tired for all seasons

[petaltexturedskies]

But I do feel strange—almost unearthly. I’ll never get used to being alive. It's a mystery. Always startled to find I've survived.

John Steinbeck, Journal of a Novel: The East of Eden Letters

[wiltingrosemary]

[noorshirazie]

IMPRINT

Skilled in the ability to memorize quickly, I inhale all of you for fear of running out of air—

sea green eyes, dangerous smile, piercing gaze.

It is done. You reside within me now.

If I were to never see you again, I will continue to see you everywhere.

[wiltingrosemary]

Lady Lucifer

This skin

Is not skin

Is not bones

It’s falling

It’s messy in its breathing,

Lovely in its wanting

Sprawled on all fours

Its thirst is unquenching

This skin

Is not skin

Is not flesh

It’s burning

It’s searching for meaning

Throws itself in the pits, god willing

Reaches down its throat, arms pulling

The confessions spill without my permission

“Forgive me, Mother, for I have sinned.

I know not who I am, only who I’ve been.

Your prodigal daughter is nowhere to be seen.

I lost my way to false heavens and bloody rings.

Try as I may, I am my suffering.

Bereft of wings, will I ever be forgiven?

If so, break me out of this cage,

It was made in your image.

You are the lock and the key.

Grant me grace, but leave me with mortality.

I was never asking to be divine,

Only to be me.”

[wiltingrosemary]

I should’ve been born a butterfly

There's a bitterness on my tongue

Tastes like something burnt left in the pan

For a little too long, now it’s a little too late

The disquiet made its home inside my head

I sleep through the same nightmares

Always running away, I’m running behind

Slipping, free-falling, I drove past the edge of the cliff

But the god that made me gave me arms instead of wings

Gravity won as oblivion called my name

I swore I heard the angels singing

Pulling me deeper down the ocean

Embraced by a blinding lightness

I welcomed rest, I begged for solace

Only to awaken to the drumming of dread

There is no rest for the wicked, no mercy for the weary

I looked to find these shackles have no key

I’ve stopped counting the days I first became

A prisoner of the war inside my mind

No hostages remain but there’s still screaming inside

I can only create in this void, I can only write in darkness

But if there is a way out, please let me find it

[theoptia]

Aldous Huxley, from The Doors of Perception

Text ID: In the final stage of egolessness, there is an ‘obscure knowledge’ that All is in all—that All is actually each.

[mournfulroses]

Zinaida Nikolaevna Gippius, from The Selected Works; “Memoirs of Martynov,”

[wiltingrosemary]

I stupidly got my heart broken. I got attached and you left without saying goodbye. Are we ever going to find our way back in each other's lives? I hope so because there's a space in my heart that's reserved just for you. So hurry back, hurry back, hurry back home to me.

[wiltingrosemary]

Update: We found our way back in each other’s lives- against all odds- we found each other again.

[wiltingrosemary]

Can we please try again?

[deloveusion]

sex is cool but can you stick around and not give up on me

[stricatul]

Catching feelings

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

wouldn't recommend.. very traumatizing

[wiltingrosemary]

I’m trying not to borrow grief from the future. I’m trying to be optimistic. I’m trying not to control things that are out of my hands, like your feelings. I’ll greet you on your birthday and that will be my last attempt at reconciliation. If nothing happens to us then, then nothing ever will again.

[wiltingrosemary]

I want to make art out of you.

[wiltingrosemary]

I stupidly got my heart broken. I got attached and you left without saying goodbye. Are we ever going to find our way back in each other's lives? I hope so because there's a space in my heart that's reserved just for you. So hurry back, hurry back, hurry back home to me.

[wiltingrosemary]

Keepsakes

I’ll keep the playlist of your favorite English songs and you keep the note I wrote to you at 3 AM.

You keep the way I like my coffee and I’ll keep the way you like your beer.

You keep my love of the cosmos and I’ll keep your love of sports.

I’ll even keep your drinking problem, your watermelon vape addiction, your messiness, your impatience, and your lack of courage.

You can keep my demanding work schedule, my late replies, my fickleness, my half-truths, and my pride.

I’ll keep the way you always held your hand out whenever you feel me struggling, and you keep the way I always held my arms open whenever you need reassuring.

You keep my sunshine and I’ll keep your sensitivity,

and you can keep coming back while I keep the door open,

so hurry back, hurry back, hurry back home to me.

[wiltingrosemary]

i miss you

[orpheuslament]

can someone fucking linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. can someone fucking forget their scarf in my life & come back later for it. please

[soracities]

my heart's full to the brim w the joy of loving btw. i'll die one day but also i won't. on account of the love.

[soracities]

pick up struggling honeybee from a crowded high street. a fragment of me lives w her. compliment the cashier on her hairband. a fragment of me lives w her. alert the stranger on the bus when the travel card falls out of their pocket. a fragment of me lives w them. let the toddler in the park join our game of football. a fragment of me lives w them. i'll die but i won't. i'm here but i'm everywhere else too. you get me?