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“happy lvd u should reblog these pictures” -alison bechdel
Ron Weasley. How to be confident, awkward, proud, shy and uncomfortable all in two seconds.
#emotional range more like a billion teaspoons
stuckwith-harry: callieskye: Ron Weasley. How to be confident, awkward, proud, shy and uncomfortable all in two seconds. #emotional range more like a billion teaspoons
heads up, new wifi passwords in the common rooms
Ravenclaw: IEEE802.11bDirectSequence
Hufflepuff: live-laugh-love
Slytherin: G62KLW97SQ
Gryffindor: PARK0urrr
oh my god
hagrid: [points to friendly domestic pet dog]
hagrid: FANG
hagrid: [points to mythical three-headed canine beast creature most well known for guarding the entrance to the Greek underworld but which now guards a magical stone with the potential to grant literal immortality]
hagrid: fluffy :)
the slytherins making a drinking game where they take a shot every time draco malfoy talks about harry potter
Madam Pomfrey banning the drinking game the very next day, after 90% of Slytherin house is admitted to the hospital wing with alcohol poisoning
#She drags Albus Dumbledore down to the hospital wing to show him the damage#Slytherin classes have been cancelled for the day as nearly everyone is here#too drunk to function#most are silent#but a few will occasionally look off into the distance with a sneer#and under their breaths#in the most disdainful and haughty voice they can manage#will mutter#POTTER#causing a fit of giggles to ripple through the room#Dumbledore agrees to ban the game and makes the announcement at dinner that evening#the only Slytherin in the Great Hall at that time is#of course#Malfoy#who turns red and immediately mutters that obviously this is Potter’s fault#Snape takes a shot#Harry Potter (x)
myflawslaidoutonebyone
SNAPE TAKES A SHOT
#can we just stop and appreciate Harry’s face in this scene? #I mean, he’s literally waiting for someone to say something about Hermione’s blood status #she’s the only Muggleborn in the slug club full of purebloods and well known people #and Harry’s there just like “say something I dare you” #and if you look at her face, you can see the actual hesitation and somewhat fear of what will happen next after telling of her parents occupation #Harry truly is acting like Hermione’s big brother, which I absolutely love #i just adore this scene
I love that Neville looks genuinely interested in what hermione’s talking about.
Harry: I wish a motherfucka would talk shit right now Say something, make my day Das right
Nevile looks like he’s just made a private mental note in flaming red ink: WHATEVER THE HELL A DENTIST IS, DON’T MESS WITH ONE.
#this is a harry potter blog #seriously any profession that turns out a kid like hermione #must be utterly terrifying #neville finds out it involves rearranging people’s teeth with wires and drills #and drugs and scrapy knives #and is like AHA #I KNEW IT#I KNEW THEY WERE TERRIFYING #hermione granger: horrifying storm of a girl since day one #(so do the muggles have to be hunted down for that or does the government assign you targets) he asks her one day #she squints at him for a long time #’they volunteer’ she says eventually #neville shivers #muggles are HARDCORE
Including tags because oh my fucking god.
Do you think Ginny came up with her Valentine’s Day poem on her own?
Or do you think she had help?
Like
Say from
I don’t know
A magical diary or something
That she always confided in
And would probably do whatever she asked
Like help her write a poem
OKAY BUT -
“I wish he were mine, he’s really divine - the hero who conquered the Dark Lord.”
Only Death Eaters called Voldemort the Dark Lord.
Ginny did NOT write that.
VOLDEMORT WROTE HARRY POTTER A LOVE POEM: CONFIRMED.
I once had the honest-to-Zeus joy of translating some ancient philosopher’s essay on why centaurs can’t exist. It can be summarized as follows:
Centaurs are not a thing. In all real animals and most of the fake ones, the spine is relatively straight between the tail and neck. Only for centaurs are we asked to believe it would make a right-angled bend. And now that I’ve made you actually think about centaur anatomy, I rest my case.
I laughed way harder than I should have
trans!albus potter headcanon: when albus is like five or so, he comes up to harry and says, timidly, ‘daddy, i think i’m a boy’ and harry goes into supportive parent mode and just automatically says ‘that’s great son’ and they hug and then albus asks, ‘can you give me a new name, daddy?’ because albus knows all of their names come from his father and mother’s loved ones and he thinks it’s important to keep that going.
but harry’s just freaking out mentally because damn, he wasted sirius by using it as a middle name for james but he doesn’t want to tell his son to wait until he’s slept on it for his name so he just blurts out ‘albus severus’ and for a second, he’s mentally cursing because that is a terrible name but albus loves it! he kisses harry on the cheek and immediately tells everyone his great new name so it just sticks.
This explains everything about why Albus’s middle name is Severus.
This is the ACTUAL. BEST. HEADCANON!
#B E A U T I F U L #nitwit; blubber; oddment; tweak #later ginny says ‘harry what were you thinking’ #’I PANICKED I COULDN’T THINK OF ANY MORE DEAD PEOPLE’ #’remus; harry. why didn’t you choose remus.’ #’oh yeah.’ (tags via skulliotss)
I PANICKED I COULDN’T THINK OF ANY MORE DEAD PEOPLE
Reblobbing this cause the I couldn’t think of any more dead people made me spew my drink.
#harry practically everyone you know is dead it’s not that hard
there had to be slytherin students who didn’t go with the rest of the house and fought in the battle for hogwarts
kids who took off their ties so nobody could clock them, who blended in with the forces
kids who kept their ties on and realised it would be a lonely fight
kids who watched as the other houses recognised them, and stood in silent solidarity with them,
kids who hated slytherin house, but knew anyone who stayed was their ally
a group of school children are not a lost cause, are not rotten to the core, even if they’ve been raised on some poisonous shit. it’s a shame they were treated like they were irredeemable by the canon narrative
And then there also had to be the ones who evacuated with the younger students, looking over their shoulders in case of pursuit, wands in hand and hexes on their tongues.
Who counted heads and made sure, with the memory for faces and names that makes for a budding politician, that the youngest students were there - not only their own house, but the preteens in yellow and blue and red, too.
Who saw a third year about to sneak off to join the battle and stunned him and carried him out to safety, lying through their teeth - he fell and hit his head in the rush, someone make sure he’s ok - because tonight of all nights no one is going to buy that that attack was for the boy’s own good.
Who, when confronted with a girl in a red and gold scarf who is four months short of her seventeenth birthday and full of fire and steel, demanding why they’re here, why they’re hiding like cowards, why they aren’t fighting, could look down their nose at the bloodthirsty little fool and inform her that people will die tonight, good brave, loyal, intelligent people, but people will live tonight, too. And some of those people will be the generation of young students smuggled out of the castle, who we have seen get away safe, no thanks to your lust for battle. And some of those will be the veterans who limp away as the dust clears, and they will need succor - can you brew a bone knitting potion with the contents of your school bag over a tea light? Because I can. And the world will continue to turn and no matter how important the battle that is raging, the wizarding world is bigger than one castle and wizarding society is more than one institution.
Because cunning is not cowardice, and ambition is not a sin, and some day someone in this milling crowd of scared children will sit on the Wizengamot and someone will invent a startlingly effective magical treatment for a common illness and someone will create renowned works of art and it will, in part, be because I helped make sure they were safely clear of Hogwarts before the castle started falling down around our ears.
I could never, ever, believe that all the Slytherins just ran away, some would have had friends in other houses that they wanted to fight and die beside, some wanted to prove that they were not what everyone thought them to be and make some good in the world.
JK really disappointed me there.
Slytherin students who don’t think they can hex their parents, their brothers, their uncles and nieces and nephews, and who don’t want to be a risk to the others fighting if they falter and hesitate because they’re not looking at a Death Eater, suddenly, they’re looking into the same face that brought them a broom for their seventh birthday
Do you notice how even after Draco got his dad to get Buckbeak executed, Hagrid never took out his anger on Draco or randomly docked points from Slytherin, while Snape constantly bullied Harry because of his unresolved James issues even though Harry didn't actually do anything to him? Everyone should be more like Hagrid and less like Snape in terms of teaching.
I LOVE THIS AND I LOVE YOU
And like, people give Hagrid shit for bringing dangerous creatures to class but like…. literally the only thing Hagrid did that could really be considered dangerous to the well-being of his students were the Blast-Ended Skrewts, and he learned his lesson after that. If Draco had paid attention during his freaking lecture, he wouldn’t have gotten mauled by Buckbeak.
“Hey, this animal is very proud and dangerous so be careful and do this this and this to avoid offending him, and he may even let you ride him!”
Draco: -does the opposite of everything his teacher said and then is surprised when he got hurt-
He fucking deserved it, basically. He’s like that kid in metal-shop who ignores the instructions and winds up chopping off a finger. (And before anyone brings up the Monster Book of Monsters, Hagrid may have assigned that book to his class but someone else created it. And clearly it isn’t a rare thing, since the book store owner was complaining about the Invisible Book of Invisibility too.)
Yup.
Hagrid: Do not under any circumstances offend this animal, kay? In fact, Harry, uh, he’s not accepting your respect quick enough, maybe back off - oh no, okay, he likes you! Now the rest of you try, but be careful as well. No offending them.
Draco: You’re not going to hurt me, you great brute - OWIE! I am owie! I could not possibly have predicted this result, it’s Hagrid’s fault! Make him pay for the consequences of my arrogance, Daddy!
Also I refuse to believe there was anything unusual about Hagrid’s teaching methods considering we are explicitly told the previous CoMC teacher retired in order to spend more time with his remaining limbs. Like many classes in the wizarding world, CoMC is generally dangerous and nobody gave a fuck until it was a half-giant teaching it.
Do you think Teddy Lupin ever looks at photos of his dad and tries to change his looks to look like him and one day Harry walked in on him doing that and burst into tears
I mean what
did you have a bad day at work today satan?
Okay but can we talk about McGonagall not only made special arrangements for harry to be seeker (listen she didn’t ask Dumbledore she told him and he shrugged and was like ur my fav do what you want) but then she did exactly what she wanted which was to drop a small fricking fortune to buy harry THE COOLEST BESTEST FASTEST BROOMSTICK available
She also entrusted Hermione with a time turner in her second year…?!!
A TIME TURNER!!
third year, but yes, she did. she went and got the minstry’s approval and personally vouched for the girl.
she also encouraged neville to take a class he didn’t think he could and was gracious about not letting him into her newt class and offered to write home to his gran to assuage his fears?
she made sure the weasleys got to dumbledore’s office so they could gtfo the castle safely when mr weasley got attacked
she went to bat for harry when umbridge was being umbridge about harry being an auror
she gave ron and harry sandwiches when they drove the car into the whomping willow
she was strict but she also looked out for her kids
To me, Minerva McGonagall is the archetype of strict but just and fair. You absolutely know that she cares and will not punish for kicks or by whim. Who will go out for a limb for you when you need it and be graceful and matter of fact about it. Who will also kick your as when you’re an ass and set you straight. Someone who you can trust like a rock. awws
Sometimes, I wonder how many times Hermione cried when she made strange things happen as a little girl, remembering all the disney movies in which the Witch was the villain…….
sometimes I wonder how about you shut the fuck up
sorting hat quizzes be like
How do you brush your teeth?
a) bravely
b) while making a sandwich
c) while reading a book
d) I’m a snake