[effervescentbi]

Thor Ragnarok was a such prime example of sibling relationships

[umlindsay]

I need the Met Gala to turn away any and all people who do not meet the standards of tonight’s theme. Get out of here with your boring ass “I just want to look pretty for Instagram” dresses and stale as hell plain black suits! I will be served CAMP or you will see the door!

[nicollekidman]

the idea of straight women breaking down with their stylists because they’re so incapable of grasping the concept of camp and all they want to do is wear their silk sheath gowns…. as if anna wintour and andrew bolton are at the entrance to the red carpet with crossbows ready to snipe anyone who dare look plainly pretty….. actually yeah anna wintour grow a spine and murder a jenner in front of the met 

[lokilesbian]

how I sleep at night knowing my daughter is in a prison of my own design because I turned her into a murderer, my son is abandoned on a notorious garbage realm, and my other son is having an identity crisis because they are from a race I taught them from a young age to hate:

[onceiwashere]

me when i’m in a food coma after eating one 2 many chicken fajitas from chili’s

[lokilesbian]

Anthony Hopkins after eating too many chicken fajitas after Tom brings him to Chili’s

[moss-sprouted]

he looks like he was photoshopped into a bowl of boiling soup

[lokilesbian]

[t3sticles]

Lost in the sauce

[theguilteaparty]

Bourgeoisie: *systematically destroys the planet*

Bourgeoisie: *launches a luxury car into space, preparing the technology for their eventual evacuation*

[kingkumaaa]

When the whole party is down but your bard is up

[maliciousindungeon]

jack had absolutely no right to go this hard

[ask-grabor-3-deactivated2026021]

Jack Black always goes this hard.

[umbridge-against-shipping]

[shacklesburst]

oh i’m loving this already

[meganxxsweeney]

[junk-hed]

[whitepajamas]

[pulshach]

[radiojamming]

I haven’t been able to get the full video but we just celebrated one of our steam locomotives turning 145 by chucking a chocolate cake into her firebox

[briery]

“I can never drive my car over a bridge without thinking of suicide. I can never look at a lake or an ocean without thinking of suicide.”

— Charles Bukowski, The Captain is Out to Lunch and the Sailors Have Taken Over the Ship

[athetos]

I have one brain cell and it bounces around in my skull like a windows screen saver

[harleyivy-deactivated20200726]

[theactress65-deactivated2022042]

Edmond Dantés: Life is going great! I’m gonna marry the most beautiful gal in the world, I’m gonna be a captain-

Mondego, Villeford, and Dangles:

[ommanyte]

Well, at least we still have Mario-presenting nipples

[ravenmacduff]

[ommanyte]

CAN’T WE HAVE ONE NICE THING