Stephanie.

earl grey, stroopwafels, and sunsets.

[withoutaffectation]

To rewrite everything

[withoutaffectation]

글로 감정을 해소하기

그것은 목표다

[withoutaffectation]

Omg did not expect this to come out of quartz. This is emotional blackmail.

My family has to live through disabilities and sickness and pay for it. I do love my family and had we have the money of course we would love to enjoy life together. I cannot imagine enjoying family life with any of the 4 of us missing.

But going through this, I know and understand what it takes to be a parent of a possibly disabled child in future. So I will not have kids unless I’m rich.

This is a choice many people make, even if they don’t consider disabilities. Just the amount of money it takes to raise a child. Is that a blasphemy to the possible lives of their sperm and eggs?

Okay fine, you may say it is not an equal comparison because an embryo is more of a life than a sperm and an egg. -.- But, if a couple wants a child and they decide they don’t want to run the risk of the child being even mildly disabled, why should it be a problem? Most people can’t support a disabled family member. Whether because of a lack of time or resources. Not with capitalism milking everything out of the working class.

You may say, well then they shouldn’t have kids in the first place. But I’d argue that our birth rate is too low for your idealism. Take what you can get, or our economy will implode from the shrinking population. Parents of kids are doing our society a favour. So just shut your trap.

[withoutaffectation]

I read somewhere that it is better not to have big reactions around children. If they have done wrong, it’s not good to shock them with your anger or frustration. If they do well, it’s not good to over praise them as well.

The social media world feeds on reactions. Variety shows cannot survive without dramatic reactions. But perhaps we are so used to reacting and judging loudly that we become over sensitive and insecure people. Dependent and scared of the reactions of people at the same time. Perhaps being calm and factual gives security. If it’s wrong you can do better next time. If it’s good, you don’t feel the need to be showered with praises.

I also read that it’s good to let kids be bored. Being bored gives you space to be creative rather than passively taking in information.

Perhaps the world need not be a dramatic or exciting place.

[withoutaffectation]

Maybe it's because I grew up in a church that I'm especially sensitive of emerging rhetorics. Urgh. In church the rhetoric was distinctly different from the outside world. So much so that it felt like a different language. It was especially stark when I started having majority friends who were not Christian and I had to consciously change the expressions I used. It was then I realised a lot of the verses and expressions we use out of context for the meaning as defined by the pastor or the community, did a huge disservice to the actual context it was used in. Urgh I don't fancy people using the rhetoric of another culture with a different history; planting it on ours as if it is comparable. Does not do justice to both sides imo. It's so disappointing that we are trapped by the language we grew up with. When the popular vocabulary and expressions of our era are decided by the bigger English speaking countries rather than rooted in our culture and history. As a result, our ideas are framed by those expressions; which is just awful. I'm not a good writer and I wish I could wield language the way good writers can. But I do hope a good writer emerges from our era with the ability to write about events in our city, detailing and highlighting ideas rooted in our culture.

[withoutaffectation]

"House to black" The few moments before the start of the show.... I don't know what it was: The excitement, the culmination of months of an actor's hard work, or simply the vulnerability in the inky black darkness that engulfs the space.... what ever it was... in an instant it transported me back into my 17 year old self, filled with anxiety. Made me realize how long it has been since I've had to deal with panic attacks.

[thenordroom]

Apartment in Kiev | photos by Andrey Avdeenko

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[withoutaffectation]

China banned K-Dramas? Are you serious??? That's possible? How is there no uproar. Where are my fellow K-Drama addicts at?

[withoutaffectation]

[withoutaffectation]

Along the morning commute, I read about filter bubbles and how it gives rise to fragmented realities and fake news. I was like "oh that's interesting, sounds kinda true" but I didn't think much about it until I read this. Half-way through the article, I wanted to say, woah, wait, hold up, fake news? not fact-checking? That is probably only true for the uncles and aunties who reblog, retweet, resend chain messages with iffy sources or without any source. My generation grew up with Google, we google before we do all that. But the writer quickly said, "For instance, I badly want to believe that the Trump administration is floundering and is on the brink of collapse all but a month into its tenure. And without asking, Facebook dutifully shows me articles validating this desire every single day. Yet, when I force myself to visit conservative websites, to look at polling data, to dig into primary sources and look at historical analogs, I see that this probably isn’t true. That we’re not in a clown car careening off a cliff. And if we are, Trump probably isn’t the one driving it, he’s just the hood ornament." Some people say that in 2016 there was a group that was afraid to be labeled. So they only gave their voice in the polling booths. But I couldn't quite picture soft-spoken trump/brexit supporters. I mean how can it be, that the majority of them were afraid? So... maybe they were just filtered out of our Facebook feeds. Or... we simply chose not to click on those headlines, period.

[withoutaffectation]

Trying one last time to go on a diet and lose weight. Remembered why I decided to swear off of them. Because it's miserable and depressing. At least my diet now isn't completely depressing. I'm not starving myself and I set a time limit of 6 months so I at least have an end point to look forward to. I feel like a pregnant mother honestly. Somehow no matter what I do, everyone has opinions about what I should do to lose weight. How I must have gained weight from eating too much and not exercising. How I'm lazy enough to have gotten this fat. I tell myself 'at least they're frank about it' At least I don't have to live under the guise and silence of fat as a taboo word in other countries. But it irks me to no end. Hence I talk quite matter of factly about being fat. About my tummy rolls and my over sized boobs and the jiggle in my arm fats. But somehow that equates me to putting myself down. I do agree that realistically everyone likes pretty people and I should 'do things when I'm young'. So I'd like to try...? Not only this but to get a tougher and better paying job. But at the expense of what...?

[withoutaffectation]

I miss lounging in the library, walking random streets for hours on end and just the general feeling of having all the time in the world.

[withoutaffectation]

We've seen what a new generation can do to change the collective conscious. I hope the pre 80s china gets weeded out sooner than we think.

[myunproductiveparadise]

me every weekend

[withoutaffectation]

새벽 1시38분: 잠이 안 오네

[exploregif-blog]

[gin-and-disappointment]

Someday I will not reblog this. Today is not that day.

[hello-reylux-deactivated2019051]

Episode VIII Space Bear looks great

[withoutaffectation]

At this point we're just struggling to survive. There's so much work that we don't need to worry about targets because we will more than hit them. But you know what. Somehow everyone is more palatable in this state. When no one has time to plot and conquer. To compete and win insignificant awards. We even bask in our shared misery sometimes.