bittersweet blues

living is overrated

[wingsandwhiskers]

xfgdth

[wingsandwhiskers]

though i cannot make you stay you can't stop me from loving you and so here i sit, in a haze of broken promises and love untrue

Beawings

[wingsandwhiskers]

when we were younger, didn't it all seem too complicated when our parents explained  half-siblings, half-lives and half-truths? at which point in our lives did we understand these complicated ways? at which point did we understand the answer is ultimately because we're human and that is as comforting as it is terrifying

Pawkers

[wingsandwhiskers]

although its not what i wished for i love you enough to let you go so even though i say "i'm fine" look at me and memorise all the hurt in my face as you walk away because we both know that i'm never getting over you

Beawings

[wingsandwhiskers]

the beauty of dreams lies within its intangible nature infinite possible universes built but unknown as a union how many universes have we created?

Pawkers

[wingsandwhiskers]

for months I asked myself if I could go back in time how could I have loved you better guilt and insecurity consumed me until I spiralled out of control and began to hate myself it took me months to realise i loved you so much that I forgot to love myself

Beawings

[wingsandwhiskers]

lost at sea, where i always thought it was, is and will be everything and anything. impatient juries and common sins, untimely justice and deadly greed that we shall do and be. if it is a coin, we are heads then tails. we are the troughs and crests in other's echoes we are a number and a memory, someone's sun and another's cloud. we are a small yet significant part of it. it is not the same without us. it is not chance and yet, we hope for the consequence we didn't choose yesterday. we search for it our whole lives and some doubt it exists. but i have always believed it is the sum of everything, it is inevitable, if we are a droplet it is the sea.

Pawkers

[wingsandwhiskers]

our moments became words printed on a page in black and white our story became a book that would remain even as our memories faded away

Beawings

[wingsandwhiskers]

i can't remember how i got there i might've woken up there or wondered there without realising i've left the room and gone somewhere dark and grim somewhere untruly beautiful somewhere i could watch the sunset between green mountains surrounding the bluest lake where birds played i watched on the balcony felt the cool autumn breeze dancing through my hair yet i wasn't cold time was passing and the moment was too that day all had to end i watched the sky turn black while my heart sank further and further i felt like i could never smile again like the sun inside me would never rise again i don't know how long i stayed there weeping like i would never know joy once more but i know i don't want to go back to the end of the day to the place my fears win to the worst place of my mind i never want to be standing on that balcony again

Pawkers

[wingsandwhiskers]

it frightens me how ready i am to let myself go and surrender to you; and yet, i don't know if you would do the same for me.

Beawings

[wingsandwhiskers]

playing in the snow while shivering in three layers of clothes let’s go back inside for a cup of peppermint tea pretending like we don’t like each other but still, our legs touch as we warm up by the fireplace let’s drink our peppermint tea small talk with lingering looks suggesting perhaps...this could be more but then you say you want to stay you know i want to go home i know this is your home reality hits you’re you and i’m me i try to finish my peppermint tea but it's no longer warm instead, it sends chills through my bones so, i pour the rest of my tea down the sink

Pawkers

[wingsandwhiskers]

on the most bitter of nights, i draw in our happiest memories, weave them into the softest of blankets to drape over myself and keep me safe. on the darkest of days, i take in our most passionate moments, create my own burning light to set myself alight and keep myself warm.

Beawings

[wingsandwhiskers]

perhaps your actions don’t hold the intentions that i seek or perhaps they do i don’t know after all you’re just another nice guy

Pawkers

[wingsandwhiskers]

this love is poison and wine, just one sip and everything is fabled; and yet, i set out my cup and dine in the sophistication that is love, unstable although this love will easily crumble into dust, and undoubtedly kill me with lament , i will unhestitantly take your hand, my love, and hold it until the very end.

Beawings

[wingsandwhiskers]

I wish I wished for you so that I could save both your heart and mine

Pawkers

[wingsandwhiskers]

the love he possessed for her had consumed him entirely, so much so that he was drowning; but she had given him a reason to live; and without her, he would suffocate.

Beawings

[wingsandwhiskers]

a stranger in my life but not in my mind, who could've thought it would be like this? we're far away but approaching May, my thoughts wander back to you every day. perhaps, it's because my soul knows that in an alternate universe, we're happy together and it thinks we can recreate that flame, but you don't show that you even think anything more of what we currently are. so, i'm left drowning in my own desires of wanting... wanting... and wanting you.

Pawkers