This Is Not A Relatable Blog

My name is Daniel and I don't know what I'm doing. Socialist, Jewish, he/they, ciggy butt brain

[airframeextender]

doing some important research 

[sourcefieldmix-deactivated20161]

*tent reznor voice* i want to hug you like an animal

[dongstomper-deactivated20161230]

i want to feel you from the outside

[sourcefieldmix-deactivated20161]

my whole existence is fun

[recycledoj]

[liber-legis]

“Why Does No One Care About My Sad Dick?” - Chuck Palahniuk

[liber-legis]

“Why Do All These Mysterious and Magical Women Love My Sad Dick?” - Haruki Murakami

[liber-legis]

“My Sad Dick is Lost in This Maze Beyond Space and Time” - Mark Z. Danielewski

[wittgensteinsmister]

me in a a god awful Austin Powers impression at insanely high decibels nearly to the point of screaming: life makes me depressed baby!!!

my therapist: I know this is some sort of coping mechanism but I am begging you to give me information in virtually any other way

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

Big Tasty

[gltzgghln]

@wires-walter-the-automaton W HY DO I IMAGINE ACE MAKIGN THIS WHILE DRUNk

[classic-rock-n-rolls-kid-deacti]

Because this is definitely something he would do! He would probably make it for Peter. Also, is that cheese?

[gltzgghln]

i first thought it was butter fsr lmao ace would be on his knees begging peter to eat it, crying and all but peter keeps denying then gene comes in to save peter’s life by agreeing to eat it for him (because there’s no doubt in mind he wouldn’t) and luckily ace couldn’t hear them discussing the plan over his own sobbing ace then looks up and notices it gone, peter then shyly exclaiming “yeah it… actually was really good, i’m sorry ace” and ace is sO HAPPY he gets up to hug peter and peter hugs back, feeling bad for lying to his sweet spaceman but it was kind of worth it at least gene got his midnight snack bc it’s literally 2 in the morning

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

hey what the fuck are you talking about

[meltedbartsimpson]

oh my god they’re talking about the band Kiss

[cremia-deactivated20210626]

shut the fuck up

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

THEYRE TALKING ABOUT FUCKING KISS?

[mosticonicposts]

certified iconic post

[30-minute-memes]

[5afteynotguaranteed]

[leiasayshi]

So I was going through a drawer of stuff from when I was little and I found this…

[osoriver]

[medichamcham]

i really enjoy looking through reddit threads related to death metal because the replies sound like a groupchat for cartoon villains

[sexhaver]

one of my brother’s cousins is 17 and running this weed instagram where he invents weed slang that’s outlandish even by california standards and the house has slowly stopped speaking english as we imitate it

[sexhaver]

im losing my fucking mind

[sliversoakley4]

this used to be the oldest bar in texas until they built an older one

[technofeudalism]

[technofeudalism]

[mouth-less]

[vitabreva]

[mousegirlheart]

What are you gonna do with this big hammer? Gonna hit me? Better make it count. Better make it hurt. Better kill me in one shot.

[feralratbitesu]

how

[butch-witches-deactivated202412]

how

well anon i am glad you asked me. what happened here is the mouse was able to shatter the hammer due to the innate power of its pure heart. no amount of hardening, heat treating, or tempering can create a steel so hard as it will not shatter when it strikes at one truly pure such as this.

[crimsonsapphic-deactivated20240]

Does this mean if I kill my enemies with hammers it's really their fault for not being pure of heart enough?? Fascinating. I shall keep this in mind for later

[butch-witches-deactivated202412]

yes anon, that is exactly what that means. but please note: i am acting as your legal counsel as i tell you this

[cottoncandylesbo]

sometimes your sex drive is nonexistent. but you must keep jacking off, if only for the love of the game.

[girlballs-archive]

gotta keep practicing during the off-season

[cottoncandylesbo]

get me in there coach im limp and ready to cry

[onlinebeast]

Taking the red hats off of half a dozen gnomes and loading them carefully, tearfully, into a revolver.

[onlinebeast]

Please could you gnomes just hold the fuck still- wait

Where’s the sixth one

[snowing-in-cyberspace]

runs away as fast as fuckign possible coughing and and hacking and wheezing and crying

[hotvampireadjacent]

My coasters finally got here

[chromegnomes]

no Hamlet adaptation can be truly good if the protagonist isn't writing needlessly cryptic unsexy poetry at the Ophelia analogue

[chromegnomes]

The Lion King is too cowardly to make Simba an irony poisoned English major

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

[nightvision222242]

That shade of deep red brown is giving Rothko seagram murals. Love this meme beautiful work.