re-reading this chapter again. this explains so much, but doesn’t make it hurt any less. I feel so bad for stalker!joel. my heart is utterly broken. 😭💔💔💔💔 this part had me swallowing around a lump in my throat:

”Good boy…a man’s job is to protect. And a mother’s job…what is that, baby?” Her features were soft as she regarded him. She had more pride for him than she knew what to do with. There were often times where she felt like Joel was the one thing she’d done right in this world. She had full confidence that he was going to grow into an incredible man, and she couldn’t wait to witness it. 

Joel shook his head. “I…I don’t know.”

“To love, baby…a mother’s job is to love.” She kissed his cheek. “Now go, take care of Tommy.”

AND THE LAST SENTENCE?!?!? ESSY!!! MYGOD!!! 😭

[ess-evo]

Hear me out: How would stalker Joel react if there was ever a situation where he couldn’t get it up as fast as he liked? Because he’s a bit older and what if he has been stressed out and stuff (poor ole man)… what depravity would he make the reader do to him to get him goin’?

hi beautiful anon 😘 this ask made me smile sm because it allows me to just write absolute filth. so, dirty smut incoming:

tags: stalking, breaking in, dirty talk, slapping (face, pussy), noncon/dubcon, humiliation, degradation, pussy inspection, furniture humping, oral sex, spitting in mouth, fingering, erectile issues, anger

It was past midnight when Joel came over. He was sure you'd be sleeping, and he'd be lying if he said that waking you up wasn't one of his favorite things - your groggy voice, confused look in your eyes, your warm body - he could get hard at the thought alone.

He came in through the window this time. You'd added another lock to your backdoor, and while he knew he could figure it out, he was too horny to complete a puzzle of any kind to get to you. Instead, it was easier to grab the ladder you kept in the back shed, lean it against the house, and come in through one of the second story windows.

The comforter was only covering half of your body. He licked his lips when he saw your sleep shorts that had ridden up, exposing your bare ass with no panties underneath. He palmed himself as he approached you, slightly surprised that he wasn't sporting an erection yet. But he wasn't concerned, he knew that as soon as he smelled your scent and felt your soft body underneath him, he'd be hard as a rock.

You didn't stir when he first climbed onto the bed. The mattress dipped and he wasted no time in pressing himself against you. His lips met the tender skin of your neck and he kissed, licked, and sucked, devouring you immediately. He felt you jolt underneath him, your hands trying to push you up from the bed and then reach around to push him away. He smiled against you as he murmured, "missed you, angel."

"Joel?" You sounded scared and normally your voice alone would have him practically leaking in his pants, but he pauses for a moment when he doesn't feel anything. At all.

"Mhhm, angel," he murmurs again, this time his hands have gotten greedy and he's groping your body, feeling your curves underneath his broad form.

He can feel the moment that you decide to give in. Your body becomes more pliant and he can finally flip you over and look at your sweet face. Your eyes are wide, but they hold a glimmer of excitement in them. He knows that look. You want him there just as badly as he wants to be there, you just don't want to show it.

Sliding down your body, he pulls down your sleep shorts and holds them to his nose, taking an inhale of his favorite nectar. His eyes are dark when he looks up at you and he smirks.

It isn't until he's tongue-deep inside of you that he starts to really worry. He reaches down to feel his cock, it's entirely flaccid. Irritation blooms and he stands up. "On your knees," he commands, pushing down his pants and stepping out of them. He sees your surprised look when you look down at his limp cock. It pisses him off.

"On your fuckin' knees, I said." His jaw twitches.

You obey quickly, flinching at his sharp tone and sliding off the bed and then onto your knees in front of him. His thumb swipes your bottom lip before slipping inside and opening your mouth. "You know what t'do."

You can take most of him in your mouth since he's soft. You bob your head up and down, one hand cupping his balls as the other is pressed against the hairs on his thigh. Trying to focus, you close your eyes, smelling his musk and tasting the salt of his skin.

It isn't working. Joel is only growing more frustrated. He shoves you off of him, causing you to fall backwards as you catch yourself with your hands behind you. You look up at him and can see the anger etched into his features. As you open your mouth to say something, his hand flies across your face.

"Fuck!" he exclaims, frustrated that nothing seems to be working. He smacks you again, hoping for his cock to at least twitch. Nothing. He grabs you by the hair, hauling you up quickly and then crashing his lips against yours. He walks you backwards until you hit the wall of the bedroom. His hands are rough as he gropes and kneads at you.

"Goddamnit!" He punches the wall next to your head, his fist breaking through the dry wall. You flinch as he takes a step back, his chest rising and falling as he scans your body.

His mind is racing, trying to think of anything he can do to try and get his dick hard. He closes his eyes for a moment, fantasizing. When he opens his eyes again, he sees you shrinking against the wall, anticipating what his next move is going to be.

You're too afraid to speak, but when he grabs you by the arm and flings you toward the bed, an involuntary yelp escapes. You fall on the bed and he immediately places a hand on your back, stilling you as you are bent over the side of the mattress.

He removes his hand and stands behind you. "Spread f'me."

There's a moment of hesitation then you ask, "W-what?"

He reaches over, taking your hands and pulling them behind you, setting them on your ass. "Spread yourself f'me."

You feel your face redden as you're bent over. It's humiliating. And still, you comply, reaching behind you, your fingers pressing into the fat of your ass as you pull apart. You hear Joel whistle as you present your holes to him. You squeeze your eyes shut, shame washing over you.

"Fuck, look at that.." His eyes are zeroed in on your tight holes and he can see how you start to glisten. "Pretty lil holes, darlin'."

He keeps you spread like that for another couple minutes, but they drag on slowly. He watches intently, focusing on how your slick gathers and drips. His brain is aroused, but his cock is fucking useless. Another wave of anger overcomes him and he steps forward, slapping his hand across your spread holes. You immediately startle, jumping up and turning to face him with a shocked look on your face.

Joel has the audacity to laugh. You snarl at him as you spit out, "I fucking hate you."

He's still smiling as he runs a hand down the side of your face. "Aww, angel..think you just need t'feel good, huh?"

Before you can respond, he's grabbed you by the back of the neck and is dragging you into the living room. You stumble as he thrusts you toward the couch. "Ride it."

You look at him clueless again. He rolls his eyes. "I gotta explain everything to ya? Get up there, straddle the armrest, 'n hump."

You're wearing nothing but your sleep shirt, still feeling embarrassed and afraid as you climb up onto the couch, straddling the armrest. You can't stand to look at him, so you avert your eyes to the plant in the corner of the room as you start to grind your hips against the soft fabric.

You can already feel how wet you are and this only makes you feel more ashamed. Your nipples perk up, visible through your shirt, and Joel notices immediately. "Fuck," he whispers to himself as he sees you swirl your hips. "Faster," he says more audibly.

The increase in friction pulls a whimper from your lips that you wish you could've stifled because of the groan that it elicits from Joel. Your fingers grip the edge of the armrest, your thighs clenched tight around it. When your eyes move over to him, he's still flaccid. Worry starts to overcome you when you wonder if he'll ever leave without being able to fuck you.

He stands beside the coffee table, watching you hump against the couch. You continue the fast pace that he made you set, and you feel that familiar tightness in your lower belly. You look up at him with a furrowed brow, and he knows you're close.

"Stop."

Your hips still but another whimper slips out. Joel gets on his knees in the middle of the living room. He motions for you to come over to him. "Kneel in front of me, legs spread."

When you do, he takes no time in pushing his hand between your legs, two of his fingers thrusting up into you. "Ohhh fuck, angel..so fuckin' tight all the time..goddamn."

You moan as you feel his thick fingers plunge inside of you. The pace he sets is brutal. Wet sounds of skin on skin fill the room and you toss your head back. His thumb presses on your clit and you clench around his fingers.

"Open your mouth."

You're seconds away from an orgasm, desperate to feel the release, so you don't think twice before your jaw falls open. Joel spits in your mouth and you swallow it down without being told.

"Good fuckin' girl..now come."

Your pussy squeezes his digits, your entire body stiffening as the orgasm works through you, wave after wave. Then you start shaking as he continues the thrusts of his fingers.

When you start to come down, you look to see that his cock is starting to harden. His smirk tells you that this is all far from over.

YSFL Taglist: @untamedheart81 @shadowqueen2024 @shrewdreader @m3rdim @taniamiller @joelmillerspnk @have-you-seen-my-sanity @wand-erer5 @whorefordaveyork @jasminedragoon @pedge-page @cinnxmxngxrl @arthursdodobird @honey-moon-13 @jules6898 @valyrianjoel @spectralgalaxygauntlet @missadangel @mydarlingjoel @jamjamjamming @biagaloree @sub-aro @david-10ninch-blog @pdrospnk @ratatouilleremyrini @gunnersaurusrex @joelsarchive @xkyxkyxxlylcylulucuflfluclu @bevellin777 @cordycepskiss @upintheclouds95 @fairly-feral @rawndoldersupremacist

[whorefordaveyork]

You look at him clueless again. He rolls his eyes. "I gotta explain everything to ya? Get up there, straddle the armrest, 'n hump."

OH. MY. GOD. THIS IS TOO HOT!!!!! WHY IS JOEL ORDERING THE READER TO HUMP SO HOT?? 🔥🔥

joel just slapping and dragging the reader around to get his dick to work despite being ”too horny to solve puzzles” in order to get to the reader was kinda hilarious (don’t tell stalker!joel that I said that pls!)

[nonlynear]

I Have Crossed Oceans Of Time To Blog With You Baby

[david-10ninch-blog]

@whorefordaveyork

[whorefordaveyork]

@david-10ninch-blog 🥹❤️❤️❤️

[cordycepskiss]

𝒽ℴ𝓌 𝒾 𝓈ℯℯ @whorefordaveyork | read YSFL by @ess-evo

𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑢𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝓭𝓪𝓻𝓴𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓼.

𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚢, 𝕘𝕠𝕠𝕗𝕪 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕.

© all works and posts property of mothsinwyoming (est. 2026)

taglist: @ess-evo @sayjoel @stephtuckerwriting @david-10ninch-blog @kai-ispunk @prayingf0rlove @millert

[whorefordaveyork]

THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! I’M SO STUNNED AND IN AWE!! 🥹😭💛 @mothsinwyoming COME OVER HERE MY BABBY, SO I CAN GIVE YOU THEEE SLOPPIEST KISS EVERRR MWUAH 💋💋💋

[pink-heart-writes]

[david-10ninch-blog]

@millert 💔💔💔

@sayjoel @whorefordaveyork

[whorefordaveyork]

bestie.. bestie you are treading mighty thin ice with this one (I love that for you🖤)

[whorefordaveyork]

rise and shine I guess..

@david-10ninch-blog @stephtuckerwriting @xobelleb @kaliisapunk28 … @sayjoel

[whorefordaveyork]

if he wanted to he would 🖤

ain’t that right girls? @david-10ninch-blog @stephtuckerwriting @xobelleb … @sayjoel

[sayjoel]

i’ve gotten you fuckin’ flowers before..dumb bitch. ‘n what…he drew a heart on the fuckin’ window? fuckass loser..basic as shit..what’s his name, dan?

[whorefordaveyork]

a dumb bitch? oh wow miller that’s so charming and original.. you don’t gotta worry about his name, but I bet the whole block heard me scream it while we were fogging up those car windows 🖤

[whorefordaveyork]

if he wanted to he would 🖤

ain’t that right girls? @david-10ninch-blog @stephtuckerwriting @xobelleb … @sayjoel

[whorefordaveyork]

a little weekend getaway with mr. york 🖤🍷

hope everyone is doing good!! @david-10ninch-blog @stephtuckerwriting @xobelleb @sayjoel

[sayjoel]

….the fuck is this?

[whorefordaveyork]

just a little trip to calm me down and help me feel safe again after all that *ahem* chaos.. don’t worry I’m very well taken care of

[whorefordaveyork]

a little weekend getaway with mr. york 🖤🍷

hope everyone is doing good!! @david-10ninch-blog @stephtuckerwriting @xobelleb @sayjoel

[sunshineflowersandkisses]

Bloody Roses Chapter 3

The Truth

Pairing: Joel miller x female reader

Summary: Joel has found you and he’s wanting your help with getting the truth.

Warnings: mentions of murder, swear words and brief mention of suicide.

Word count: 3.4k words

Authors note: Aaaaah I’m so excited that y’all are enjoying this series so far cause I’m having fun with it too. I hesitated on whether I wanted to post it already, but i was so excited to share it with you and I feel like I’ve just been non stop writing for this one, I have no many ideas or routes I want this to go. Plus I don’t want to stop and get writers block and never come back to this. Tag list for this series is always open so please ask! Reblog and comment if you like it or what you want to see happen next. Suggestions and advice are always welcome. Thanks everyone again so much for the continued show of support and love on here.🌻💛

Bloody Roses master list

Tag list for bloody roses: @vickie5446 @mxkhxx @ptolemaea444 @saralovesjoelmiller @princessofthalia @lulusa27 @somedayheaven @pedrofan @aegoniipascal @perfectpoetrybluebird @mydarlingjoel @mystickittytaco

“They won’t believe you anyway.” You pushed back when you realized your back was against the wall. That was your only defense and you just hoped he would take it and run. “You’re a convicted serial killer, and I’m a respected journalist. Who do you think they’re going to believe?”

The question was rhetorical of course. Joel just stood there looking at you with a look of contemplation on his face. You could see the wheels turning in his head, trying to come up with a plan. And you didn’t doubt for one second that he didn’t already have one.

“We both know the answer to that, but once I tell them how you helped me they won’t have a choice but to believe me.” You stood there with a baffled look on your face wondering what truth he was talking about.

“Excuse me? And what truth is that exactly?” Crossing your arms across your chest watching as his eyes briefly dropped to the movement his eyes darkening.

“I’ll tell them you gave me this address. When you interviewed me, I’ll tell them I told you I was planning to escape and you said you would help me.” He said with a cocky smile. “Nobody else knows about this place or even where it is.”

“My boss knows about this place.” You quipped back and watching as his smile faded a little.

“Oh yeah your boss.” He grumbled as he looked away. “Well I know all about your boss and he’s not who you think he is.”

This was just a distraction. That’s all this was. He had no idea what he was talking about, and was just making everything up as he went along. Joel didn’t have a clue as to who your boss was, and was just trying to throw anybody he could under the bus. He was very intelligent you’d have to give him credit for that at least.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about. My boss is a good guy, and he cares about me.” Arguing back even though he’s the one who helped get you into this mess.

“Do you really believe that?” He had asked you, and you hesitated for a brief moment and he saw that.

“Don’t try to manipulate the situation we’re not talking about my boss right now, we’re talking about you.” Focusing back on the killer standing in front of you.

That’s when you remembered something he forgot to take into account. You had your tape recorder that was on the whole time, and recorded everything you two talked about. You were going to do everything you could to convince him you had something over him.

“I have my recorder that’ll prove I didn’t help you. It recorded the entire conversation.” You stated confidently and he just laughed.

“Oh you mean this recorder?” He flashed the little stick in his hand like it was a trophy. Your stomach dropped.

“When did you—“ before you could even finishing asking he stepped directly in front so close you could smell his breath. Getting hit with a waft of his cologne noting the musky and pine tree wood through your nostrils.

“You really should keep a better eye on your things darlin’.” Staring directly into your eyes, his voice stern but also playful. “You never know who may wanna get their hands on it.”

You’ve never felt such tension like this before. It was so thick you felt like you were swimming in it. Your breath coming out in little shudders as he continued to stare you down. His eyes almost sparkling as they looked into yours. You could have sworn you almost saw him lean in a little bit like he wanted to kiss you or something. And a part of you felt yourself leaning in a little bit as well.

His smell was intoxicating and you just wanted to wrap your arms around him and put your head in his neck, and memorize that smell forever. It was like a gravitational pull you didn’t even know was tugging you to him. You had to shake those thoughts out of your mind very quickly. There was no way you could be with someone like him.

Both of you waiting for the other to make a move or say something first. The only sounds you could hear were the crickets chirping outside. He had you right where he wanted you, and it pissed you off. It’s like you were eating out of the palm of his hands.

You really couldn’t believe he had you in this position. Trapped and defenseless. You felt like a bird trapped in a tiny cage, and Joel was your captor who had you for his own amusement. It was a horrible feeling as you stood there trying not to cry in front of him. Not wanting to come across that weak, but you had to do what you had to do in order to survive.

“I’m only meant to be here a week.” You uttered quietly ashamed you even said it. “What’s gonna happen when I have to go back?”

“It won’t take a week.” That was a little too confident. “Once you help me get what I need I’ll take it from there.”

As much as you wanted to ask questions you were mentally drained, and just wanted to go to sleep. “Fine.”

“Don’t look so upset.” He stepped back a tad bit. “You’re helping an innocent man go free.”

“Sure.” You said defeatedly.

A part of Joel felt bad for doing this to you, and could tell by the look on your face you wanted to just give up. He also hated the fact that a part of him wanted to keep you. This wasn’t meant to be part of his plan, but there was something about you he felt a sudden need and desire to be with you. Problem was he felt like he was the last person you’d want to be with.

As you started to walk away to your room, Joel started walking directly behind you. “Where are you going?”

“Going to bed.” He shrugged like it was no big deal.

“Yeah I don’t think so, not with me.” Shaking your head at him.

“Do you really think I’m going to let you sleep by yourself darlin’?” It came out like a question even though you both knew the answer to it. And your silence was good enough for him as a response. “Yeah that’s what I thought.”

“You’re not gonna rape me are you?” He almost looked offended you would even ask him that, like you had smacked him across the face.

“You may not think I’m the greatest person right now, but I don’t rape women.” His voice low and deep.

“You just murder them, right?” He almost said something as he opened his mouth and quickly shut it, as he held it back biting his tongue.

“Let’s go to bed, we have a lot of work to do tomorrow.” He groaned as he led you into the bedroom, flicking the lights on as you realized this was the room you always slept in.

Awkwardly standing there your arms hugging your body feeling suddenly vulnerable and exposed. Watching him as he kicked his shoes off, and pulled back the covers on the bed. Acting as if he’d been here several times, and was that comfortable making himself at home. It was strange watching him act so casual and care free.

Then he started to unbuckle his belt, and your eyes went wide in fear. Not sure where to look as your feet started dancing back and forth, a gasp slipping past your lip. Not sure if you wanted to say something or not.

“What are you doing?” He looked up at you as he continued to take his clothes off.

“Getting undressed.” Flinging his jeans across the room as he then went to peel his shirt off.

You hated to admit to yourself but Joel looked really good. His chest scattered with the right amount of salt and pepper chest hair that went down to his soft and slightly pudgy stomach. His arms and thighs were the perfect thickness and muscular tone. But the one thing you hated yourself for even glancing at was the bulge between his legs. Trying your hardest not to glance down, and he smirked in knowing.

Half expecting him to be covered in scars and tattoos when he was in fact the exact opposite. It didn’t make sense how someone like him would get caught up in all these brutal murders. He didn’t fit the description of a psychopathic killer, but that’s probably how he lured his victims in. With his good looks and southern charm.

“Alright let’s go to bed.” He spoke as he got under the covers, and adjusted the pillows to fit him.

You couldn’t find it in yourself to move. Your feet felt like they were glued to the floor, and your entire body was frozen. Just standing there blinking at him like he has just lost his mind. The last thing you wanted to do was get in the bed with him. The mere thought of lying next to him absolutely petrified you, but at the same time you wondered what his arms would feel like around you.

“I’m not getting in the bed with you.” You fought back and he just groaned in frustration. “You’re crazy if you think I’m going to share the bed with you.”

“I promise I’m not going to try anything.” His tone sincere and honest. “If I wanted to try anything with you I would have done it already.”

He did have a point there. “But I swear to god if you try something I’ll kick you so hard in the dick even your great grand kids will feel it.”

Even though you were meant to sound threatening Joel couldn’t help the chuckle that came out of his mouth. He found it adorable that you were trying to act tough, and that also told him that you were a fighter, and didn’t back down so easily to anyone.

“Easy tiger.” He joked as you timidly pulled back your side of the covers and cautiously got in.

It felt incredibly weird getting into the same bed with a convicted serial killer, and definitely not actually helping one. It was something that you would have never predicted in your future. Things like this just didn’t happen to girls like you. Life was meant to be simple and quiet. Not chaotic and wild.

Joel hadn’t been in a bed with another woman in a long time. It felt strange and foreign to him, but also very comforting at the same time. He glanced over at you and suddenly wished you two were in bed for many different reasons. The ache in his heart was beating at the thought of being wanted and loved by someone again.

“And don’t even think about trying to escape or call someone.” He warned you knowing it was something you would eventually think about attempting. “I’m a very light sleeper.”

“Good to know.” You said sarcastically as you turned to your side away from him hearing him laugh.

Now that you knew he needed your help you weren’t afraid to say things or bite back. It gave you a little sense of control back in your life, and you were going to hold onto that until you could figure out a way to get out of this situation. But until then you were going to have to put your brave face on and deal with it.

“Night darlin’.” Was the last thing you heard before you closed your eyes and thanked your lucky stars that sleep consumed you very quickly.

As you woke up the next morning the first thing to hit you was the sun streaming through the window. Some of it hitting your face like a flashlight, and it was enough to wake you up. Stretching your arms and legs with groan feeling your limbs waking up. The next thing you noticed was Joel was not in the bed.

Leaning up to look around the room, and seeing his clothes weren’t on the floor, and his side of the bed felt cold. Just thankful he kept his promise and didn’t try anything, but hating that you woke up and had to come back down to reality.

At one point during the middle of the night you could have sworn you felt an arm on your waist holding you. Or maybe you were just imagining it, and for some sick and twisted reason wishing that it happened.

Getting out of bed as your bare feet touched the cold wooden floor, you slowly walked out of the room and down the hall. You were listening for Joel and you couldn’t hear him. Glancing around the rooms for any sign of him, and when you didn’t see him you immediately thought he had left.

Did he really leave you? Was last night just a tactic to scare you from going to anyone? Surely he wouldn’t be that careless and stupid enough to just leave you. Maybe he did leave cause he realized how selfish it was to put you in this situation, and you could feel a smile creeping up on your face.

But that fantasy was short lived as he popped up from the kitchen with a coffee mug in his hand startling you. “Didn’t think I was still here did ya?”

“Wishful thinking.” You mumbled under your breath and he still heard you.

“Here,” handing you a mug filled with coffee and you hesitantly took it,” I made coffee. I figured you’re gonna need it today.”

“You think making me coffee is going to get me to trust you?” He smiled at your question cause he didn’t blame you for asking.

“I know nothing I say or do will ever make you trust me darlin’.” He huffed through his nose sadly.

“Now that I’m your hostage what’s the first thing you want to do?” Asking after a few minutes of silence.

“First I’m gonna make some calls to my brother and a friend.” Hearing his brother’s name you knew he was helping him. “And then we’re going to do some digging.”

“Won’t this get your brother and friend in trouble?” He just shook his head.

“I’m keeping their names out of it until I can get what I need, and make sure they stay protected.” You could tell that this was important to him, and that these people meant a lot to him as well.

“And what about me?” Asking as you took a sip of the hot beverage.

“Don’t worry darlin’, I’ll make sure they can’t touch you either.” He chuckled as he looked at you. A sense of warmth washing over you when he said that.

“Thanks I appreciate that.” Giving him a mocking smile. “How do I know you won’t still try to get me in trouble?”

“You’ll just have to trust me.” Was all he said, and something in you said to trust him.

Maybe he was really innocent. Between the look of determination on his face, and the way he wants to defend anyone that helps him was really convincing. You hated to think somebody who was convicted may actually be innocent of these crimes. It was hard to wrap your brain around that actually happening.

If Joel could prove himself right though, then you would do everything in your power to help him out. And make sure that you and him can bring the person responsible for these murders to justice.

But there was something that was bugging you. Something he said last night that you kept repeating over and over again in your head. The things he said about your boss. It felt strange like there was something more to it, and he didn’t know if he wanted to tell you or not. And a part of you felt terrible for thinking that your boss may not be a good person, but it was something you had to know.

“Joel,” you had said his name hesitantly and he immediately looked up at you,” the thing you said about my boss.”

He looked a little nervous now as you mentioned it. “Yeah.”

“What did you mean when you said he’s not who I think he is?” Joel hesitated whether he wanted to tell you everything right away not wanting to scare you off or upset you.

“Let’s just say he’s not a good guy.” He finally responded, but that wasn’t good enough of an explanation for you.

“No I want you to tell me what you meant.” Your voice stern and he felt it.

Joel sighed as he stood up and walked over to the couch and you quickly followed. He sat down and you kept your eyes on him the whole time waiting for what he had to say. He had this look on his face almost like he didn’t want to tell you. It was starting to worry you a little bit thinking it was the worst of the worst.

“Your boss and I we grew up together.” He said keeping your eyes on his face. “We were childhood best friends, and did everything together. Went to the same school, played the same sports and always hung out.”

“Okay that’s not so bad.” Not understanding what the big deal was, but he wasn’t finished.

“Well he also had a sister too. And when we got older she and I were secretly dating behind his back.” Joel continued as he took a deep breath. “But one day I fucked up and cheated on her and she had found out.”

Holy shit you weren’t expecting that to come from him. All you could do was sit there and nod as he spoke. Letting him get it all off his chest like he’s been wanting to for a long time.

“And it broke her heart, and her brother had somehow found out.” He looked down in his lap as he struggled to continue. “It destroyed her completely and she became deeply depressed, but before anything could be said or done her body was found in the car in the garage a few days later.”

Your hand instantly went up to your mouth, as you watched him tear up saying this out loud. Joel has struggled with this for a long time. Never being able to forgive himself or not even blame himself for her death. He carried it with him wherever he went.

“He never stopped blaming me for it.” Quickly wiping a tear that started to roll down your cheek.

As tragic as this story was it still didn’t explain why your boss was not the man you thought he was. It sounded more just like something personal to you really. What did he have to do with Joel being possibly framed?

“Okay but what does any of this have to do with my boss though?” Asking him confused as to why he was telling this story like it was important.

“Because ever since then he’s been trying to ruin my life. Stalking me whenever I went, and harassing the women I would go out with.” He was getting angry as he talked about it, and you didn’t expect that from your boss.

“What?” You asked not really sure if you heard him correctly or what he was trying to say.

“He would follow me and harass any woman I tried to date. Sending them threatening and creepy messages, and telling them what happened with his sister and that I killed her.” He shook his head at the thought and memory of it.

“Woah.” You whispered not really sure what to say.

“He did everything he could to ruin my life I couldn’t even keep a job because of what he was doing.” As much as you didn’t like to admit it you felt bad for him that he had to go through that, and go through it alone.

“I’m sorry.” Wanting to grab his hand but deciding not to. “So what does this still have to do with my boss?”

Before he spoke Joel fully turned to face you like he was trying to brace you for what he was going to say. Like he wanted you to truly believe everything he’s said. The look on his face you couldn’t explain, but he had a determined look on his face, and kind of almost excited too.

“I believe strongly that he’s the one who framed me for these murders.” He looked up at you and the look on his face was one of honesty.

“You believe that my boss framed you.” Repeating what he just said, and the words tasting bitter on your tongue. It just completely blew your mind what he was trying to accuse of him. Not seeing it at all, and not positive if Joel was trying to trick you into believing this and then putting this all on your boss to get him in trouble.

“Yes.” He nodded his head as he grabbed your hand and you quickly looked down to the movement. Not expecting his touch to be so soft and gentle, and in that moment both you and Joel felt something shift between you. “And you are going to help me prove it.”

[whorefordaveyork]

oooooooh this is getting JUICY 🫢😱

[ess-evo]

You Should Feel Lucky - Part IX

Tags: minors DNI, dub con/non con, stalking, stalker!joel, dirty talk, Stockholm Syndrome, threatening behavior, pet names (angel, sweetheart, darlin, etc.), praise & degradation, yelling, crying, violence, swearing, begging, obsession, name calling (slut, whore), pain, Joel is a sadist, rough sex, humiliation, degradation kink, multiple orgasms, oral sex (both m & f receiving), choking, slapping, hitting, abuse, piss, pissing inside someone, death threats, running away, chasing, spitting, spitting in mouth

WC: 7.7k

Summary: You're still trying to recover from your most recent encounter with Joel, but an errand you agree to run for a friend might end up bringing you closer to Joel than you've ever been before.

A/N: Thank you to @missadangel for her request that inspired this twisted chapter! She had such a good idea and I had so much fun writing it! As with all previous chapters, if you are upset by any dark themes or kinks, please read the tags carefully.

Divider: @/saradika-graphics

You heard it immediately - the distinct sound of shoes rubbing against the concrete of your tiny front porch. The blanket flew off you as you swung your legs out of the bed, rushing across the cold wooden floorboards to triple check that your front door was locked. It had become a whole ritual for you every night, checking every window and every door, and yet, it instilled almost no confidence in your safety. This was a routine you’d been doing for months, still occasionally waking up to Joel on top of you. You had no idea how he did it, and you’d wasted entirely too much time trying to figure it out.

The door was locked - both the bolt and the chain. You practically tiptoed to the front door, terrified of alerting anyone who may be on the other side that you were right there. Of course, as you took your second step, the floorboard betrayed you and a loud creak echoed through the quiet living room. 

You rushed to the door, your hands landing against the smooth wood as you lined your eye up with the peephole. Your heart was pounding and you could feel your fingers trembling against the door. 

No one was there. Toward the bottom of the peephole, you spotted what looked like a bag, but it was too close to the door to get a good look. You waited a moment, your fingers nervously rubbing against each other as you tried to decide what to do next. Just as you’d made up your mind to ignore whatever trap might be at your front door, you heard your phone chime in your room. 

good mornin’, was hopin’ to let you sleep, so i just left it by the front door - enjoy, angel

To say you were surprised would be an understatement. You had no idea he had the self-control to be this close to you without acting on it. It made you wonder if there had been more times he’d been near you without ever making contact. As unsettling as it was to have him break-in and force himself on you, there was something even more unsettling about the idea of him being around you without you ever knowing. 

After working through the chill that ran through your body from that thought, you made your way back to the front door, opening it carefully. No one seemed to be around, so you bent forward and picked up the brown paper bag. It was a medium-sized bag, stapled closed at the top, and fairly heavy. 

You promptly shut the door behind you and set the bag on your kitchen island. The familiar smell greeted you as soon as you opened it up. You bit your lip to stifle the smile threatening to take over your face. It drove you crazy when his thoughtful acts made you feel giddy. There were three stacked styrofoam takeout containers inside the bag. One of them had strawberry french toast, the other had crispy hashbrowns and toast, and the final one had egg whites scrambled with spinach and peppers. 

Of course, you’d never told him your go-to diner breakfast order, but you didn’t have to. You were starting to wonder if there was anything that Joel didn’t know about you. You were hungry and wanted to be able to eat, so you pushed away the thoughts concerning how Joel would have come about this information in the first place. 

After putting the leftovers away, you went back to your bedroom to retrieve your phone. You picked it up to text Joel, but saw a message that your friend had just sent. 

Hey, my trip was extended another day, but I have a dress on hold at the boutique we like, and today’s the last day…would you pretty please pick it up for me? I can call and give them a heads up!

You didn’t have any plans on leaving the house today, especially after realizing that Joel must have some sort of tracker on your car. You truly just needed to recover from the exhaustion and abuse of the past couple days, and the thought of catching up on sleep in your cozy bed sounded like exactly what you needed. 

Worrying your bottom lip between your teeth, you stared at the text from your friend, contemplating what to do. She knew about your history with depression, how it came in waves for you sometimes, and you were sure she’d understand if you told her that you couldn’t leave your bed. At the same time, you grew concerned that if you did do that, staying in your bed all day, that you might actually start to feel depressed. After all, it was a vicious cycle. 

Fuck, you murmured under your breath, texting her back and then grabbing your purse and shoes. 

The downtown area where the boutique was located was only a few blocks down the road. It was a mild day and the air carried the distinct scent of Fall. It lifted your spirits a bit, and you found yourself grateful for the fresh air and movement. 

Downtown was bustling with folks preparing for the Fall Festival. Orange and brown banners with leaves painted on them hung across the street, tethered to the historic brick buildings. Outside of the shops, people set up their decorations - mostly hay bales with pumpkins strategically placed about them. Storefront displays were equally festive with painted windows of scarecrows, leaves, and more pumpkins. 

You took your time getting to the boutique, exchanging smiles with a couple people who passed by. Still, your head was on a swivel, peering through the crowds and behind you to make sure that Joel was nowhere to be seen. You assumed the chances were slim, anyway. He likely thought you were still at home enjoying your breakfast. 

You spotted the boutique, turning on your heel to walk inside, when a dress in the display window caught your attention. Lingering for a moment outside the door, your eyes skimmed the dress, taking in just how beautiful it was. When you finally stepped inside, you exchanged a brief greeting with the employee at the counter before moving to the window to get a closer look at the outfit. Your fingers glided across the fabric, toying with the hem of the dress. You’d never before seen an item of clothing that seemed to be made for you. You could already picture yourself in it. 

The shop was quiet, and you let yourself fantasize for a moment about wearing the dress on a date. You pictured putting it on, accessorizing it with matching jewelry, curling your hair, putting on makeup, and eagerly arriving at the restaurant to meet your date. He would be agonizingly normal, but honestly, that sounded like a dream right about now. You’d have polite, albeit boring, conversation over absurdly priced mediocre food, and then end the night with a chaste kiss and a bland exchange of “I had a nice time” - “We should do this again.” A safe, dull date had never sounded so nice before. 

Your fingers untucked the price tag from the back of the dress, and you shuddered at the price. There was no way for you to justify a purchase like this, especially with your job potentially on the line. You hadn’t shown up to work the past few days, thinking that you were going to be moving, and you dreaded having to walk into your boss’s office to try to plead your case to him. 

After picking up your friend’s dress, you were back on the sidewalk, glancing around as you tried to decide what you wanted to do next. You felt a freedom that you hadn’t felt in some time, and the idea of going back to your questionably safe home felt awful. So, you headed in that direction, but took your time. Some of the other shops had their doors open, and you stepped inside, perusing their offerings as you let the early afternoon hours tick past.

When you arrived back at your home, nothing on the outside looked disturbed, but as soon as you crossed the threshold, you paused. Although you couldn’t put your finger on it right away, your gut told you that someone had been here, or was still here. 

“Joel?” you called tentatively, moving slowly into your house and setting the shopping bag down beside the kitchen island. The first thing you noticed was the lack of dishes in your sink. When you opened the cupboards, you saw your previously dirty dishes neatly organized. 

You turned around, and saw that the couple boxes you’d packed with your belongings and yet to put away were not there anymore. What the fuck, you muttered to yourself. You allowed yourself to stand frozen for a moment before finally walking into your bedroom. Immediately, you spotted some of the items that had been in the boxes set atop your dresser. Your laundry basket was now empty as well, and you pulled open a dresser drawer to see your clothes folded in organized piles. 

It wasn’t gratitude that filled you, but terror. You realized that this was something you might never escape, and that was one of the most horrific thoughts that you’d ever had cross your mind. 

“I can’t,” you cried to yourself, bringing your hands to your face and crying into your palms. “I can’t fucking do this.” The tears flowed freely and you sat at the end of your bed, allowing them all to drain out. 

You felt like you were losing yourself to this. Your decisions didn’t make sense anymore, your emotions didn’t make sense, and your physical sensations certainly didn’t make sense. Just as much as you tried to avoid Joel because of the terror he incited, parts of your body and mind craved him. 

You weren’t quite sure how much time had passed, but your mouth was dry and your throat raw from the crying. You gathered yourself and went to the kitchen for a drink of water. As you leaned against the kitchen counter with your glass in hand, raising it to your lips for a drink, you noticed a bag beside your couch. Apparently not catching your attention when you first walked in, it now sat there like a warning beacon. It had the same boutique logo printed on it as the bag you carried in, but this one had tufts of pink tissue paper sticking out of the top. 

Despite the pit in the bottom of your stomach, you set your glass down and walked over to the bag. You pulled it onto your lap as you took a seat on the worn couch. You’d been telling yourself for quite some time that you needed to get a new one, but just like most things, you couldn’t afford it. 

The tissue paper fell gently onto the floor as you pulled it out of the gift bag. Your fingers barely graced the fabric of the item in the bag before you recognized it. Your jaw dropped and your hand tremored slightly as you lifted up the dress that you’d just seen in the shop window. When tears pricked your eyes once more, you weren’t sure if it was joy or fear, likely both. The dress somehow looked even more beautiful than before. You set the bag down, but hesitated when you felt additional weight. Your fingers reached into it again, this time pulling out a square box. It appeared to be a jewelry box, and when you popped it open your eyes widened at the surprise. A necklace and earrings with gemstones that matched the dress. They were so beautiful and absolutely something that you would’ve picked out for yourself, but never been willing to pay for. 

You took the dress and jewelry into your bedroom. Undressing quickly, you stepped into the dress, pulling it up and awkwardly zipping it in the back. You smoothed your hands down the front of it, looking down at how it hugged your curves in all the right ways. You could feel the smile on your lips, despite the underlying concern as to how this gift ended up in your home. 

Just as you were preparing to turn around and grab the jewelry box from your dresser, you felt a presence behind you that caused you to freeze. The necklace lowered in front of your face until it rested on your chest, pulled just briefly as two large hands worked the clasp behind you. It slid down, resting in place perfectly. Fingers now brushed the side of your neck and your earlobe as one earring was secured, and then the other. You stood still, fear paralyzing you once more. His fingers brushed through the ends of your hair, untangling the ends and then sweeping your hair over your shoulders so that he could run his fingertips down the back of your neck and spine until they met the fabric of the dress. His hands now came to your waist, gently resting and then moving to the front, pressing against your stomach as he pulled you against his chest. His lips pressed to your ear over your hair, the warmth of his breath invading you as he spoke deeply, “Miss me?”

You raised your hands and your fingertips brushed over the necklace. “Joel, did you…get these for me?” You turned your head so you could see him. He had the faintest smile on his lips.

“I did. D’you like ‘em?” You both knew that you didn’t really need to answer the question. There was only a moment of hesitation before you moved your face toward his, allowing your lips to press against him. A quiet, surprised gasp escaped him before he pushed against you harder. He spun you around so you were facing him as his hands gripped your waist and he deepened the kiss. He groaned as he walked you back towards the bed. 

His hands moved up and down your body, scrunching the fabric of the dress as he manhandled you over it. “So fuckin’ beautiful,” he spoke against your mouth. Your arms looped over his shoulders and around his neck, your mouths smashed together as your tongues sought each other out over and over. Joel pressed his groin against your leg, allowing you to feel how rock hard he was. You pushed your body against his in response and Joel groaned. His hands became rougher for a moment, nearly bruising you as he held you in his clutch, but then he relaxed, not letting go of you but releasing the pressure. 

“Go look in the mirror, then come back here and lie down on the bed.” Your head was spinning and it took you a moment to steady yourself on your feet before you could walk toward the full-length mirror in the corner of the room.

When Joel was sure that you could walk steady on your own, he took a seat at the foot of the bed. You moved toward the mirror, your eyes widening slightly when you finally got a good look at yourself. As you suspected, the dress looked incredible on you. It flattered you in all the right ways, and the jewelry that Joel had picked out matched perfectly. The gems even brought out the color in your eyes. It wasn’t until you locked eyes with Joel in the mirror that you realized you’d been smiling at yourself. He sat on the bed with his legs spread and his arms outstretched behind him, propping him up. He was giving you a soft smile in the mirror, enjoying watching how happy you were.

“Joel,” you spoke softly, “I don’t know how to thank you.” Your back was still to him as you looked at him in the mirror. 

He shook his head, “Ain’t no need to. I didn’t do this for a thank you, I did it t’make you happy. ‘Cause you deserve it.”

You thought about your last interaction with him - how cruel he had been to you while you were locked in his basement. It was just a day ago that he held you captive and you feared he was going to take your life. And now…you were playing dress-up for him? The realization made you feel sick and you looked at him again through the mirror. 

“Is this…an apology? Do you feel bad?” The words came out clumsy and uncertain, but part of you felt a strange sense of hope that he would show genuine empathy and remorse. 

But instead, you saw Joel’s brow furrow. “Hm?” he questioned. “What d’you mean?”

His genuine confusion made you want to backtrack, but you wanted to follow this road to the end. You wanted to see if there was a real, feeling human underneath the sadistic, gruff exterior that Joel always showed. 

“For locking me in your basement…hurting me. Do you…feel…guilty about it?” Even though you had to force some of the words out, fear finally bubbling up, you maintained firm eye contact with Joel, as if you were studying him. 

He paused for a moment, looking away from you as though he was thinking before locking eyes once more. “No.” 

You waited for more of an explanation, or really anything other than just a simple word, but it didn’t come. Joel just watched you with a blank expression. You swallowed nervously as he stood up from the bed and crossed the floor to where you were standing. As he came up behind you, your survival instincts kicked in and you moved forward, ready to attempt an escape. 

His arms wrapped around you quickly, yanking you back hard against him. “Hey, shh, where d’ya think you’re goin’, hm?” He leaned down to kiss your cheek. “I said to go lie down on the bed…go.” He released you and slapped your ass. 

By the time you positioned yourself on the bed, he was already on top of you, kissing down your neck and then your chest. His hands came to the hem of your dress and he bunched it up, lifting it over your hips so that it pooled around your waist. Your hands gripped the sheets, not in arousal but in anxiety. 

His nose brushed against your panties as he lowered his face and inhaled your musk. When the scent hit him, he reached down to palm his bulge through his jeans. “Always so fuckin’ ready f’me, hm? My precious lil slut.” He kissed the inside of your thigh before giving it a gentle bite. You braced yourself for the pain of him biting down harder, but it didn’t come. Instead, he pulled down your panties, slipping them off your legs and letting them drop to the floor. 

Your legs were open, feet planted against the bed as your knees pointed up. Joel grabbed your calves one after the other, lifting up your legs and draping them over his shoulders. While he wasn’t being necessarily tender, there was a care he had right now that wasn’t usual for him. His mouth lowered to your cunt and he took no time to warm-up, immediately devouring you with his lips and tongue. 

He licked back and forth from your entrance to your clit, his lips suctioning again and again as he ate you hungrily. There was no set pace, no rhythm, no pattern to his maddening ministrations. He just ate. It was obscene, the way that he lapped and sucked. His nose bumped against your clit repeatedly, causing you to arch your back and buck against his face. 

As the tension began to wind throughout your body, Joel began talking against your cunt. It was muffled, but you could hear short phrases. “My slut…come f’me…show me…beautiful angel…fuckin’ drench me…scream f’me…needy lil thing…”

You looked down to see his salt-and-pepper curls bracketed by your thighs as you clenched around him. He was grinding his clothed cock against the bed, desperate for friction. The sight of his face buried in your pussy along with his desperate rutting had you coming undone. You screamed out as your orgasm hit you, your thighs tightening against the sides of his head impossibly hard, but he didn’t stop you. He continued working you through it, drinking from you greedily. 

“Oh my god,” you panted when your orgasm subsided and you started to drift back to reality. You smoothed down your dress, scooting back toward the headboard. The dark look in Joel’s eyes as he stood up from the bed caused your stomach to flip. He kept a laser focus on you as he undid his pants, slowly pushing them down and stepping out of them. His cock jutted out as he peeled off his shirt, dropping it to the ground before he climbed onto the bed. His biceps flexed and the muscles in his back rippled as he crawled up to you. 

“Joel…” you whispered, unsure of what was to come.

“Need you, angel,” he muttered as he hovered over you. He took in a deep breath as he reached out a hand to stroke down your face. “So pretty when you’re scared.”

Your mouth fell open, at a loss for what to say. The corner of Joel’s mouth lifted up in a smirk. “Cat got your tongue?”

“I- What are you going to do?” You could feel your lip quiver and you weren’t sure if you’d ever felt so small and pathetic as you did now.

“Gonna use you t’make myself feel good, angel…” His tongue came out to wet his bottom lip before he pinched your chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Thought you’d know that by now…”

It was as though you’d woken up. Everything came crashing down on you and you realized what an idiot you’d been this whole time. You questioned why you’d cancel your flight and give up on your move when it was the one thing that might actually save you from this terror. This man in front of you was sick and sadistic. He didn’t love you. He wasn’t capable of that. Your survival instincts took hold and you took your feet, kicking him hard in the stomach just as you twisted your body, and escaped his grasp. 

Joel fell sideways onto the bed, a loud grunt echoing in the room as he wrapped his arms around his torso. He looked up just in time to see you running out of the bedroom, your dress flowing behind you as you turned the corner. 

You were trying to think quickly. Assuming there was a tracker still somewhere on your car, you instead ran out the back door and across your unfenced yard. There were woods in back of the condo and you hoped to make it past the treeline before he spotted you. Your feet kicked the cool blades of grass as you ran, stomping them down and hoping desperately to not be seen. 

You glanced behind you just as you were about to enter the woods. A chill ran down your spine when you saw Joel just standing and watching you in the doorway. You hesitated, trying to process why he wasn’t chasing you. The moment stretched between the two of you before you saw a smile show up on his face. He took one step out the door and you turned and ran as fast as you could. 

Dodging trees and branches, you tried your hardest to not stumble, but your feet kept getting tangled in the twigs and leaves on the ground. The forest floor dug into your bare soles and you knew that there was only so far you could really run. 

Panting and out of breath, you dove behind a large log. When you peeked carefully above the oak, you couldn’t see him. You realized you’d never even heard running behind you. You waited another couple minutes. Nothing. Had he not chased you? 

A cool breeze blew through and you shivered. It was early evening now and it was only going to get colder outside. Fuck, you mouthed silently to yourself. You continued peering around, but there was nothing you could see. The forest was quiet. Standing up, you continued looking around. Still, nothing. You took one step away from the log and then, in the distance, Joel stepped out from behind a tree. He’d heard the twig snap when you moved. He was easily one hundred feet away from you, at least, but just the sight of him was startling. 

Turning on your heel, you started to run again. You took one quick glance behind you to see that Joel was just walking, and not even in a rushed pace. It was somehow even more terrifying than if he were to just run after you. Tears brimmed your lashes and you focused your vision back in front of you, running as fast as you could. 

The tears in your eyes clouded your sight, and you didn’t see a large branch stretching across the ground in front of you. Your foot caught on it, sending you flying into a pile of leaves. Your palms scraped against the ground and your dress was soiled from the dirt and foliage. You pushed yourself up, ready to get up and run again, but when you looked behind you, Joel was right there, just a few feet away. 

“No! Please!!” you begged, reaching your hands out toward him in a ‘stay away’ stance. 

Joel didn’t respond, just shook his head as he took his final steps toward you, reaching down and grabbing you roughly by the arm and hoisting you up. He pulled you closely to him so that he could lean down and gruffly whisper in your ear, “Fuckin’ naughty lil thing, hm?” He squeezed your arm harder and shook you before bringing your ear to his lips again. “Gonna have t’teach you a fuckin’ lesson.” 

You opened your mouth and started to scream, but only a single “help!” rang out before Joel released your arm and with that same hand smacked you hard across the face. You fell to the ground and he stepped over you, his feet on either side of your waist as he bent down and looked at you menacingly. “Yell for help one more time and it’s the last sound you’ll ever fuckin’ make. Ya hear me?” 

You nodded, tears freely flowing down your face as he picked you up again by the arm. You scrambled to your feet and let him lead you through the trees and back toward your home. The bottoms of your feet were cut up and you winced with each step, inhaling sharply through your teeth. 

“It’s what you deserve, fuckin’ whore.” Joel shoved you onto your living room floor once you were inside. He slammed the back door shut and locked it. As you laid on the floor, he went around your home, making sure all of your windows were locked and blinds closed. Your heart was pounding and you thought you might be sick. You looked down at your ruined dress. 

“I do all this shit for you, ‘n it’s still not enough.” He was standing in front of you, looking down at the mess you’d made of yourself. “The breakfast, the dress, the jewelry…” He walked away toward your kitchen, gesturing at the empty sink. “Clean your fuckin’ dishes. Do your laundry.” He moved to the fridge, yanking it open and revealing that it was fully stocked with all of your favorites. “Buy you fuckin’ groceries.” He left the kitchen to stalk back towards you, a menacing look plastered across his face. “Even eat your fuckin’ pussy. But then, when I need somethin’...it’s too much, hm?”

“Joel, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean-” You shook your head and cried, not even entirely sure what it was you wanted to say. 

“Didn’t mean what?” He reached down and grabbed the back of your head by your hair, tilting you up to look directly at him. “Spit it out.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” you said with a scared whimper. “I was just scared and thinking about everything…everything you’ve done.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Like what? Take care of you? Buy you shit? Protect you? Pleasure you?” He released your hair and you fell backwards. “You’re an ungrateful little slut.” He spat and it landed on your chest. You winced at the degradation. His chest was heaving and his fists were clenched at his side as he looked down at you. “Ya wanna see what being treated badly looks like?” He grabbed you by the back of the neck, hauling you up to your feet. Once you were standing, his grip on your neck shifted so he was holding you by the front of your neck, squeezing hard. Your air started to deplete and your hands flew to his wrist, grabbing and pulling in desperation. He walked you backwards until you were pressed against the living room wall. “Fuckin’ slut,” he spat out, pushing his hand forward even more so that your windpipe was completely compressed. He was breathing heavily through his nose, watching as your face started to change color. You tried kicking him but it was no use. “Could fuckin’ kill you right now,” he murmured before ripping his hand away and watching you fall to the floor. 

“Get the fuck up,” he shot out. 

Your vision was blurry and you were on your hands and knees, grabbing at your aching throat. 

“I said get the fuck up!” he yelled, reaching down and grabbing you by the back of the neck once more and guiding you quickly into the bathroom. 

He shoved you against the sink and your abdomen clashed painfully with the cold porcelain. “Look in the fucking mirror,” he commanded. 

When you did, you were horrified at what you saw. Your makeup had run down your face in ugly, black streaks. The lipstick you’d been wearing was smeared. Your eyes were red and your lips quivering. There was a red mark across your face from where he’d slapped you and the spit that had landed on your chest had created a disgusting trail down between your breasts. The dress you’d loved so much was stained with dirt and grass, and one of the straps was hanging on by a thread. Your arms showed scratches from your fall as well as bruises from Joel’s harsh grip. You looked like a filthy mess and you couldn’t stand the sight, so you averted your eyes down to the faucet.

“Tell me what you see.” His voice was calm again, but in an eerie way. 

You shook your head, still looking down at the silver fixture. Joel hit you on the back of your head, knocking you forward, and you had to reach your hand out quickly to stop yourself from colliding with the mirror. “Tell me what you fuckin’ see when you look at yourself.”

A loud sob tore through your body. You felt humiliated and scared and all you wanted was to be alone and away from Joel, ideally never seeing him again.

“I-” You tried to calm your crying so that you could get the words out. “I see…how awful I look.”

Joel paused. You glanced at him through the mirror and saw his face drop slightly. But within just a couple seconds, he was back to looking angry, glaring at you. 

“Remember how beautiful you looked just a bit ago? Ya had t’go and ruin that, huh? Couldn’t stomach bein’ good f’me for just a little bit. Had to ruin it. Ruin yourself.” 

The tears streamed down your face, only making you look uglier. 

“You’re a fuckin’ whore. Say it. In the mirror, now.” 

You made eye contact with yourself and your cheeks turned red with shame. “I’m a whore.” 

“And a filthy angel…still my angel…always my angel, okay?” Joel’s hand rubbed a soothing motion on your back. In a softer voice, he coached you, “Say it, darlin…say all of it.”

“I’m…I’m a whore and a filthy angel…your filthy angel.” Joel’s pupils grew wider as the words left your lips. 

“Goddamn.” He drew in a sharp breath. “Almost feel bad for what I’m about t’do to you.”

Your head whipped around to look at him, a flash of fear in your eyes as you started to ask, “Wha-” but you were cut off as he grabbed you by your bruised arm and yanked you into the bedroom. 

He tossed you onto the bed haphazardly and you let out a cry. “Please, Joel! Please! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” You watched in terror as he undressed himself slowly, his eyes not leaving your body. “I’ll do anything! Please. I’m so…I’m so fucking sorry!” 

“God,” Joel said, getting up onto the bed. “I love the sound of your begging, angel.”

He palmed the fabric of your dress, bunching it up in his hand. “On or off, sweetheart?” His eyes were soft, assessing. 

“Uh…” You were once again suffering whiplash from his constant mood changes. “On? Please.”

He nodded, “Alright, angel. On it is.” He took another deep breath, and there was a look in his eyes that you couldn’t identify. You’d seen it before, briefly, but still had no idea what it meant. 

“This, uh…” His fingers played with the neckline of your dress. “This isn’t for fun, okay? This is a lesson…a punishment. The things I’m gonna do to you…I…I know you’re not gonna like them, okay? Well, at least most of them. I’m feelin’...generous, though. So I’ll let you have one limit. What do you want it t’be?” 

Your heart was beating impossibly quick. “What…what do you mean, Joel?”

“You can tell me one thing right now that you absolutely don’t want, ‘n I’ll respect it.” His hand was now mindlessly groping your breasts. 

You tried thinking quickly. It was hard to come up with something when you had no idea what he had planned. Horrible, awful things came into your mind that you’d never want him to do, but you weren’t sure what to pick. You decided to go with something that he had threatened you with before. 

“Anal.”

Joel closed his eyes, his head dropping in disappointment. “Shoulda put extra parameters around it, huh? Told ya that that was a sure thing…really fuckin’ with my plans here, angel. But okay. A deal’s a deal…no anal, today.”

You sighed in relief and Joel gave you a twisted smile. “Ready?”

You didn’t answer him, but you didn’t need to, because within that same moment, he grabbed you by your waist and flipped you around so that you were face down on the mattress. “Gotta get my dick wet ‘fore we do anythin’ else, angel…fuckin’ need t’feel you wrapped around me.”

His fingers searched between your legs, rubbing and prodding in all the right places until he got you wet to his liking. You whined as you felt him entering you, stretching your hole around his thick cock as he pushed in. “Oh fuck yeah…so good f’me.” He kissed the back of your shoulder before pulling almost all the way out and then thrusting in sharply. You let out a small yelp, eliciting a chuckle from him. He continued that pattern, slow but brutal. His groans grew louder with each thrust and his hands clutched the sheets as he held himself over you, thrusting into your wet heat. 

Your body was pressed into the mattress, completely prone underneath him. Your head was turned to the side, and as he continued fucking into you, one of his hands came to the side of your face pushing down. “Fuckin’ take it like the good whore y’are…wet lil thing…” He picked up the pace. “Gonna ruin you, angel…fuckin’ wreck you.” He moved his hand to between your shoulder blades, bearing all his weight on you while he lifted his other hand to bring it down against your ass. The loud slap filled the room but you couldn’t scream because of his weight on you. You could hardly breathe. Joel noticed. 

“Strugglin’ there, angel? Already?” He slapped your ass again, his other hand still pressed firmly against you. “Don’t die on me now…gonna come either way.” His words made your blood run cold. 

He finally removed his weight from you, pushing off of you entirely as he shuffled off the bed. “C’mere, now. Quickly.” He was standing beside the bed, stroking his cock. 

It took dedicated energy for you to move from the bed to standing in front of him. Joel wrapped his hand around your throat. “Open your mouth ‘n stick out your tongue.” 

You knew what he was going to do and you felt a pang of nausea as you rolled your tongue out for him, keeping your mouth as wide as you could. As expected, he spat into your mouth then lowered you to the floor. You could feel his saliva pooling with your own as he aligned your face with his cock. You were grateful for the soft rug underneath your knees, knowing that Joel wouldn’t have cared if it was just a hardwood floor. 

The head of his cock brushed against your tongue as he slid it into your mouth. “Stay open,” he commanded. He continued pushing in slowly, allowing your throat to adjust to the intrusion. Your hands came to his thighs, anchoring yourself. “No,” he chastised, “behind your back…like the good slut you are.”

You did what he said, and it made it more difficult to tolerate his thick cock pushing down your throat. Your eyes watered and Joel smiled. “Thass it, show me them pretty tears, hm?” You gagged as he pressed all the way in. “Relax your throat, darlin’...c’mon now.” You tried, you really did, but it was too much and you tried pulling away. “Fuckin’ stop,” Joel said, clearly annoyed. You released your hands from behind your back and shoved hard against his thighs. His cock popped out of your mouth and he took a step back. 

“Guess we gotta try somethin’ else, hm?” He looked down at you and you shrunk under his gaze. “On the bed, on your back.” 

As soon as you laid down, he was on you. His knees pinned your arms down as he straddled your head. “Suck,” he said, lowering his balls onto your mouth. 

You opened your mouth, immediately smelling his musk and feeling the weight of his heavy balls press against your tongue. You licked them before sucking them into your mouth, your eyes peering up at him as he began to stroke his cock. “Mm…doin’ so good for me, angel…jus’ like that…suck my balls like your fuckin’ life depends on it.” 

You sucked harder, feeling the soft skin toward the back of your throat as you hollowed your cheeks. You moaned around him and he started fisting his cock quicker. “Fuck yeah, jus’ like that, angel…my good lil whore.” His signature mixture of degradation and praise was creating a rush of arousal and you clenched your thighs together. 

He lifted his hips to remove his balls from your mouth, tilting his cock down toward your waiting mouth. “Good girl…” He moaned as his cock once more slipped onto the velvety wetness of your tongue. “Now, you’re gonna fuckin’ take what I give you.” 

It was brutal. He shoved his cock all the way down your throat. Your hands clenched and unclenched, desperate to try and grab onto anything, but because of his knees pressing against your arms, there was nothing you could do. Your eyes were blown wide with fear as you struggled to breathe around his massive cock buried in your throat. He began fucking you, his hands grabbing hold of your hair so that he was practically using your head as a sex toy. 

“Oh fuck…oh shit…” He ignored your retching sounds as he continued to use you. “Feel so good, angel.” 

When he finally pulled out, it wasn’t to spare you, it was so that he didn’t finish too soon. His cock was red and throbbing and he squeezed it at the base to try and stave off his orgasm. He lifted his body off of you and watched you with fascination as you sputtered and choked on the air. Your hands grabbed at your throat as you tried to control your breathing. 

“That good, huh?” Joel said with a wink. 

You had to bite your tongue to not yell angry remarks at him. Your throat hurt something awful, and the exhaustion was starting to get to you. Closing your eyes, you laid back on the bed, your hands still massaging your neck. 

“Mm…gettin’ sleep?” Joel asked. “We’re not done yet, angel…”

You didn’t respond. You knew there was no point. Your jaw tensed when you felt Joel moving his body on top of yours. 

“Hey,” he said gently, “can ya look at me?”

You opened your eyes to see him hovering above you. He leaned down, planting his lips on yours and giving you a tender kiss. “We’re almost done, hm? I just…I gotta make sure that ya know what ya did was wrong…disobeyin’ me ‘n runnin’ away like that…I gotta…make sure y’don’t forget.” 

For whatever reason, you nodded. Maybe it was his soothing tone, or the gentle kiss, or just the desperation to be done with this, but you understood. 

“Hands and knees,” Joel demanded, his voice cold again. 

Your body trembled slightly and Joel steadied you as he lined himself up with your wet cunt. He pushed in, the stretch somehow still breathtaking as he bottomed out inside of you. “Fuck, you always feel so incredible, angel. So perfect.” 

You lowered your head, allowing the upper part of your body to rest on the bed as Joel began fucking into you with your hips in the air. His pace was quick but you didn’t mind. You figured it would all be over with soon. Your thoughts were getting cloudy and you felt yourself zoning out until Joel’s fingers found your clit, rubbing fast little circles. 

“Ohhh,” you whimpered, pressing back into him. 

“There she is,” Joel cooed, “there’s my girl…thought I was losin’ ya for a second, angel.” 

He fucked into you faster, still applying pressure to your throbbing clit. “Come for me, huh? ‘N then this’ll all be over soon…” His voice shifted toward the end, as though he was lying. 

Still, you allowed your body to give into the pleasure, moaning loudly as your orgasm took hold. Joel groaned in approval as he felt you clench around him. 

When your orgasm subsided, Joel slowed his pace. You had anticipated him fucking you even harder, as he usually did, so that he could chase his own release. Uncertainty grew into a hard pit in your stomach and your body started to tense. 

“Fuck,” Joel muttered, “gotta take a piss.”

You had to try to not roll your eyes in irritation. You just wanted this to be over with, and him taking a break to go to the bathroom was only going to drag this on longer. 

“Do ya mind?” he asked, still slowly thrusting into you. 

You sighed and answered, “No, that’s fine.” Pushing up on your hands, you went to move away from him, but his grip on your hips tightened as he held you flush against him. “Wh-what are you doing?” 

You looked over your shoulder to see a sick smile on his face. His hands squeezed you, making sure that you couldn’t get away. 

“Figure this is as good a place as any, hm?” Joel shuffled backwards, pulling you with him so that your feet met the rug and your upper body was still bent over the bed. “Don’t wanna get your nice bed all messy though.” 

“Joel! I don’t-” But before the sentence could come out, you felt it. The rush of hot liquid flooding your cunt. 

Joel groaned, “Ahhh.” Relief evident on his face as he emptied his bladder inside of you. You could feel his piss hitting your walls, his cock brushing your cervix as he was buried so deep in your pussy. He continued pissing, and it began to trickle out, running down your legs and onto the floor beneath you. 

When he finally stopped, he pulled his cock out, watching the rush of piss that followed. “Goddamn that’s hot,” he mumbled, watching how his golden liquid slipped out of your pussy and ran down your folds. 

“God,” he groaned deeply, thrusting hard inside of you, knocking the air out of your lungs. “I gotta fuckin’ come.” 

He railed into you, possibly harder than ever before. It only took about thirty seconds before he stilled, buried to the hilt as he moaned, “Ohhhh fuck yes, angel…take my fuckin’ load…take all of it…” 

You were still in shock from what he had just done. Your brain was a hazy mess and you felt disgusting. You stayed draped over the bed as Joel brought a wet washcloth and a dry washcloth, cleaning you up as well as he could. 

“Probably gonna need a shower,” he said with a chuckle, helping you up into bed. “Gonna take one now?”

You shook your head no. “Too tired,” you mumbled. He gave a nod and then bent down to kiss your forehead. 

“Ya did good, angel. I’ll see you around, mkay?” He finished pulling on his pants and moved toward the bedroom doorway. 

“Joel?” Your voice cracked as you spoke.

He turned around, an eyebrow raised as he looked at you, naked and disheveled in your bed. Your eyes were half-lidded, exhaustion rapidly taking hold. 

“Can you…please stay? I-I want to be held.” Even you were surprised to hear the words leave your lips, but you couldn’t deny that it was true. After the abuse and degradation, you felt like a shell of yourself, unsure if you’d even be able to get out of bed and shower. 

Joel paused. He continued looking at you for a moment, still as a statue. There was a contemplative look in his eyes, along with that other emotion you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Then, as if a switch flipped, his expression was cold and removed as he said, “Don’t forget to eat something.” He then turned and walked out of the bedroom. You listened until you heard the front door shut and then cried yourself to sleep.

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[whorefordaveyork]

I’m unwell.. 🥵🫢🔥 the dress, the hunting in the forest and him being so SCAAAARYYYYYY got me on a chokehold!!!! the way he entered into this chapter made me have goosebumps!!!!!

tbh I was kinda sad about the dress and the ending.. YES I KNOW HE IS A SADIST SICKO BUUUUUT still.. leaving his ”angel” like that broke my heart a lil’ bit regardless 🥺🖤

[ess-evo]

You Should Feel Lucky - Part VIII

Tags: minors DNI, dub con/non con, stalking, stalker!joel, dirty talk, pussy slapping, overstimulation, edging, forced rimming, Stockholm Syndrome, titty fucking, threatening behavior, pet names (angel, sweetheart, darlin, etc.), praise & degradation, yelling, crying, violence, swearing, begging, obsession, name calling (slut), pain, Joel is a sadist, rough sex, humiliation, degradation kink, masturbation, multiple orgasms

WC: 7.5k

Summary: You wake up in Joel's basement, and whether you leave or stay is entirely up to you.

A/N: Thank you all for the inspiration for this depraved story! Parts of this were inspired by @time-for-my-weekly-spanking (this ask) as well as this ask. 🖤

Divider: @/saradika-graphics

You woke up with a raging headache. The veins in your head throbbed along with your heartbeat - steady, heavy. It was cold and dark, aside from a single hanging lightbulb above your head. It glowed yellow in the basement, illuminating you and the small circle of cement underneath you. 

It didn’t take long for the fear to settle in again. The hum of the basement furnace accompanied your screams as you yelled, “Joel! Joel!! Joel!! Jo-” You abruptly cut yourself off when you realized who you were calling for. Your stomach churned when you tried to make sense of why your instinct would be to yell for the person who had gotten you into this mess in the first place. 

A tear brimmed your lower lash as you corrected yourself. “Help! HELP!!”

Another light clicked on across the dim basement. Joel sat on a stool beside what looked to be a workbench. His hair was disheveled and there were bags underneath both his eyes. He looked truly unwell. His lips curled up ever slightly as he spoke across the room to you, “What seems t’be the matter, sweet thing?”

“You’re insane,” you gritted out. “You need help.” 

Joel raised his eyebrows and shook his head, “Well, I don’t know, angel. Looks t’me like you’re the one who needs help right now.” He had to fight off a chuckle as he saw the look that fell upon your face. You were, once again, astounded by his audacity and having trouble finding the right words to convey to him just how much you despised him.

He raised his hand to wipe it down his face, pinching the bridge of his nose as he did so. You noticed his hand was trembling. 

“What-what’s wrong with you?,” you asked, mostly out of curiosity rather than concern. 

Joel sighed, reaching back on the workbench to pick up a mug, bringing it to his lips and taking a healthy drink. After licking his lips clean he looked over at you, utter exhaustion written all over his face. “You,” he said. “You are what’s wrong with me.”

“Then just let me go, Joel. It’s easy. Just let me leave. And I won’t-” you were cut off when you saw the anger flash across his eyes. 

“You think it’s easy? You think I want to do this?” He stood up from the stool. His last words rang in your head. Of course you thought he wanted to do this…why else would he be doing it?

He started to walk toward you and your head had to tilt up so you could still see his face. Your ankles were chained to the floor and your hands tied behind your back. You had been leaning against the brick wall, but sat up straighter as he approached you.

“Sweetheart, if this was a choice…I wouldn’t be feelin’ any of this at all.” He crouched down so that he was eye level with you. “How long is it gonna take your pretty lil brain to understand that, hm?” He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, a true smile ghosting his lips as he studied your face. 

“I don’t understand what you’re saying,” you spoke softly. 

He gave an empathetic nod and replied, “I know, I know…but you will.” His hand lingered on the side of your face before he dropped it and stood back up. 

“I just want to go home, please, Joel. Let me go home.” You weren’t beyond begging at this point. The threat of the situation was obvious, and your survival instincts had kicked in.

“That’s up t’you, sweet thing.” Joel gave a tug on the chains around your ankles, as if he needed to make sure they were doing their job. “If you can convince me that you’re not actually goin’ t’leave…then I can let you go home.”

“What…what do you mean?,” you stammered.

A sinister look flashed across his face accompanied by a tone of disappointment as he said, “I know all about your move, angel. Tennessee, huh?” He began to walk around the basement, coming in and out of vision as he strolled through the dark areas before coming back into the light. “That’s a far way from Texas, don’t ya think?” The basement was so black that at times you only knew where he was based on where his voice was coming from. “And you don’t even have a job there yet…ain’t even applied anywhere. That’s not very good planning…is it, angel? What could possibly have you in that much of a hurry, hm? It’s almost like…” He came back into the light, his features dark as he looked down at you. “You’re runnin’ from somethin’.”

Your breath was shaky as you drew it in. You didn’t know what to say other than to shake your head and hope that he would take pity on you in some way. 

“Oh, it’s okay,” he said with forced sympathy. “We all make mistakes sometimes. Hell, even I do,” he gave a sick chuckle. “I had ya on too long of a leash. Didn’t account for just how dumb ya are. That’s my fault, angel.” He shook his head and clicked his tongue. “Won’t make that mistake again, though. Not gonna let another one of you get away.” He tugged on the chain once more. His last sentence replayed in your head and you had to bite your tongue to not say something. 

“Can’t have a pretty thing like you thinkin’ that you can make your own decisions…that’s just too overwhelming for such a needy lil thing, huh? Had your sweet brain thinkin’ that it knew stuff…” He shook his head again, looking down at the ground before patting his hands against his jeans and redirecting his eyes to you. “But! That’s alright. I can fix my mistakes. And so can you.” 

“H-how?,” you asked sincerely. You desperately wanted to do whatever it took to get out of this treacherous situation.

“Just convince me.” His tone had a gleeful quality that caused your stomach to knot. “It’s easy, jus’ like you said. I’ll unchain you, let you get in your lil car and drive on home…as soon as I’m fully convinced that you aren’t gonna try anything dumb. Like move.” 

“How do I-” He cut you off.

Raising his hand, he answered you sharply, “No. That’s for you to figure out.” 

He walked into the dark again and your eyes frantically searched the space, waiting to see where he was going to pop up. It was like a sick game of whack-a-mole, only you didn’t have a mallet and the mole was your stalker. 

When he appeared in front of you again, he had a folded up blanket that he draped over your legs. “In case ya get cold,” he muttered under his breath. 

“I’m thirsty, Joel,” you tried to say as pathetically as possible. You thought that maybe if you appealed to his caring side you could make him feel bad enough to release you.

“Mhhm,” he replied mindlessly, clearly not swayed by your whiny tone. He nodded his head toward the very edge of the light, and you had to squint to see an empty cup. Your eyes continued searching until you noticed a spigot on the wall above the cup, as well as a small drain underneath it. There was also a small dish with a couple of pills in it. 

“Take those,” he commanded. “I’m sure you’ve got a headache.” He saw the hesitation in your features and continued, “I promise, this time they’re ibuprofen.” 

You weren’t entirely sure why, but you believed him. 

He pulled your body close to him and wrapped his arms around you. At first you thought he was going for a hug until you felt him tugging at the rope around your wrists, letting it fall to the floor. You noticed his musk was headier than usual, like he was in need of a shower.

“And if you need to use the restroom,” he swallowed then nodded his head toward the drain in the floor. Your stomach churned once again and you moved your gaze to the ground in front of you, not wanting to acknowledge what he had just said.

He retreated out of the light and you listened to him climb the rickety wooden stairs up and out of the basement you were chained in. When you heard the door shut, you crawled over to the small ceramic dish, fishing out the two oblong pills and popping them in your mouth as you filled the blue plastic cup with water from the spout. It made a funny noise as it came out, like it hadn’t been turned on in some time. You swallowed the pills down quickly, chugging the rest of the glass of water to satisfy your parched throat. 

You shuffled out of the circle of light, squinting your eyes to see if there was anything else in the basement you could identify. The cement was cold under your hands and harsh on your knees. The room smelled of mildew and laundry detergent and there were no windows, so you couldn’t make out if it was day or night. Finally giving up, you moved back into your spotlight and settled down on the blanket. You moved half of it underneath you and wrapped the other part of it over your legs. And then you waited. 

—

“Darlin’?” Joel’s feet pressed firmly against the steps as he descended. “Angel?”

You refused to acknowledge him. Sitting with your knees brought up to your chest and your forehead resting on them, you closed your eyes and fantasized that you were anywhere but here. You were hungry, tired, and scared, and all you wanted was to go home. Still, you knew that you had to find a way to convince Joel that you weren’t going to move, even though you knew full well that that was still your plan if you ever found a way out of here.

“There you are,” he said as he stepped off the final stair and moved towards you. You couldn’t see him, but could hear him make his way closer to you. You had to fight to not roll your eyes, knowing that he could see you clearly even though he was in the shadows. 

“So,” he said as he pulled a stool into the light, sitting beside you. “Anything you have to say?” 

You spoke the words as if they were scripted. “Yes, if you unchain me and let me go home, I will stay there. I will not move to Tennessee. Please let me go.”

Joel’s face dropped, looking more disgruntled than ever as he listened to your words. “Angel, answer me. How stupid do you think I am?” 

“I don’t think you’re stupid, Joel. I think you’re cruel.” The words flowed out before you could even decide whether they were a good idea or not. 

“I didn’t ask you for your opinion, sweetheart. Just the answer t’my question. Anyway, if this is the amount of thought and effort you’re goin’ t’put into this, I can promise you that you will be here a very long time.” He stood up off the stool, causing it to squeak against the floor as it pushed backwards. He sighed then asked, “Are ya hungry?” 

You couldn’t deny the empty cavern that was your stomach. You weren’t sure how long you had been down here, but had to guess that it was more than just a few hours. “Yes,” you replied meekly, perturbed that your human needs were getting in the way of your defiance.

“Okay then, I’ll go get us some food. Not really in the mood t’be cookin’.” He rubbed at his eyes and once again you were noticing just how tired he looked. “Any requests, angel?”

Part of you felt bad making a request, as though you hadn’t earned it, and you weren’t quite sure where that was coming from. The other part, though, felt entitled to make any sort of request from him, knowing the torment he had and would continue to put you through. 

“Um, Chinese?” 

Joel smiled. His eyes looked at you with a warmth you hadn’t seen from him since you’d been down here. “Sounds delicious.”

“I usually get-”

“Shrimp in lobster sauce, extra peas, and crab rangoon,” he stated matter-of-factly before giving you a wink and exiting the light once more. 

When you heard the distinct sound of an engine starting and then the crunch of gravel, you started shouting again, hoping that anyone might hear you. It seemed to be useless, so you gave up after a couple minutes, choosing instead to try and plot how you were going to get out of here. 

You weren’t quite so cold anymore, the blanket doing its job in warming you up, but you started to notice how full your bladder was. You hadn’t used the bathroom since you got here, and the pressure was quickly mounting. 

Trying to take advantage of him being gone, you shoved your pants and underwear down around your ankles, pooling around the chains, and then squatted over the drain. You could only imagine how pathetic you looked as your urine trickled out of you, careful to not push too much so that it didn’t get on your clothes. The relief was immediate and you sighed, cleaning yourself up as best you could and pulling your clothes back on. You’d never felt so degraded before. 

As you waited for Joel to return, the pain pills kicked in and your headache was fading. You’d drank two glasses of water and were starting to feel human again. With your newfound energy, you went back to brainstorming how you could convince Joel that you weren’t going to leave. The statement alone clearly wasn’t enough, and you figured you had to find some way to show him some loyalty. 

The time for reflection was not good for your mental health. You continued to replay just how stupid you had been to go searching for him. What if all of this could have been avoided by you just staying home? This wasn’t like you. You were typically a reasonable and responsible person. You’d always done well in school, had good attendance, got a solid job, almost never showed up late to work, made good decisions…What had gotten into you? 

It was Joel. Just as you had seemingly done something to his psyche, he had apparently done the same to you. Why else would you choose to put yourself in a dangerous situation? His attention was like a drug specifically crafted for your body. And you chose to put up with the awful side effects just to get that rush. And then, when you were desperate and needed it most, it was always there, just as intoxicating as before. 

Your stomach growled as you heard the crunch of the gravel as Joel pulled back up to the cabin. You were eager to get some food in your belly and then work as hard as you needed to to get the hell out of here.

You could hear him plating the food upstairs, imagining him nonchalantly scooping the rice and shrimp onto a plate, as though he didn’t have a woman captive in his basement. It was sickening how domestic it felt even in chains.

“Here ya go, angel,” Joel announced as he descended the stairs with two plates in hand. “Sorry it took a bit, they were pretty busy in there.” He set the plate in front of you, and it looked delicious. The rice was in a circle on your plate with the shrimp in lobster sauce poured over top, along with a drizzle of soy sauce. The golden, crispy crab rangoons sat at the edge of the plate with a small pool of sweet and sour sauce beside them. 

“Thank you,” you spoke sincerely, smiling as you picked up the fork from the plate and took your first bite. 

“Of course,” Joel responded, already chewing his sesame chicken. He watched you as you ate, only deviating his eyes briefly to scoop up his own food. You ate in silence, but it felt alright, welcomed, even, so that you could continue to gather your thoughts. 

When both your plates were empty, Joel dug in his jacket pocket, pulling out two fortune cookies. He held one up to you with raised eyebrows, an offering. You took it silently, crinkling the plastic as you opened it and then breaking the cookie in two. You popped half of it in your mouth before reading the fortune. 

“What are you doin’?,” Joel asked. 

The cookie crunched in your mouth, the sweet flavor coating your tongue as you chewed and responded, “Eating my cookie…”

“Without lookin’ at the fortune?” 

“If you read the fortune before eating the cookie, it won’t come true,” you said with conviction.

“No…what if you don’t want it to come true? You gotta read it first, ‘n if you like it, then you eat the cookie, if you don’t…then you don’t,” he argued. 

“Well, that doesn’t make any sense,” you said with a slight chuckle. “And why wouldn’t you want it to come true anyway? It’s not like they put bad fortunes in here.”

“Maybe you just haven’t gotten a bad one,” Joel answered with a shrug of his shoulders. 

“You’re ridiculous.” The two of you laughed as you continued eating your cookie. 

“What does yours say?,” you asked, noticing that he read it and then popped the full cookie in his mouth.

Joel turned his fortune around for you to read: All your hard work will pay off

“So you liked that one, huh?” 

Joel tilted his head to the side as he said, “Well, I like t’think it’s true. What about yours?”

You unfurled the fortune from your hand: It’s never too late to change your fate

Joel locked eyes with you. The uncertainty of the situation came back into focus as silence fell upon the two of you once more. You took a sip of water, avoiding Joel’s intimidating gaze as you leaned back against the wall, covering yourself with the blanket and preparing for whatever it was you had to do. 

You opened your mouth to speak, but Joel beat you to it. “Want a drink?” He stood up from the chair. “I’m gonna go get us a couple beers.” 

Your lips were still parted as you watched him retreat. It felt like such an abrupt transition and you weren’t sure what to make of it. There was something different about Joel, and not being able to put your finger on it was unsettling. He seemed more subdued, less violent than usual. 

He came back with two cold beers, handing you the opened bottle and then sitting on the floor across from you. “D’you like beer?,” he asked casually, as though he was making small talk.

“Um, sometimes. Usually just when it’s nice out and I’m sitting outside.” You didn’t mind answering his questions, but they were rare. You wondered if he preferred to find out this sort of information on his own. 

“Mm, I was wonderin’,” Joel muttered mostly to himself. He leaned the neck of his beer bottle toward you and you tapped the neck of yours against his. The clink echoed in the bare room. “Cheers,” Joel said, looking at the wall as he took a swig from his bottle.

The beer caused you to pucker, not prepared for the strong malt flavor. It was refreshing though, and you weren’t about to turn down a buzz to help you manage your nervous emotions. 

“Why haven’t you left your job yet?” Joel was taking large sips of his beer, already halfway done with it. He wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his shirt, holding the bottle down between his thighs as he looked at you for a reply.

“I don’t know…it pays.” You followed it up with a shrug of your shoulders and Joel narrowed his eyes at you. 

“You hate it though.”

“Yeah, well…it’s not quite that easy. You can’t just leave something because you don’t like it.” 

“Sure ya can.” 

“Not really. Not without consequences. Job searching is hard, and I have security there. And-”

“Sounds like a buncha excuses t’me,” he remarked, taking another swig of his drink. The little remaining liquid sloshed at the bottom of the bottle.

You sighed, taking a drink yourself and letting the conversation come to a lull. You didn’t have the energy to argue with him, and it seemed that neither did he. The beers were finished in contemplative silence. It seemed Joel was deep in thought, his eyes still falling to you every time you raised the bottle to your lips. And you were still trying to sort out how you were going to get out of this mess. You thought that you might have it figured out.

“I’m ready,” you stated, looking at him again. He sat half in the light, half in the shadows. His gaze everpresent on your face. 

“For?,” he asked with an even tone.

“To do whatever it is that you need me to do. I…I don’t know what I need to say to convince you, I only know how I feel. And I want you…to test me in whatever way you want, so that you can feel fully assured.” You had to work hard to not have your fear rise to the surface. At a loss for a better idea, you hoped that you wouldn’t regret the words you were saying to him. 

Joel sat motionless and expressionless for a moment, continuing to stare at you. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you waited for his response. A smile slowly spread across his face. It was foreboding, to say the least.

“Okay, angel. Proud of you.” He stood up, bending down to collect the dishes before walking to the stairs and looking over his shoulder as he said, “I’ll be right back.”

You weren’t sure how much time had passed, it had to have only been five or so minutes, but it may as well have been hours. Your heart was racing and the palms of your hands were gathering sweat that you wiped onto the blanket in your lap. Part of you was relieved when you heard the basement door open again, ready to get this all over with. 

Joel appeared empty-handed as he approached you, kneeling down at your feet and unlocking your chains with a key he pulled from his jacket pocket. “Let’s get you outta these, huh?”

“Thanks,” you answered meekly as you rubbed the red marks on your ankles. The chains hadn’t been on there tight, but they were heavy and pressed against your skin. 

“Get undressed.” He spoke the words so casually, not in a commanding way at all, that it took you a moment to process that he was telling you to do something. He seemed patient as he stood above you, watching you push yourself to your feet and start to peel off your clothes. 

You stole a glance at his crotch as you bent forward to step out of your underwear and were surprised to see that he didn’t appear to be hard at all. 

He picked up the blanket, folding it over once then laying it on the ground. You lost sight of him again when he stepped into the shadows. It was somewhat humiliating, standing in the open room completely nude with a light shining down on you. When Joel stepped into the light, he had a long metal bar in his hands with chains hanging off each end. 

“Lay down,” he said, this time in a more commanding tone, but still not as much as usual. 

You moved onto your back, grateful for the cushion of the blanket underneath you. “This,” Joel narrated as you felt chains, lighter ones than before, being secured around your ankles again, “is a spreader bar. It’s gonna keep your legs open f’me.” You looked at him, anticipating another one of his sick winks, and instead were just met with his tired eyes as he glazed over your body, reaching up for your hands. He took the chains from before, making them shorter as he wrapped them around your wrists, not allowing hardly any movement at all. You were completely spread eagle now, your arms and legs sticking out, making you completely vulnerable to him and anything he might choose to do to you. 

Joel sat opposite you with his knees pressed against the spreader bar. “Now, I know you’re not being honest with me…”

“I am. I promise. I-” Your rebuttal was swiftly cut off when Joel’s hand slapped against your thigh, leaving a red mark in its wake. 

“Don’t fuckin’ argue with me. Got that?” There was a deep crease between his eyebrows now as he looked at you. 

Before you could comply, another slap landed on your other thigh, even harsher than the one before it. You yelped as you said, “Okay! Okay! I’m sorry…”

Joel took a deep breath, closing his eyes then opening them again. “It’s okay, angel…Let me finish what I was saying, hm?” 

You nodded.

“I know you’re not bein’ honest with me…at least not entirely. You’re in survival mode right now. ‘N that’s okay, that’s normal. But it’s causing you t’have some guards up. You’re prioritizin’ gettin’ outta here over bein’ true t’me…’n I’m not okay with that, sweetheart. So…I gotta break you. Okay?” Your eyes widened. “Gotta break down those defenses. Get your head all soft ‘n fuzzy again. It’ll feel good at the end, angel…I promise. It’ll feel like a release. Like all those worries ‘n emotions finally have a way t’drain out, okay?”

Your heart was pounding impossibly hard and you worried for a moment that you might have a heart attack. The fear had paralyzed you, making it impossible to even answer him. It didn’t seem to faze him though. He reached into his back pocket, and you heard the buzzing sound before you even saw it. 

He held a pink vibrator in his hand. It was a small bullet one with a button toward the base for the different settings. You watched as Joel clicked through, landing on a setting that sounded more aggressive than one you would’ve chosen for yourself. 

“Buckle up, sweet thing,” Joel warned, though you weren’t quite sure why it warranted a warning.

He tapped the vibrator to your clit and you lurched but didn’t have anywhere to go, so your body hardly moved. He pulled it away, tapping again, repeating this action a few times until you were familiar with the sensation. Then he held it against your clit. You moaned, feeling your arousal start to drip. 

“Oh fuck,” you whimpered, the sensation building steadily. Joel wasn’t even moving the vibrator, simply holding it in place. Your back lifted off the blanket, arching as you neared your peak. Then, Joel pulled it away. 

He knelt at your feet, the vibrator buzzing in his hand as he watched your reaction. You were panting slightly, coming down from your near-peak. He tapped the vibrator to your clit again and you yelped, trying to acclimate to the sensation again. He pressed it firmly against you and it didn’t take much time at all before your orgasm started to build again. You squeezed your eyes closed, letting it climb higher and higher until your jaw fell open and you waited for the pleasure to wash over you. 

Then he removed it again. “Joel!,” you cried out. Your body was so tense, like all your nerve endings were twisted and pulsing, waiting to be able to release. 

Life started to come back into Joel’s eyes. He grinned before pressing the vibrator against you once more. He watched as your pussy clenched around nothing, aching and begging for any stimulation it could find. It wasn’t his initial plan, but he couldn’t help himself as he pushed one of his fingers deep inside of you, curving it and then fingering you harshly, bumping against your spongy spot over and over again. The combination of the additional stimulation along with the vibrator pushed you right to the brink and your back arched again before Joel withdrew it all. 

“Fuck!,” you cried, tears started to pour out of the sides of your eyes, running down your face and onto the blanket beneath you. 

Joel looked devilish as he watched you, but there was still a layer of exhaustion that dulled his expression. Your eyes moved down to the crotch of his jeans again to see that he still wasn’t hard. 

“Only seven more,” he attempted to reassure you. 

Your eyes blew wide and you shook your head, “Wh-what? S-seven more?” 

“I like round numbers,” was all Joel said before mercilessly pressing the vibrating bullet to your center once more. 

It was agonizing. He started to make you count, and you cried more each time. You’d never in your life been edged like this and it was starting to make you angry. Your fists were clenched so tightly that your nails had started to draw blood from the palms of your hands. It felt like you were going to explode at any moment, but it never came. It was purgatorial torture. You could hear yourself begging, but the sound seemed so distant and you weren’t even sure what words you were saying. 

Still, Joel persisted until you yelled out the number, “Ten!!” Finally removing the vibrator and shutting it off. 

The blanket was soaked underneath you. Your arousal flowed in a steady stream down your folds as you cried and whimpered, begging him for a release. Nothing else mattered to you in that moment, and you were pretty sure that if Joel gave you the option of leaving right then and there with no orgasm, or staying and finally getting your release, you’d choose the latter hands down. 

“Fuck,” Joel mumbled. He looked at your rigid body, your wet eyes, your dripping cunt, and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen anything more beautiful. Your clit was swollen, aching to be touched, and who was he to deny you? He moved onto his hands and knees before setting his elbows on either side of your body, his hands clasping together across your lower tummy as he moved his mouth down to your clit. He spat, a lewd sound that echoed in the dark chamber and pulled another whimper from your teeth-bitten lips. “Shouldn’t be doin’ this, sweet thing,” he murmured again, “not part of the plan.” The vibration from him talking was nearly enough to send you over the edge. 

Joel’s tongue prodded at your entrance, wriggling its way in and scooping out your slick. He lapped at it like a thirsty dog before dragging his tongue up to your clit and sucking it into his mouth. Your vision blacked out before white stars filled the room and your entire body shook with the intensity of the release. You were sure you were screaming, could feel it in your lungs, but everything sounded like you were under water. 

He groaned against your core, continually lapping and sucking as you worked through your orgasm. Your head was spinning when you finally came down and you were in disbelief about how intense that just was. 

“Oh my god, Joel…,” you panted with heavy breaths, “I don’t think I’ve ever come that hard before.”

Joel lifted his head, his face glistening with your arousal as he wiped it off on his sleeve and then sat back on his knees. You could finally see his cock straining in his jeans. “Good,” he said with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “then you’ll be ready for nine more.”

You attempted to scoot away, but the chains wouldn’t allow it. “No, please! No, no…I can’t…that’s not…that’s not even possible, Joel!”

He picked up the vibrator from the blanket, buzzing it on and causing your eyes to widen in terror. “Well I guess we’re gonna find out, aren’t we?”

Without further preamble, he pressed it to your already sensitive clit, causing you to scream out as he turned it to the highest setting. The overstimulation was intense and had you bucking as you orgasmed almost immediately. Joel’s eyes lit up as he saw the gush of arousal slip out from your quivering hole. It was taking everything he had to not pull down his pants and thrust inside of you. 

“Count,” he demanded. 

“T-two,” your voice trembled as you spoke. 

“Good girl.” 

Joel only gave you a minute’s reprieve before the cruel vibrations started again. You whimpered, your hands pulling against the chains as you fought to reach down between your legs. “Please,” you whined. 

He only shook his head, his eyes diverting from yours to down at your swollen cunt as he ruthlessly held the toy to your clit. “Gonna give it all t’me,” he murmured. 

And you did, over and over until you thought you were on the verge of passing out. 

“Six…” Tears were streaming down your face, your eyes rolled back into your head as your mouth hung agape, drool slipping out of the corner. Someone who saw you in this state may have thought that you just had a seizure, and you may as well have. 

Your eyes could hardly focus on Joel anymore, but when you were able to get a good look at him, it was clear that he was enjoying this. You hadn’t noticed when he did it, but at some point he had taken his jeans and underwear off, now kneeling in front of you with his weeping cock, the slit periodically dripping precum onto the blanket beneath you as he worked you through orgasm after orgasm. 

“So close, angel…only four more,” he said with a sick smile. 

You shook your head slowly, letting it drop side to side as the room seemed to spin around you. The pain was getting to be too much. Your clit was bright red and engorged, and your pussy lips were so swollen that Joel had to keep spreading you to angle the vibrator just right. The muscles in your abdomen were sore from the constant tightening and you were almost positive you had fried your vocal chords.

Still, the vibrator pushed against your clit, jolting you into another yelp as you continued to fight hopelessly against the chains. Your wrists were rubbed raw from the friction. 

Joel stroked his cock as he held the toy against you. He never imagined enjoying using a sex toy on you, preferring to use his own body to stimulate you, but seeing you come undone repeatedly was causing him to start to feel feral. He needed to get off, he was desperate for it, but he tried to be patient as he watched your seventh orgasm crest and then dissipate. 

You were a whimpering, shaking mess in front of him. You could only imagine just how wrecked you looked as you begged for him to stop. It was as though he didn’t hear your pleas. Your brain was fuzzy, your thoughts emptying as you tried to just stay conscious. 

Finally, you had gathered enough energy to form a coherent sentence as you whined, “You were right…”

Joel held the still-buzzing vibrator in his hand. “About what?”

“I…” Fat tears rolled out of your eyes as you said, “I can’t actually leave you. I-I don’t know why I thought I could. I was hopeful, I guess…” You hiccuped as your sobs continued. “I can’t stay away from you, Joel. You did…you did something to me that I don’t understand. I’m not the same. I’m…broken.” You sobbed harder, turning your face to the side in shame as you cried onto the blanket. “You broke me. I can’t stop…” You tried to take a breath to calm yourself, but it felt near impossible. “I can’t stop craving your touch, your comfort…fuck, all of it. No one in my life has ever seen me the way that you do. No one has ever made me feel the way that you do. No one has ever kept me as safe as you do. Fuck!” Your fists were clenched as your body shook with your cries. 

“Hey, hey.” Joel moved his body overtop of yours, his erection pressed to your tummy as he lowered his lips to your forehead. “Shh, shh,” he said as he stroked your hair, pulling his head back to look at you. He gently held you by your jaw, turning your face up to look at him. “I’ve got you, okay? I’ve got you…it’s okay…” He kissed your tear-stained cheeks and then your lips. 

Your body started to relax under his. You opened your mouth, allowing him to invade you. 

“Fuck angel,” Joel pressed his erection against your sweat-slicked skin. “I gotta do this.”

He straddled your waist so that his cock was hovering above your tits. You looked up at him dazed, not knowing what he was going to do, but also not quite caring enough to ask. 

You gasped in surprise when he spit lewdly onto your chest and started rubbing it around. He spit a couple more times, then reached between your legs to scoop up some of your arousal, coating his cock with it. 

He grabbed your tits, pushing them together as he slowly drove his cock between them. He groaned, tossing his head back for a moment as he relished the sensation. “Fuck, you feel amazing.” He withdrew his cock, pushing it forward again, this time a little quicker. “Gonna fuck your tits, sweet thing. Give that lil pussy a break, huh?” This must have been his sick version of mercy. 

He continued to slide his cock in and out of the tight valley between your breasts. Grunting with each thrust that continued to increase in speed and intensity. His grip on your tits hurt, but you hardly noticed it given how spent you were. “Fuck,” he groaned and began to rub his thumbs over your nipples. He spat on them and watched how they pebbled with the stimulation. 

It still didn’t seem to be enough for him. He made a frustrated sound as he turned his body, now facing the other way with his ass floating right above your face. His cheeks were round and tone, and your eyes traveled up to the sparse dark hairs across his lower back. His cheeks clenched as he worked himself through your tits again. He resumed his thrusting, using your jiggling breasts to get himself off. He enjoyed this view, looking down at your swollen, leaking cunt that he had just destroyed. He was desperate to come and was seeking anything he could to get himself there. 

He closed his eyes, fighting the urge that was coming over him, but in the end, it was too strong for him to deny. His hand released your tit to swing down and slap against your aching pussy. You screeched, attempting to close your legs despite knowing that the spreader bar was still secured to your ankles. You cried as you pleaded with him, “Please, Joel, please! That hurts too much…please…” You continued whimpering as Joel sighed, trying to ignore just how much his cock had enjoyed the abuse.

“Fine,” he gritted out, jacking off his cock, “then stick your fucking tongue out, slut.”

You were too tired to fight him, so you did as he said. Your mouth opened and you stuck your tongue straight out as Joel lowered himself onto your face. He rocked back and forth, sweeping your tongue up and down his asshole as he continued to stroke himself. It was absolutely filthy and humiliating, but you were too exhausted to feel the full effects of it. You felt the ridges of his asshole sliding against the tip of your tongue, tasting the heady saltiness of him.

“Oh fuck, oh yes…jus’ like that, angel..shit.” He worked his cock harder, squeezing it firmly as he moved his wrist up and down at a punishing speed. He pushed harder against your tongue, grinding down in needy desperation as he felt his balls start to retract, preparing to release what was sure to be a heavy load. 

Without any warning, he lifted off of you, turning around quickly and sticking the head of his cock into your already open mouth. His seed spurted against your tongue, dripping down into your throat. You swallowed quickly, closing your mouth around his head and drinking from him. You moaned as it continued to pour down, worried for a moment that you were going to choke from just how much he was giving you. 

“Fuck, angel,” Joel said, pulling his cock from your mouth and moving beside you to sit on the blanket. “That was fuckin’ perfect.” 

Your eyes drifted closed and you could feel yourself floating away, slowly losing consciousness. It seemed that only a moment had gone by before you felt a cold wash cloth pressed to your forehead and an ice cube running along your bottom lip. 

“Angel…” Joel’s voice floated across you and you opened your eyes. It only took you a moment to notice that all of the chains were off of you and that you and Joel were both dressed again. You were still in the dim basement, and became immediately unsettled at the thought that Joel was still not ready to let you leave. 

“How,” your voice cracked as you spoke, “how long was I out for?” 

Joel smiled at you, continuing to stroke your face with the cool washcloth. “Not very long, just enough for me t’clean you up.” He studied you for a moment. “You did so good f’me, angel.”

You gave a sleepy smile, starting to feel yourself come back to full consciousness but still feeling the effects of the previous activity. 

“Do you still want to go home?” 

You wondered if it was a trick question, but decided to answer honestly. “Yes, please. I just want to sleep in my own bed…and take a shower.”

Joel nodded. “I understand.” He stood up, reaching down and helping you to your feet. He handed you your car keys, closing your hand around them and patting it. “Car is parked in the driveway. I filled up your tank - saw it was half empty.”

You smiled in true gratitude as you said, “Thank you, Joel.” 

“No problem.” He walked you upstairs with his hand on your lower back. It was comforting and you were once again mildly sickened with how domestic it could feel with him at times.

He followed you all the way to your car, leaning down to give you a chaste kiss on the cheek once you were seated inside. It was light out, but you still weren’t sure how long you had been in his house. 

“Drive safe, angel…I’ll see you around.” He shut your car door, tapping his hand against the roof of your car before turning to walk back to the front porch. You watched him retreat, noticing an odd pull in your core.

You started the engine, and saw that your phone was dead but plugged into the car charger. You grew concerned about how much these small actions from Joel warmed your heart. He oozed thoughtfulness and made it all seem so easy. You had never met a guy before who cared for you in the ways that Joel did.

He watched you as you reversed your car down the gravel driveway, turning onto the road and then driving away. He gave a small wave before you were out of sight. 

You kept waiting for relief to flood you. Driving in the direction of your home, you anticipated that your thoughts would soon turn to problem-solving how to get yourself out of this mess and still carry forward with your move. 

And yet, those thoughts never came. You parked at your condo, getting out of the car on wobbly legs and walking into your home. You spotted the boxes in the living room, some of them full of your items, and others empty and folded on the floor. Without thinking much about it, you gathered up the empty boxes, walking back to the driveway and placing them inside your recycling bin. 

When you were back inside, you pulled your phone out of your pocket, opening up your travel app and canceling your flight. It wasn’t until you were in the shower, reveling in how the hot water was easing your sore body, that you realized everything you had said to Joel was utterly true. You were broken.

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Tag list: @untamedheart81 @shadowqueen2024 @shrewdreader @m3rdim @taniamiller @joelmillerspnk @have-you-seen-my-sanity @wand-erer5 @whorefordaveyork @jasminedragoon @pedge-page @cinnxmxngxrl @arthursdodobird @honey-moon-13 @jules6898 @valyrianjoel @stephtuckerwriting @spectralgalaxygauntlet @missadangel @mydarlingjoel @jamjamjamming @biagaloree @sub-aro @david-10ninch-blog @pdrospnk @kaliisapunk28 @ratatouilleremyrini @gunnersaurusrex @joelsarchive @xkyxkyxxlylcylulucuflfluclu @bevellin777

[whorefordaveyork]

I AM SCAROUSED™️ (meaning scared and aroused, patent pending) YET AGAIN!!!! 🔥🔥🔥

But now I’m more curious than ever to find out why does Joel do all this and what does he mean that he can’t help doing/being like this?!?!?! I am so effed in the head knowing that he clearly doesn’t feel at all bad about hurting the reader and being so cruel, yet still wanting to just know more about who hurt him to make him like that!?!?!?

[sunshineflowersandkisses]

Bloody Roses Chapter 2

The Next Day

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader

Summary: it’s the following day after you had your interview with Joel, and finding out that he has escaped from prison, and nobody knows where he is.

Warnings: nothing major just mentions of murder and swear words.

Word count: 4.5k words

Authors note: thank you guys for the show of love on the first chapter I really didn’t expect that, and it made me feel better about posting on here. So this literally took me all day and night to write, and I honestly feel like I was just rambling on and repeating myself, but anyway I hope y’all like this chapter! Let me know in the comments if you like where this is going, or what you would like to happen next! I really hope this wasn’t like a boring chapter or anything. My tag list is open for this series if you would like to be added! Plus, my inbox is always open to talk if you want so don’t be shy I like to talk to people. Don’t forget to reblog if you liked it. If you have any suggestions or advice for me please share. Thanks everyone so much for the show of support already. 🌻💛

Chapter 1

Taglist for bloody roses: @vickie5446 @mxkhxx @ptolemaea444 @saralovesjoelmiller @princessofthalia @lulusa27

There was one thing you were for certain of when you woke up the next morning. Joel Miller had escaped. You don't know why or how, but all you knew was he was out there now, and nobody knew where he was or where he was going. Would he kill again? Would he go into complete hiding? Or would he even come after you?

You couldn't help but wonder why he was so confident he was framed. The way he talked about almost had you believing him for a second. Of course anyone on death row would claim their innocence, but with him you sensed something deeper that he was telling the truth. Just maybe he was telling the truth.

Those thoughts keeping you up all night as you tossed and turned completely restless. Glancing towards the door and windows like he might just waltz in. Scrolling through your phone to see if anything had happened.

Your friend blowing up your phone all morning asking you so many questions it almost made your head spin. She was genuinely curious but also worried for you at the same time. She also just wanted to check up on you and make sure you weren't dead or kidnapped already.

People were slightly on edge with him missing. Even people who have never heard of him were petrified if he would come to their door. It felt like the entire city was involved, and brought into this dark story.

Cursing your boss for being the one to pick you to do the interview. You wondered if he even felt bad or if he wanted something like this to happen to you. No, that couldn't be. He wouldn't want anything to happen to you, since you were his favorite journalist after all.

Walking into work felt stranger than usual. Constantly looking over your shoulder to see if anyone was watching you. Feeling on edge with everything and everyone. Noticing that everyone in the office kept glancing at you sympathetically, and you absolutely hated it.

You were kind of surprised you even showed up to work today. A part of you wanting to just stay home with the doors locked, and your back kept against the wall. It was an overly eerie and spine tingling feeling knowing a serial killer was on the loose.

Constantly refreshing local news reports to see if he's been spotted or hopefully captured. It still didn't feel real that something like this could happen to you. This felt like something out of a movie, and you were not ready for your scenes just yet.

"Hey." Almost nearly jumping out of your seat at your friends voice. "You okay?"

"Didn't sleep for shit last night." Groaning as you rubbed your eyes hoping it would open your eyes a little more. "All I could think about was him and it just kept me up all night."

"Yeah I don't blame you I would have been the same way." She tried to give you a sympathetic smile wishing that she could do more to help you.

You turned to face her not even trying to fake a smile. "You don't actually think he would come for me do you?"

"I don't know." She shook her head her response not making you feel better. "I don't think he would be that crazy to."

"I just don't understand why he would escape  that same night after our interview." Leaning back in your seat.

"Maybe you going to see him was a distraction of some sort." She shrugged her shoulders, and you could tell she was just as confused if not more than you. "Like he didn't want them to see what he was going to do."

"I just don't get any of this." Rubbing your fingers  over your forehead. "He's never attempted to escape before. He's attacked guards and almost killed them, but getting out of there was never on the table for him."

You only knew that cause you read his file forward and backward. Almost memorizing each line like you wanted to know everything there was to know. You even remembered a whole paragraph explaining how protective he was over female staff at the prison. Never once trying to touch them or harm them. But it could all be an act, a facade to make people believe he was harmless.

"I don't think he'd be dumb enough to stay here." She tried reassuring you. "If he's smart he's getting the hell out of here as fast as he can."

"But he said something about someone framing him." It's like you were trying to fit the pieces together. "Maybe he has unfinished business with them, and wants to find the person he believes did and handle it with them."

"How could someone have framed him? His DNA was all over the crime scenes."

"Yeah I know, but he was so adamant someone set him up." She pursed her lips thinking.

"Like I said I don't think he'd be dumb enough to stay here." Repeating the same words again.

"Well there must be a reason he escaped like he did." You couldn't shake this feeling.

"I mean he was in prison, and on death row." She stated like it was the obvious. "Which makes me really believe he isn't staying."

As much as you wanted to believe that, something in your gut was telling you that he stayed. That he wanted to find the person responsible, and make them pay. You didn't know what to believe anymore. You didn't know what was the truth and what was a lie.

It's the kind of headache in your life that you didn't need right now. You didn't need this kind of drama. You wanted a quiet and simple life not the kind that was written in books.

"Why don't you go home?" She asked when she could see the stress clearly written across your face.

"So I can stress and worry there?" You almost chuckled at the thought. "I would rather keep myself busy and mind occupied."

"I know but maybe you could rest or something." You appreciated that she was trying to be a good friend to you, but right now you just wanted to focus on your work, and not thinking about a certain handsome man.

Biting your bottom lip as you thought about the smirk he gave you yesterday. There was something deep and dark about him that had you wanting more. Almost like you wanted to see him again, and to feel his eyes on you. It felt like a gravitational pull you couldn't get out of. 

"Y/N." Your bosses shouting voice called from his office. "Come see me in my office."

"Good luck." She grumbled under her voice as you just scoffed.

"Yeah right." Standing up as you walked to his office and stood in the doorway. Lightly tapping the frame to catch his attention, but he tapped away on his phone instead.

There was something on his face that was different today. You couldn't quite put your finger on what it was. Like he was worried or scared about something. His brow furrowing over whoever he was texting. Almost like a secret he was trying to conceal. Maybe you were just becoming paranoid. Surely he was just worried about you.

"Come in." He waved without looking up from his phone.

"Let me guess," you spoke as soon as you sat down,"this is about Joel Miller."

"Yes it is." He looked up at you this time. Leaning back in his seat as he crossed his arms over his chest, and stared at you for a couple seconds. "I want you to go home for the week."

"I'm fine." Giving him a weak smile that he saw right through.

"No you're not fine." He stated matter of factly. "I just feel like this is my fault."

He shook his head and you could see the guilt eating him up inside. Beating himself being the one to name you specifically. Knowing if he wouldn't have sent you on that assignment your life wouldn't potentially be in danger.

"Look, I appreciate you wanting me to go home, but I would really rather keep my mind off of him and stay here." He nodded his head in understanding.

"I get that." He started off and he leaned forward this time. "But he knows where you work, and he doesn't know where you live."

For all you know he could be watching you right now, and follow you right when you leave. He's obviously a very intelligent man, to have escaped from a maximum security prison, and gone undetected so far. This was a man you did not want to cross hairs with.

"I will be fine here." You tried to plead with him, putting your foot down.

"I can't, for your sake and everyone's sake I don't want you here." He shook his head and his tone was firm. There was no way he was going to be letting you work. "If anything you can work from home."

It wasn't even close to the same thing. At least here you would be surrounded by people, and home you were alone. At work you would feel more safe and secure, and at home you felt exposed and vulnerable.

"Sir, please." He put his hand up and you cut any words from your lips. Now he was the one putting his foot down.

"That's my final word." His voice more stern this time like he wasn't going to be nice about it. "I want you working from home for the week."

"Okay." It was useless trying to argue with him anymore, since he was the boss.

"Didn't you say something about having a cabin somewhere?" He had asked as if a lightbulb went off.

"Yeah my parents have a cabin by a lake." You confirmed not remembering telling anybody, but you must have forgotten that you told him.

"Does anybody know about this cabin?" You just shook your head realizing what he was trying to tell you. "You could always stay there in the meantime."

"Yeah I guess I could." That actually wasn't a bad idea since nobody but you and your parents knew about this place. Still, you wanted to be around other people.

"We'll check on you everyday and make sure you're doing okay." He stood up and walked over to you, hands in his pockets. "We won't let anything happen to you."

"We just want you to be safe that's all." That word 'safe' it's the last feeling that you felt.

The only thing you felt was exhaustion so much that you couldn't even say anything. All you could do was just nod your head and accept it. Standing up you just walked back to your cubicle where everyone was just now blatantly staring at you. Giving you sympathetic smiles and nods, as they watched you gather your things. It kind of made you feel like you were doing the walk of shame.

What you didn't see was just how closely your boss was watching you. His eyes burning into the back of your head his mind racing with all kinds of thoughts, and not knowing what to do in this moment.

"You get his barking order?" Your friend asked as she walked over and you just nodded your head.

"Yeah just gonna work from home for the week." Shrugging your shoulders trying to act like it wasn't a big deal.

"I mean maybe it's for the best." Trying to make you feel better, but it still didn't make a difference.

"Yeah maybe." Your voice quieter this time.

"Call me tonight." Giving her a smile and a quick hug before you walked out of the building.

As you sat in your car all you could think about was Joel. Hating how much of your mind he was occupying. It felt like he was a parasite that had taken control of your brain, and you couldn't get rid of him. You don't know why it was bothering you that much. Usually things like this didn't get to your head.

Now you were going to have to pack some stuff, and hopefully remember where this cabin exactly was. It's been too long since you've been there, and it was kind of hidden from what you remembered. Plus, it's not like you were there all the time. It was mainly used for family get aways or something like that.

The drive to the cabin felt like hours, like time was slowing down as you headed there. There were no good sounds playing on the radio, people were driving like they've never driven a car before. Any time a car followed you too long you got nervous and anxious.

It was the worst kind of feeling to have. To feel so paranoid and almost naked in a sense. Like everyone in the world could see you, and you couldn't hide.

It didn't take long for you to get settled into the cabin. Setting up your things, and getting comfy as you placed your papers and files on Joel on the coffee table. Pulling out the tape recorder and setting it on the table.

Looking over his file again noting that he did have a brother ,Tommy, but his last location was unknown. Maybe he would go to his brother to look for help. There was no mention of a wife or anybody in his life that maybe broke his heart. You did also remember something about him having a daughter, but she was tragically killed. Maybe that's what sent him off the deep end to kill all these women.

A vibration next to you startled you as you realized someone was calling you. It was your friend, and you almost laughed at how quickly she was already calling you. And then when saw the time you saw that it was late. Not realizing you were so engraved in your work that it was dark out.

"I'm still alive if you were wondering." You joked with her as soon as you answered, and she just deeply sighed for you calling her out on it.

"Well I had to check, plus I told the boss that I would." She fired back at you.

"It's not even been twelve hours since I've left." Teasing her at how worried they all were acting. "You guys are acting more anxious than me."

"Cause we don't want anything to happen to you." Her tone changed to one of concern, and that made you stop and think a little bit more.

"I know it's just I never thought I would go through anything like this." Shaking your head at the thought of everything like it was a nightmare.

"All I can say is thank god I'm not you." She huffed through her nose.

"Thanks." Your tone sarcastic and flat.

"Sorry I know that doesn't make you feel better." She quickly apologized when she heard your tone.

You couldn't blame her for saying that though, cause you wish you could switch positions with her right now. Wishing you weren't the one hiding in your parents cabin from an escaped serial killer who may or may not be after you. You would give anything to switch places with anybody else.

"Have you heard anything though?" You asked her after a few seconds of silence since you haven't checked the news since you left, and it was driving you a little up the wall to know anything.

"Someone said they may have spotted him like twenty miles from here, but they think it was a scam call." Her tone full of disappointment.

"Well maybe you were right earlier, and that he wouldn't be dumb enough to stay here." Mentioning what she had said earlier and telling yourself if you kept saying it then it would be true.

"I think it is better though if you stay cautious still." You nodded your head even though you knew she couldn't see you.

"Yeah i probably should." You finally agreed with her.

As much as you wanted to tell yourself that most likely he wouldn't come try to find you. You weren't that important anyway for him to go out of his way to search for you. The possibilities of you running into him again with slim to none. More likely to win the lottery than him finding you.

"So what do you plan on doing for an entire week?" She asked as you heard her rummaging through something.

"I have no idea honestly. Probably just do some work and try to relax and not think." Try not to think about a certain dark eyed man the whole time is more exact.

"Hey enjoy it while you can, you basically get a paid vacation." She chuckled feeling a little jealous at the moment, but it didn't even feel like that to you.

"Yeah right a vacation that I didn't even want to take." Rolling your eyes at her word choice, and the fact that she referenced it like that.

"Hey I gotta go my dinner just got here." Hearing commotion going on the other side of the phone.

"Mmm sounds dangerous."

"Oh yes pizza is a real killer." You almost flinched at her word choice.

"Okay go enjoy your pizza. I'll call you in the morning so you know I haven't been stabbed to death."

"Not funny Y/N." You could tell by her tone she didn't like the joke.

"I know I'll be fine. Bye." Hanging up the phone as you sat back on the couch.

Looking around the cabin noticing the small details you never did before. Cobwebs forming in the ceiling corners, and the wood paneling on the floor was scuffed up from years of wearing shoes, and rolling suitcases through. The windows desperately needed to be cleaned, and this entire cabin needed to be brushed. Maybe that could be something you do to keep your mind at ease.

Who were you kidding nothing could help distract you at this point. It was all you could think about, and no matter how hard you tried it was like Joel was imbedded into your mind, and his name kept flashing everywhere. You needed to shake this man off anyway that you could, and just pray it works.

You grabbed the remote and turned on the television to see if there was anything interesting on. Flipping through the channels one by one nothing really catching your eye, until you stopped on the news channel. Hesitating for just a brief moment on whether you wanted to watch it or not, and just as you were about to click off you heard his name.

"Sources have stated serial killer Joel miller still hasn't been caught by authorities, but are urging everyone to keep their doors locked and to remain vigilant." She spoke with a slight smile and ecstatic tone to her voice. "Detectives have stated they have looked at his brother Tommy, but found nothing to suggest he's helping him."

Well now you can knock his brother off the list of people he's gone to. Then again that would seem a little too obvious if he went to his brother for help. Surely he would know better than to go to anyway police are going to be looking at. Family members are the first ones they would look at anyway.

"We've also confirmed the last person to speak to Joel is local journalist Y/N, when she went to interview him at the prison." Hearing your name definitely made you straighten your back a little more. It was even enough to make you shut the television off. You couldn't be thinking about this kind of thing right now, otherwise you'd never get any sleep.

You couldn't stand the fact that every news channel had his name and picture up on the screen. Wishing something else would happen just so they would stop talking about him even for just five minutes.

Maybe a nice glass of wine would help calm your nerves a little bit. Before you could even step into the kitchen to pour yourself a glass you heard what sounded like twigs snapping just right outside the window. Glancing in that direction as you stood there waiting to see if you would hear it again. Maybe you thought you heard it or maybe it was a deer wondering around.

Once you didn't you continued to pour yourself a large glass, and take a huge sip. The alcohol burning down your throat, and a heat building up in your stomach. Just as you went to go take another drink you heard even louder noises coming from outside again. Now you were definitely more on edge.

Timidly walking over to the window to make sure you weren't going crazy. Making sure each step you were as light as a feather. If anybody were watching you right now they would think you'd lost your marbles. Glancing around every corner trying to see if there was anything roaming around.

When you didn't see anything you almost breathed a sigh of relief. It had to have been all in your head then, telling yourself you heard it, but it probably didn't even happen. That it was just the paranoia making you believe you were hearing and seeing things.

Going back into the kitchen to pour yourself another glass of wine. Already feeling the effects of it taking hold of your nerves. Calming you down a little bit making you feel a bit at ease for just a brief moment. But as you very well knew moments like that didn't last long.

"Hello darlin'." You knew that voice. That low and deep southern drawl. Without even having to turn around you knew exactly who was standing behind you. "Miss me?"

His tone condescending and mocking. The hairs on the back of your neck standing up, as your feet were glued to the ground. You couldn't move, you couldn't breathe and you felt like you couldn't even blink. Your heart beating so fast you knew that he could hear it. How in the fuck did he find you? Nobody knew where this place was. The only explanation was that he saw you leaving work and followed you.

You knew right then and there that you should have just followed your guy and stayed at work.

Slowly turning around to finally face him. He looked like a completely different man. His hair had been freshly brushed, his beard cleanly shaven and he was wearing a flannel with a pair of jeans. If you didn't know any better you would have thought this was a normal man standing in front of you, but the only problem was he wasn't a normal man.

"How did you find me?" Swallowing the lump in your throat as you finally found your words.

"I followed you, and you made it a little too easy for me sweetheart. So careless and irresponsible." He tsked at you like a parent scolding a child. "I could have been a serial killer and you'd be dead right now."

Scrunching your face is disgust at his distasteful joke. "Last time I checked you are a serial killer."

"Ah but that's what they want you to believe." He stepped closer, and you took a step backwards and he just smirked.

"Oh right, I forgot you claimed that you were set up." Sneering at him your words seemed to affect him as it wiped the grin off his face.

"I was set up." He spat through his teeth. "And I think deep down you believe it too."

Damn him for knowing that a little part of you deep down inside did wonder if he was truly innocent.

"You are absolutely fucking crazy if you think that." Shaking your head at him as you moved to grab your phone. "Okay you know what I'm calling the police."

He stepped in front of you so quickly like he already knew what you were about to do. "No you aren't darlin."

"You aren't going to call the police." He then snatched your phone and put it in his pocket before you could try to be slick and still grab it.

"And why on earth would I not call the police?" Crossing your arms across your chest waiting to hear his answer for this one.

"Because you're going to help me." You just stared at him like he had grown another head. This man was certifiably insane if he thought you were going to help him.

"You've got to be joking." Laughing loudly stunned by what he was saying, and judging by the tone and look on his face he wasn't.

"Do you see me laughing?" He asked sarcastically but dead serious.

"Why the fuck would I help you?" Now just getting angrier by the second.

"Because you want to help an innocent man." He spoke with a low voice. "You're going to help hide me here until I can prove what I know."

"What?" Even though you heard him perfectly clear you just didn't want to believe your ears. Did this man just seriously think you were going to help a convicted killer.

"Nobody else knows where this place is so it's the perfect hide out for me until I get the proof I need."

"Fuck me." Whispering out loud to yourself as he smirked. You were in trouble now. "I can't believe this is happening to me."

A part of Joel felt terrible for putting you in this predicament, but you were like an angel who fell into his lap to help him. He could see in your eyes that you were kind and generous, and wanting to help others. He needed to do what he had to to get his story told, and find anything to get him free.

"Look I didn't want this to happen in the first place." He tried to reason with you. "And if there was another way I would, but until then this is the best idea."

"Why can't you just move somewhere they can't get you? Or live off the grid like a lot of people do." Smacking yourself for giving this man ideas now.

He just snorted at your response like it was stupid as he stepped closer to you. "Cause that would defeat the whole purpose of me proving my innocence."

"Besides, if you don't help me out I'll tell them you hid me here." Your eyes went wide with the nerve of this man, it really was astounding. "Do you know how long you’d serve in prison for harboring a convicted murderer?"

"Really? You're gonna blackmail me into helping you." This was just getting worse and worse. Or maybe he was really that desperate. Either way you were stuck in this position now.

“Which means we’d better get used to each other then.” Smirking like he just won the battle.

[whorefordaveyork]

this is sooooo thrilling 😱🤭

why is serial killer (alleged) joel so hot 🫠

[sunshineflowersandkisses]

Bloody Roses Chapter 1

The Interview

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader.

Summary: Joel Miller is a convicted serial killer, and you have been sent to give him his last interview where he wants to tell the truth.

Warnings: mentions of murder and killing. Future chapters will be marked with any triggers so please be aware and pay attention.

Word count: 4.3k words

Authors Note: Hello everyone I contemplated whether or not I wanted to create an account on here and start blogging my work since I honestly don’t think I’m that good. This is my first ever fan fiction writing on here so go easy on me and not be too harsh, cause I want to hear what you guys have to say or what you think so far. If you have any advice for me or suggestions for future works i will take all the help i can get!

"Did you hear what’s going on?" Your friend squealed as she leaned over the front of your cubicle as you typed away for your news article. Knowing that she was coming to you with this weeks newest office gossip.

"No, what’s going on?" Asking without stopping as you quickly glanced up at her to see a certain look on her face like the was worried or something.

"That convicted murderer Joel requested to be interviewed." Now that information had your full attention, and you fully turned towards her to see if they were any signs of deception.

"Joel Miller?" Squinting your eyes at her. "Convicted serial killer Joel Miller?"

"Yep." Popping the p as you leaned back in your chair. "Came out early this morning his attorney made a statement."

"He's been in prison for like five years that doesn't make sense why he wants to talk now." Crossing your arms across your chest as you slowly shook your head. "When does he want to do this interview?"

"Apparently he demanded it be done this afternoon."

"This afternoon?" Repeating her words with a shocked expression on your face. "You've got to be kidding."

"I know I couldn't believe what I heard either." Erica exclaimed with wide eyes.

"There's no way they would let that happen anyway." Scoffing through your nose at the thought of them letting him get what he wants.

"Well I heard it's cause he's on death row, and that’s his final request." Now that made a little sense as to why he wanted to talk and probably confess everything.

"Well yeah I would hope after brutally murdering over a dozen women he'd be put on death row."

"Maybe he wants to clear his conscious or something." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Who in the world would want to interview someone like him anyway?" Your voice dripping with disgust at the thought of being alone with someone like him anyway.

"Someone whose stupid and isn't afraid of anything." She joked as you both laughed.

"Well I'll tell you I wouldn't even come within a hundred yards of that man." Pointing your finger at her in a matter of fact. "They couldn't get me to do something like that."

"Me neither I would rather just shoot myself if I had to interview him."

"Y/N." Turning your head to see your boss standing in the door way of his office looking straight at you. "Can I talk to you in my office for a moment."

"Yes, sir." Nodding his head as he turned back into his office.

"Someone's in trouble." Your friend teased with a singing voice as you rolled your eyes giving her the middle finger.

"If I'm in trouble I'm taking your ass down with me." You sneered at her standing up walking towards his office.

As you stood in the doorway knocking on the door he looked up from his paperwork motioning you to sit down. Shutting the door behind you as you took a seat patiently waiting for him to finish whatever he was doing. He rarely called you into his office like this usually he called you on the phone to talk.

"I’m sure you've heard all about this Miller prick." He started off as you nodded your head.

"Yeah I was just kept up to speed." Smacking your lips together.

"Then you've also heard he wants a woman to be doing the interview?" Staring straight at him as you wondered where he was going with this.

"I did not." Your stomach turning in knots at the feeling of where this discussion was going, and what you were probably going to be asked.

"Which is why I wanted to talk to you." Clearing his throat as you waited to hear those dreadful words. "I want you to do the interview."

"I hope that this is some kind of sick joke." Blurting out loud as he clasped his hands together on the desk.

"You're one of my best journalists out there." He complimented you as you sat frozen. "You're the only person who could nail this interview."

"I don't know." Looking down at your lap as your nerves were all over the place. Of course you wanted to do a good job, but the thought of being in a room with a killer petrified you.

"Besides you would be the only person to do this interview, and you could get your name out there." He really wasn't going to let this go, and he did have a point.

Doing this interview would mean getting your name plastered over news channels, and radios. Everyone would know who you are, and it could also mean a pay increase which didn't sound too bad. It just horrified you to no extent being in the same room with that man.

"Do I really have a choice." Not meaning to say that out loud, but to yourself.

"I have you scheduled to be there at four thirty." Ignoring your statement as he informed you of details.

"You already called them?" Exclaiming as you leaned forward in your chair. The little shit had already decided who was going to do this interview.

"Well yes I knew you'd be the woman for the job." Smiling widely as he complimented you again.

"Can I at least have someone else come with me?" Asking him with nothing but hope in your voice.

"No he requested that only one person be there." Begrudgingly shaking his head disappointment written across your face.

"Fine." Sighing loudly as you stood up facing the door.

"You'll be fine Y/N I promise." He tried making you feel better but all you could do was just nod your head.

Dragging your feet as you walked back to your cubicle your friend was by your desk immediately staring into your soul waiting to hear everything. As you sat down slumping your body in the chair looking up at her. Silently telling her exactly what she was worried about.

"Shut the fuck up." Whispering as you just nodded your head, and she even looked scared for you. "He's making you do the interview."

"Yep at four thirty today." Wishing that you would have just called in sick or something today.

"Could someone at least go with you?" You thought of saying yes, but didn’t want to piss your boss off.

"Nope I already asked apparently this guy doesn't want anybody else there. And of course he wants a woman."

"Damn." Snapping her fingers as she looked at you with sympathy. "Well thank goodness I'm not as good as a journalist as you."

"Yeah we all can't be so lucky as you." Voice fanning with sarcasm it made her giggle.

"Well bring your mace with you."

"Probably not allowed to have anything like that on me just in case." Informing her as she pursed her lips looking away.

"Shit your right." She responded as you laughed at her failed attempt to help.

"But they can't take away my mean right hook." You joked holding your right hand up in a fist as she shook her head at you.

"I hate to break it to you, but your hands are like marshmallows."

Giving her a pathetic chuckle you decided keeping busy until it was time to leave would be the best thing. Except it wasn't cause your mind was racing at the thought of being alone in a room with this man. Unable to stop thinking about what could happen to you there. Even lunch was horrible unable to stomach eating anything at that moment.

Looking at the clock what felt like every ten seconds. Watching at time got closer and closer to leaving. Wishing that you could just skip through time, and avoid doing this interview. Maybe you could play sick and your boss would assign someone else to do it. Your boss wasn't that stupid he'd know right away what you were trying to do.

Wondering to yourself if you should call family and friends to let them know where you are in case anything were to happen. Surely the place would be well guarded enough so nothing would happen to you.

Gathering your things you grabbed your tape recorder shoving it into your purse. Standing up you could see all kinds of looks from everyone. Guessing that word spread very quickly who was the unfortunate soul who had to do this interview.

Your friend looking up at you giving you two thumbs up as you smiled at her. Heading out the front doors and to your car. Breathing through your mouth as you sat in your car for a minute to calm down. This wasn't how you expected you were going to spend the rest of your afternoon.

As you headed down the road you turned on some music hoping that would help put your mind at ease. Telling yourself that it wasn't Joel Mille you were going to interview but someone else, someone who was innocent and kind. That helped at least a little bit easing your nerves.

You never really understood why your town lived pretty close to a maximum state prison, and why you lived in that town. You'd think something like that would scare people off, and not want to live there. The drive wasn't too bad and you found yourself almost calming down.

That dream faded though as soon as you pulled up to the large prison. Noting the tall fences that were lined with thick barbed wires, and towers on every corner with multiple armed guards patrolling the area. You've seen prisons before but this one looked scary and menacing.

"I have an interview with Joel Miller at four thirty." Handing the guard at the gate your ID and work badge. Watching as he scanned them through the system.

"Your gonna pull up to that parking lot over there and go through those double doors where you'll go through metal detectors." He informed you as he handed you your stuff back.

As you thanked him you couldn't help but notice the look of sympathy he gave you. Like he felt bad a woman like you had to be in the same room as a psychopath. Your palms were sweating now as you pulled into an empty spot. Heart felt like it was racing a million beats per second.

"Remove any jewelry you may have and put your purse or bag into the tray and step through the machine." A guard yelled when he saw you walk in looking around.

As you did what he asked you stepped through the detector, and watched your bag going down the conveyor belt. Once they figured you were clean you grabbed your bag, and looked around to see where you needed to go.

"Uh excuse me." Timidly asking a guard catching his attention. "I have an interview at four thirty with Joel Miller, where do I need to go?"

"You'll want to talk to Mr. Briggs first and he'll tell you what to do from there. Go down that hall all the way to the end you'll see his name."

"Thank you." The guard nodding as you turned to where he pointed and walked down the hall.

Once you reached the end you saw his name in bold letter on the door. Knocking on the door you heard shuffling around before a loud voice telling you to come in. Opening the door just enough to step in to see a tall thin man sitting at his desk shuffling through paperwork.

"You must be my brave reporter." Greeting as he looked up at you.

"That would be me." Pathetically waving not sure how to react to things.

"I'm Martin Briggs I'm head of security here." Not knowing what to say you just nodded your head noticing all his certificates and medals he had.

"Well I must say I'm glad we were able to find someone so quickly to do this interview." Smiling widely as he stood up to walk towards you.

"Any chance to do a big story like this I'm in." Trying your best to sound excited and not disgusted, and you knew he could see right through you.

"You know we've had a lot of reporters come in here, but I must say none of them have been as attractive like you."

"Thank you." Standing there awkwardly feeling slightly uncomfortable as his eyes were practically undressing you.

"There are a couple of rules that we have to go over." He coughed as he fiddled with a pen like he was the nervous one.

"Of course." Nodding your head.

"Do not stand too close to the cell. Do not hand him anything or let him hand you anything. If he makes any threats you yell for us and we'll escort you out immediately." His manner and tone very serious. "Do you understand?"

"Yes sir I do." Nodding your head feeling a little lightheaded suddenly.

"Well let's get this thing over with shall we?" Leading you out of his office and back down the same hall.

"I trust you're not nervous?" He asked as you two stepped onto an elevator, and he looked over at you.

"Only a little." You openly admitted.

"Well don't show it cause Joel can tell the nervous ones from confident ones." His words didn't make you feel any better.

"We have him located on the maximum security floor." He continued as you walked down another hallway where you could hear loud voices coming from all around you.

"Why is that?" You asked as you tried to keep up with him.

"He attacked some guards a while back and almost killed them." Feeling your throat closing as you tried swallow the saliva pooling in your mouth.

"Why is he separated from everyone else?" Noticing there was no other cell doors down this hall.

"He doesn't exactly do well with others." Was all he said as you two stopped in front of another gate guarded with some security a loud buzzing went off and the door opened.

"Has he ever gone through any psychiatric evaluation?" You hated to ask but you were curious.

"Oh many times he’s seen all of them." He responded with a scoff. "They've all said the same thing."

"Which was?" You pressed for further explanation and watched as his body language become rigid.

"That he was a lost cause, and couldn’t be helped." Not turning to face you as you continued to walk down a hall.

A couple security guards were standing there as they nodded there heads at you. This was becoming all too real now. This wasn't just some bad dream this was reality. You were literally just a few feet away from a very dangerous man, and anything could happen. There was no turning back at this point.

"This is where I leave you, good luck hun." Patting your shoulder as him and the other guards walked through the gate.

Watching them as they left realizing that you were now alone. Slowly walking down the rest of the hall to the cell he was staying in. As you stood in front of the cell now you saw him laying on the bed his back leaned up against the wall. A book in his hand not bothering to even look up at you.

It was eerily quiet and cold right now. Like something had suddenly shifted around the room, and you were truly in the presence of evil. Not many people could state they stood in front of someone who murdered all those people.

He didn’t look like a serial killer. He looked just like any normal man you would see walking down the streets. He looked too old to be a murdered anyway, noticing his hair and beard were already salt and pepper. You hated how handsome he actually was, the pictures making him look like a feral animal. No wonder women trusted him when they saw him.

"You must be the beautiful Y/N." His words like ice as he spoke your name, his voice had a hint of a southern drawl. The air was thick with tension and the room felt like you were in a sauna.

"How did you know my name?" Trying not to stutter as you talked.

"They informed me of your coming." Joel placing his book down as he looked right at you.

"Well let's get this interview started shall we." Grabbing your tape recorder out as you grabbed a chair leaning against the wall pulling it to face the cell.

"Now Mr. Miller what made you decide to do this interview?" Leaning the recorder closer to him as you were allowed to, your hands trying not to tremble.

"Please call me Joel." He smiled flirtatious and you bit back your tongue from saying what you wanted to not wanting to anger him.

"Joel." The name felt like sand paper scraping on your tongue. "What made you decide to do this interview?"

"Because I'm innocent." His words completely turn you for a spin. Not expecting him to say that.

"Your innocent?" Questioning him to further explain his wild statement. "Are you saying you didn't kill those women?"

"I was framed by someone. Someone that I know very well." He continued as he stood up this time.

"And who is this someone?" Not believing him for one second.

"You don't believe me do you?" Ignoring your question sensing your doubt in his answer.

"It's kind of hard to believe you when your DNA was found all over the crime scene of these murders." Holding the scoff hanging in the back of your throat.

"Like I said I was framed." He repeated his words. "Someone planted my DNA on their bodies."

"Tell me who." You pushed but he just chuckled lightly.

"Does it really matter they've already convicted me, and they want to throw away the key." He didn't sound sad or angry but more of accepting of his fate. A part of you felt sorry for a sliver of a second, but then you remembered the pictures of the crime scenes, and the brutality these women experienced.

"Did you know any of these women?" You continued just wanting to get this interview over and done with.

"Yes I did." He nodded his head as he was standing right in front of the cell bars. "I went on dates with all of them."

"So women you went out with on a date just all wound up dead." You stated out loud to yourself before you could stop the words from leaving your mouth. "Why do you think that is?"

"Because someone had it out for me and wanted me to pay." He seemed certain.

"Seems a little extreme to butcher women all because they've got a problem with you." Squinting your eyes at him as you tried not to laugh at his response.

"People do crazy things when fueled by jealousy and anger." He smiled at you as he sat back down on the bed the springs on the mattress squeaking as he did.

“Spoken like a true killer.” You mumbled hoping he didn’t hear, but judging by the slight smirk on his face he did hear.

"Several psychiatrists stated you deserve to be put to death." Crossing a leg over the other. "Do you agree with them?”

"They were paid to lie." Shaking his head as his fists clenched in his lap. This guy really had a nerve making all these accusations.

"By who?" You asked cocking your head to the side.

"By the same person who framed me for these murders." He stated matter of factly.

"How do you know that?"

"Because I just do."

As you stared at him so many things were running through your mind. That this man really was crazy and murdered all those women, but was just in major denial of it. There is no way someone could have framed him for all these murders and then paid people to lie about it. That something you see in a cliche movie.

Maybe you were his last hope to get his story out there, and someone would read it and want to help him. It seemed a little desperate though after all this time he know wants to reopen all those cases.

"You don't have a husband do you." He stated as you squirmed in your seat. "I noticed you're not wearing a wedding ring."

"Are you scared of commitment?" He continued when he saw the shift in your body language. His questions were becoming a little too personal.

"No." Glaring at him at this point.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" He asked you making you scrunch your brows.

"I don't think that's any of your business." Snapping at him a little harshly.

"It's only fair I get to ask you some questions." He was amused that he was getting to you, and you could tell he was enjoying making you uncomfortable.

"You asked to be interviewed." You scoffed not even bothering to turn off the tape recorder.

"I did." Smirking at you and you hated how easily you fell into his trap.

He was clearly trying to get a rise out of you, and unfortunately it was working. He probably did with most women anyway and got off on making women feel like this. Seeing if he could see which right buttons to push and then proceed with flying colors.

"Why did you want a woman to do this interview Joel?" Now this was something you were genuinely curious about.

"Because women tell the truth and don’t hold back." His response was genuine and it surprised you how honest it was, but you couldn’t tell if he was playing you or not.

"Oh please." Whispering to yourself and Joel chuckled when he heard you.

"Because women give off a sense of safety and comfort. There like a warm blanket to wrap around you when you feel cold or scared. A sense of security if you will."

"Do all women make you feel like that?"

"Not all of them." He looked down again at his hands.

Clicking the tape recorder off you shoved it back inside your bag just wanting to get out of there. This was the most confusing and weirdest interview that you have ever done. His answers didn’t make you feel any better or worse, if anything you didn’t know what to think about him. You just wanted to get out of there and into the safety of your own home.

"I think I've got all I need here." Standing up as you adjusted yourself Joel standing up as well like a gentleman.

“I hope this was to your satisfaction.” Of course it wasn’t you didn’t even want to be here.

“Well let’s just say I won’t be coming back for another chat.” You shot back and he grinned at that.

"Thank you." Joel bowed his head to you in a very creepy way.

"Yeah." You mumbled through your lips as you turned to head back down the hall. Feeling his eyes on you as you walked away.

"See you soon Y/N." His words almost had you stopped in your tracks. They didn't sound menacing or threatening though, but it almost sounded like a warning. As much as you wanted to ask him what he meant you just had to get out of there.

Smacking the button to get out of there the buzzer when off. Swinging the door open and practically jogging out of there the security guards watching you as you left. Mr. Briggs was nowhere in sight and you really didn't want to wait up for him.

He was creepy anyway and would probably try to ask you out anyway. You really didn't feel like dealing with any more men right now. This was almost too much for you, and you wanted to be alone to sit with your thoughts.

Making it to the parking lot you hauled ass out of there and took off down the street. Texting your friend that you were done and that you had survived the interview. All you wanted to do was get home and get into something comfortable, make a nice meal and then go to bed. It was starting to get dark anyway.

As you made it home you almost slumped into bed and called it a night right there. You just wanted to spend the rest of your evening relaxing and not worrying. Today was mentally exhausting for you, and you'd just hope you didn't have to go back. Cause then you really would call in sick.

The time going by quicker than you expected as you checked your phone it see it was almost eleven at night. Turning the tv off you made your way into the bedroom to get ready for bed. After brushing your teeth and doing your routine you jumped into bed, and set your alarm for the next morning.

Placing the covers over yourself as you snuggled into a comfortable position. Closing your eyes as you started to let the darkness of sleep consume you. Until your phone started to ring your eyes snapping wide open to see who was calling you this late

"You better have a good reason for calling me." Your raspy voice answering the phone with a groan.

"Please tell me you're watching the news." Her words rushed and panicked.

"No cause I'm cause I’m trying to go to sleep." Moaning rubbing a hand over your face.

"Turn on the news now." Her words demanding and that woke you up a little bit.

"Okay okay calm down." Shuffling back into your living room as you turned your tv on flipping to your local news.

"We have breaking news coming in from one of our local sources and we have just been informed that convicted serial killer Joel Miller wasn't found in his cell this evening." You were sitting on the edge of your seat now and you wondered if you actually heard those words correctly. "Sources say Joel Miller has escaped from prison and is on the run."

[whorefordaveyork]

OMIGOSH WHAAAAAT THIS IS BRILLIANT 😱🖤

[sayjoel]

I’m in some dire need of manhandling, could you help me with that sir?

i mean…thas’ kinda what i do, so, yes, darlin’..i can absolutely do that for you

[david-10ninch-blog]

@sayjoel @whorefordaveyork @stephtuckerwriting

[whorefordaveyork]

THIS IS PERFECTION!!! 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

hope daddy won’t start charging us for attitude adjustements..

[david-10ninch-blog]

@sayjoel @stephtuckerwriting @whorefordaveyork

[whorefordaveyork]

IT IS SO PRETTYYYYYY!!! 🤩🦄🌈✨💖