Hello, Tumblr! You can call me Alcaeus; I used to be a Christian, but I now worship Gods from the Greek pantheon. This Tumblr is basically to help me connect with the community, and learn more about it and grow as a person.
I also have an otherkin/alterhuman blog, for those interested, @feathereddragonkin . Just read the dni before interacting. If I ever have a wrong idea about something, feel free to correct me. All I ask is that you're kind about it. I grew up in a strict Christian household, so all of this is very new to me. And if any seasoned witches have some starting advice for me I'd greatly appreciate it!
Lord Dionysus is my patron, but I also worship King Zeus, Lady Aphrodite, Lord Ares, and Lord Apollo. I love them so so much, I can't even say.
DNI List!
Nazi, pro-Israel, misogynists, anti furry/otherkin/agere/Petre blogs, hate blogs, terfs, NSFW blogs, religious fanatics, homophobes, transphobes, ped0s, political, ableists, anti-witchcraft, ect.
Fun fact: the name Alcaeus is a Greek name meaning "strength and perseverance".
Deconstructing the cult mindset that the JW organization drilled into me has been bringing up a lot of feelings lately.
TW for CSA, cult mentality, and general child abuse⚠️
I fucking hate how this still affects me so deeply. Logically, I know that I've only just started to rebuild my life, and it's normal to take awhile to feel any flavor of normal. Being a Witness isn't like some other religions that you can have alongside your life. It becomes your entire existence. It becomes what you think about all the time, your job is just to support your ministry, I knew people who dedicated 50+ hours a month to the preaching work. It affects how you dress, talk, eat, entertain yourself, how you view the world, even how you view yourself.
As a Hellenic witch, I need to constantly remind myself that the Gods don't demand my attention 24/7. I have to actively tell myself that it's ok to dress how I want, that I can read smut, that I can draw a naked figure. I hate that I have to tell myself that.
I hate that on top of being in a massively harmful cult that I also had to deal with an abusive home life. My parents made me run laps around our house to the point where I had worn a path around the place and all I could do was collapse on my bed and cry once they finally decided I'd run enough. I had parents who told me I was lazy and worthless, all while I was:
Doing the dishes
Cleaning and refilling the water filters
Filling ice cube trays
Wiping counters and tables
Cleaning the bathroom
Emptying the litter box
Sweeping
Mopping
Dusting
Vacuuming
Looking after their rabbits and chickens
Raking leaves
Shoveling snow
Mowing grass on multiple properties
All while I was also:
Going in service twice a week
Going to every meeting
Helping clean the kingdom hall
Babysitting my brothers
Getting myself through online school
Working
Trying to manage my rapidly declining mental health
But yes. I was so lazy and good for nothing. I graduated high school at 15 years old. But I'm so unmotivated and stupid. I held a steady job, but I was worthless. I was more active in the congregation than anyone else in my family, but Jehovah was soooo disappointed in me.
And mind you, all through this, I was praying. Begging Jehovah for help. Pleading for answers, talking to the elders, asking for guidance. You know what I was told?
"Well, you need to be obedient to your parents."
"Maybe work on your spiritual routine."
They'd read the same three scriptures like a well oiled machine and send me on my way. Grown ass men scratching their own asses wondering why things didn't magically fix themselves.
I. Did. Everything.
I did everything right. I was a good kid. I was the kid parents of friends wanted their kids to be like. I was smart, so smart. I could skim a watchtower article and come up with a deep and thoughtful comment to share at every meeting. My idea of fun was staying at home reading the Insight books. I was a good witness kid.
And yet I wasn't enough. I was crumbling to pieces.
I developed depression, an anxiety disorder, cptsd, hell my brain couldn't handle all of the trauma being shoveled onto me so I developed DID for the Gods' sake!
Physical abuse
Mental/emotional abuse
Child sexual abuse
Neglect
Abuse by my siblings
Isolation
Manipulation
Financial abuse
Child parentification
All things I suffered throughout my childhood, from multiple people. Sometimes it just blows my mind. And throughout all of this, I prayed. Prayer for help. I wanted so badly for Jehovah to just tell me what I was doing wrong to deserve all of this.
The truth is. I didn't.
I did nothing wrong. I was a child. Who deserved to be loved and protected. A child who was praying to a God who either didn't exist to begin with or was deaf by choice to my pain. If the version of Jehovah and Jesus that I believed in really exists, this is not their organization. Their organization wouldn't tell people to shun their loved ones if they disagree with any of their doctrines. Their organization would not turn a blind eye to the worldwide sexual abuse within their walls. It wouldn't tell abused children to "obey their parents". It wouldn't tell Elders to call the Legal department before calling law enforcement when pedos are reported to them.
If Jehovah and Jesus truly are out there somewhere, they would turn up their noses at this disgusting whore house of a religion.
A mood board in honor of Father Zeus, as a small thank you for a display of poetic justice I just experienced 💙
All pics except the one with the horns and blue cloth are from Pinterest (I drew that for His altar)
⚠️Explaination under the cut⚠️ (abuse discussion!)
So, I've spoken a few times about my abusive father. His actions hurt me more than I can ever say, but I had pretty much given up on any type of "retribution" or "justice". I know I'll never get an apology or any sort of acknowledgement of what happened when I was a kid.
Fast forward many years. I've been in therapy for awhile now, I've built a community of amazing loving people (including my partner and best friend, I love them so much I can't say), I've separated myself from the cult he raised me in, and I'm doing better. Healing is anything but linear, but I'm leagues better than I was when I moved out.
I've found Gods that love their worshippers, don't ignore their cries for help, and show their support when it's needed the most. In recent months, I started closely worshipping Father Zeus. That comes with a layer of complexity, especially considering that most associate him with his mythology (the Gods are not their mythology, btw), but I've found great fulfillment and happiness in worshipping the King of Olympus.
Among his many titles and domains, Zeus is regarded as the God of Justice. This is why he's often depicted alongside the scales of justice, and the main focal point of this story.
I recently traveled to visit my grandma on my father's side, who I don't get to see often due to distance. She and I ended up talking in the dining room while she filled me in on what's been going on. I went no contact with my father ages ago, so she was letting me know what had been going on. Amidst everything, my Uncle(whom I love dearly) had a stroke, his third one I believe? Anyways, he was admitted to hospice in my father's hometown, so of course my father took it upon himself to take care of my uncle as much as he could. Here's where the karma comes in.
I find out from my grandma that not only is my father taking care of his older brother, he is now suffering verbal and emotional abuse from him. The stroke caused significant damage to my uncle, causing him to become more verbally aggressive. It's progressed to the point where family members have started telling him many of the things people told me about my father.
"Just leave him be, you can't change him!"
"You shouldn't take this abuse!"
"It's only hurting you the longer you stay!"
Now.
No one. Absolutely no one. Deserves to be abused.
But there is an inevitable sense of satisfaction that comes with seeing your abusers suffer the same exact treatment they subjected you to. And even if my father never connects the dots, never comes to me apologizing for what he put me through now that he fully understands how it feels...
I will know.
A part of me feels bad for gaining any satisfaction from all this, but a bigger part of me feels like I can finally lay it to rest. The bad guy has gotten his due punishment, and the protagonist can now continue on with their life. I can put the book down, satisfied that at the very least, I can work towards a happy ending and leave the demon to his demons. I don't have to carry that anymore. The scales of justice weighed the situation, and karma caught up to my father.
You'll never see this John. I know you won't. But your daughter can finally be allowed to rest. She is safe, in the arms of the man I am becoming. Her cries for help were answered, by the Gods who chose me. By the God of Wine, who opened the door and invited me into Olympus' loving arms. By Apollo, who wakes me with the sun, kissing my face with his light and drying my tears with his rays. By Aphrodite, who teaches me more about self love than you ever did. By Ares, who holds a picture of the child you put last on his altar, keeping that child protected. And lastly, by Father Zeus. The King of the Gods, who chose me as his worshipper, and who finally brought you to justice.
I feel like people needa learn to separate gods in terms of religion and worship from gods in the myths
Like you can't go "Why would you worship zeus? He sucks" cause the myths are that, MYTHS, in stories zeus may do shitty things cause he personifies the sky, the weather, and reflects how kings or people in power would act. They're not literal. Worshipping a deity and who they are in stories is very different.
On the flip side, I don't think it's disrespectful to go "yeah zeus is kind of an asshole" if im strictly speaking about the myths. I'm talking about Zeus as a character in stories. I'm not speaking about him in a spiritual context.
Dionysus wandered on his panther's back, searching a place to settle for a few hours before going back to claim his role ; the giant island with giant mountains, Naxos, and decided he'd rest on top of those hills while sipping his wine. So, he rode on the shore, when his eyes noticed a form laying on a rock. It was a woman, and Hypnos was flying over her. He stood off his panther, told it to find a place to rest, and he walked towards her. He sat on a rock nearby and observed the way her sepia hair lingered on her cheeks, the way her nose moved slightly while Morpheus was making his charms, and how her left arm laid on top of her head. His pupils dilated when he gazed upon her straight nose that, yet, showed a bump at the very top, he wanted to reach out, to feel her skin against his own, but she was asleep, and he didn't wish to disturb her, so he waited, more than he thought he would.
Hypnos suddenly flew away and the woman's eye opened slowly. Dionysus hid behind a tree, waiting to see her in action. She sat, her arms lifting her up. Her chest tightened when she realized she was alone. She stood up abruptly and ran to the shores, and cried "Theseus ! Theseus !" over and over again, before falling to her knees, and crying all the tears she had suppressed. The back of her palm went to her eyes and the palm of the other hid her weeping mouth. An hour later, when finally opened her eyes, she saw a strong hand holding out a handkerchief. She took it and blew her nose into it, but when she realized it was perfumed with vine, she looked up and saw the generous one's horns, that looked like her brother's.
"Asterion ? Is it you ? Are you here to mock me?" she asked, her eyes red.
"Me ? No. I am not even this Asterion you're talking about." the maiden looked down to his face, and indeed, he was no bull. She let out a relieved sigh, before sitting on her bottom, still holding the handkerchief.
"Then who are you, stranger ?"
"A simple one who met a gorgeous one," Dionysus answered calmly. "and you ?"
"I wanted a name." she gritted while he chuckled.
"Then you can call me Dionysus. And you ? How may I call you ?" he extended his hand, wanting desperately to feel her skin.
"Ariadne." she caught his hand into hers, and the god felt his heart flutter.
"And, who are those Asterion and, Theseus ?"
"Asterion was my brother, and I helped Theseus kill him…" Ariadne answered, her gaze locking on the sand.
"My, what a wicked one you are."
"Me ? Wicked ? Then you should see what he did to me. I helped him, I have betrayed my father and my kingdom for him, and he left me there, could you believe it ? He is all about 'oh, me is great hero.' or 'oh, me slayed the Minotaur.' while without me, he wouldn't even be breathing ! What an ungrateful prince."
"Indeed, indeed." he nodded, a small smile on his face which joined his closed his eyes, so he could enjoy more of her voice. "But why did you help him in the first place ?"
"Because I loved him." the god felt his chest tighten at the thought. "And I though he did too. But I was only a tool for him to use then leave like a dirty sandal when his quest was over ! I do not share the same worth as a sandal." She exclaimed, desperately.
"He's the only one who thinks this way my dear. I've only known you for a short time, but I can already tell men would fight wars for you."
"You're overestimating me, young man."
"Oh, I do not, in fact, I am probably underestimating you. Men and other kinds would visit the scary underworld for you."
Ariadne scoffed and blew her nose again.
"Well, the only man I've ever loved won't see it, so it's all worthless." she stood up, but Dionysus grabbed her hand softly, running his fingers through the back of her hand.
"Please, do not say that. Perhaps you can love once more." he suggested, his eyes as pained as Prometheus' liver.
"Who would be crazy enough to love me now ?"
"The god of madness perhaps ?" he answered, hoping she'd listen and connect the dots already.
"Hmm, as if a god would ever notice me."
"Oh please ! Titans would escape their prisons to have a single sight of you ! You are talking to the god of wine himself young lady, and I demand you stop saying such atrocities !" She stared at him, her eyes wide open, before excusing herself and cleaning her teary eyes.
"Is it true ? Prove it to me."
"I'd rather show you my capabilities, dear." he answered, knowing what would happen to her if she'd show what he truly looked like. So, he transformed into a lion. Ariadne stood up, her heart quickening, and caressed his soft fur. She finally understood and she stepped back, bowing her head a little
"Forgive my affront then." She then sat on the sand, burying her chin on her knees.
"I forgive you, and to be honest, I liked it." he sat next to her. A small silence settled before he explained : "You know, Theseus doesn't deserve your tears. He abandoned you."
"I know, I just feel bitter about it, I almost gave up my life for him and that's how he repays me."
"You must be mad." he stated, his smirk returning.
"No, really ? Of course I am !" she stood up. "I am not going to reiterate, but that man left ! Why ? Was I too worthless ? Or was I, on the contrary, to worthy to stay with him ? He promised to marry me and protect me ! I was too naive !" she ran through the shores, and inside the transparent water. "Oh, great gods, make him pay for this treason, make him suffer, him and all whom he cares about ! He wanted a grand and long apotheosis ? Fine ! It shall be grand by how awful he was and long by the way we'll remember his mistakes !" she yelled to whoever would listen.
Dionysus was, to say the least, mesmerized by her sudden outburst, and he felt his pulse quickening, he promised himself to grant her wishes. He promised himself that one day, she'd be his.
"He really disappointed you, didn't he?" he asked, while his eyes softened.
"Yes. But enough of him, if the gods hold the power they claim to possess, then his fate is already settled. Now, you, Dionysus, is that right ?"
"Indeed. I am the brand new god at your services." he bowed, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles.
"This is why your name wasn't familiar to me."
"Oh, it will. You see, I'm on a travel to make my name known to the populations, and while on my rest, I found you, and I wondered if you'd agree to come with me."
"I mean, I am a fugitive, a traitor and abandoned, I guess I have nothing else to do. I agree to come, if you promise to protect me."
"I promise, dear Ariadne."
"But tell me, young god," she started as she walked around him "Why did you suddenly felt pity towards me ?"
"Well, you caught my eye, by your beauty and your brain. To say the least, I am truly mesmerized." he explained, while observing the way her eyes squinted in confusion. "But you just got your heart torn apart, I have to let it heal if I want it to grow."
"Right."
"When you want to become mine, I'll be there, and I'll say yes." he promised.
NB : This was the first part of a short story surrounding them, and it will be a part of a collection about forgotten love stories of greek mythology, so if you could give me constructive criticism, it would be lovely :). Anyway, thanks for reading and have the best dayS ever 🤗
So, I was recently chatting with a fellow witch; one who worships Loki. This is absolutely no hate towards them, to be clear, but it aids in making my point.
During the course of the conversation, we got on the topic of deity worship, and when I tell you.
The look they gave me when I said I worship Zeus.
It was a look somewhere between shock and disgust, and it made me feel awful. Like ok, I get it. Hahaha, Zeus is a ManWhore, ect. But can we stop cherry picking with the Gods???
Like, yes Zeus has a lot of questionable stories. But so does Loki. So does Dionysus. So does every other God. Even the Abrahamic God (even if Christians will vehemently deny it). Every single deity is flawed in some way. I'm not agreeing with or justifying any of his actions, but if people could kindly stop treating worshipping Zeus as if it's a sin or a bad thing, that'd be wonderful.
Nearly every deity is problematic in some way. The Abrahamic God encouraged his people to commit genocide(which they're still doing today, smh). Most Greek deities have at least a few sexual assault related stories. If you worship any God, I guarantee you that there is some bad thing they've done. That's the point. They are flawed creation, like humanity. The difference between them and the christian God(and the reason Greek deities appealed to me in particular) is that they don't claim to be perfect. They don't pretend to be all wise or above the knowledge of men to the point where they do shitty things and say "oh well you're not meant to understand!"
Back to Zeus. Yes, he has a lot of sus stories. Yes, he isn't perfect. He was created to reflect society's view of their kings at the time. Not to mention, many of the stories were made by leaders of different nations, to cover up infidelity or give them popularity points. Think about it, in the ancient world a nation ruled by a child supposedly fathered by the King of the Gods would be far less likely to be attacked, at the risk of incurring Zeus' wrath. Alexander the Great was claimed to be Zeus' son, among others.
There are so many things that make Zeus worth worshipping. He is the God of storms, weather, lightning. I think of him every time it rains, and greet him when I hear a rumble of thunder. He is the God of justice, and I remember to leave things in his hands. When I am wronged or disrespected, I trust that justice will prevail. He is the God of hospitality; he encourages me to be welcoming and feel like home even when out and about. He is the protector of the home, and makes me feel safe as someone who lives alone.
He is the parent of nearly all of the other deities I worship, and it is because of him that I feel the warmth of Apollo, the protection of Ares, and the reason I feel the boundless love from Dionysus. I have the utmost love and respect for his dear queen Hera; although I don't worship her directly I still keep her in my mind.
Ever since I began worshipping Zeus, I have felt his love and care. That makes it all the more saddening when people look at you like a witch in Salem when you say you worship him. Imagine your deities, the ones you have a close connection to and care deeply about, and imagine people only ever focusing on the bad. Imagine people hating you bc you worship that deity, or looking down on you bc of it. It sucks, it shouldn't happen, and I'm frankly getting sick of it.
All I'm asking is that people have a little respect for the literal King of the Gods. And, I dunno, do some research before you go spewing hate.
