Lil' Bleater Goat Thoughts

A place for headcanons about everyone's favorite goat. Header image by the lovely https://heyriel-art.tumblr.com/

[flightsfancy22]

The second instalment of what is now apparently a GoatDad!Eskel theme. @loki-is-my-kink-awakening what sort of Pandora’s box did you open?

[ladycibia]

:D lil bleater could eat my wallet and I would give him lil kissies 😊

thank you for supporting lil' bleater financially and emotionally

[mayasooong]

Geralt has Roach, Eskel has Lil Bleater so Lambert has to have an animal companion too.

I’d imagine he’d have a parrot (because it matches with Vesemir’s hat) and teach it all the swear words and annoy people together.

[n3ongold3n]

5 hours ago i might have thought of a witty thing to go with the drawing but nah

instead of drawing the stuff from my list like i should do (want to actually! orz) here’s Eskel power-walking a bunch of goats round kaer morhen

[eskel-loves-lilbleater]

Goat dad just out walking the fam <3

[yucksoup]

You heard him.

[zoedoesntdraw]

Eskel the Goat Dad, now in color! <3 <3

[ladycibia]

how many Lil Bleaters can one Eskel hold

never enough

sorry for the rough sketch...! I haven’t drawn in a while ;;

[witcher-goat-thoughts]

Goat Thought

Lil Bleater was bottle fed and is very friendly

But also very bitey

She nibbles hands and shirts whenever she wants a treat

But the nibbles don’t bother the witchers

They just kinda tickle

Lambert secretly loves them

[eskel-loves-lilbleater]

Check out this gorgeous and adorable image by misscuddly_arts  on Instagram! Isn’t it cute?  I adore the way Bleats has her tongue out and the detail on Eskel is wonderful. :)

Please check out the rest of the artist’s Instagram, there’s a lot of great Witcher art on there!

[witcher-goat-thoughts]

Goat Thought

Eskel has to build a smaller, goat-safe version of the Witcher training obstacle course because Lil Bleater keeps getting into the real one and he’s worried that she’ll get hurt.

[witcher-goat-thoughts]

Goat Thought

Lil Bleater doesn’t know how to go down stairs

She just tries to jump every time

Eskel has to carry her so she doesn’t get hurt

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Geralt, looking at Eskel in W3: Well... you've rounded out a bit... Still got some of last winter's blubber on you.

Everyone: Eskel has a secret lover on the Path.

Me: Eskel has an army of little old ladies who adore him, because he's polite, kind and does everything he can to help out.

He takes their contracts. They vary from tending to the herb garden, collecting their medicine from the apothecary a town over and rescuing Mr Tibbles from a nekker. Everything a grandson might do. Most of them have lost their grandchildren to plague, famine and war.

In return, they feed him pie, knit him glove inserts and socks, and send him away with food parcels (and a lot of juicy gossip). He's given up trying to refuse their food, because he knows it empowers them to pay him in the only way they can.

Shout out to @tsukiwolf42 who imagined the ol' gals dragging big, burly Eskel in by the ear for something to eat because he looked a little too thin, and LaMadameMeduse on Twitter who suggested he loves the gossip and the socks always match his gambeson.

[kueble]

One year he comes by with a tiny goat he keeps insisting is bait, and the grannies collectively say "hell no!" Lil Bleater gets a name and her own knitted goodies, and Eskel knows when to admit defeat.

[on-a-lucky-tide]

A brilliant addition. A few winters later...

Lambert: When are you going to feed that goat to a forktail?

Eskel: I can't. The Grey Army ask about her every time I visit.

Lambert, thinking this is a new militia or something: The what now?

Eskel: Long story.

Later, Lambert drags it out of Eskel that he has this network of knitters and feeders throughout the Continent (and they all now know about the goat, because they have a system of communication as yet unfathomable to man).

When Lambert suggests he could just make up a new story each year about her, Eskel is so offended by the idea of lying to the ol' dames that he doesn't talk to Lambert for three whole days.

[everythingfox]

Baby goat

[witcher-goat-thoughts]

Goat Thought

Eskel and Lil Bleater take naps together in patches of sunlight

[witcher-goat-thoughts]

Goat Thought

Picture with me a Yzma-esc mage who really liked to fuck around with the mutagens and potions

This mage experiments by adding goat genetic material into a potion with the intention of improving Witcher climbing or something

But

When newly minted Witcher Eskel tries the potion he gets goated

Goatified

Whatever we want to call it

Suddenly there’s a panic because each Witcher that passes the trials is valuable and now this one is running around as a fucking goat

The elder witchers and mages are frantically trying to fix what went wrong and turn Eskel back

Meanwhile Eskel is having a fucking blast messing around as a goat, once he got over the panic of turning into an ungulate

He climbs all over Kaer Morhen, jumps from increasingly worrying perches, chews anything that holds still long enough, and disrupts training sessions by biting the instructor on the ass

When he finally gets turned back he claims that he had no control over his goat instincts and can’t be blamed for the chaos

He lied

[a-melin]

[starlightomatic]

[letsboldlygomotherfuckers]

direct action