withz

oh fuck

[withz]

I never know what to choose on those "title" part of any form (you know the typical "miss or mr?" question), so I opted to answer "lord" every time.

Which is pretty funny to me (that's because I'm stupid), but one day I ordered something online, forgot about it, and came home days later to my flatmate asking "who the fuck is lord [my surname]?"

I didn't know how to answer without showing how dumb I really am so I just waited for them to go away and run with my precious package to the safety of my room.

[withz]

Out of all the places I would've expected to find a group for the furry community

A website to offset your carbon footprint wasn't one of them....

[withz]

Has anyone seen my will to live??? I lost it and I need it for tomorrow :(

[withz]

Pros of dating me: I'll make you mediocre tasting pancakes.

Cons of dating me: me.

Think about it babe.

[withz]

I had a dream today that I was in a loving relationship with my soulmate and when I woke up I was genuinely sad because it wasn't real and started crying.

What's life anymore?

[withz]

I think my animated model is going through some hard times

[withz]

I've just decided that I'm an artist now.

Here's my first masterpiece

[withz]

I think this is the part where you give me all you own.

Sorry I don't make the rules.

[withz]

I've just decided that I'm an artist now.

Here's my first masterpiece

[withz]

For legal reasons I've decided to cease my existence.

[withz]

I never understood why people act different in front of their crush, like, that's false advertisement.

You either like me for the absolute bastard I am or perish.

I guess that explains why I'm single

[withz]

"for 10 to 12 people" reads the package of the truffle.

"for one sad me" I said, knowing damn well I will regret it.

[withz]

how the fuck am I supposed to know if someone is flirting with me when I look like this and I'm this stupid.

[withz]

I don't believe in zodiac signs, whoever, I'm an asshole, so every time someone asks my zodiac sign I say a different one and watch them pretend it makes sense.

So far I've been a Gemini, Taurus, Capricorn and Aquarius.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[withz]

I came to this forbidden website looking for validation from strangers and all I'm getting is sad.

d i s r e s p e c t f u l.

[withz]

I was born in this world to say stupid shit and if you don't like it then go ahead and find a different dimension.

[withz]

So basically I'm a lonely idiot with access to the internet

— me, talking to myself in the mirror

[withz]

currently drinking apple juice from a glass of wine at 2:40 a.m.