Hello, Tumblr! You can call me Alcaeus; I used to be a Christian, but I now worship Gods from the Greek pantheon. This Tumblr is basically to help me connect with the community, and learn more about it and grow as a person.
I also have an otherkin/alterhuman blog, for those interested, @feathereddragonkin . Just read the dni before interacting. If I ever have a wrong idea about something, feel free to correct me. All I ask is that you're kind about it. I grew up in a strict Christian household, so all of this is very new to me. And if any seasoned witches have some starting advice for me I'd greatly appreciate it!
Lord Dionysus is my patron, but I also worship King Zeus, Lady Aphrodite, Lord Ares, and Lord Apollo. I love them so so much, I can't even say.
DNI List!
Nazi, pro-Israel, misogynists, anti furry/otherkin/agere/Petre blogs, hate blogs, terfs, NSFW blogs, religious fanatics, homophobes, transphobes, ped0s, political, ableists, anti-witchcraft, ect.
Fun fact: the name Alcaeus is a Greek name meaning "strength and perseverance".
Me: Awesome, I finally got a nice candle for Apollo! I feel like I've kinda put worship of Him on the back burner, so I'm just gonna light His new candle and chill for awhile before bed!
Me four hours later, after completing two online classes and writing four pages worth of notes in my journal:
Whenever someone tells you or implies that you're a bad person for worshipping someone like Zeus, just remember the time my partner was out of town for a week, much to my anxiety because I don't like not being able to reach those I love. I prayed to the Gods to keep them safe, especially Zeus, as my partner was house sitting and He is the Protector of the Home.
Come to find out later, my partner was stressed during the ride home and asked Zeus for a rainstorm to help calm them, and he graciously did so. They texted me asking if they could give him an offering on my altar XD
Thank you Papa Zeus. Thank you for comforting my partner when I couldn't.💙
Deconstructing the cult mindset that the JW organization drilled into me has been bringing up a lot of feelings lately.
TW for CSA, cult mentality, and general child abuse⚠️
I fucking hate how this still affects me so deeply. Logically, I know that I've only just started to rebuild my life, and it's normal to take awhile to feel any flavor of normal. Being a Witness isn't like some other religions that you can have alongside your life. It becomes your entire existence. It becomes what you think about all the time, your job is just to support your ministry, I knew people who dedicated 50+ hours a month to the preaching work. It affects how you dress, talk, eat, entertain yourself, how you view the world, even how you view yourself.
As a Hellenic witch, I need to constantly remind myself that the Gods don't demand my attention 24/7. I have to actively tell myself that it's ok to dress how I want, that I can read smut, that I can draw a naked figure. I hate that I have to tell myself that.
I hate that on top of being in a massively harmful cult that I also had to deal with an abusive home life. My parents made me run laps around our house to the point where I had worn a path around the place and all I could do was collapse on my bed and cry once they finally decided I'd run enough. I had parents who told me I was lazy and worthless, all while I was:
Doing the dishes
Cleaning and refilling the water filters
Filling ice cube trays
Wiping counters and tables
Cleaning the bathroom
Emptying the litter box
Sweeping
Mopping
Dusting
Vacuuming
Looking after their rabbits and chickens
Raking leaves
Shoveling snow
Mowing grass on multiple properties
All while I was also:
Going in service twice a week
Going to every meeting
Helping clean the kingdom hall
Babysitting my brothers
Getting myself through online school
Working
Trying to manage my rapidly declining mental health
But yes. I was so lazy and good for nothing. I graduated high school at 15 years old. But I'm so unmotivated and stupid. I held a steady job, but I was worthless. I was more active in the congregation than anyone else in my family, but Jehovah was soooo disappointed in me.
And mind you, all through this, I was praying. Begging Jehovah for help. Pleading for answers, talking to the elders, asking for guidance. You know what I was told?
"Well, you need to be obedient to your parents."
"Maybe work on your spiritual routine."
They'd read the same three scriptures like a well oiled machine and send me on my way. Grown ass men scratching their own asses wondering why things didn't magically fix themselves.
I. Did. Everything.
I did everything right. I was a good kid. I was the kid parents of friends wanted their kids to be like. I was smart, so smart. I could skim a watchtower article and come up with a deep and thoughtful comment to share at every meeting. My idea of fun was staying at home reading the Insight books. I was a good witness kid.
And yet I wasn't enough. I was crumbling to pieces.
I developed depression, an anxiety disorder, cptsd, hell my brain couldn't handle all of the trauma being shoveled onto me so I developed DID for the Gods' sake!
Physical abuse
Mental/emotional abuse
Child sexual abuse
Neglect
Abuse by my siblings
Isolation
Manipulation
Financial abuse
Child parentification
All things I suffered throughout my childhood, from multiple people. Sometimes it just blows my mind. And throughout all of this, I prayed. Prayer for help. I wanted so badly for Jehovah to just tell me what I was doing wrong to deserve all of this.
The truth is. I didn't.
I did nothing wrong. I was a child. Who deserved to be loved and protected. A child who was praying to a God who either didn't exist to begin with or was deaf by choice to my pain. If the version of Jehovah and Jesus that I believed in really exists, this is not their organization. Their organization wouldn't tell people to shun their loved ones if they disagree with any of their doctrines. Their organization would not turn a blind eye to the worldwide sexual abuse within their walls. It wouldn't tell abused children to "obey their parents". It wouldn't tell Elders to call the Legal department before calling law enforcement when pedos are reported to them.
If Jehovah and Jesus truly are out there somewhere, they would turn up their noses at this disgusting whore house of a religion.
A mood board in honor of Father Zeus, as a small thank you for a display of poetic justice I just experienced 💙
All pics except the one with the horns and blue cloth are from Pinterest (I drew that for His altar)
⚠️Explaination under the cut⚠️ (abuse discussion!)
So, I've spoken a few times about my abusive father. His actions hurt me more than I can ever say, but I had pretty much given up on any type of "retribution" or "justice". I know I'll never get an apology or any sort of acknowledgement of what happened when I was a kid.
Fast forward many years. I've been in therapy for awhile now, I've built a community of amazing loving people (including my partner and best friend, I love them so much I can't say), I've separated myself from the cult he raised me in, and I'm doing better. Healing is anything but linear, but I'm leagues better than I was when I moved out.
I've found Gods that love their worshippers, don't ignore their cries for help, and show their support when it's needed the most. In recent months, I started closely worshipping Father Zeus. That comes with a layer of complexity, especially considering that most associate him with his mythology (the Gods are not their mythology, btw), but I've found great fulfillment and happiness in worshipping the King of Olympus.
Among his many titles and domains, Zeus is regarded as the God of Justice. This is why he's often depicted alongside the scales of justice, and the main focal point of this story.
I recently traveled to visit my grandma on my father's side, who I don't get to see often due to distance. She and I ended up talking in the dining room while she filled me in on what's been going on. I went no contact with my father ages ago, so she was letting me know what had been going on. Amidst everything, my Uncle(whom I love dearly) had a stroke, his third one I believe? Anyways, he was admitted to hospice in my father's hometown, so of course my father took it upon himself to take care of my uncle as much as he could. Here's where the karma comes in.
I find out from my grandma that not only is my father taking care of his older brother, he is now suffering verbal and emotional abuse from him. The stroke caused significant damage to my uncle, causing him to become more verbally aggressive. It's progressed to the point where family members have started telling him many of the things people told me about my father.
"Just leave him be, you can't change him!"
"You shouldn't take this abuse!"
"It's only hurting you the longer you stay!"
Now.
No one. Absolutely no one. Deserves to be abused.
But there is an inevitable sense of satisfaction that comes with seeing your abusers suffer the same exact treatment they subjected you to. And even if my father never connects the dots, never comes to me apologizing for what he put me through now that he fully understands how it feels...
I will know.
A part of me feels bad for gaining any satisfaction from all this, but a bigger part of me feels like I can finally lay it to rest. The bad guy has gotten his due punishment, and the protagonist can now continue on with their life. I can put the book down, satisfied that at the very least, I can work towards a happy ending and leave the demon to his demons. I don't have to carry that anymore. The scales of justice weighed the situation, and karma caught up to my father.
You'll never see this John. I know you won't. But your daughter can finally be allowed to rest. She is safe, in the arms of the man I am becoming. Her cries for help were answered, by the Gods who chose me. By the God of Wine, who opened the door and invited me into Olympus' loving arms. By Apollo, who wakes me with the sun, kissing my face with his light and drying my tears with his rays. By Aphrodite, who teaches me more about self love than you ever did. By Ares, who holds a picture of the child you put last on his altar, keeping that child protected. And lastly, by Father Zeus. The King of the Gods, who chose me as his worshipper, and who finally brought you to justice.
I feel like people needa learn to separate gods in terms of religion and worship from gods in the myths
Like you can't go "Why would you worship zeus? He sucks" cause the myths are that, MYTHS, in stories zeus may do shitty things cause he personifies the sky, the weather, and reflects how kings or people in power would act. They're not literal. Worshipping a deity and who they are in stories is very different.
On the flip side, I don't think it's disrespectful to go "yeah zeus is kind of an asshole" if im strictly speaking about the myths. I'm talking about Zeus as a character in stories. I'm not speaking about him in a spiritual context.
