World of Darkness Memes, Meta, & Homebrew

Sideblog of TeaAndSpite and AllHailSchadenfreude

[wodbrew]

A brief guide to the tags, and their origins

General: homebrew, campaign concept, character concept, character art, npc ideas, wod art

VtM clan drama: just another night at the vampire club, masquerade bending for fun and profit, StOP bReAKiNg tHE mASkerADe, how to give a ventrue anxiety, nos vs toreadors

Tremere: everyone vs the tremere, trememes

Gangrel: clan werewolf wannabe

Toreador: stan toreador

Tzimisce: oh no its the tzimisce

Giovanni: no one likes the giovanni

Malkavian: fishmalk (or the malknet is a discord server for madness network specific posts)

Assamite: assamite buttbuttinations

Ventrue: ventrue capitalists, welcome to clan ventrue here’s your investment portfolio

Hunter: the hunter competence spectrum, advanced vampire hunting techniques

Werewolf: owod what’s this, dammit moon moon

Mage: a wizard did it

Genius the Transgression: mad they called me

[newzerzura]

VTM like all of WoD has huge racism problems but one thing they nail is the lack of perception of bias amongst white vampires towards vampires of color you read accounts from various white vampires in europe, amerika, etc. and they all say "yeah racism has pretty much stopped existing in kindred society" and then you read about shit like the European Ventrue claiming that the mostly-Muslim Ventrue of western Arabia don't have an actually separate bloodline, or European Toreador and Ventrue complaining that African vampires don't trust them anymore, or the millennia-long attempt to drive back the Ashirra, or literally ANY of the reactions of white vampires to the Hungry Dead (mandatory acknowledgement that KotE is insanely racist, although I will say that The Relentless Age, a fan rewrite of the original splat, does them "better")

it's just endless repetitions of white vampires "we're not racist :)" vampires of color "holy FUCK white vampires are SO fucking racist"

I Wonder What The Writers Are Trying To Tell Us

[redstonedust]

if vampires existed in real life i think there would be shady companies advertising "organic blood" sourced from "willing donors" who are coincidentally all poor people being paid like $5 per blood donation. and like haughty vegan vampires who only drink a synthetic blood drink thats brewed in a way thats actively worse for the enviroment. and radical traditionalist vampires who go on tiktok and claim that true alpha chads have to drain and kill people and anyone who leaves their victims alive is a liberal cuck. enter the world of hypothetical insufferable vampire politics with me.

[reddeckwinner]

Hello childe, welcome to vampiric society, since you were embraced by a Tremere I am obligated to give you your uniform:

[bahari-official]

i think it's fair to assume that in the world of darkness there's this common but poorly understood form of acute anemia that seems to affect people at random with no apparent cause. and it usually goes away after a few weeks, although sometimes it might be a recurring thing. there's a hypothesis that it might be connected to low vitamin d levels, since it's more common in people working night shifts or being otherwise active at night, but studies don't really show any conclusive evidence. probably nothing to worry about, you know how weird bodies can be sometimes

[offwegointothewildblueyonder]

when a child goes to Build-A-Bear and constructs a teddy from the parts available no one bats an eye, but when I, Victor Frankenstein,

[anexperimentallife]

[hemipenal-system]

you: wait, babe… we can’t fuck yet… you aren’t wearing protection…

your vampire lover: protection? what do you mean prote- oh ok so fuck you first of all

you, holding these:

[esotericchorus]

Basically how you account for the power imbalance the Ventrue have over the Toreador.

[wodbrew]

The Ventrue are in charge because they’re the only clan that knows how to balance a budget

[transmechanicus]

“Eating vampires older than you corrupts your humanity” is a ludicrous deception spread by Big Camarilla so we don’t find out those wretched and tyrannical bastards are delicious meals with names and addresses

[wodbrew]

The Clans: Should You Diablerize Them?

Ventrue: What part of EAT THE RICH don’t you understand? 

Malkavian: What. No. Do you want crazy? Because this is how you get crazy.

Gangrel: The only reason to diablerize a Gangrel is because you want to talk to dogs. And that is valid.

Nosferatu: It turns out, ugly IS catching. 

Toreador: Yes, but they’ll probably say something pretentious while you do it and you’ll get an STD. 

Tremare: Yes. Do it. They have it coming. 

Brujah: Side effects may include: excessive wassailing, public drunkenness, and an appreciation for poetry.

Tzmisce: Ask yourself. Is Vicissitude really worth eating that? You don’t know where it’s been.

Giovanni: Giovanni are like potato chips, you can’t eat just one. Because their relatives will keep coming after you and it becomes a whole thing. Unlike potato chips, they’re just gross. 

Followers of Set: Look. Not only should you diablerize a follower of Set, it should be on the top of your priority list. One, it serves the smug bastards right, and two, who wouldn’t want to turn into a giant snake?

LaSombra: Bold of you to assume this wasn’t their plan all along.

Assamite: The Assamite will eat you, and it will be your own fault for trying this. 

Salubri: Sure, physically, you could eat a Salubri. But emotionally? Imagine the cost. 

Caitiff: …Now you’re just being mean. 

[wodbrew]

Part II: The Bloodlines

[coff-y]

How did vampires even figure out they could walk on walls and ceilings??? Imagine the first one just casually walking, then suddenly he's on the wall like, 'Whoa, hold up! We can do this?!'

[thatsbelievable]

[forthegothicheroine]

If you want to have American vampires who fought in the losing side of a historical war, it would be very funny and a lot more interesting if they were survivors of the Whiskey Rebellion.

[godsfavouredprincess]

the 1788 doctors' riot is also totally on brand

[bairnsidhe]

if you're dead set on that Southern Charm, make them a veteran of the Battle of Blair Mountain.

[forthegothicheroine]

The Battle of Blair Mountain was the largest labor uprising in United States history and is the largest armed uprising since the American Civil War.[5][6] The conflict occurred in Logan County, West Virginia, as part of the Coal Wars, a series of early-20th-century labor disputes in Appalachia.

@maddie-grove

Time for you to finally write The Vampire Strikes Back!

[marzipanandminutiae]

alternately,

"mah sahd lost in the wauh" [thickest Georgia accent imaginable]

"oh...so you were a Confederate-"

"LAWD, NO! it was the wauh of independency."

"wait what"

"Ah've told yuh Ah was tuhned in 1785 at least a dozen tahms, mah love"

"..."

"bravely we fought fuh King Gawje and country but alas 'twas in vain"

[higgsbison]

my VtM larp history is like "there are three genders and they're all Tzimisce"

[higgsbison]

you get it

[rollingandstories]

[teaandspite]

*Puts this on the bard like the cone of shame*

[pretend-pretend-vampire]

vtm gimmick blog ideas

high-humanity-reminders ("reminder that you are not your Beast" and "reminder that killing is bad, and you should feel bad when you do it" sort of thing)

vtm-reminders ("have you made your rouse check this evening" and "have you fed lately" sort of thing)

spc-generator (posts premades/random combos, allows asks for random spcs/custom-built spcs/random details about spcs)

i-suggest-diablerie (exactly what it says on the tin)

i-sssuggessst-diablerie (as above, but more obviously a minister)

how-many-nosferatu (spotting nosferatu in posts... with auspex. always answers with "at least one", possibly more depending on how many are actually out of obfuscate)

your-vamp-is-valid ("vampires [of X predator type] are valid" sort of thing, can take requests)

will-the-beast-win (poll blog)

days-til-gehenna (don't do this)

has-gehenna-happened-yet (every post is "no")

canyou-usethisdiscipline (poll blog, disciplines and powers)

vtm-hunting-simulator (people send asks with their predator type and dietary restrictions and gets an answer with what happens)

days-since-masquerade-breach (counter for how long tumblr goes without a masquerade breach)

tag-the-vtm-oc-who (calls to tag vtm ocs who have certain traits/have done certain things)