This Time I Might Just Disappear. @wolfdogdavkun-blog - Tumblr Blog

Idk what to do with this blog.

The year is almost over. I went to college, and got my associates in 9 months. In that time, I forgot to delete my social media accounts.

Looking back at the posts I left, I feel I still agree.

It hurts. I miss my friends and I missed the chance to reconnect. One of them probably never wants to talk to me again. Just like the last one.

A person like me stretches their arm out to help, gives their whole entire heart out to people, and becomes forgotten. Don't make my mistakes. Don't obsess over the past, or you'll be considered unstable. Don't get too close to people, or they'll mistake your kindness for who knows what anymore. I'm so tired of being alive. Still, it's the few that I still have that keep me here. I wish I could have kept my mouth shut, been a bit less nosey. It was none of my business and I insisted on "helping."

I'm so tired. So tired.

My struggles never mattered. They seemed real to me, but having been told so many times that they're not, that I'm just making it up for attention, or because I'm "spoiled(I can't even)" somehow. People have strongly hated me for some reason. It always seems out of nowhere. I wanted to understand why

"Sabitsuki." Who were you, really? Just someone who was bored and decided to take the name of something that gave me comfort, only to twist it into something I could never look at again. What did I do? I still wonder if you think of me and laugh at how pathetic I still am. I know an apology won't do. I acknowledge your existence, still.

I had no childhood. I was no one, I knew no one, and no one knew me. As far as I know... I woke up just as I am now.

I didn’t have fun. I met people that I hated, excluding those very few people I love and care for

I thought I could reconnect with people I once knew, but of course that was futile. I’m going to be forgotten, and that’s just fine.

Gonna start getting rid of all my social media accounts, little by little, starting here. I just don't think it's healthy. We're being watched, and we're all so complacent. I was a fool, but no longer