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@witchyselfdestructivesiren
Satosugu songs
Closer kings of leon
Work song hozier
Hunger Ross copperman
Take on the world you Me at six
Iike I can sam smith
Oceans seafret
Atlantis seafret
Here without you three doors down
Angel of small death and the codeine scene hozier
Bedroom hymns Florence + the machine
AHHGGGHHHHH brothers:)
“and who knows me better than you?” said it with her whole chest after 17 years being separated from him
trojan prince challenges GINGER to duel?! (it went WRONG?!) (Aphrodite saved him?!)
Is it any surprise I like me some Greek Mythology?
I hate the modern depictions of Helen/Paris/Menelaus.
Menelaus was a good man, Helen was manipulated by Aphrodite and Paris is…Paris. Fuck that guy. Not literally, he doesn’t deserve it.
The Iliad be like:
Paris: Any advice for your dear husband as he goes out to duel?
Helen turns to Paris. She is wearing a ‘Team Menelaus’ hat, a ‘I love my real husband shirt’ and her right hand is covered by a ‘Menelaus #1’ giant, foam hand.
Helen: Die. Preferably, screaming.
Paris watches Helen stand atop the walls. She raises her shirt, flashing her boobs in Menelaus’ direction. On them is written ‘Kick His Ass, Baby’.
The entire Greek army stares. Except Odysseus. Menelaus gives them the death glare. The entire Greek army awkwardly looks away. Except Odysseus.
I also love the idea of Odysseus and Menelaus being Ancient Greek Wifeguys.
Odysseus walks into Menelaus’ tent. Menelaus looks up hopefully.
Menelaus: *hopefully* Wife?
Odysseus: *shaking his head* Not wife.
Menelaus: *sadly* Miss wife.
Odysseus: *sadly* Miss wife too.
Several hours and jugs of wine later…
Agamemnon steps into the tent.
Odysseus and Menelaus: *drunk and crying hysterically* Want wife!!!
Agamemnon backs out of the tent.
I also, also feel like Helen may harbor some resentment towards Aphrodite.
Aphrodite appears in front of the Palace in Sparta.
Aphrodite: *smiling happily* Hey, gurl!
Helen immediately runs up to her and decks the divine being in the face. Aphrodite goes down like a sack of bricks. Helen returns inside. Menelaus looks between the unconscious Goddess and the threshold of his home. After a moment, he follows his wife inside and closes the door. Aphrodite lays there for several hours.
trick or treat (Ik I'm super late but I've been in the hospital ok let me enjoy my late Halloween)
Treat! Old art because hehe
Hope you're doing well, anon!!
GAHHHHHHHHHH THEY MAKE ME ILL SCREAMING AND CRYING AND PULLING OUT ALL MY HAIR THEM THEM THEMMMMMM
More..
More meneody..
Please..
crumbs
Agamemnon: I truly hate it here.
Odysseus: Now replace “it” with “women”. Not so funny now, is it?
Achilles: Now replace “it” with “women”. Not so funny now, is women?
Diomedes: Now replace “funny” with “it”. Not so it now, is women?
Menelaus: I’m having a fucking stroke.
Patroclus: Now replace “stroke” with “baby”. Congratulations!
It is a little hilarious to me how Hector has to leave his post, get past the gates and almost drag Paris back to battle (he was too busy in bed with his wife, you see) while, on the other side, Agamemnon has to literally hold Menelaus back and tell him to get a fucking grip because he had simply decided that, since his men were such little bitches, he'd fight Hector himself then (and probably die). Just. Two older brothers having to deal with their inconsequential, dramatic little brothers but in different fonts.
Ladies and Gentlemen I give you dumpass Menelaus from Euripides!
Hecuba: Don't let her in the same boat as you! Menelaus: Why's that? Does she weight more than before?
(Translation by me)
Seriously I bet everyone in the audience would be like:
Hahaha Hecuba basically warns Menelaus not to put Helen in the same boat he would travel in, so that his intentions wouldn't be misunderstood or that his mind would be swayed by Helen's beauty and that dumpass idiot made either the stupidest question in humanity or the most inappropriate timing joke ever or possibly a combination of both!
Like...DUDE!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Euripides my dude your beef with this ginger is unparalleled! Hahaha I think people had their attention on Odysseus again when they should be having it on this guy! Hahahahahaha
Menelaus: Hermione, wipe your feet.
Odysseus: Telemachus, are you all right?
Nestor: Pisistratus, for the last time-
Agamemnon: Orestes!
Achilles: Phyrrus, calm down.
Ajax the Greater: Where is Eurysakes?
Diomedes:
Diomedes: Parenting must be wild.
Far far too much Agamemnon is cruel and greedy and only wanted to sack Troy for riches and not nearly enough Agamemnon’s childhood showed him the fate that lay in store for one who is in power if they do not respond with shows of force to threats, with the weight of defending his name and the last of his family, a man whose brother’s wife, his sister in law, was taken from him. Far too much Menelaus saw Helen as a prize to be won back and not nearly enough Menelaus was a man in love, who lost a wife who represented to him not only the status and stability that a young boy ousted from his home would have dreamed of, but a time of peace and love, and the loss of a genuinely beloved wife
I think they’re silly
Ref image below cut
LIBERALS are turning the iliad WOKE ‼️‼️🤬🤬
BIomedes
TRANSdysseus
Men-LIKER-enaus
Achilles
AGAYmmenon
