[song-of-the-spheres]

Aral Vorkosigan, talking to himself in the mirror at some point during Shards of Honor, probably: "all right you've gotten to first base (fighting alien monsters together) and second base (telling her about your disastrous first marriage). next is third base (proposing to her) and then fourth base (asking her to mercy kill you if necessary). then maybe you can think about kissing her."

Aral Vorkosigan at the end of Shards of Honor, probably: "holy shit it worked?! oh thank God."

[penandinkprincess]

extremely funny scenario in which rose joins shane as his plus one and moral support for going after the guy he wants at all stars because she can be his buddy and also his cover for making up for lost time with ilya

which is complicated by the fact that ilya takes one look at rose and shane at the bar (rose's arm looped through shane's in what ilya doesn't know is just a friends move) and BOOKS IT so he doesn't have to see this

and then proceeds to avoid them at EVERY fucking turn

this all terminates into rose going "fuck it I'm a true bro and I'm making this happen so help me GOD" and managing to arrange locking them in a closet together (which is. so funny. but this is not the time to point out the punchline.) (she'll save it.) so ilya can't run away.

and it's very sweet and they have their moment of honesty and yay back to ilya's room now fo-

the-the door is locked.

because it turns out that rose got a LITTLE too enthusiastic in locking it after her plan worked PERFECTLY and now something in the mechanism is broken.

so in one sense, shane did come out of the closet, but in another sense that's going to be funny only probably a few months from now, he AND ilya are now stuck in the closet in a way that is both metaphorical and also. painfully literal.

[kimberellaroo]

This scenario is also raising mental images of Rose from Minnesota "I have brothers" Landry being so determined to pin Ilya down to make him talk with Shane that all glamourous movie star persona drops away and she just fucking tackles him, and Ilya has no idea how to react to this attack so she actually succeeds in wrestling him to the ground

Shane's looking slightly scared by all this in the background, Ilya's saying "Shane! Your girlfriend attacked me!" And she's going "I'm NOT his girlfriend, now you two are going to TALK to each other, or so help me god" and drags them both to the closet

[penandinkprincess]

the idea of petite movie star rose landry tapping into her roots and turning into a linebacker to take down giant professional athlete ilya rozanov is SO goddamn funny

because also ilya would NOT know how to fucking react

like he wrestles with svetlana for fun but this is?? NOT FUN?? IS THIS?? AN ATTACK?? WHAT THE F U C K IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?? HE CAN'T ACTUALLY HIT HER BUT HE IS BEING FUCKING?? PINNED DOWN?? OH MY GOD???? DID HOLLANDER TELL HER ABOUT THEIR PAST TOGETHER????? IS THIS JEALOUSY?? THAT'S EXCITING BUT ALSO GET?? OFF??? WHAT THE FUCK???

[kimberellaroo]

"Shane, help me, call her off!" as Shane's just got his hands out, palms up, in a helpless "what am I supposed to do?" gesture

[penandinkprincess]

"shane!! get your girlfriend!!"

"she's not my girlfriend!" "i'm not his girlfriend!"

*brief moment of ooooh??? yay???? before returning to 'pinned to the ground with his face in the dirt' reality* "OKAY WELL GET YOUR WHATEVER OFF OF ME."

[penandinkprincess]

GOD a huge contributing factor to rose not keeping track of time and noticing how long shane has been mia is that baby girl gets DRUNK on how many people are buying her shots for being the one to take ilya rozanov DOWN.

[omens-of-what-is-to-cum]

the mention of younger brother Ilya vs older sister Rose is killing me, because I think Ilya would just be soooo WILDY unprepared for this dynamic.

like, his older brother is both absentee and abusive, so I imagine his entire view of sibling relationships is incredibly tarred, and this woman is also his Greatest Enemy In Life.

so he’s getting youngerbrotherbodyslammed by this women who (like all older sisters, can just clock a younger sibling idk what to tell you) is supposed to hate him, but is treating him like a twit child???????

he’s squawking at her to get the fuck off of him, and she’s all “shut up you dramatic loser, you’re literally fine stop whining. Get your shit together and get your man oh my god!!!” And he’s like “DO I KNOW YOU????”

[penandinkprincess]

rose being a little worried this isn't going to work out because they can't even get ilya in front of them to even say hi, but then she gets eyes on ilya JUST long enough to go OOOH! you are Little Brother Shaped, and now she knows EXACTLY how to handle this.

ahem.

[penandinkprincess]

@martelldoran NOT SHANE AND HIS DESIGNATED REPRESENTATIVE

"listen, shane wants--stop whining, you baby, you're fine--shane wants to talk to you"

"AND I WANT A CRAZY PERSON TO NOT BE ON TOP OF ME RIGHT NOW. WE DON'T ALWAYS GET WHAT WE WANT."

"🙄 it's your own fault. you kept running."

"oh, so shane hasn't told you how much HE likes to run??"

"he made a mistake, okay? and he's sorry."

shane from a safe distance because tbh? kind of thrown by what just happened: "i am!"

"what in the FUCK is actually happening to me right now"

[penandinkprincess]

"I WAS KIND OF FUCKING BUSY BEING TACKLED BY A CRAZY PERSON, SVETA"

"watch your fucking tone, or I'll get her phone number from hollander and tell her to tackle you again until you have manners."

[penandinkprincess]

the idea of rose also finding this SO fun and it becoming part of their dynamic moving forward is so special to me. she won't do it in public because neither of them wants that press coverage, but the second they're in private??

:) welcome to the octagon, motherfucker :)

[penandinkprincess]

svetlana finds it really funny but doesn't usually actually want to get physical when he's goofing off, so she's happy to offload mma fighting to rose

shane and svetlana at the cottage chilling out on lounge chairs with umbrella drinks and sunglasses while supervising rose and ilya lightly drowning each other in the lake after trying to shove each other off of the dock first

[deutsche-bahn]

Der Kollege ist uns heute Vormittag ins Büro gehüpft. Sollen wir ihn einstellen?

Sofort. Gute Mitarbeiter sind so selten geworden, wenn ihr dem eine Packung Körner auf 'ne Tastatur schüttet kann er sogar Kundenemails beantworten :)

[ilyapasta]

Actually, I do want season 2 to blow its music budget on a mainstream song. But it’s not Diamonds by Rihanna, and not even because I dislike the placement of that song. I want them to blow all their money to get the Centaurs’ goal song, DJ Khaled’s “All I do is Win,” because I want the absolutely rancid vibes of Ilya scoring a hat trick and then just skating dejectedly back to the bench while that song plays as their fan (1) cheers, because yeah Ilya got a hat trick, but currently the score is 10-3.

[ilyapasta]

Also the team kicking their ass is like, Columbus 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

[qcharlie]

please god watch this right now

[fangirltothefullest]

The editing of this video is hysterical and genius- they switch between so many editing styles to reflect exactly what kind of thing they're going for in each segment its GREAT.

[ilikebooksanstuff]

i love how suzanne just gives us a little treat by mentioning the katniss plant every book. like here u go. ik u miss our girl. she's fine. enjoy lowercase katniss

[ilyapasta]

Shane “do it scared, but do it” Hollander. We forget to put respect on his name. Shane applying an achievement mentally to everything he does. Shane saying, fine, I’ll fucking do it:

Go to Tampa, get his man ✅

Show his man that he cares ✅

Get man to his luxury wilderness getaway, ply him with burgers and beer and kicking around a soccer ball and video games and honestly and tenderness and solitude ✅

Make plan to keep man forever, AND preserve their fucking lives and careers ✅

Look at parents and says “no actually he fucks me good and I love him, no more lies, and also we’re all gonna be a family now I’m done with compartmentalizing” ✅

Win another fucking Stanley cup using latent adrenaline and serotonin from landing hottest baddie in the NHL ✅

Propose marriage like a boss: candles, ring, forgot second ring but who cares, carpet frottage, sincerity ✅

“I choose him. Come on, Ilya.” ✅✅✅✅✅✅

[hedge-rambles]

Something I loved in Platform Decay was the whole thing of "sigils" being, very clearly like, emojis. I can't recall if they're mentioned much before this book, but the way Sofi uses them makes it clear what they really are.

Which makes this reread funny when, a few pages in, I'm hit with this line:

I send Three the schematics highlighted where the potential security personnel were located; it replied with an acknowledgement sigil and an updated map projection.

MB: Vital mission information, potential dangers and schematics.

Three: 👍

[rainbow-femme]

They move in together full time and Ilya notices that Anya acts differently with Shane than she does with him, more quiet and less playful, and he worries that means she doesn’t like Shane or is jealous, so he hires a dog trainer to come over and see if there’s anything they need to do to help

After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly

And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?

Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose

Shane comes home to Ilya with his face in his hands going oh god I’m not Anya’s dad I’m her brother and she thinks we’re both your pets. And Shane just goes. What.

[highladyluck]

Hello my beautiful human body! I’ve invited you here today to discuss adopting non-mucus-based solutions to common challenges—

[wellfine]

TRAGEDY: every member of a once-flourishing group chat is now employed

[darlingofdots]

In the background of the video clip, posted by a fan at the hotel breakfast just before Christmas 2018, Shane Hollander is talking on the phone. He looks tired but he's smiling, pushing scrambled eggs around his plate with a fork. "I saw, baby," he says. "No, definitely, no way that was slashing, I'm with you. You'll get them next time, though. Beautiful goal you got in the first, that was so fucking sexy. I can't wait to see you tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Love you."

Which leads to a bit of an uproar because omg Shane Hollander has a girlfriend?? who plays hockey???? that's so on brand for him like. okay who was playing last night and got a goal in the first period, we need to find the woman who has Shane Hollander crooning into his phone like a lovestruck teenager. and the consensus lands on an unsuspecting and entirely unrelated CWHL forward who has never even been in the same city as Shane but the Internet is running with the story and there's journalists harassing her and Shane has to get his agent to call her agent so he can apologise for this mess and she's like, dude, I know it's not your fault, but Shane feels so fucking bad about it, you know?

And unfortunately it doesn't really let up as quickly as they thought because it's right before Christmas and isn't this a great story, fucking Hallmark movie shit, so a very unimpressed Leila (her name is Leila) has to look a reporter in the eye after her team just played a really good fucking game of hockey and everybody wants to talk to her about some fucking guy, you know? so she looks him in the eye and says, no, I am not dating Shane Hollander, I have never dated Shane Hollander, I will never date Shane Hollander, I am literally a lesbian. I have a whole-ass girlfriend. She plays for the Blades.

And Shane Hollander is so consumed by jealousy he almost chokes.

[martelldoran]

@jimmysownworld you can't leave this in the tags

[darlingofdots]

Loving the idea that after some time has passed and everybody has calmed tf down, it becomes a silly little joke like yeah, how's my girlfriend's boyfriend doing?, they mostly hang out at hockey events especially once the Irina Foundation is a bit more established and Shane is putting more effort into his charity work but then they just always end up getting tipsy in a corner together, talking puck and bitching about the press and how physios torture you for their own sick enjoyment, all three of them laughing and it's genuinely fun and he's fine, it's fine, Shane is not burning alive with greed at all.

Leila sends him a photo the next morning at buttfuck o'clock of her gf in running gear like "i told her Shane Hollander would bring me breakfast in bed, not abandon me to go exercise" and Shane replies "so sorry to disappoint you also does this mean Marie got the code for the hotel gym?" and then they gradually become real friends and the next time they’re at some gala Leila's insta story complaining that "they’re ganging up on me" because Shane and Marie dragged her out for a run goes a bit too viral and of course the tabloids run all sorts of bullshit about how he's cheating in Rose Landry with Leila or on Leila with Marie or

once Hollanov are out and public the running joke is that everybody thought Ilya was the womaniser but Shane somehow managed to land three girlfriends at once

[garashir]

hey friends where is that picture of boromir with the gondor flag except its a pride flag?

[lesbiansforboromir]

Couldn’t find it so I made another because you’re right that it’s a crime and it’s definitely my duty to remedy it

[ily-a]

Hollanov + text posts (part 1)

[moethh]

"cold showers are better for you" WRONG! SCALDING HOT SHOWERS FOREVER!!!!!!!! 🚿🚿🚿🚿♨️♨️♨️🚿💧💧💧💧💦🚿🚿🚿🚿🚿🚿🚿🚿🚿🚿🚿🚿🚿🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🚿💧💧💦💦💦🔥🔥🔥🔥🚿🚿🚿🔥♨️♨️🚿🚿🚿♨️♨️♨️🚿🚿🚿♨️♨️♨️🔥🔥🔥🚿💧💧💦💦💦🔥🔥🔥🔥🚿🚿💧💧💦💦🚿🔥♨️♨️🚿♨️♨️💧💦💦♨️🚿🚿🚿🚿🚿🚿🔥🔥🔥🔥🚿♨️♨️🔥🔥🔥!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hapalopus]

Just saw someone saying Thara Celehar would "not fucking date a cop" and I regret to inform you that Thara Celehar is canonically a pro-cop anti-revolution monarchist who upholds the state religion every day of his life. I love him, I love him so much, but he's not a leftist activist. He's just gay and depressed.

[moethh]

“so God is an invisible shepherd lamb beaver bread???” “And they eat him every Sunday” this movie is incredible dude