I was looking up Christmas legends and laughing my butt off earlier b/c almost all illustrations of Ol’ Nick and the Krampus I found online make them look like a pair of queerplatonic old men who live across the street
case in point:
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@withlovefromjl
I was looking up Christmas legends and laughing my butt off earlier b/c almost all illustrations of Ol’ Nick and the Krampus I found online make them look like a pair of queerplatonic old men who live across the street
case in point:
“Sing for the Moment”-- Eminem
“These ideas are nightmares to white parents Whose worst fear is a child with dyed hair and who likes earrings Like whatever they say has no bearing, it's so scary in a house that allows no swearing To see him walking around with his headphones blaring Alone in his own zone, cold and he don't care He's a problem child What bothers him all comes out, when he talks about His fuckin' dad walkin' out 'Cause he just hates him so bad that he blocks him out If he ever saw him again he'd probably knock him out His thoughts are whacked, he's mad so he's talkin' back Talkin' black, brainwashed from rock and rap He sags his pants, do-rags and a stocking cap His step-father hit him, so he socked him back, and broke his nose His house is a broken home, there's no control, he just let's his emotions go.”
“Father”-- The Front Bottoms
“I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with a baseball bat And he is screaming and crying for help And maybe halfway through it has more to do with me killing him Then it ever did protecting myself And I believe that yeah, dad, maybe no one is perfect But I believe that you are pushing your luck It just sucks it played out like this A terrible movie and you can tell none of the actors even give a fuck But you look good tonight girlfriend, Can I sleep in your bed And when I crawl out in the morning, Can I stay inside your head 'Cause you were high school And I was just more like real life And you were okay, okay as a girlfriend But I was just more like his wife I'll do the pushups I'll wear the makeup I'll do whatever he wants all night 'Cause you were okay, okay as a girlfriend But I was just more like real life.”
154preciousteacups:
“Maybe Mathias or Philadelphia?” she muttered to herself as she walked, “Or even Buttermilk? She doesn’t spook so easily…”
Emma scratched her cheek and stopped on the side of the stable, “Though one of my sturdier males would probably handle him better…”
JL let her chat it out with herself. Whatever. A horse that wouldn’t spook at his scent would be the best. Couldn’t have them hurt because of him. Emma would kick him out. Call Dr. Strange to keep him gone.
Pff.
He’d let ‘em. Wasn’t every day the lady who saved him from the big bad saw him. He was always awkward around her.
Saying ‘thank you for getting me out of there’ was hard. Specially cause he hadn’t wanted to go.
Awkward. Y’know?
Have you ever been so melancholy, that you wanted to fit in the palm of your beloved’s hand? And lie there, for fortnights, or decades, or the length of time between stars? In complete silence?
Sarah Ruhl, from “Melancholy Play,” The Clean House and Other Plays (Theatre Communications Group, 2006)
Here, have even more Calmage Wolfatee antics.
154preciousteacups:
“You have to be gentle with them, mind you. Don’t do anything to spook my horses or I’ll have the Avengers on you faster than you can cackle.”
Her voice was serious. She once dropped kick Logan off a horse for spooking one of the foals. Maybe. There were rumors.
“Hey, hey!” JL skidded to a stop. “I don’t fuck...with...animals. Just people. Not been ‘round them a lot. But I wanna learn.” Animals were beings that existed to him. Not really more than that. Sucked to hurt them. Emma really liked them and that was cool.
“’ll listen. Promise.”
“I’ve still got some chores to do… but I guess… do you wanna go for a ride or something?”
Best to keep the potential threat under control until reinforcements showed up.
JL rolled around on the grass for a while, like a kid who didn’t want to do chores himself. Boring~
“I don’t know how to riiiiide. Could you teach me?” Raising his head, he smiled winningly at her.
“Well… yeah, I suppose so. I’ve taught a good number of children to ride.”
She jerked her head towards the stable as a ‘follow me’ and started walking herself. It might be fun for a little while.
“Follow, follow.” JL hopped up, running a little to catch up with her. Grass got a little shredded, but it grew back. Earth hair. “Yeah! Horse riding!” he whooped, tail wagging behind him.
Comic and portrait commissions for kaijutegu. I hope you like them!
friend spaghetti
“Gee, Officer Krupke” -- West Side Story (Music by Leonard Bernstein, lyrics by Stephen Sondheim)
“Dear kindly Judge, your Honor, My parents treat me rough. With all their marijuana, They won't give me a puff. They didn't wanna have me, But somehow I was had. Leapin' lizards! That's why I'm so bad!”
“WOLF PACK”
by
YURI SHWEDOFF
stammsternenstaub
withlovefromjl:
154preciousteacups:
“I’ve still got some chores to do… but I guess… do you wanna go for a ride or something?”
Best to keep the potential threat under control until reinforcements showed up.
JL rolled around on the grass for a while, like a kid who didn’t want to do chores himself. Boring~
“I don’t know how to riiiiide. Could you teach me?” Raising his head, he smiled winningly at her.
(for the angry meme) "I think I swallowed a ghost."
“A ghost?” Snow repeated, more confused than angry. “Are you sure you don’t just have gas from all that junk food you ate?”
withlovefromjl:
Structure must be a four letter word to these people. What did they do every day besides bitch that they used to be something? Or was he just thinking of Charming again? There records must be sloppy, even with the flying monkey.
Bucky didn’t know much about family. Sure, he was learning about real ones. Grandparents were foreign to him. People who just give him things or listen without it being a contract were few and far in-between. The kids seemed to like North, so. Not his business. Just like he wouldn’t tell about Ghost. Snow was the person in his corner here. He wasn’t going to blab her secrets to all of Fabletown.
“I uh….” Bucky grinned, “But we are outside! This doesn’t even make sense!” Walking would be less boring than sitting inside. Hopefully he recovered quick enough so she didn’t notice his reaction to books. Reading…Well, he couldn’t. Learned to recognize some words but he never stuck with it long enough to have the skill stick with him. “Uh huh. So you were running Fabletown for like two hundred years? Shit, lady, why aren’t you the Mayor? You got the time put in and everyone knows who you are. Make it official!”
Fine, Jesus. They wouldn’t shove her down the Well of Doom or exile her or keep her injured because she couldn’t die. Functional immortality still had drawbacks. Loops to dive in. “Your character development takes forever,” he complained. “Guess it’s better late than never.” People– humans, Fables, mutants, supernaturals– wanted things. Even if it meant stepping on whoever helped them to get it. Backstabbing was almost a universal truth. “It’ll be a tough idea to chew on.” He cackled, picturing their rage. “Having to actually think of something new.” Hands on his hips, he looked up at Snow, “What all do ya need other than memory alterations and glamours and transformation spells that don’t fuck you up?”
Sometimes, they played with pointy swords and worried the Mundy might get wise to the fact they were hiding in plain sight. But it was mostly bitching about the ‘used to be somebody’ thing.
Perhaps that was why Snow had been so drawn to him in the beginning; a child who was (she thought at the time) an orphaned Fable, come over from the Homelands all alone, and seeing as Bucky had done little, if anything, to convince her otherwise, she continued to believe it. Of course she didn’t know what he truly was until it was too late. By then? Well, she’d taken a shine to the guy, as rough and rude as he could be. Plus the cubs adored ‘Uncle Bucky’ to no end. She could make an exception. One exception. So long as it was always kept secret.
“I meant playing outside, not trying to murder my ex husband with your demon hoodoo.” Snow reached out, brushing her hand over Bucky’s hair to mess it up. Yes, she minded the little horns on his head. Perhaps she was feeling overly motherly considering she’d just sent her zephyr son away. If she knew he coldn’t read, she might take the time to teach him. The cubs were learning now, it would be simple to educate him as well. “I don’t want to be mayor, and besides up until a bit ago, I never thought anyone would want Cole gone.” By that time she was already pregnant, on contemplating retirement. The fact she’d had seven, and not just one baby, only one of which looked human, sealed her fate even before Charming won the election.
“Thanks.” Was that even a compliment? She wasn’t sure. “We’re really old, Bucky. I figured you picked up on that by now.” They need some competition.” Snow smiled at him. “They’ve not had anything real competition wise to worry about in a while. And you might be able to win some points with Charming if you play your cards right. I hear he promised a bunch of glamours he can’t deliver as part of his mayoral campaign.” Maybe Bucky would be able to use that demonling magic to help.
Why swords? Guns were better. But then again, swords could really leave some nasty wounds. But so could guns. Which were better?
It was easier to let somebody fill in the gaps of a story. If they assumed Bucky was something else, he didn’t bother in correcting them. No harm, no foul. He’d do what he planned to do and then leave. Citizens of that world wouldn’t even know. But he hadn’t gotten attached to anyone like he had Snow on his travels. She was like a mom. A good mom who took none of his bullshit. He needed people like that. The cubs were crazy little kids. It was nice seeing what a real childhood was; Hell, he could even join in. Maybe he’d sneak in during the reading time and try to catch up.
“Scuse me! Hoodoo is not what I do. That’s another thing,” Bucky laughed, shaking out the mess. Hair ruffles were nice. She even didn’t mess with the horns! Good job. Whatever her reason, he wasn’t going to ruin this moment. “Guess things got sticky.” Charming would stay because he was too lazy to find and get someone better up there.
It was an insult that warped its way around into a compliment. He thought. “Yeah, but it’s such a long time,” he whined, hands tossed in the air. “Aight.” Rubbing his hands together like a super-villain with a plan, “Not doing it for Charming. First!” he drawled, pacing back and forth, “Pull a list of who supported him during the election because glamours. Two! Talk to these Fables. Three! Glamour something of theirs so they can change into a human form suiting them. And that’s removable by their will only. Loopholes ironed out.” He cracked his knuckles.
Batman… I choose YOU!
i totally remember this, lol
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Parker was a good liar.
On occasion.
“Fun? Like what? I’m guessing my sort of fun is probably a bit different than yours.”
When he wasn’t being a clown.
“Weeeeelllllll. Sometimes, I can do right by other people’s ideas of fun. Not turn it up to a thou.” He smiled innocently.
“Not do evil little demon things like causing plagues and natural disasters?”
“I don’t do that kind of thing. I’m more of a car wreck type of guy.”
“Good thing I live on a farm, then. And I don’t drive.”
“Ughhh.” JL flopped in the grass. “Ok. Nothing. We’ll do what you wanna do~”