Laughter In Slaughter

Combating anxiety, stress, and depression with humor and procrastination.

[courtdraws]

team 7 ramen time! 🍥

[prints available here]

[biologust]

[birdship]

[the-doctor-9-10]

Honestly, my favorite thing at the moment is all the marvel headcanons where Hela wasn’t cray-cray homicidal, and she’s an overprotective bitchy sister.

[archiveofidentityconstellations]

as an eldest daughter, i sometimes commit the grave sin of having emotions

[angel-of-smol-death-deactivated]

All your random posts are almost uncomfortably relatable

[archiveofidentityconstellations]

“conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know” had nothing to do with Elsa’s powers. it’s just the mantra of eldest daughters

[xshyboyx-blog1]

[powerfulwizard]

Otis is actually canonically trans

[powerfulwizard]

[gutweeds]

the laughing cow is trans too wake up

i love these trans cow icons

[sweetmeatdale]

Hormones in the milk turnin the cows trans

[mobilesuitzetagundam]

[zmun-deactivated20210618]

My brain riding out the last hour of work

[fyrasblog]

[funnypicsdept]

[dragontatoes]

some cat: does this

ancient egyptian pharaoh: oh what a LOOK *starts wearing huge gold collars*

[webscene-remade]

answered a scam call today and had the most bizarre conversation

[webscene-remade]

scam caller: hello, how are you today?

me: great!

scam caller: good. I’m calling because your IP address has been compromised. I’ll just need you to get in front of your computer so we can get your account fixed up.

me: okay! there is one thing I’m wondering, though

scam caller: what?

me: you really couldn’t think of a better lie?

scam caller:

me: like, my “IP address has been compromised.” How, exactly, does an IP address become “compromised”?

scam caller:

me: I was just wondering, is all

scam caller: why did you answer?

me:

me: what?

scam caller: if you knew this wasn’t a legitimate call, then why did you answer?

me: oh, I just though I would have some fun at your expense.

scam caller: what expense? talking is no expense to me.

me: well, you’re currently not accomplishing your goal

scam caller: my goal?

me: your goal of scamming my elderly grandmother. You’re not accomplishing that. I’d call that an expense.

scam caller: well, can I scam you?

me:

me: did you- did you ask if you can scam me?

scam caller: yes. can I scam you?

me, baffled: sure, you can try

scam caller: you need to get in front of your computer

me: yeah, that’s still a problem. I’m eating tater tots right now and I really don’t feel like getting up.

scam caller: okay. I will call you tomorrow morning, then.

me: I might not answer. My grandma definitely won’t.

scam caller: You answered today.

me: …touché?

scam caller: I will call you tomorrow. Have a good day.

[marioyuri-moved-to-transkaito]

Enemies to lovers, slow burn, 500K

[ampervadasz]

[supercerdo]

[seriousjones]

[theycallmey]

we live in the best possible version of cyberpunk

[heavenslittlemachine-deactivate]

this is how people born after 1995 hack. when i started hacking or “phreaking” in the late 80s i would get in the zone by snorting homemade amphetamines & listening to harsh noise cassettes while banging out code for 24+ hour periods on my atari. mostly i would write text-to-speech features into the operating system so the computer said swear words when you double-click. i remember when html was invented i got so frustrated because theres so many greater than and less than signs and you have to put them around everything. in early january of 2001 i changed Google’s header to a gif of a pissing orangutan and the resulting publicity turned the website into a household name 

[benepla-deactivated20200506]

never have a been more devastated to scroll over a url and see its deactivated who are you ma'am

[coolxatu]

what if god was one of us…

[jame7t]

it’s fun to stay at the Y

[monster-fucker]

M

[jame7t]

M

[yahenni]

M

[nyxwoven]

*smacks the side of my boom box to get the cd to stop skipping*

[the-skeletoninyour-closet]

It’s fun to stay at the

[leafyninja15]

Y

[bakugou-klancey-lance]

Y

[tamayakii]

Y

[kmn-please-deactivated20210529]

Y

[wolftail7]

Y

[neonprotagonist]

New form of joke: telling someone to roll an ability check for something that obviously doesn’t need that type of check

[neonprotagonist]

“I wanna see if this dead body is anyone we recognize” “Roll an acrobatics check”

[thequicksilverfox]

You say joke, but I like to use it as an opportunity to genuinely fuck with players. “I want to see if the dead body is anyone we know.” “Roll acrobatics.” “11?” “The body seizes you by the wrists and lunges at your throat with its teeth, howling like a demon. You are grappled. Roll initiative.”

Or, “I want to check the chest for traps.” “Roll performance.” “Okay, uh. 17…?” “You start whistling quietly while you go about tapping, poking, and examining the sides of the chest. It’s a pretty catchy tune you picked up a couple days ago from the bard.” “Alright, neat, and the chest?” “The chest starts humming along.”

[neonprotagonist]

OH MY GOSH THAT SECOND ONE IS A RLLY GOOD IDEA

[mintstermonsters]

MIMICS ARE THE BANE AND BLESSING OF MY EXISTENCE.

[honeycorpse-deactivated20121225]

[gayerluke]

security question: what was the last name of your first grade teacher?

my first grade teacher hacking my bank account: i’m in

[wolfvalkyrie-blog]

why is this so fucking funny 

[gayerluke]

it’s a joke

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

[in-fi-ni-deactivated20181203]

engagement rings ranked by their ability to break someone’s nose

a pretty standard arrangement for engagement rings. a raised stone is better than nothing. 3/10

a lovely, simple, elegant wedding band. a classic anybody would be pleased to get married with. useless in a fight. 0/10

huge. tacky. kinda pretty tho. but look at that raised diamond in the center. you could easily break someone’s tooth with this. 7/10

also huge and tacky. at first glance you’d think the rounded edge might not cause much damage but look at how those rows of diamonds are raised in the second view. you could really rip up someone’s face. 9/10

this one is almost elegant. no sharp edges, but it’s solidly built. you would cause more damage with the ring on than off, which is a solid basis for choosing an engagement ring. 5/10

a lovely design, i enjoy open filigree. however im not sure how said filigree would stand up to the impact of being slammed into someone’s face. 2/10

the twisting design is pretty, but im not entirely sure that socking someone in the jaw wouldnt break off those stones. it looks somewhat reinforced but do you really want to leave the Punching Power of  your engagement ring up to chance? i wouldnt. two raised stones tho. 6/10, pending experimentation

HAHAHAHA holy shit. thats Five raised stones, with reinforced prongs, for maximum damage at any angle. i highly recommend this ring both for its sapphire centerpiece and its capacity for causing pain. 10/10

there’s not even a stone, its just gold which aint exactly the hardest metal in the world. just fucking stay home if you’re not going to take this seriously.

[optimysticals]

*jeweler voice*

That filigree you gave 2/10? much sturdier than the filigree tacky rings… Trust me. Those are super hollow and light on the settings so that they aren’t too heavy or expensive. (and so they don’t roll on your finger)

Also worth noting:

White gold = sturdier than yellow gold (which is why most prongs are in white)

Now, if you want a ring that’ll hold up to socking someone in the nose, may I suggest 10kt white gold (hardest of gold options, sturdier than silver, and more reasonable than platinum)

See how thick all that metal is? It’s not going to cave in on you.

And you can do this with it:

Because nothing says punching a nazi in the nose like a diamond/sapphire/ruby encrusted Captain America ring…

[insanityandimpossiblethings]

read this again but imagine its Peggy Carter picking her engagement ring

[optimysticals]

yes. good.

[aro-disk]

I WAS LOOKING FOR MINECRAFT REACTION IMAGES AND I FOUND THIS AND I CANT STOP CRYING