I never really ran a shit post blog

when you don't want to make another fandom specific blog, but you're still obsessed with Dean Winchester

[gayeddiejuice]

i love him so much SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!

[lavenderprose]

Honestly? Honestly the idea of Ilya Rozanov sitting himself down at twelve years old and saying I have GOT to get out of this country. It killed my mother. It's going to kill me. And then growing up a little bit and realizing some Things about himself and saying I have GOT to get out of this country. I have tried and tried and for some reason people keep Knowing What I Am. Ilya, young bisexual man with an apparently pretty clocky affect to his speaking voice. A strong young man with a natural and lovely flamboyance in him, a sweetness he tries to smother and the ability to play hockey like it was bestowed upon him by GOD. I've GOT to get out of here, he thinks to himself. And then he leaves (but not really) does some more growing up and he falls in love only he can't let himself be in love because the lead weight of this country is still tied to him and he thinks I have GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. Then his father dies and the man he loves says "Come with me" and Ilya says I am NEVER going back!! I will wear my mother's cross and I will think of her every day and she will forgive me for never visiting her grave because her beautiful boy got OUT. I will go to a place where I am loved by a man A MAN who I love more than I ever thought I was allowed. Who holds my face and my hands and my heart. I will find a home for myself in his arms. I will never go fucking back.

[wingsau]

At eighteen years old, Shane "yay hockey friend" Hollander smiled at Ilya "I don't want to go back to Russia, I want to play hockey and kiss cute boy" Rozanov and changed the trajectory of his life.

[rainbow-motors]

Dean Winchester | SPN 2.08

[themoonandmyman]

‘Ilya’ and ‘Rozanov’ are two different people, and that’s so fascinating to me.

Rozanov is a both a fortress and a prison. It’s something Ilya creates, building the walls brick by brick, perfecting the image of an animal covered in spikes that no one can touch.

You can’t hurt him. You can’t fluster him, you can’t throw him off his game. He’s stoic and bulletproof and he’s an asshole, so keep your distance.

Don’t get too close, because if you do- you’ll see right through it.

You’ll peak through the walls and see a terrified little boy hiding from any form of real love because love only brings pain.

He’s gentle and kind and soft and so afraid, and that’s Ilya.

The only problem is, the walls of ‘Rozanov’ start to close in over the years, and it’s suffocating Ilya. Now he’s trapped in a reputation he built himself, a misrepresentation of who he truly is.

‘Not even Rozanov wants to see someone hurt like that’ is such a heartbreaking line to me, because in reality, he has no desire to see anyone hurt, not really. The fact that it’s Shane obviously makes it worse, but it’s just another example of the people assuming the worst of him.

That’s why it’s so important to me when he corrects David over his name, because in that moment, he’s not Rozanov. He’s Ilya. He’s a guiding hand and an emotional rock and a supportive boyfriend. He’s everything he’s always wanted to be.

Trauma can be so ugly, and you can hurt yourself in ways you never thought possible, even when you’re trying to protect yourself.

[hunybody]

to be honest i think ilya razzes scott hunter even more after he comes out and it’s mostly a joke but some of it comes from a very real place of ohhhh my godddd this other orphan is suchhhh a chicken pussy about being gay and he isn’t even under threat of being disappeared forever to the gulag

[lazarrusrising]

The Tiny Dean Collection: Supernatural 4x01, Lazarus Rising

[lazarrusrising]

The Tiny Dean Collection: Supernatural 4x01, Lazarus Rising

[salchat]

Dean - Folsom Prison Blues

[d34thwurm3]

someone has definitely made this connection before but i'm gonna discuss it anyway......

you know the trench coat? THAT trench coat, the one the angel wears? those are his wings.

castiel is hardly ever without it. the only times we really see him on screen not wearing it is when he's not an angel (when castiel is thrust from his vessel, the first thing jimmy novak does is take the trench coat off. in season seven, castiel sheds it after releasing the leviathan, and he becomes the amnesiac enamuel).

everyone talks about the importance of dean keeping the trench coat throughout season seven, but given the context it only makes sense dean was the one who was able to give cas back his wings. to "redeem" him, more or less, even if it was just to help sam. and god bless him, cas puts it on– bloody and grimy and stained– and wears it anyway.

it's so much more than a trench coat. it always was

[lazarrusrising]

Every Episode of Supernatural: 51/327

3x07 Fresh Blood, Gordon and Kubrick pt1

[yippeekiyayay]

"Cas, are you god?"

Oh I know chuck was sooooo mad. Sooo mad. But he couldn't let this fucker stay dead or dean would end it all. How insulting that this guy you made up and have a psychosexual obsession with gets fixated on this random npc and you try to accept it but then after youuuu bring him back he asks if he's god. The gall. I would rekill him on the spot. Inserted himself into the narrative as a dorky little guy even, you know that's his type. No fucking luck

[lazarrusrising]

The Tiny Dean Collection: Supernatural 3x03, Bad Day At Black Rock

[lazarrusrising]

Another deanism I have been collecting, the mouth swipe;

[lazarrusrising]

[missyoudean]

yes please, keep providing

[lazarrusrising]

[lazarrusrising]

[lazarrusrising]

[lazarrusrising]

[lazarrusrising]

[bowlegschester]

[pbeeanjay]

adapting

[lazarrusrising]

Every Episode of Supernatural: 44/327

2x22 All Hell Breaks Loose Part Two, Dean and Bobby pt3

DEAN: That's my point. Dad brought me back, Bobby. I'm not even supposed to be here. At least this way, something good could come out of it, you know? I--I--It's like my life could mean something. BOBBY: What? And it didn't before?! Have you got that low of an opinion of yourself? Are you that screwed in the head?! DEAN: I couldn't let him die, Bobby. I couldn't. He's my brother. BOBBY: How is your brother gonna feel when he knows your going to hell? How'd you feel when you knew your dad went for you? DEAN: You can't tell him. You take a shot at me, whatever you got to do, but please don't tell him. BOBBY begins to cry