The Comedian

Wild Hayes, 43/88 Werebear, Homosexual, Switch, Professor of Improv

[wildxhayes]

It had been a good summer so far for Wilder, he was free from the school, and he’d been working on his treehouse plenty. It was really coming along, and was looking a lot better than it had when he’d first moved in. Of course he still had plenty of work that needed to be done; but today was too hot to be working on the treehouse, and Cassie had needed a day off, so he went into work at the shop. It was a nice change from the physical labor, and there was the added bonus that the shop, unlike the treehouse, had air conditioning. 

So he knelt by one of the shelves, unboxing chips from Korea when he heard the bell on the front door ring. “Welcome in to A Taste of Home!” he called from where he was stocking the shelf. “Looking for anything in particular? Or just looking to beat the heat?” 

@the-institute-starters​

[wildxhayes]

slavexisabel​:

.

Isabel had gotten lucky when it came to rentals, at least this far since arriving at the Institute.  No one had been particularly cruel, something she subscribed to her willingness to be a submissive slave.  That good behavior is why she was fairly sure she was allowed to shift every time someone submitted a form for her company.  Today was the one day she was allowed to be unbound and she had every intention to take advantage of it, especially with her renter’s approval.  She’d taken the walking path to have some semblance of privacy as she stripped down, carefully folding her clothes and tucking them away where she could retrieve them later.  Ruining too many of her childhood garments had all but trained her to be careful.  Finally stripped, the shifter gleefully turned into a butterfly and immediately started to ride the wind.  Though apparently she didn’t have to go far to find company.  Unbound, she should have detected the bear’s presence before now but she’d been too distracted by her momentary freedom to notice.  The butterfly flapped its way towards the animal before resting on its nose, wings flapping in greeting.

Wilder watched as the butterfly floated up to him on the wind and landed on his nose. “Hello,” he projected his thoughts to the butterfly. “Enjoying your day? Good breeze right?” he continued as he resumed pushing the log down the path, letting the butterfly hitch a ride as he did so. They were getting near enough to his property, but it still took a lot of energy for him to keep doing this physical labor in his bear form without eating. Good thing he’d started a croc-pot full of stew at the beginning of the day so he could eat plenty when he was done. “You hungry? I’ve got a stew on.” he told the butterfly as he pushed the log uphill slightly. 

[roleplayermemes]

Embarrassment Meme

Send me, “Well, this is awkward…” and I’ll generate a random number [1-30] to see what my muse’s reaction is to your muse catching them… —        - [Will reroll if NSFW option is rolled but not desired.]

Keep reading

[wildxhayes]

tommyheavyshield​:

The person who was hitting him didn’t speak. Not a word though how would he even know? He couldn’t hear anything other than his own labored breathing and cries. But he’d heard that other person… it had been in his head. Shit, maybe he was losing it. He felt like he was losing. He just wanted this to stop and he just wanted to crawl into a hole. This wasn’t fun. This pain wasn’t fun. He didn’t bother begging for it to stop anymore though. He just cried and felt hot shame flowing through him. 

Wild felt guild running through his body as his arm drew back and struck again, maybe, just maybe he could find some way to make this less terrible for the young man. He sighed and then looked at the table of different things before he picked up a riding crop. One small loop of leather had to hurt less, right? He slowly ran the riding crop along the other’s back, over his shoulders, down the dip of his back and then brought it down over his skin, it was still a strong snap against his skin, but he hoped it would be even slightly less painful for the crying boy. 

[wildxhayes]

lesliestedeman​:

Both Virgil and Artemis scrambled ahead of Wilder, nearly tripping over each other to get inside. They both had plenty of water outside but they went straight for the kitchen, half of which Leslie had made into a small painting studio. He usually ate in the living room anyway on a TV tray and with a movie on or a book on tape or CD going.

Leslie wiped off his hands from the paint, looking mildly annoyed at Artie shaking so close to his area. He usually kept the dogs out while painting so they wouldn’t knock anything over, get hair on everything or, in one case, steal a paintbrush to play with while it had paint on it.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Leslie smiled a little and shook his head as Wild announced his specialty beer run. He jerked his head to indicate it was alright for his friend to come inside. But there was an obvious air of wanting to be left alone. Leslie wasn’t as excitable at seeing his fellow Kiwi. And he hadn’t been out much in general since all the awful ‘punishment’ business.

Wilder could feel the slight tension as he walked in, maybe it had been a bad idea to come over without calling, but he was here, and he had beer, so he walked in and set the case of beer on the counter as he looked at the painting. “I like what you’ve done here,” he said as he gestured to the painting. “Nice use of color.” 

He leaned his hip against the counter and then turned his head to look at Leslie. “So, what’s been going on with you mate? Been shutting yourself away yeah? Trust me, I get it, you should see all the renovations I’m doing on the house,” he chuckled and then turned to look at Leslie head on. “Beer?” he offered as he opened the box and drew out two of the beers, a taste of home, something he looked forward, just a gentle reminder of the place they had both grown up in and loved, and the place they had left for their own reasons. 

[wildxhayes]

finncarlyle​:

Finn wasn’t sure what to expect from the raffle rental. It had been a while since he had been out of his cells and in all honesty, he would have preferred it that way. The idea of closing his eyes just to wake up to an unfamiliar place petrifies him to no end, and it’s really taking everything in him to not trigger himself into a panic attack. And how bleak of an idea that was.

When the guards came to collect him, he was already packed, ready and overall, restless. They mentioned briefly about the person he would be staying with and it did little to ease his nerves. Professor Hayes wasn’t someone he had met before and he can’t even say that he had any of his classes. With as much optimism as he could muster, he followed the guards out without speaking up once. 

It didn’t take him long to realize that it was an off-campus home once they made it into the woods. It was only when the treehouse came into view did it really sink in. His jaw dropped, eyes widening almost in awe at the alluring sight. Too mesmerized by the scene, he jumped at the the sudden appearance of the man and almost kicked himself for the light screech that came out. “Yes, that’s me, Professor!” He winced, pushing his glasses closer to his face to hide his embarrassment. “Oh- um, okay,” he answered quietly. Without turning to look at them, he thanked the guards quickly before hurrying away from them. Making his way to the side of the stairs that he was told, he climbed his way up, pausing awkwardly at the entranceway and glanced around. “That’s uh, that’s okay. It’s really not that messy at all. You have an amazing place,” he replied.

Wilder couldn’t help but chuckle at the slight screech the slave let out but he ran his hand along the new railing to the treehouse at the compliment, pride swelling in his chest. “Ah, thanks,” he said as he smiled at the young man. “I built it myself last summer, and I’ve been doing a few little renovations on it since school is out for the summer,” he explained. “Well, come on in, he gestured for Finn to follow him to the bedroom. “You can set up in here, I’ll be sleeping on the hammock outside, usually do when it’s summer,” he explained. “The windows open completely, so you’ll get a nice cross breeze in here, I’m sorry but I don’t have AC,” he explained as he pointed to the windows and then shrugged. 

“But if there’s anything you need, just let me know, this is your place for the next however long this rental lasts for, and uh, yeah. Just let me know if you need anything,” he grinned a little sheepishly, not really sure how to proceed from there. 

[wildxhayes]

variantofmetal​:

“You are not a coward, Wild. From all the time we spend nothing about you says you are a coward. Wanting to live doesn’t make you one. Your gay and married to a woman, it doesn’t take a genius to know why you left. I’m sorry that you can’t return home. If you ever want to go but be away, my home isn’t one most visit, my children are little monsters that make sure we are left alone.”

Wilder thought about that for a moment before he smiled softly. The offer was a brilliant one, one that he appreciated very much and he reached out to touch Steele’s hand. “Thank you,” he said softly. “I appreciate the offer. I may take you up on it one day,” he smiled gently before he turned back to the grill and flipped their steaks. “Two minutes and these will be perfect.” 

[wildxhayes]

voulez-vousatticus​:

“Alright, well most houses aren’t up in the air like this one!” he defended.  “If lightning strikes a treehouse in the woods and no one is around to hear it, did it get struck?”  He couldn’t resist.  But he did follow up to the main part of the house, and even Atticus was impressed by the craftsmanship.  He didn’t know anything, but he still thought it was cool.  And probably took forever - Atticus would have given up almost immediately.  He shot the man a little grin as he spoke, though, semi distracted by a light fixture.  “’A little tipsy’, sure, man, whatever you say,” he smirked.  “You can admit it, you saw my little tush sexy and wanted to spend a little more independent time with me.”  He held his hands up in a lazy surrender.  “I happily oblige.  We can share the bed and let whatever happens after that happens.  There, or any other part of the house.”  He dropped his backpack on the ground.  “So what’s first?  Do you get like, pizza delivered here or something?  I feel like it’s easy to catch something on fire here, so you may want to tape some oven mitts to my hands when unsupervised.”

“Could just tape your hands to the bedpost,” Wilder offered with a slight grin as he looked Atticus over. Sure he’d been tipsy, but Atticus wasn’t entirely off, he had liked what he’d seen and he did like the idea of having some one on one time with the younger man. “Course, I find scarves are more comfortable than tape,” he added with a shrug and then leaned against the wall. “I can do a pizza delivery, or we can just make a pizza, it’s not hard,” he offered. “I do have a kitchen,” he pointed out as he nodded for Atticus to follow him to said kitchen. It was away from the bedroom, the treehouse had three different platforms on three different trees with a walkway between each one. The bedroom was the middle tree and he led Atticus over to the next platform over, where the kitchen was. It was a comfortable sized kitchen, one that made Wilder proud every time he saw it. Sure the electrical needed some work, but it was a good kitchen that almost always worked perfectly. 

[wildxhayes]

Wilder loved it when he had time to work in the shop, though he had to admit, Cassie was an amazing employee, he liked being able to unwind from teaching and just have fun around the shop. He stretched as he sat behind the counter, eating a bag of pineapple lumps and watching highlights from the New Zealand National Football team. It was a mellow day in the shop, but he wasn’t too worried about it. He had a new promotion going on, bring in your passport, get one free snack from the country of your origin. Of course, most of the people who were taking him up on the promotion were Americans, which most of the island catered to when it came to snacks and whatnot, but he hoped he’d get more of an international clientele soon. 

When he heard the bell above the door ring he picked up his L&P and took a drink to wash down the pineapple lumps, 89 years old and still ate like a 12 year old. “Heyya!” he called towards the front. “Let me know if you need any help!” 

@alebolivarx​

[wildxhayes]

It had been awhile since Wilder had time for a shift, and sure, this one was to use the bear strength to push a log up a hill, but who said you couldn’t kill two birds with one stone? So he was doing just that, rolling a log up a hill, while in his bear form. It felt good to be able to shift whenever he wanted, and usually he stuck to his own property, but when he saw this log, he just had to have it. There was a good chainsaw on sale at the hardware store, and he wanted to carve the log into a cool looking bench. So up to the trail he slowly pushed the log before he finally got it there. When he was done he plopped down, scratching behind his ear as he took a break. he absentmindedly scratched at the log as he looked at it, it would be perfect for his new patio, maybe he should even make one bear sized, that was a fun project idea. As he thought about that, he didn’t even notice the other person coming up the trail- he was so used to just being on his own property he hadn’t even considered how a random bear in the middle of a very public walking trail would look to others until he got back on all fours and looked up, pausing when he saw the other person looking at him. 

@slavexisabel​

[wildxhayes]

Wiring. That was one thing that was very difficult for the Kiwi Bear to do. He knew it needed to be better, yes, he could keep charging his phone with the solar charger because of all of the shorts, but when he heard there was a tech person, he figured, why not give them a call? After doing so and giving the man directions to the treehouse, he stood outside, fiddling with the breaker box that he’d haphazardly installed. “This one should go to the... Bedroom?” he muttered to himself as he flipped a switch and then stood back, watching the light in the kitchen turn on. “Fuck,” he whispered and then stepped forward as he pulled a marker out of his pocket and wrote a K next to the switch. “Okay, this is going to be so much easier with a second set of eyes,” he groaned as he rubbed his face. He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed the number to the tech person. “Hey yeah, just wondering if I gave you good directions or if you got a bit turned around? I know I’m not great with directions,” he admitted with a sheepish smile. 

@tech-kingthomas​

[wildxhayes]

Walking over to Leslie’s was a bit of a walk from the treehouse, but it was on the way from school, so stopping by had never been a problem. Sure he’d been a little busy lately, he’d been doing some renovations to the treehouse, making the railing... Exist. And sturdy enough to lean against, but mostly existing. He was also redoing the wall around the outdoor shower, and fixing the plumbing, so it had been a time consuming project, but no excuses, he was going to see Leslie today. 

When he got to the house he hopped over the fence easily, grinning as the dogs ran up to him. “What’s up my little ankle biters?” he asked as he knelt down and pet them both as they shoved at each other for his attention. “Hey- Artie, be nice to your brother,” he said before he stood up and walked up to the front door. The main door was open and the screen was closed so he rapped on it a few times before opening the door. “Anyone in?” he called into the house. “Anyone order some Monteith’s? Because I got a couple cases with your name on it!” 

@lesliestedeman​

[wildxhayes]

Wilder had honestly completely forgotten that he had signed up for the slave raffle. He’d figured it would be a good way to make new friends, and possibly get someone a couple days out of the cells for a bit, but then the punishment had happened, and it had completely left his mind. So he was feeling better now, he wasn’t all beat up anymore, he was back to his routine- and then he got an alert that he’d won someone in the raffle. He’d stared at the message for a long time and then shrugged, apparently he was getting a rental. So he started to clean up a bit, he’d never been the tidiest of people, so picking up his clothes was the first thing on his list. Until he heard a couple people walking down the walkway from the road to his house. 

He stepped out onto the deck of his treehouse and smiled at the guards and the slave that was being walked down. “Hey, Finn, right?” he asked as he gave them a wave. “Thanks lads, I think I’ve got it from here,” he nodded to the guards and then looked at Finn. “Come on up, stairs are around that way,” he pointed to the other side of the wrap around deck on the treehouse. “Sorry ‘bout the mess, I’m not exactly the tidiest of guys, and I completely forgot about the whole raffle thing,” he explained. 

@finncarlyle​

[musingmemes]

nsfw / smut starters

“i want you to fuck me.”

“you’d look better with those clothes on the floor.”

“you feel so good.”

“i’ve been thinking about you all night.”

“i need you so bad.”

“take your clothes off.”

“fuck me like you hate me.”

“i need to feel you inside of me.”

“i need to be inside of you.”

“beg for it.”

“bend over.”

“get on your knees.”

“i love the way you touch me.”

“i love the way you kiss me.”

“how bad do you want me?”

“do you know how bad i want you?”

“you’re so sexy when you’re hot and bothered.”

[wildxhayes]

watfletcher​:

As Wilder looked away, Wat felt whatever he had left of a heart sink. He’d proved nothing, done nothing to win Wild’s trust again. Wild was letting him down gently… or so Wat believed for a moment before Wild made his request. How could he make him…

There was a thought, a very brief thought and even that Wild wanted him to do it. But Wat knew it couldn’t be true. Wild would never want his memories altered. And Wat wasn’t very good at the long term. He had done it to Wild once before, taken away the memories of a confession Wild had not been ready for… Wat wouldn’t force Wild to do anything. Even if it was in the vampire’s power.

Wat leaned forward, kissing Wild gently, then with more passion. Wat moved his lips carefully, tenderly placing the softest of kisses on Wild’s bruises between words. “Anything you want from me, Wild, I’ll give you. Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it…” He paused, looking to Wild’s deep brown eyes, “I’ve never been given such a glorious second chance. Not like this… I won’t waste it.”

Wild killed Wat back immediately, one hand moving to the back of his head as they kissed. Was he really going to do this again? Fall into the same old habits with the man who had left him after he’d turned? It had been so long ago, but he just didn’t see any reason to deny his feelings- the feelings he realized he’d always had. 

When Wat moved to kiss the bruises on his face, Wild kept his eyes closed, and his hand on the back of Wat’s head, just accepting the affection, before he opened his eyes to look at him when he paused. 

“Pretty words,” Wild whispered, knowing Wat would have no problem hearing them. He moved his hand from the back of Wat’s head to cup his cheek, stroking it with his thumb. “Prove it,” he smiled softly before he leaned in and kissed him again. 

God he desperately wanted to believe him, he wanted more than anything to believe that things could be like they were before. Back in the 70′s when things were easier, and he was human. 

[wildxhayes]

 cassiehayesx​:

.

Cassie’s expression was doubtful as she listened to his reassurances, her gaze shifting over the bodies chained in the quad and then quickly back to him. It was hard not to end up comfortable with nudity–your own and others–as a werewolf, but the people in this courtyard had not signed up to be seen by her, and she did not want to look more than she had to. Wilder’s nudity, at least, was very familiar, even outside of shifting.  

“Yeah, well, I don’t like them doing short term stuff to you, either,” she grumbled as she bent to retrieve the container of broth. His teasing won a hint of a smile, lips quirking up just a little–it was obvious she was trying to fight a proper smile, her father’s familiar hatred of her beloved bird comforting in this very unfamiliar moment. “No,” she said, rewarding him with the sort of dramatic eye-roll she would have given as a teenager, now played up for laughs. “His Highness is back at home, thank you very much. The broth is chicken and dill.” It was one of her favorite soups to make; she’d made a proper batch, waiting for him at home, packed with chicken and veggies and rice–but for now, just the broth would do. 

She stood on her toes to better offer him a sip, tried to meet his eyes with a smile–but it faltered, and she found herself looking at the spoon in her hand instead. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I should have found somewhere better for us. I didn’t know–I’m sorry, papa.”

Chicken and Dill, god it sounded amazing, and it filled him with memories of helping teach his daughter to cook while she was little. Her standing on a chair, him with his mess of curls pulled back into a ponytail as he showed her how to cook and how taste what she was working on. Sure there was lots of spills and chaos and a huge mess for him to clean up afterwards, but he had always loved taking his Cassie and teaching her something new. Hell if he’d been allowed to he’d have homeschooled her for her entire life so she never had to leave his side. But that wasn’t healthy, and he knew it. But he’d always done his best to keep her happy, that was the most important thing in the world to him, so when his little girl looked away from him and apologized- he felt his stomach drop. 

“Castilia Mahuta Hayes,” he said softly, hoping that calling her by her full name would help him in getting her attention. “You are the daughter of the only werebear of New Zealand, you are a strong alpha, when things get difficult you do not cower away from a challenge, do you?” he asked sternly. “This, all of this,” he gestured as best he could. “This is not your fault Taku whaiāipo,” he whispered as he looked at her. “You freed us,” he glanced at the chains binding him and he shrugged. “This- this is nothing compared to what we had at home. I can handle this for a few days Baby,” he said as he shook his head. “But I cannot handle you thinking you have any sort of blame in this, and I won’t listen to it. So if you’re going to stand here feeling sorry for yourself, you may as well put those earplugs back in, because I will not hear it. Not from you.” his voice was gentle, but firm at the same time, he wanted her to know he meant it, it was not her fault that this was happening, and he wouldn’t let her think it was. 

[soulprompts]

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐆𝐎 👀.

okay so i got like, three books delivered this week, and in anticipation i reread another book that i had, and lads, let me tell ye, it was like quicksand. so now i have a list, some from my head, many from my wonderful friends’ heads, of prompts that basically made us all very soft or very “pleasantly scandalized rich lady from the sixties who just found out a juicy bit of goss about the new neighbor”. i hope ye like them! (DO NOT ADD TO THE LIST. I WILL MAKE A PART TWO. AND THREE. AND FOUR. MANY MANY PARTS. EVENTUALLY. )

[ HAIR ]:          sender slowly reaches out to catch a loose strand of the receiver’s hair and tuck it gently and securely back behind their ear, letting their touch linger afterwards. (if the receiver has short hair, then the sender reaches out and gently runs their fingers through their hair to smooth it back.)

[ CLOSE ]:          while standing remarkably close to one another, the sender is unable to stop themselves from running their gaze across the receiver’s body, lingering for a moment on their lips, before returning to initiate prolonged, intense eye contact.

[ CHIN ]:          as they stand close to one another, the sender hooks a finger and tenderly lifts the receiver’s chin, tilting it up so that they can look at one another, and running a thumb across their skin lightly.

[ THUMB ]:          while cupping the receiver’s cheek in their hand, the sender slowly glides their thumb across their cheekbone in a tender, sweeping caress.

[ WOUND ]:          upon noticing a recent injury on the receiver’s person, the sender carefully moves closer, running a thumb (or hand) across the wound in a gentle, troubled manner.

[ INHALE ]:          while standing in very close quarters to the receiver, the sender shakily inhales with desire/anticipation as they realize how intimately close they are to one another.

[ DANCE ]:          when alone together (e.g. the bedroom, the kitchen, literally anywhere once they’re alone) the sender takes the receiver’s hand, and pulls them into a graceful yet intimate dance as a spontaneous act.

[ BARE ]:          as they get undressed, the sender gently places a soft, tender kiss against the receiver’s bare shoulder.

[ SCAR ]:          noticing a scar on the receiver’s skin, the sender tentatively stops them from covering it up, and rests a gentle, soft kiss over it.

[ FOREHEAD ]:          placing a hand on the back of the receiver’s neck, the sender guides them close and rests their foreheads together.

[ PALM ]:          taking the receiver’s hand, the sender brings it to their mouth, and places a tender kiss against the receiver’s palm.

[ LINGER ]:          taking the receiver’s hand, the sender lifts it to their lips, and gently kisses their knuckles, lingering for a moment before withdrawing.

[ BEHIND ]:         upon entering the same room as the receiver, the sender steps behind them, and winds their arms around the receiver’s waist, drawing them close against them.

[ WAIT ]:          realizing the receiver is about to leave the room, the sender hastily reaches out and catches their wrist, preventing them from continuing their departure.

[ ARM ]:          after holding their hand, the sender releases the receiver, but slowly glides their hand up the full length of their arm, lingering on the upper arm, then the shoulder, then resting their touch against the side of their neck.

[ HOLD ]:          while close to the receiver, the sender wordlessly takes a hold of their hand, for no other purpose than to be holding it.

[ PLAY ]:          while sitting together, the sender absently lifts the receiver’s hand, idly running their fingertips across the lines of their palms, mapping out every inch of their hand with slow, lazy touches.

[ GUIDE ]:          in the process of guiding the receiver through a crowded place, the sender’s hand protectively grazes against the small of their back

[ TOUCH ]:          while touching the receiver’s waist, the sender’s hand briefly dips beneath the hem of their shirt, skimming briefly across the bare skin of their waist.

[ CUP ]:           bringing both hands up to cup the receiver’s face, the sender draws them in closer to them in order to get a better look at their face.

[ TUG ]:          the sender tugs the receiver close against them by resting a hand against the small of their back, pulling them flush against their body.

[ HUSH ]:          while standing close to one another and hiding from pursuers, the sender reaches up and places a finger against the receiver’s lips to prevent them from speaking and revealing their location.

[ WRAP ]: when sitting astride a horse/motorcycle/etc. together, the sender reaches back, takes the receiver’s wrists, and gently pulls their arms around the sender’s waist in an embrace designed to keep the receiver safe, despite feeling remarkably intimate.