Being Sick and Sweet

My name is Lydia 26 | she/her | bisexual Diagnosed POTS, PTSD, PCOS Main blog: @the-quiet-blogger Media blog: @wherecreditisdo-ordie

[withloveandsalt]

Introduction!

Hello!!

I'm Lydia (she/her) and here's a few things to know!! 🐝

I started this blog a few months after I got diagnosed with POTS (postural orthastatic tachycardia syndrome). It is the latest in my line of diagnoses and triggers. I also have PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) from previous abusive relationships, and PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome).

Those aren't the only things about me, and if you want to follow my main blog for the chaos & nerdiness, you can follow me here. But this blog is for chronic illness and I'll try and keep it that way!! 🧂☀️

As of today (4/20/25), I have been sent to the ER about four times. Each time was because I had passed out and lost consciousness for over five minutes. One of the scariest was when I was getting my haircut, I had to step away. I ended up throwing up and passing out in the bathroom and the door had to be broken down for me to be put into an ambulance. Recently, I've gotten my gall bladder removed due to some gall stones they've found in my most previous ER visit.

My friends are struggling with this adjustment to me losing my independence and the trauma of seeing me in so much pain. Having to take my unconscious body and wondering each time if we're going to have to go to the hospital again. Its hard on everyone. One thing I keep repeating "This Is everyone's first rodeo,"

At times, I feel trapped in my own mind and in my own body. So, I'm starting the journey of self discovery. Of trying to figure out who the fuck I am with this illness, and how to start living with it instead of it dragging me along. I'm not even close to figuring out what this will even look like, but I am trying anyway.

I have history of SH and thoughts of ending my life. I've been hospitalized before and after attempts. Both rear their ugly heads during particularly stressful medical episodes. Especially since the hospital that I had gone to on my last attempt ends up being the most consistent hospital I end up in when I have an episode. There's a lot of little triggers and a whole new trauma that comes with being chronically ill, but I have promised myself to never fall that deep in the depression hole every again.

Some things and resources I've been using:

Headway - an app for self help book summaries 🦋

Visible - an app & band to help pace myself & use spoons properly 🥄

Tachymon - watch app to let me know about my crazy heart rate 🫀

My POTS Amazon Wish List

[bandagedthoughtsblog]

[scramratz]

I think people would be less suicidal if they were allowed to talk about being suicidal without risk of being sent to the Torture Dungeon

[fibro-memes]

[homunculus-argument]

Anyone else remember having their parents try to teach you Emotional Regulation Skills way too early and only understanding in hindsight how fucking nuts it is to try to do what they were doing to a kid. Like having your mom tell you "you're the only one who's in charge of your feelings :) nobody can MAKE you feel bad unless you let them :)" but at the same time you'd get scolded for making someone else feel bad by being rude or acting out, so in practice you're both in charge of your own feelings but also everyone else's feelings, and that didn't feel fair, but you had no idea how to put that into words because you're five.

[titsay]

[9fruit]

we need to bring back the simple art of just “come to my house and we hang out without an activity or pretense or meal” my friend hung out on my couch for seven hours today we just gabbed… no specific plans no activities involved. likeee let’s just hang out on my couch forever and ever amen

[irondive]

[withloveandsalt]

Being sick like this brings its own kind of loneliness that’s hard to explain. I’m out of place no matter where I go, it even feels like I’m out of place in my own body

It is just nice to hear when people check up on ME and not my illness

[fibro-memes]

[thelatestkate]

[paper-wounds]

[lilnasxvevo]

the spirit is willing but the flesh is chronically ill

[titsay]

[vollzeitherz-deactivated2026012]

as you get older, you start realizing that you are not always right and there’s a lot of things you could have handled better and many situations where you could have been kinder and all you can really do is forgive yourself and let your mistakes make you a better person.

[anctherdayofsun]

taylor swift - red - state of grace 💔

instagram

[withloveandsalt]

Found myself dancing in my kitchen to pop music in my pajamas while baking a cake

Middle school “not like the other girls” depressed ED me would have had a fit fr if she could see me now