Fiction, Fatigue, and Feeling Bad.
Sixty-six days.
That's the interval I've just had between writing days. I didn't start out intending to have a hiatus, and when I did decide to take some time off, I didn't announce it "officially". I just went about my other business quietly, and tiredly. Because that was the issue. I had other things I needed to do, and far too little energy.
It used to be that I only felt mildly bad when I went through bouts of non-writing. After all, I was unpublished and had no deadlines to meet, so nobody but myself was affected by my lack of output. But these days, there are actually people who are invested in my work! People are waiting to read what I'm going to publish next! Despite the fact that I have always had confidence in my writing, and have always been told that I have a talent for writing (and not just by my Mum and Dad - by real editors who don't know me, too!), I'm still a little dazed by the response people have had to my published works.
But there's where the "Feeling Bad" catches up with me. I know that the majority of my readership knows me personally and understands that I have health issues and understands that it may take me some time between books. And I know that there isn't a set pace at which I have to churn out new books anyway - look at Harper Lee's follow up timing (not that I'm claiming to be the next Harper Lee). The Feeling Bad comes from my own personality more than any pressure put on me by readers. I want to Get Things Done. I want to push things through, I want to hammer out word counts, edit like a demon, format my little heart out, ace my cover designs. I want to work so much more than my illnesses allow me to, and because of that I feel like I'm not giving my readers all that I could be giving them, and that disappoints me.
I currently have two books in progress - one Witchin' Fiction title and one general fiction - one planned and ready to be written, and one in the beginning stages of planning. I'm creatively champing at the bit, but mentally and physically about ready to be taken out behind the barn!
The analogy that a novel is a marathon not a sprint just came to mind, but for me it is is neither, and I have to remind myself of that. For me, a novel is a leisurely stroll with as many rest stops to recuperate and enjoy the view as I need. And my friends will be waiting for me at the end, however long it takes me to wander my path.
~ Eloren đđ§šđÂ













