This and This and This

29 | she/her | Where old memes go to die

[sivavakkiyar]

you know back then they didn’t use to romanticize the past

[catchymemes]

[beardedmrbean]

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

villain going to the goon shelter to pick out a new henchman

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

this energetic and diabolical boy was rescued from a goon hoarding situation… he loves pulling levers, gloating, and turning cranks with great abandon. prefers to be the only goon. needs an active lair with plenty of enrichment.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

now this fella comes with some baggage. his previous villain was going to have put down when he refused to perform unsedated human vivisection as a form of torture. one of our agents intercepted the execution and brought him to the goon shelter. would thrive in an environment of G or PG-rated villainry.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

on the other hand, if you’re looking for something a little more… advanced… then this fine lady over here would make a great challenge for an experienced villain able to set firm boundaries. she will NOT be released to first-time villains; proof of prior henchpeople must be demonstrated before adoption approval. high prey drive. under no circumstances should she be left alone with children or small animals. must sign waiver releasing the goon shelter from responsibility if her behavior is deemed excessively depraved.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

These two are pair-bonded and may only be adopted together. Up for anything, they are fiercely loyal to their employer provided their needs are met and they are permitted to hold hands. They look alarmingly similar to one another but it is undeterminable whether they are close blood relatives or lovers who choose to dress and style themselves in identical ways. Habit of finishing each other’s sentences with rhyming couplets; we have not attempted to train this out of them. Will answer to whatever names or titles you give them so long as they are complimentary and/or rhyme.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Will you help this goon find his forevil lair? He’s been returned to the goon shelter six times now but we refuse to give up on him. A vile little rat of a man, he’d be the perfect accomplice to someone willing to overlook his unfortunate heterosexuality. If gay-coding is not your style and you don’t expect it from a henchman, please consider giving this little guy a good home in your dastardly schemes.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

This guy is not your typical goon. He was rescued from a high-kill shelter after being deemed unfit for henching. His deep baritone voice, his darkly handsome good looks, and his flair for the dramatic have made prospective employers pass over him time and time again, making him the longest resident of the goon shelter. But don’t judge a book by its cover—while his appearance and demeanor suggest “villain”, his real passion is taking orders and faithfully serving a master. If you’re secure in your villainry and not prone to jealousy, he may just be what it takes to turn your base into a lair.

[femmchantress]

I don’t care if Monday’s yuck

Tuesday, Wednesday tread through muck

Thursday maybe eat a duck

It’s Friday, Flat as Fuck

[fortitudinis]

[eebie]

I just ate one

[eebie]

You can lie when you name things

[tsarina-anadyomene]

i love when wikipedia has a really high quality scan of a painting

[tsarina-anadyomene]

let me zoom on your painting

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/64/Titian_-Venus_with_a_Mirror-_Google_Art_Project.jpg

[psykocharm]

would you guys like to see a real illustration from an actual published scientific paper? of course you would

link to the paper

[zordonmlw7]

Hey op kinda buried the lead. This isn't just some illustration. ITS THE ABSTRACT.

[stellanix]

my mushoomb,, :D

[chemkitt]

one musruum..

[starknesskenobi]

I'm sorry but drama in classic literature can't be topped like what do you mean your solider husband didn't drown so your horny neighbor shoots him and then you marry the sheep herder that's been in love with you for years

[yviisxo]

rest in peace to this diva

[97642]

[transfemininomenon]

today’s date is the 3rd? what’s next, the 4th? the 5th? the minor fall, the major lift? 

[agnesmontague]

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

[stellarskyes]

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

[agnesmontague]

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

[bungcar]

[deareadersmanuscript-deactivate]

This is the cutest and you will not convince me otherwise.

[maglorslostsilmaril]

aragorn needs to be 10x weirder in all tolkien content. he’s too manly for elves. he’s too elvish for men. he roleplayed his crush’s grandpa, and then married her even though they were kinda siblings by adoption. he deals with his feelings by singing. he’s a horse girl. he was raised by elrond peredhel. he had the weight of the world placed on his shoulders when he was still an emo teen. everywhere he goes people think he’s lowkey a freak. let him own it.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

I see your “Rocky swears like a sailor but only in pitches humans can’t hear/refuses to teach Grace what those words mean” and raise you “Rocky swears like a sailor and now has to explain to Grace that ‘bad bad bad’ isn’t actually a sequence you play on your Eridian speech piano in polite company.”

Grace is both horrified and amused to realise that a more accurate translation for what Rocky’s been saying is “shit shit shit”.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Eridian government representative: Greetings Rocky, Saviour of Erid, and Grace, Saviour from Beyond the Stars. We are pleased to welcome you home.

Grace, haltingly on the keyboard Rocky built for him: Wassup bitches. Fucking jazzed to—

Rocky: GRACE STOP TALKING NOW NOW NOW I EXPLAIN LATER

[hungwy]

tomorrow i may eat some sauerkraut. keep this in mind

youre booked.

[blackpyrefly]

i didnt

[hungwy]