I would do it all over again

TLOU • RDR2 • horror-obsessed • she/her • bi • writer • 30s • requests CLOSED • MDNI

[ess-evo]

(all of my works, including this blog, are strictly 18+, MDNI)

This blog contains dark content, everything is tagged appropriately - heed warnings and please take care of yourself

Call me Ess - I'm obsessed with TLOU & RDR2, though I currently only write for TLOU/PPCU. Always down to chat about Joel, Arthur, or really any Pedro character. My asks are open but requests closed for the time being ♡

My masterlist is below the cut 🖤

Series/Collections

Between You and I - smuggler!Joel, fwb!Tommy, Enemies to Lovers [ongoing]

Keep Your 'lectric Eye On Me, Babe - dark!Joel, captivity [completed]

Chance Encounters - romcom!Joel [completed]

The Wrong Assignment - professor!Joel [completed]

You Should Feel Lucky - dark!Joel, stalker!Joel [ongoing]

One Shots

The Last Night - dbf!Joel

Forever’s Not So Long - dark!Joel, bank heist

Your Way Or Mine? - soft dom!Joel, Jackson

Make It Better - dom!Joel, overstimulation

Tuck You In - dom!Joel, somno

Rule Four - dom!Joel, brat taming

Nighttime Confessions - Jackson!Joel

Sharp Objects - dom!Joel, dark!Joel, needle/piercing play

Just Relax - sub!Joel, edging

A New Kind Of Help - sex therapist!Joel

Play Your Best Hand - dark!Clint Flood, Enemies to Lovers

Obligations of Love - Clint Flood, smut and angst

Ficlets/Drabbles

Professor Miller Drabble

Joel Free Use Drabble

Joel Forced Orgasm Drabble

Joel Cockwarming Drabble

Mood Boards

Gas Mask Joel

Joel at Sunset

Joel and His Guitar

[mcthsman]

*MARKING: a joel miller x reader story.

Your boyfriend catches everyone’s eyes. Joel, for the most part, doesn’t seem to notice but you know better: They want him just as much as you do, and you need to figure out a way to keep people away.

click here to join the TAGLIST. / click here for my MAIN MASTERLIST.

warnings: no outbreak, reader is afab, smut, established relationship, hickeys/biting (lots), sub!joel, he's kinda bratty though, no use of y/n & no physical description of reader, posessive!reader, dirty talk, cowgirl, creampie, a little bit of edging/teasing, petnames, a little bit of cockwarming/stuffing, brief nipple play (m receiving), idk how old joel is in this i pictured him like late 30s but there is a brief viagra mention oops.

rating: 18+.

word count: 2k. (i think this might be my shortest work yet??)

fox says: hi friends, thank you for reading! this is based off of this request by @corderamuerta! i sort of went a little beyond what the request mentioned and added a little bit (a lot) of subby!joel bc it just.... kind of worked out that way idk but i hope this still fits well for the request!! pictures are for aesthetics only, there's no mention of reader's physical appearance or anything!! as always pls let me know how we feel.

also available on archiveofourown.

You’ve never been particularly possessive of others before— Most of your boyfriends never caught much attention apart from yours and, in all honesty, you never loved them enough to feel threatened by anyone else. With Joel, however, you always find yourself sticking a little closer to his side, your hands roaming his shoulders a little bit more obviously whenever the two of you are out. He’s never given you a reason to feel intimidated, but you’ve never been with a man as attractive as Joel Miller. 

He catches everyone’s eyes. The cashier at your favorite food truck, the teller at the bank, the security guard at the mall; everyone stares with varying degrees of want and need. Joel, for the most part, doesn’t seem to notice: He thinks the cashier is staring because he orders way too many olives on his fish taco, and the teller because she’s trying to figure out if he’s going to rob the place, the security guard is just doing his job at keeping the weird man in check at Victoria’s Secret. 

But you know better. They want him just as much as you do, and you need to figure out a way to keep people away. 

The first time you give him a hickey, Joel laughs it off. He says something about being too damned old for that but you notice the way his fingers tighten on your hips, the way his breath stutters and how he doesn’t ever try to pull away— The mark is on his chest, hidden away with any t-shirt, but every time you see it brings a thrill that you’ve never felt before, the little ‘O’ shaped bruise going from deep purple to a soft blue to green to finally fading entirely. You actually miss it when it’s gone, your fingers tracing the pattern you’ve memorized over his chest as the two of you lie in the afterglow one evening.

“What’re ya doin’?” Joel asks when you lean over him, his chest still shiny with sweat. You poke your tongue out, running over his nipple, tasting and testing. His breath stutters, a hand coming up to the back of your neck. “Not sure I can go again so quick, sugar.” 

You chuckle against his skin, climbing over him as you nose his pecks, your mouth going from one nipple to the other. 

“You don’t have to.” You tell him, your naked body molding against his as you move upwards, your teeth dragging across his chest until you reach the hollow of his throat. 

Joel whimpers when your mouth latches onto his skin, biting and suckling until his hips are buckling up into yours, his fingers digging into your love handles as if he’s unsure whether he wants to pull you close or push you away. 

“Goddamnit, woman.” There’s no real heat to his voice, and you grin when he tilts his head backwards, giving you better access to the column of his throat. “Everyone’s gon’ see it.” 

“Good.” You say, your tongue running over his Adam’s apple before you bite down onto the side of his neck. “Let them all know you’re mine.” 

Joel chuckles. “ ‘S that what I am?”

You pull back just enough to stare at him, one eyebrow raised, both of your hands sprawled on his chest. “Are you not, Miller?”

“Of course I am.” He says and, this time, his voice doesn’t carry any of the teasing it did before. Joel’s hands run up your sides, his callouses catching on the soft skin above your ribcage. “ ‘M all yours.” 

His whispered words make you shiver, the weight and truth of them settling somewhere deep inside your core. You shift, fully straddling him now, Joel’s soft cock brushing against your ass when he grips you. 

“Say it again.” 

“I’m yours.” Joel tells you, his brown eyes locked into yours. “Just yours, sugar.”

The kiss you share is bruising, teeth clacking against each other, your nose pushing against his as his hands dig into you, pulling your naked body as close as it’s physically possible. Joel whines when you bite down onto his bottom lip just on the side of too hard, his hips bucking against you; you’re still so wet from your slick and his come that you slide against his navel, your clit catching on his pelvic bone. Your mouth goes from his lips to his jawline, sucking hard on the little patch next to his chin where his beard doesn’t really grow. 

“Baby—” Joel says, and you can’t tell if it’s a warning or a plea. Your teeth scrape against his jaw when you turn your face to the side, latching onto his pulse point. 

“Say it.” 

“I’m yours.” He says it quicker this time, unthinking, his head thrown back against the pillow. You leave another mark behind, the redness already deepening by the time you bite down on the soft of his collarbone. “Let me— I need to be inside’a you.”

Joel turns a little, reaching for the bedside table where you know he keeps the blue little pills he swears are for ‘emergencies only’ but you swat his hand away. 

“Leave it.” You say, leaning back so grab a hold of Joel’s half hard cock and he raises an eyebrow at you, hesitating for a moment before he finally leans back. “I want you hard because of me, not because of the pills.” 

Joel opens his mouth, but you shush him with a kiss. You know his desire for you isn’t at stake here. You know that it happens and that his refractory period is going to get longer with age and stress and that it’s not a you problem or a him problem but you don’t want to hear it at that moment. Instead, you kiss him until Joel is writhing underneath you, panting into your mouth. 

It’s not easy, or sexy, when you finally push Joel’s only half hard cock inside of you. You’re still wet and open enough that you’re able to sit somewhat comfortable on him but it’s not exactly easy to do so, and Joel needs to help you at one point, hissing through his teeth as you sink little by little. You run your hands over his chest once Joel is fully sheathed inside of you, your nails dragging over the dark hairs there, thumbing his nipples in the way you know he likes.

The power you feel when you watch him from above, a trail of purple bruises down his neck and chest contrasting even more with how furiously his skin is blushing, isn’t something you can quite explain. You wish you could reach for your phone, take a picture or a thousand of him like this, hairs standing on ends, panting even though neither of you are moving, his eyes hazy from desire. 

“I love you.” He says, the words stuttering and mending together when you start to move your hips back and forth, just a little bit. “I love you.”

“I know.” You smile, leaning down so you can latch your mouth to his shoulder, the muscles rippling under you. “And everyone’s gonna know too.” 

You can feel him hardening inside of you, thickening and pulsing as you speed up the movements a little— Not yet bouncing, just teasing, circling your hips the best you can as you press your chest down onto his. Joel’s hands knead your asscheeks and you know bite down hard when he tries to use it as leverage to dictate the pace. 

“Nuh-uh.” You soothe the bite with your tongue, tracing the indents of your teeth before you pull back. You peck him on the lips, lightly, restraining yourself from biting his bottom lip again— You don’t want to hurt him, not really, just enough to leave traces of your presence behind. “You take what I give you.” 

Joel’s chest rumbles underneath you, somewhere between a laugh and a moan— That’s a sentence you’ve stolen straight from his books, the sort of taunting you’ve heard time and time again when Joel is in a teasing mood. 

“Is this payback?” He asks, but he’s grinning ear to ear. 

“Maybe.” You lift yourself just slightly before sinking down onto him again. “Or maybe I’m just figuring out why you like bossing me around so much.” 

“You’re a real menace, ain’t ya?”

“Oh, am I?” You raise your hips a little, hands pressing down onto Joel’s chest as you hold the position. “Want me to stop?”

“Please don’t.” The tendons on Joel’s neck strain as he holds himself back and your stomach flutters at the knowledge that he could easily flip the two of you over but, no matter how many seconds pass before you sink back onto him, Joel remains still. “I’ll be good— Just please don’t stop, sugar, c’mon.”

You’re uncertain if you’re taking pity on him or on yourself but you finally allow your body to move at a pace that has you moaning above him, fingernails digging into Joel’s chest as you chase your pleasure; Joel doesn’t seem to mind, his fingers grasping whatever part of you that he can reach, his big hands roaming from your ass to your hips to your chest and then back to your ass— He plants his feet on the mattress, hips bucking upwards into yours.

“Fuck, Joel—” You lose rythm but he’s right there, pistoning his hips up while he pulls you down onto him, your clit grinding against him with every thrust. “Joel.”

“That’s right, baby.” He grunts, fingers bruising your hips with how much he grips you. “Say my name— Tell me who’s the only one that makes you feel like this.”

That snaps you back to reality. You dig the heels of your palms onto his chest, and Joel groans when you push into a particularly sore bruise— A groan of pain, this time, and he frowns up at you. 

“No!” You whine, taking the hands that are gripping your hips and pinning them above his head; Joel interlocks his fingers with yours so fast you think he might not even be aware that he’s done it. “I’m in charge here. You don’t get to make me feel anything.” 

Joel gives you a small, toothy grin. He looks boyish like that, smiling up at you, his curls a mess where they sprawl over his forehead and pillow. 

“Yes, ma’am.” He says, but his hips still ondulate one last time before he finally lets his weight fall back onto the mattress. 

This time, when you move, you’re not thinking about Joel’s pleasure. With your hands in his, both still pinned above Joel’s head, you move for yourself, hips circling and bucking until you find the right position, the tilt of your hips that has the head of his cock brushing up on just the right spot inside of you. 

Joel comes inside of you with a strangled cry, his fingers squeezing yours as he holds onto you just as much as you hold onto him, the tendons on his neck straining as he struggles to stay still. It makes for the prettiest picture, you think, having Joel like this— Teeth clenched, chest flushed, his neck and torso littered with red and purple shapes that you put there; the man that is always such a fortress, big and strong and capable, turned into a bruised, whining mess underneath you. 

You ride him all through your own orgasm until your legs and lungs are burning, your slick and his come slipping out of you as Joel’s cock softens. You let yourself topple over him, your nose bumping against his jawline as you rest on the crook of his shoulder. Joel finally lets your hands go, his arms wrapping around you, both of you clammy with sweat and spit. You poke your tongue out, circling a particularly nasty bruise on his pulse point. 

“I’m goin’ to get ripped to fuckin’ shreds at work tomorrow.” Joel says but you can hear the smile in his voice. 

“Poor Joelie.” You coo. “Got fucked for an inch of his life and now everyone will know.”

“Fuckin’ menace.” Joel barks out a laugh, tilting his head enough to press an open-mouthed kiss to your lips. “You’re lucky I love you, pretty girl.” 

And you know. By God, you know.

taglist one: @ptolemaea444 @time-for-my-weekly-spanking @shadowqueen2024 @daniel-bruhhl @ohtiramisuu @honey-moon-13 @pearlessance @mytearsricochetm @taniamiller @pedroncigarettes @clocksonthewall79  @speaktothehandpeasants @msboblikestoread @amourflores @crazycat-ladys-blog @opal-sunshine @aphroditekillz @sealpointsiamese @realultracunt @somedayheaven @brimarthedragon @fhuehfbru @violatedvibrators @roses-n-rads @shrewdreader @dmclazybread @imjustaprettyprincess @entoxicant @findoesntgiveashit @thescxrpio @muertera

[ess-evo]

Yum yum yummy yum!! Oh my god. What I wouldn’t give 🫠 ugh I love the subby undertones and how he just becomes putty in her hands. This is perfect and I know I will be reading this one again. 🖤🖤

[baronessvonglitter]

My favorites from the month of May! Please mind the tags for each fic, and give the authors some love 💜

past fic recs

Joel Miller

Baby Mine , part 2, part 3 by @tateypots

Broken after losing Ellie to the fireflies Joel finds himself a new purpose when he’s taken in by a man and his daughter.

banana cream pie by @kiraavi

Joel is heading home after another long haul when he pulls into the travel center for the night. He's been struggling with his attraction to the waitress that works at the diner there, and is tempted to avoid you completely. The promise of coffee and an opportunity to stretch his legs, however, lures him in on a night you just so happen to be working the graveyard shift.

Closer by @time-for-my-weekly-spanking

Trying to control her attraction to you was one of the hardest things Tess had ever done. But she'd succeeded. Until you made it clear how much you wanted to get closer to her. For Joel, falling into this scenario was just the natural closing of the circle.

Heaven or Hell by @aurorawritestoescape

Joel helps you to master self-control - OR - your stepdad makes you cockwarm him.

A kid's dreams by @petalsinblood

When a child has big dreams and a little brother who he really loves, the world of possiblities seem endless when looking into the future.

Lead Me Not Into Temptation - part 23 by @tateypots

Season of the Wolf by @mcthsman

The giant wolf that has been killing people around town shares a very striking feature with the quiet man that keeps breaking into your home— They both have the saddest, warmest brown eyes you've ever seen.

Clint Flood

Obligations of Love by @ess-evo

Clint is the man of your dreams. You're planning a wedding; every day with him is filled with love and affection, so then why do you have a knot in your stomach every time he leaves home?

Frankie Morales

Over the Andes by @bergamote-catsandbooks

Tom yells "Are we really leaving 200 million on the fucking runway?" Frankie sighs "OK, she'll make it." What if Frankie had said something else? What if he had said no and stood up to Tom? Two years after these events, Frankie, Will, Benny, Santi, and Tom have made it over the Andes with a significant amount of money. But what happened there has changed the dynamics between the group of men, these brothers in arms. All of it culminates the moment you enter Frankie's life, leading to another decision he and his brothers will have to make, one that might shatter them.

Max Phillips

The Night Shift by @inept-the-magnificent

Lucien de Leon

like a stranger, or it's the living that kills you by @tinytinymenace

Lucien goes to a party, and meets a former ingenue.

Javier Peña

Somewhere only we know by @milla-frenchy

it’s a story about two people who are very dear to each other, but too scared to turn their friendship into something else. They search for each other in other people and places until fate brings them back together at the right time

Din Djarin

Human by @petalsinblood

When Din is forced to be without his helmet, the reality hits him harder than he expects.

Loving You Had Consequences by @604to647

Din learns of your engagement.

Yours To Tame by @604to647

Worried, Din goes after you amidst a rainstorm.

Ezra

Persistence by @insomniamamma

Self Recs

Endorphins ~ personal trainer!Joel Miller x f!reader

The hot personal trainer in your neighborhood gives you a one-on-one session.

Read My Mind ~ Marcus Moreno x f!telepath!reader

On your first date with Marcus, you reveal a big secret about yourself.

Video Vixen ~ Dave York x camgirl!reader

You're Dave's favorite camgirl and his ultimate fantasy. Could he ever see you as anything else?

[ess-evo]

Thank you for including my fic, love!! 🖤😘

[itspapillonnoir]

RED DEAD REDEMPTION II ᨖ

[robertfagden]

a tumblr mutual is a type of soulmate

[ess-evo]

My May Fic Recs! 🌿

Please reblog what you read and heed warnings on all fics. Enjoy! 🖤

Joel Miller

You drew stars around my scars - @maroonpascal - what they say about the North Star is real, you and Joel realise that as your roads have crossed again, for good.

Paloma (epilogue) - @millermouth - Joel Miller is back home running his family’s ranch, the work coming back to him easily even as the house fills with the memories of what happened thirty years ago. He hires a young farm hand, expecting nothing more than help around the barn. Instead, he finds someone just as lost as he is.

feral (part thirteen) - @mcthsman - Part man, part beast, Joel Miller lives in solitude a few miles away from Jackson. At fifty-seven years old and without a Soulbond, Joel can't coexist with others— a man without his mate crazed by time and age. Until the day he sees her, the girl with tangerine blossoms in her hair and a laugh that echoes through the trees. So, he tracks her down. Hunts her through the woods, and brings home a girl that is not the wilting flower he expects.

season of the wolf (parts 1-3) - @mcthsman - The giant wolf that has been killing people around town shares a very striking feature with the quiet man that keeps breaking into your home— They both have the saddest, warmest brown eyes you've ever seen.

bite the hand (chapter one) - @cordycepskiss - From the moment Joel Miller saw you, he was hooked. Twenty four hours a day. Seven days a week. All spent obsessing over every detail of you. When your picture perfect moment was ruined by an unexpected obstacle, Joel knows what he has to do. Anything for his girl. Anything for what's rightfully his.

Baby Mine - @tateypots - Broken after losing Ellie to the fireflies Joel finds himself a new purpose when he’s taken in by a man and his daughter.

Taxi Driver - @milla-frenchy - you have an affair with Joel, a taxi driver. He is obsessed with you

Piece of You - @aurorawritestoescape - there’s a rule in Joel’s house — you give him a hard-on, you deal with it!

Be My Guest - @aurorawritestoescape - working as a hotel housekeeper, you meet a handsome guest under quite unexpected circumstances. An awkward conversation leads to a friendly relationship that grows into something none of you expects.

Love on the Brain - @time-for-my-weekly-spanking - As a storm rages over Jackson, you finally confront the man who saved you. And who has chosen to ignore you, even though you're forced to live in the same house. You’re pretty much convinced he hates you. And like a flash of lightning that tears through the sky and lights up the night, the truth finally dawns before your eyes. And maybe it's not what you expected…

taking care - @rainy-day-gracie - Joel takes care of you, whether you know it or not.

Sweet Escape - @reedispunk - One week; that's all you need to survive without succumbing to the suffocating temptation of the wellness retreat's most unlikely client, Joel Miller.

Lucien de Leon

Shameless - @milla-frenchy - you ask Lucien to come over and he does exactly what you need him to

Ellie Williams

boyfriend / comphet - @s-creamforwlw - You are like, super gay and super closeted

[video-store-clerk]

If you don't talk to your girl while you are eating her pussy, telling her how good she tastes, how pretty it is, or just straight up moaning as you suck her clit between your lips, you aren't doing it right.

[lotusbxtch]

[sawymredfox]

[daddysdecayingdoll]

you wish that was you huh

[s-creamforwlw]

comphet

Pairing: plug!Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader Word Count: ~ 1,8k Modern College AU part two to "boyfriend"

Warnings: drug use, infidelity/cheating, detailed kissing, internalized homophobia & sexuality crisis

A/N: hi guys! i am still alive and well, dont worry. i had some life ending exams and i still am not done with them. so if yu never hear from me again i got murdered by education. anyway. i will be more free and done with them fully by the end of the first half of june. so wait for me for a bit. i heard you all. i received crazy amounts of asks about boyfriend part two. so here it is. i hope you like it. as always, i have not reread it. because i am pretty sure that if i did, i would not like the plot. so deal with it.

You don’t text Ellie for nine days.

Not because you don’t want to. You type out messages at 2 a.m., delete them, type them again, then throw your phone across the room like it’s personally betraying you. The bag she sold you sits in the back of your desk drawer like evidence. Every time you look at it you remember the purple glow on her ceiling, the way her shoulder felt against yours, solid and warm through two layers of fabric, and the casual way she said “you’re just gay” like it was the weather.

Your boyfriend, Jake, is still perfect on paper. He brings you oat milk lattes before your 8 a.m. lectures, kisses your temple when you’re stressed, asks about your stats grade like he actually cares. You kiss him back and feel… nothing. Not disgust. Just flatline. Like kissing a very nice pillow.

So when the second Friday after That Night rolls around and your roommate is out at some frat thing, you smoke way too much alone in your dorm. You’re not even sure why. One hit turns into four, turns into coughing so hard you see stars, turns into lying on your back staring at the popcorn ceiling while your thoughts scream.

Everything feels too loud. The way your skin prickles under your clothes. The memory of Ellie’s freckles. The fact that you googled “how to know if you’re a lesbian” at 3 a.m. last Tuesday and then immediately cleared your search history like the FBI was watching. You’re high as hell and suddenly the walls are closing in and the only person who knows the ugly crying version of you is Ellie Williams, weed dealer and apparent part-time gay crisis counselor.

You pull on a hoodie over your sleep shirt (some oversized thing Jake left here) and shove your feet into sneakers without socks. Your hair is a mess. You don’t care. You text her before you can chicken out.

you: hey it’s cass’s friend. the one who cried in your living room. you around?

The reply comes faster than you expect.

ellie: yeah. door’s open if you’re quick

You almost laugh. Almost.

The walk to her duplex feels longer this time. The air is colder, late October biting through your hoodie. Your hands shake in your pockets the whole way. When you get there the door is cracked open like she said, warm light spilling out onto the porch. You knock anyway, polite to a fault even when you’re disintegrating.

Ellie appears in the doorway wearing the same faded black t-shirt as last time, or maybe a different one. They all look the same. Her hair’s messier, like she’s been running her hands through it. She’s got a joint already burning between her fingers.

“You look fucked up,” she says, not unkindly.

“I am,” you admit.

She steps aside without another word.

Inside it’s the same purple LED glow, but the coffee table has more chaos now—empty energy drink cans, a sketchbook open to some half-finished drawing of a moth, a controller on the floor. The couch has a blanket thrown over it like she was napping there. It smells like weed and the faint piney soap she probably uses.

You hover in the middle of the room like an idiot.

Ellie drops back onto the couch and looks up at you, one eyebrow raised. “You here for more weed or another emotional breakdown? Because I charge double for therapy.”

“Both?” Your voice cracks. You laugh at how stupid you sound, but it comes out shaky.

She studies you for a second, that same assessing look from last time. Then she shrugs. “Whatever, man. Sit.”

You sit. Too close maybe. Your thigh almost touches hers. She doesn’t move away.

She passes you the joint without asking. You take it, fingers brushing hers, and this time you don’t cough as hard. The smoke curls in your lungs and spreads out like warm syrup. The high you already had doubles, triples. Your body sinks heavier into the cushions.

For a while it’s quiet. Just the low hum of whatever indie rock playlist she has going and the occasional car passing outside.

Then you start talking.

“I keep thinking about what you said,” you murmur, staring at the ceiling. “That I’m just gay. I can’t stop thinking about it. I tried to… I don’t know. Unthink it. But then Jake kissed me yesterday and I felt like I was cheating on someone I haven’t even met yet.”

Ellie exhales smoke through her nose. “Damn. A tale as old as time.”

“Yeah. Damn.” You take another hit. Your head is swimming. “I don’t even know what I’m doing here. You’re basically a stranger. But you’re also the only… person like me that I know. And I’m so fucking high right now.”

She chuckles softly. “I can tell.”

You turn your head to look at her. She’s already watching you. The purple light catches in her eyes, makes the green look almost unreal. Her freckles stand out more up close. You count them without meaning to. One near the corner of her mouth. Another on her eyelid.

“You’re really pretty,” you blurt.

Ellie blinks. Then she laughs, surprised. “Okay, you’re really high.”

“I mean it.” Your face burns but you can’t stop. “I noticed last time but I was crying too much to say it. You have nice hands. And your arms look like you could… I don’t know. Carry stuff. Heavy stuff.”

She rubs a hand over her face, smirking. “Jesus Christ.”

“Sorry. I’m being so weird.”

“You’re not.” She pauses. “Well. You are. But it’s fine.”

The silence stretches again, but it’s different now. Thicker. Charged. Your heart is hammering so loud you’re sure she can hear it. The high makes everything feel immediate, every nerve ending awake. You’re aware of the way your hoodie rides up on your stomach, the brush of your bare thigh against the couch, the way Ellie’s knee is only inches from yours.

“I’ve never kissed a girl,” you whisper.

Ellie goes still.

You keep going because the words won’t stop. “I’ve thought about it. A lot. Like… way too much. In class. In the library. When Jake’s asleep next to me. I feel disgusting about it but I can’t stop.”

She turns toward you fully now. Her expression is unreadable, that casual “whatever man” mask cracking just a little. “You’re playing with fire coming here like this, you know that?”

“I know.” Your voice is barely audible. “I just… I needed to tell someone. And you’re here. And you’re… you.”

Ellie stares at you for a long moment. Then she mutters, “Fuck it,” under her breath.

She leans in slowly, giving you every chance to pull away. You don’t.

The first touch of her lips is soft. Tentative. Nothing like Jake’s confident, practiced kisses. Ellie’s mouth is warm and a little chapped and tastes like weed and the cherry chapstick she must use. Your brain short-circuits. You make a small, embarrassing sound in the back of your throat.

She pulls back an inch. “Still okay?”

You answer by kissing her again, clumsier this time, more eager. Your noses bump. She laughs quietly against your mouth and tilts her head, guiding you. One of her hands comes up to rest lightly on your jaw, thumb brushing your cheek. The other stays on the couch between you like she’s trying to keep some control.

It’s silly. You’re both a little too high, a little too awkward. Your teeth click once. You don’t know where to put your hands so you settle for gripping the front of her t-shirt like it’s a lifeline. She tastes new. Different. Better. The realization hits you like a truck: this is what it’s supposed to feel like. This spark, this melting warmth low in your stomach, the way your skin feels electric where she touches you.

Ellie makes a low sound when you press closer, half sigh, half something else. She deepens the kiss, tongue brushing yours shyly at first, then bolder. You melt into it. Your brain is full of static and stars and the smell of her, smoke and soap and something uniquely Ellie.

When you finally break apart you’re both breathing hard. Your lips feel swollen. Her eyes are darker, pupils blown wide from the high and something else.

“Shit,” she mutters, resting her forehead against yours.

“Yeah,” you agree, voice shaky. A giggle bubbles up out of nowhere. “That was… I just kissed a girl.”

Ellie grins, crooked and real. “You did. How was it?”

“Terrifying.” You laugh again, the sound giddy and loose. “Really good. Can we do it again?”

She rolls her eyes but she’s smiling. “You’re being greedy.”

You kiss her again before she can say anything else. This time it’s slower, more exploratory. You map the shape of her mouth, the little scar on her bottom lip you hadn’t noticed before. Her hand slides into your hair, fingers tangling gently. When she tugs just right you shiver so hard she notices.

“Easy,” she murmurs against your lips. “We’re not doing anything crazy tonight. You’re still figuring shit out.”

“I know.” You kiss the corner of her mouth, then her cheek, then the freckles on her nose because you can. “I just… I needed this. Needed to know what it felt like.”

Ellie lets you. She even tilts her head so you can reach more of her face. You end up half in her lap somehow, hoodie unzipped, her hands resting respectfully on your waist over your shirt. You kiss until your lips are numb and your jaw aches and the high starts to level out into something softer, warmer. Every so often one of you pulls back and you just look at each other, breathing the same air.

At some point you end up lying down, your head on her chest, her arm around your shoulders. The couch is too small for both of you but neither of you moves. Her heartbeat is steady under your ear.

“You’re gonna have to deal with your boyfriend situation,” she says quietly after a while, fingers tracing slow circles on your arm.

“I know.” The words feel heavy but not as terrifying as before. “Not tonight though.”

“Not tonight,” she agrees.

You tilt your head up to look at her. “Can I come back? Even if it’s just to… talk. Or this. Whatever this is.”

Ellie looks down at you, her expression uncharacteristically soft. “Yeah. You can come back.”

You smile and hide your face in her shirt. She smells like home in a way nothing else ever has. Nothing is solved. But for the first time, curled against Ellie Williams on her worn-out couch with the taste of her still on your lips, the future doesn’t feel like a trap.

It feels like a question you’re finally brave enough to ask.

[ess-evo]

hot. 🥵 dealer!ellie is always so ugh 😩 i love how smug she is with just the right amount of tenderness.

[pedroncigarettes]

[luckieangel]

giving him head and looking up at him with big, soft eyes and he throws his head back in pleasure but also because he’ll cum right then and there if he stares at you for too long

[simpingforjoel]

I’d like to conduct an experiment with dr. richards which involves a hair tie, heavy eye contact and the pants of his cute jammies around his ankles for purely scientific reasons

[sawymredfox]

@simpingforjoel I’d love to participate in this experiment!🫠 And what about Javi Gutierrez? Maybe he’s sitting on the couch? Legs open to give enough space to fit? One hand covers his eyes while the other caresses his lady’s neck, just following the movement of her head... groaning… trying his best… his whole body shaking… until his gaze lowers done one more time, crossing paths with hers… the eye contact is heated… the intimacy is loud and powerful… and he’s done😮‍💨😮‍💨

[ess-evo]

Joel Miller can be added to this list… he tries to stay calm, still, letting you take him the way that you want to. But then it gets a little too good. His fingers grip your hair and he can’t help but move his hips just slightly. And then he looks down. It’s too much. He throbs more than he’d like to and has to look away quickly. The sounds you’re making, the way your eyes water as you look up at him. He doesn’t want to finish, but he can’t help it. His groans fill the room despite his best efforts to hold it all in.

[mcthsman]

*wip whenever.

thank you sooooo much @petalsinblood @queenofslowburn & @baronessvonglitter for tagging me in this!! i haven't written much this week because i was busy & also not human but i'm two quarters into the next chapter of season of the wolf and i really wanted to share it so here it is!! this may be giving too much away from the chapter and it's... kind of a big spoiler?? but also i had this scene planned since before i started writing the story and i can't wait to share it here we are pls don't hate me content warning for reader being very drunk and stupid and getting slut shamed.

“I don—” The words are cut out by a rancid hiccup. “I couldn’t do that— Joel— I can’t do that to him.”

“Joel?” She says the name like it’s rotten in her mouth. “The stalker that you think killed a bunch of people? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

And suddenly Céline’s concern for you twists into something else, something with teeth. You laugh, short and watery before it turns into tears. 

“Oh, I know he killed people. Every one of ‘em.” You sob, shaking your head. You shouldn’t say it, you know you shouldn’t, but the secret that has been bubbling inside of you spill out before you can consider holding back. “Killed his fucking wife too. I ran.” You wave your hand towards the truck, wobbling to the side before you regain a little stability. “Stole his fucking truck and ran. But I miss him. I fuckin’— Fuck. I love him.”

The silence that follows is suffocating. Oliver pokes their head through the door but Céline waves them back inside without taking her eyes off of you. 

“You don’t love him.” She shakes her head. The drunken flush is gone from her face, replaced with a sickly paleness. “You’re just desperate.”

“I love him.” You whine, your breath coming in ragged between the tears. “I do, Cél, I fucking love him so—”

“No, you don’t! You think you do because he’s the first person to look at you twice. I mean, c’mon sweetheart, we both know you’d fuck a horse if it gave you enough attention.”

You can tell she regrets the words as soon as they come out, her breath stuttering as she says your name as if she’s shocked with herself for saying it but you’re not listening anymore. You climb into the truck through the passenger seat, sliding to the driver’s side as Céline begs you not to drive. She’s sorry and you’re both drunk and she doesn’t mean it but you don’t listen. You just rev the engine and speed out of the parking lot.

no pressure tag: @cozymochaa @time-for-my-weekly-spanking @mytearsricochetm @ess-evo @broad-shouldrs @honey-moon-13 @hanahleah @isabellaboo2025 @shadowqueen2024 @peepawmiller (i know some of u are going through writer's block and i love u but also this has no expiration date so i'm tagging in case yall wanna do it later when inspiration strikes!!!)

[ess-evo]

ugh I love this series sm 🖤😭

[milla-frenchy]

will the next part of never tear us apart be coming soon? I’m so excited to to see that inevitable reunion! It’s going to be so emotional 😭

hey anon ❤️

I'm working on it rn, it's almost finished 🥰 It needs some editing and beta ing, but I hope to post it in a few days 🙏

This part made me emotional as I was writing it, these two went through a lot 🥺 I hope you'll like this next part, thank you so much for stopping by and leaving me such a nice comment ❤️❤️❤️

Never tear us apart series

[aurorawritestoescape]

[ess-evo]

i’m soooo excited for this 🖤🖤

[sentientsky]

repeating this to myself forever and ever

[baronessvonglitter]

Wip Wednesday!

Thanks @604to647 @shadowqueen2024 and @milla-frenchy for the tags 🖤

Yes this week has more Joel 😍 you’re driving alone in a little town famous for its prison.. and a few escaped convicts. And of course you pick up the hot guy who needs a ride..

(I wrote this in a frenzy last night and I might edit later)

"You can turn the engine off, darlin'. No sense in wastin' gas." He reaches over and turns off the ignition, taking a moment to caress your cherry keychain, the texture soft and knitted, a present from your best friend before you left home. The simple action draws your attention, puts a spike in your heartbeat. "Yeah, I got a brother. He lives in Wyoming." Letting go of the keychain his hand brushes against your bare knee, a touch so light it's almost nonexistent except for the fact that it sends a zing straight to your core. "Y'know, in my day, women wore skirts," he murmurs to himself before pulling away.

Your brows raise, unsure which comment thread to follow. "Wyoming? I thought he was close by.. you said you were going to call him for help." You can still feel the ghost of his touch on your skin.

"I did say that, didn't I?" He looks a little amused, leaning back in the passenger seat. "You always believe everythin' ya hear?"

NPT @mcthsman @time-for-my-weekly-spanking @tateypots @ess-evo and anyone who wants to play along 😊

[asynca]

[x]

[kyloispunk]

Did someone say BROAD???

The updated version with Clint🤍

(I did not create these gifs, credits to the amazing owners- middle gif by @iamasaddie)

Just going to continue to add to this post until I die

Shoutout @copperhalfcent🩶 Definitely have to add Harry!

FRANKIE!!! (thanks @intheorangebedroom 🧡)