Week I: Holy MOLY was I nervous. I didn’t know much about Meisner, but I was well-aware of its reputation for making people cry or become enraged or some other powerful inner emotion, and I was scared. It was probably mostly in part to the fact that, walking into class, I was one of the youngest students by about ten years. There were other people in their late 30′s and even their 40′s, actors and opera singers and performers who had been working professionally for years already. How was I supposed to match them? Luckily for me, we didn’t dive right into the thick of it right at the first week. We began with our names and why we decided to take the class. I told the class of how I felt like I’ve been lacking structure in my work because I’ve never properly studied any sort of technique. I was looking for a new way to approach my work, and this seemed like a good place to start. We concluded the class with a preview of the repetition we’d be doing in the weeks to come, and a sense memory exercise. The instructor of the class, Alex led us through a story with our eyes closed in which we were to envision a loved one falling ill and eventually dying. It was a moving
Week II: We finally began rep! I was so incredibly excited to try it out. I’d never gotten a chance to do one-on-one repetition, even at Drew. Unfortunately for me, the partner I worked with was one of the most rigid actors I’ve ever seen. He found it difficult to take direction, and it made the instructor focus more on loosening him up than giving me prompts. I had to come to terms with this-- after all, it’s his job to work on everything at once, not just me. It was just a slight disappointment that I didn’t feel that I’d absorbed a great deal from that particular round. I must say, however, I was rather pleased that I found several ways of pushing and prodding my partner out of his comfort zone. I liked the creative ways I approached the rep, such as using ultimatums and mocking.
Week III: I felt ready this week. I wanted to make some sort of breakthrough that I hadn’t gotten to before. I was slightly disgruntled to be working with Hannah; it was a completely different dynamic doing your second rep ever with someone you’ve known for three years. That being said, I was shocked when I was able to use that during the exercise. Typically, I hold myself back from getting truly angry, both in real life and on stage. I never allow myself to reach a 10 on the Unofficial Rage Scale, but Alex implored me to keep pushing. In fact, he counted from one to ten as Hannah and I duked it out, challenging us to top each other. I found myself pushing through and reaching a level of power and intention that I rarely felt. It was as if a white light popped in front of my eyes for a split second and suddenly the moment had changed; I had won, both in the rep and against myself.
Week IV: Another week of pure rep. I approached the exercise I did with my partner with an open mind and allowed myself to be made uncomfortable. I really decided to work on staying presenting and observing this week, and it helped me react authentically with organic intentions. I put most of my energy into noticing, something I had really struggled with in the weeks prior. Alex would always stop me and put a hand on my back to ground me.
“Stop trying to figure it out. Stop trying to create a strategy. Just let it happen, notice, and respond.”
I had been looking at repetition too much like a game of chess. It wasn’t about winning, or figuring out where my partner was trying to take the journey. It was about the series of moments we were creating together.
Week V: I wasn’t looking forward to doing rep this week at all. I was bored of it, which made me feel oddly guilty. Perhaps guilty isn’t the right word. Maybe more... embarrassed? Like the feeling when you’re not pleased to be going home for the holidays. You know that you’re supposed to look forward to it but in reality, it brings on a sense of dread more than anything else. In any case, I was pleasantly surprised when we didn’t jump right into rep upon arrival. In fact, the first half of the class was dedicated to something entirely different. We (that is, Alex and the students in the class) made an enormous list on the whiteboard. Well, it was more of a verbal explosion, really. We blurted out everything we’ve ever thought that made us think that we couldn’t be a proper actor. Though there were some expected reasons (too masculine, not masculine enough, not pretty enough, etc.), there were certainly more that were funny, even if still true. Among the most memorable were “hands too sweaty”, “awkward sexual tension”, and “horrid eye contact with strangers”. After over an hour and a half of spilling the ticks that mentally obstructed us on stage, Alex turned to the board and simply said: “Fuck off.” He encouraged us to do the same, building from a one to a ten, and we obliged. I’m fully aware of the cheesiness of the entire scenario, but I would be lying if I said it wasn’t liberating. After the break when we did our last few rounds of rep for the class, any time I would have an invasive thought creep in from the back of my head, I could hear a stronger voice telling it to “fuck off”, and it became just another phrase on the board. I’m not sure why this final exercise had such a massive impact on my work, but it was incredible how much it helped my focus and presence during rep. I look forward to using it in rehearsal in the future.
After the final class, we all went down into the theatre lobby and had a drink. The conversation shifted from acting to politics and nightlife, and we talked freely to each other as people, not as scene partners. I really had a fantastic time in this class, and met a dozen or so really first-rate London-based actors. I listed the top takeaways I got from Meisner I in a previous post, but other than those key lessons, I made a group of friends in the industry that I can turn to in the future.