Wolfy

Hi, i'm Wolfy a dumb phoenix. I love drawing (both digital and traditional), animating (still noob in it), writing stories (both original and fanfiction). Favorite games: Genshin Impact, Wuthering Waves, Minecraft Favorie movies/animes/shows: Studio Ghibli animes, Death Note, Devil May Cry anime, Avatar The Last Airbender I'm also dumb to technology (i'm not old, just VERY stupid) so bare with me please XD

[wolfythephoenix]

YEP, finaly came to my sences and advertizing it lol XD

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Examples for ,,big painting/stand-alone drawing" or ,,background":

-from my fantasy novel project: Akaruma-

-a fanart for my dear friend @the-fifth-rascal 's Genshin-based AU fanfiction-

-Capitano-inspired pc background-

-this one is my only actual commission i've recieved so far :c -

Examples for ,,character sheet/reference drawing":

-character from my novel projeczt: Akaruma-

-Cyno sharacter sheet from my modern AU Genshin comic series-

Examples for ,,emote/sticker":

-all these 3 are actual emotes i use in my videos-

Also here are links for videos that show the key points of my workflow:

Just to clarify, even tho a really big painting takes me only aroung 5 hours at max (maybe 7 on very rare occasions), most of the time i have like 2 hours at max a day, that i can spend on it, so i tend to say a much MUCH bigger number for the deadline, just to be safe.

Links:

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@redwolfteam321

🐦‍🔥

[wolfythephoenix]

,,Brothers" On The Hunt [Soth, Chase, Cyno W.I.P. Fanfic Scene]

[TW: graphic description of violence, animal death, blood, implications of animal experimentation]

(Note 1: Chase is the other OC of @sothera the person i'm collabing with. However, his page is catering more towards older audiance, so keep that in mind if visiting his page!)

(Note2: This is still a rough draft, bound to change!)

Dry air scratching his throat, holding wind pushing hot sand particles against his skin, burning its surface. Nothing that Cyno isn't used to by now. Just his usual routine.

Collecting enough information on his target.

Planning out his whole line of next moves well ahead.

And, probably the easiest part, luring the rat out of its hole.

A tiring, taxing job, acknowledged by very few. But, he couldn't care any less. This is what keeps Sumeru safe. This is what keeps his friends safe. This is what keeps his new family safe.

This is what makes him feel accomplished. Like fulfilling an ancient duty. Albeit with a partially selfish undertone, he's a human after all. A selfish creature by design. Enacting a selfless, praiseless duty.

It may be praiseless for others. But it is fulfilling for him.

Seeing all those criminals tremble in fear. Fearing for their worthless little lives, yet never consider the lives of others. Seeing their fall is ever so satisfying every time. Making them experience the same horror and terror they brought upon the innocent.

Uprooting every filthy rat plaguing the land, and making them crumble in the claws of the law, like sand particles in an hourglass. It is exactly what he was born to do.

He had quiet the fallback. But he's back on track again. He really wishes it wasn't by being the burden for others, but, he'll make it up to them somehow.

But for now, he needs to focus on the task at hand.

A mildly frustrating group of criminals, with a hefty track record consisting of robberies, assault, and, among others, the reason why he's the one specifically responsible for dealing with them: breaking 3 of the 6 cardinal sins of the Sumeru Akademiya.

No. 1: interfere with human evolution.

No. 2: tamper with life and death.

No. 6: attempt the forbidden and fear none.

Even with those 3 sins broken, they were already on his priority list. But with such a long list of wrongdoings, they have nowhere to run. Judgement will find them. The claws of death will find them.

And just as he predicted, his current preys took the bait, presenting themselves on a silver platter.

<Cyno> ,,Hm, an ambush. In the middle of the desert. In broad daylight. Really? How creative."

5 perople, out of the 20 in total. The blood of 15 already staning his claws. Although, the creatures surrounding the criminal group and him…might be a bit of a problem. At least two or three dozen of bionic dogs waiting to snap his bones, dig their claws into his flesh. Unfortunate for them, his own claws are just as ready, thirsty for the fresh blood.

<Cyno> ,,At least you've made my job easier. Hand over the Crimson Marrow Crystals, and MAYBE i'll show mercy and let you chose how you want to die."

<???> ,,You? Mercy? Hah, don't make me laugh! Don't you see? This thing can easily be humanity's next step towards obtaining the favor of the Gods!" The biggest one of the 5 starts.

<Cyno> ,,Unless you serve the Abyss, no God will ever give their blessing for such cruelty!"

<???> ,,And how do you know that, spawn of a Godless land?!" Interestingly, the weakest looking is the one taking on the role of being the chatterbox.

<Cyno> ,,Sumeru has a God. It always had. Wether it's Al-Ahmar, the Goddess of Flowers, or the Lesser Lord. The only thing you're achieving here, is making me losing my patience and get the Crystals back by force. And i am sure neither of you want that."

<???> ,,Don't be so c o c k y, General Mahamatra!"

Now who's the one talking… How pityful.

<Cyno> ,,Last warning. Hand over the Crimson Marrow shards, or else your punishment is immidiate death."

Arms hanging by his side, Cyno lets his claws out, as a signal. He's already way too generous for giving such a group of prey this many warnings. Yet they still do not heed any of it.

<???> ,,You talk too much, filthy desert worm!"

Suddenly, the biggest of them all, most likely the sort of leader of this small bunch, throws the Crimson Marrow shards against a rock. All the while keeping a wide, amused grin across his face, as the shards shatter into tiny pieces, emitting a way too familiar, dark green smoke.

Cyno's vision is enveloped with dark green.

His sense of smell overpowered by the stomach churning odor of decomposing human flesh and blood.

And in an instant, like one big hivemind, the bionic dogs swarm around him rapidly in a centrifuge, quiet a few of them showing clear signs of Marana infection too, noticing the black goo oozing from them.

He needs to neaturalize the Marana- But there are way too many bionic dogs attacking him from every turn, leaving him no room to pull out the needed special Dendro bomb! In a counterattack to solve the problem, Cyno unleashes his haunting ancient power, to aid him in serving judgement over these worthless souls.

Thundering howl echoes across their surrounding, like an otherworldly warning. A warning that these fools did not heed at all. A warning, that is considered a luxury, or even an honor, when a criminal is faced with him. If these *di**s can't respect judtice and law, how do they think a God of all beings, would give them their blessing?

Aiming at creating himself a window for motion, he zaps through the bionic beasts, like lightning in a thundercloud. Menacing claws ripping thru flesh and bone, like knife through butter. Cold, almost metallic slashes, with sizzles of electricity, thundering of rapid gunshots, screaming, snarling, roaring of bionic dogs, bones breaking, skulls crashing.

Until, he finally gains the much needed miliseconds to fish out the Dendro bomb, holding Tighnari's antidote. Tossing it on the ground, it causes soft, light shades of Dendro green to sprout from it. Just in time, when a certain, familiar combination of scent gets carried by the wind, towards the chaos.

Coconut and ananas.

He's here.

Chancing the quickest glance to the spot where the scent came from, he notices…two figures? So both of them are here it seems. And they seem to be ready- Oh no!

While slashing down another dog, he yells up behind his shoulder, to their general direction.

<Cyno> ,,DON'T COME HERE! AT LEAST- WAIT A MINUTE- OR SO!"

Continues to slice and slash, and dodge the bullets. At least, now their, seemingly leader, is down. That both makes his job easier, but harder at the same time. Seeing the cowards running away, like the flock of prey they are.

One of the pair, the younger of the two, says nothing; instead, he simply slaps his right hand against his now bare chest, which makes a deep, echoing whoomping sound, nodding, and using the same hand to draw a circle in the air, one that encircles the dogs. The other, a man wearing only an old style Assassin’s cloak and a pair of black cotton pants, simply stares at Cyno, pointing at Cyno's Human adversaries, and arching an eyebrow.

<Cyno> ,,No!, the rats are mine, just the dogs!”

The pair simply nodded, wordlessly, watching him go.

After parting ways, he only takes one single glance back to check on them, out of habit.

<Cyno> ,,Don't Feed on the ones with Marana, the black stuff leaking from them!"

The pair simply bows their heads in compliance; the desert taking on an eerie red glow as the elaborate runes in the center of each of their chests began to shine…

Their respectful compliance, something that the Matra recruits could learn too, gives him the peace of mind he needs, while focusing on his pursue after the rest of the coward rats. Once he's able to, he'll explain them properly why. But his targets are much more urgent than formalities.

And pursuing 4 filthy, coward rats all at once is no easy feat. Not to mention, they're most likely hiding something, since they all run in the same direction, instead of scattered around, like one would do, to evade one single person.

Luckily for his thinning patience, he's able to catch up to one of them, using the ghostly transparent, yet fully manifested clawed arm to reach forward, and stab it right through the prey's body. Blood spilling out of them, like a popped water balloon.

And just like that, he continues his menhunt.

Another one staggers behind from lack of energy. To then be sliced in half with one single slash.

The remaining two, albeit the most coward ones, they surprisingly almost even outrun him. Almost. But they can never really outrun their inevitable death.

Within minutes, they arrive at a natural rock formation, where both prey are quiet literally cornered.

<Cyno> ,,You really think you can outrun judgement?!" Although he himself, is on the verge of panting like an overheated dog. ,,End of the road."

<???> ,,I don't think so!"

With that, one pulls out a pistol, which he DID anticipated they would, but what he didn't forseen-

Is that the other takes advantage of his detered focus, to get into his periferial vision and shove some kind of cloth into his face… It reeks of Marana!

Holding the prey'r arm with one hand, he pushes his other, clawed hand right into the attacker's body. A quick cracking sound of bone can be heard, then a meek inhale of an air that won't fill the rat's lung. And just like that, they drop to the ground. And the whole scene unfolded so fast, the last one standing can't even process it, before Cyno slashes their pistol. Cowering in hear, the prey succombs to his jelly-legs, sliding firther and further away from the General. Who's merely hovering over them, slowly inching towards their way.

Stepping right on the leg of the criminal, he restricts their one and only way of escaping, before grabbing the prey by the neck, hovering them above the ground. Not much, because of his own height, but enough to make the other feel powerless. Before slashing the criminal's throat. Severing their head from the neck.

After dropping the limp corpse on the ground, Cyno quickly drops another antidote-bomb near the previous corpse, then limps his way a bit further away from the Dendro-mist, but still staying in the shades.

Deactivating his power, he then dropping to his knees from the sudden rush of exhaustion, pain, and dizzyness. Back against the rock formation, while searching through his strap-on pocket that's on his pants. Pulling out Tighnari's antidote…basically stabbing it into his own upper arm, not a care about the pain it brings. Just in time, before the real hallucinations would start. Now, he just has to wait out for it to work… Breathing still laboured from the whole events, but it's slowly starting to stabilize. He feels so dizzy from that sudden whiff of Marana directly inhaled… Luckily, it wasn't enough to cause actual damages…but it still makes his vision all blurry and washed together…like if looking into a cup of drink, while lightly stiring it… Just closing his eyes for a bit is a good idea…before he actually gets sick…

Meanwhile back at the scene of carnage that he left…

<Chase> ,,The technique you showed me is quite a time saver."

Holding a dog's tail in each hand, swinging each of them first backwards, he then forwards into each other. 

The thump caused by their bodies slammed into each other is felt as much felt as heard. The metallic, cybernetic parts shattering and flying in different directions. The bones crunching and smasing, leaving little internal structure to see.

Within ten minutes, all but four of the dogs remain, as Soth looks at the two he held by the scruff of the neck. Chase doing the same, then asking the obvious question.

<Chase> ,,Should we? I'm not that hungry, and these creatures, quite frankly, are not that appetizing.” Metallic parts, wires…he'll pass.

<Soth> ,,They're more machine than living thing; most of their strength comes from the mechanical system.” He points out, holding his last two above his head.

<Chase> ,,Then we find food elsewhere; they seem to let the Prey just roam around here."

Why though? It is very much dangerous to let such beasts roam their land just like that. Especially given that this Sumeru place is human-dominant, with very few of them having proper tools to eliminate these creatures.

<Soth> ,,The cave systems here are not as extensive as they are in Agartha; which makes it easier for us."

He's still casually holding up his pair of dogs.

<Chase> ,,No sense in prolonging this…”

<Soth> ,,Agreed…" 

With supernatural precision, both Soth and Chase flipps their dogs around, grabbing them by their tails…the sound of flesh hitting flesh combined with a pained yip from the dogs as their bodies shatter, literal bags of bones. 

After hearing Chase sigh…

<Soth> ,,A quick, painless end is the best we can offer them."

Poor creatures… They didn't deserve the pain they went through. And all for what? To be tools of further destruction…

<Soth> ,,This looks like a two vial job."

They both retrieve a small bottle from their EternaBags, pouring a drop on each dog; there's a brief flash as the bodies vaporize. 

<Chase> ,,Now, the important question, should we offer to help?"

<Soth> ,,No…not unless he asks, it would only distract him…besides, we should observe our handiwork."

<Chase> ,,He is progressing well; his strength increases with each sparring session.

It won't take long to restore him to the level he was before, the one he wishes to be at for combat.” The sounds of intense, but fast combat a distance away pruves his statement. ,,I have a session planned with him for later today, which is why I'm so eager to Feed, I want to show no sign of weakness in front of him.”

<Soth> ,,Don't worry, Brother Chase, we will both taste strength…soon." He already has an idea where to start. And is eager to experience their taste. ,,Your decision to speed up Cyno's recovery was the correct one; thank you for showing me the technique you use.”

<Chase> ,,I'm pleased I was finally able to show you something you weren't familiar with." 

<Soth> ,,There are many things you can teach me, Brother Chase…those needles, for example.” 

As Chase studies the younger man; not that much younger than he, but so different, so…open to others… The difference between Cleaner and Assassin. 

<Chase> ,,The Goal Is All…” A grinning draws itself onto his face.

<Soth> ,,The Hunt, Always…” Answers with a grin of his own.

<Chase> ,,One of the scorpion things, perhaps?”

<Soth> ,,Think larger, brother…" He can almost feel himself drooling just from the thought. Thankfully, it isn't happening literally.

<Chase> ,,The crocodile creatures? You know where one…” He begins, gears already turning.

<Soth> ,,Two, two alphas, twice as strong as their kindred." His grin spreading even more.

<Chase> ,,We will feast…” He says, thumping his hand to the center of his chest…the sound echoing through the desert. 

Soth repeats the gesture and with it, the sound, like two thunderclaps at the same time. 

<Soth> ,,I enjoy the look on Cyno's face as I drain the Prey completely; watching his fear of those creatures lessen as I pull the last of its strength into me is as satisfying as the meal itself.”

That terrified look…hewill never be able to forget it. Soth never seen the man be so scared of anything. Be it a whole hoard of these experiment-victim dogs, the most horrid criminal possible, or those gigantic Wenuts, that would view a human as a mere snack, rather than a full-on meal.

<Chase> ,,Then he will be quite pleased with us soon.”

<Soth> Nods. ,,Yes, after all he's been through, he deserves at least some joy in his life, and if we can provide that so simply, then so much the better." Concludes, while finding a comfortable spot to sit.

Chase sits next to him, listening to the sounds of the desert, and to the sounds of death, for once not coming from him or Soth.

<Soth> ,,Now…we wait…”

[wolfythephoenix]

Sketching a comic page in which Cyno slips then rolls down a small slide. I didn't really thought it would turn out any good. But it's slowly turning to look okay.

Prime example of ,,trust the process" XD

[mchrispzzz]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Cyno/Tighnari (Genshin Impact) Characters: Cyno (Genshin Impact), Tighnari (Genshin Impact), Other Character Tags to Be Added Additional Tags: Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Strangers to Friends, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, alternative universe, Tighnarians still live in the desert, Tighnari can handle the heat, Cyno disgused as one of the corpse of thirty Series: Part 1 of Where Golden Sand And Emerald Leaves Meet Summary:

What if the Tighnarians decided to turn their backs on the forest and returned to the desert?

How will it affect Tighnari’s life from there on? A life of a full-blooded Valuka Shuna.

Finally! Two chapters are in AO3 now. Enjoy reading it. ^^

[wolfythephoenix]

A bunch of W.I.P. of my upcoming comic pages o.O

[luna-azzurra]

Tips for Writing Injuries! (AGAIN)

Your action hero just got shot in the shoulder, stitched it up in a motel bathroom, and is now running through a forest. I need you to know that a shoulder wound severs muscle, nerves, and sometimes bone, and the human body's response to that is not "mild wincing followed by full range of motion." here is what injuries actually do to peoplee...

⊹ Adrenaline is REAL and it does allow people to do extraordinary things immediately after injury, BUT it is a loan, not a gift. you borrow the function and you pay it back later with interest. Your character might genuinely be able to run for twenty minutes after being stabbed. and then the adrenaline drops and everything the body was delaying arrives all at once. the collapse is NOT weakness. it's biology collecting its debt. write the debt collection. it's more interesting than the heroic sprint anyway.

⊹ Blood loss changes cognition before it drops you. you don't go from "fine" to "unconscious." you go through a whole middle stage of confusion, poor decision-making, emotional dysregulation, a strange calm, tunnel vision, difficulty forming sentences. Your injured character making a bad call, saying something they normally wouldn't, becoming suddenly and inexplicably gentle--that's blood loss. use the middle stage. it's dramatically rich and almost nobody writes it.

⊹ Recovery has a timeline and the timeline is long and boring and inconvenient to plot. a broken rib takes six weeks and during those six weeks sneezing is a genuine emergency. a concussion means no screens, no reading, no bright lights, and symptoms can persist for months. a stab wound to the abdomen means weeks of infection risk, limited mobility, and a specific kind of exhaustion that has nothing to do with sleep. Your character being sidelined and frustrated and useless for a long time is not a narrative problem. it's the story.

⊹ Pain also affects personality in ways writers skip. chronic pain makes people short-tempered and then guilty about being short-tempered. it makes concentration difficult. it makes intimacy complicated, both emotional and physical. a character who was patient and warm before their injury and is now snappy and withdrawn is not a character regression. they're in pain. pain is exhausting in ways that don't show on the outside. the people around them noticing and not knowing how to help is a whole story in itself.

[luna-azzurra]

Tips for Writing Grief! (AGAIN)

the five stages of grief were never meant to be a checklist your character moves through in chronological order across three chapters. Let me save you from writing a grieving character who is simply having scheduled emotions:

⊹ Grief is not primarily crying. i know that sounds wrong but hear me out. a lot of grief looks like doing laundry. cooking something the person liked and then not being able to eat it. watching a show they recommended and never told anyone you finished it. grief goes very quiet and very domestic for long stretches and then ambushes you at completely unreasonable moments like a petrol station or a Friday at 4pm for no reason at all.

⊹ people who are grieving often seem fine. not because they're suppressing or being brave or in denial, but because humans are genuinely capable of functioning and being devastated at the same time. your grieving character can make jokes. can go to work. can have a good day. can feel guilty about the good day. can feel guilty about not feeling guilty. grief has a very active internal bureaucracy that has nothing to do with what's visible on the outside.

⊹ Grief also changes shape over time in ways that aren't necessarily about getting better. the first year is often adrenaline, there are things to do, people around, ritual and structure. year two is frequently harder because the adrenaline is gone and the world has moved on and expects you to have moved on with it. your character being more visibly undone eighteen months later than at the funeral is not a pacing problem. it's accurate.

⊹ The relationship with the dead person doesn't stop. this is the one writers get most wrong. your grieving character is still in a relationship , still arguing with the person in their head, still updating them on things, still furious about something left unsaid, still finding out new things about them from other people and having to integrate a version of them they didn't fully know. grief is not the end of the relationship. it's the relationship continuing without any new information coming in.

[luna-azzurra]

Tips for Writing Comas!

Your character has been in a coma for three weeks and just woke up, said something profound, recognised everyone in the room, and will be walking by next chapter. i love you. i respect your commitment to the plot. but i need you to sit down because we have to talk about what the human body actually does when it's been unconscious for three weeks.

⊹ Waking from a coma is not waking up. it is a gradual, nonlinear process that can take days or weeks. there's no moment where the eyes open and the person is back. there are stages: responses to pain, then to voice, then to commands, then inconsistent awareness, then windows of consciousness that come and go. Your character might recognise someone they love and then have no memory of it an hour later. the people waiting at the bedside have to live in that uncertainty for a very long time.

⊹ Muscle atrophy is immediate and significant. after one week of immobility, you lose a measurable percentage of muscle mass. after three weeks? your character cannot sit up unaided. they cannot stand. their legs do not work the way they used to and getting them to work again involves weeks of painful physiotherapy. They will not be walking to the window to look meaningfully at the sky. They will be trying to hold a cup without dropping it.

⊹ Cognitive effects are real and unpredictable. memory gaps. difficulty concentrating. words disappearing mid-sentence. personality changes that might be temporary or might not be. your character waking up is the beginning of finding out who they are now, which parts came back intact and which parts are different in ways that can't be fixed by time or willpower. The person who walked in is not quite the same person who wakes up.

⊹ The psychological experience of the people who were waiting is also almost never written properly. you visited someone unconscious every day for three weeks and talked to them and held their hand and made decisions about their care and lived in a sustained state of grief and hope at the same time. and then they wake up. and you're supposed to be relieved. and you are relieved. but you're also exhausted in a way nobody is acknowledging, and slightly angry in a way you can't justify, and you've changed too while they were gone. the reunion is complicated. Write the complicated.

⊹ What the coma patient experiences, if anything, is genuinely unknown. some people report nothing. some report vivid dream-like states they can't distinguish from memory. some report hearing voices around them, including things said at the bedside that were never meant for them. Your character might have three weeks of false memories they believe are real. They might have heard something they weren't supposed to hear. they woke up knowing something about the people in that room that those people don't know they know.

[wolfythephoenix]

Soth & Chase Stickers/Emojies!

Both of them are @sothera 's characters ^ ^

Soth's bunch:

Chase's bunch:

[sothera]

He'd finally found a place to park; some little grab coin on the road, but at least it had a paved lot. Rafe knew Miles wasn't the type to just stand around, but the turnaround time was amazing. The League of 'Racial Purity' was finally being treated the way it should be, a cult of bigots, bullies, and ruffians that needed to be locked up far away from any civilized society. But one of them managed to escape, probably by paying someone, and was now at large.

Soth had to be made aware of this; his life, and anyone near him, is in danger, if not from Kellon Trúgvandi himself, then from one of the Gods know how many people that simply faded into the background. Rafe pulled the ComGem out from under his shirt and held it in his hand, speaking the name...

"Get a good look at it?" Finn asked, not looking back as he breathed.

"When you said 'brand', l thought you meant like, a brand, a product." Soth said, trying not to stare.

"Nope, not so lucky, once they're done with us, we're just kinda spat out, with only this as a reminder. Usually, it's enough; if the guy has enough brains left, they can parlay their experience into something else to pay their way through life." Finn answered.

Finn switched to shadow boxing; he was doubtless a fair boxer, he would have to be, to defend himself...just in case...

"I didn't think it would be this easy; you might've noticed I'm kinda new at this." Soth answered, grinning and mock punching back.

Finn grinned back, moving closer to half-spar with Soth, "Yeah, kinda; but this opportunity..."

"I should really show you the map: the size of this place, Finn, you have to see it to really know the scale of what they've found." Soth said, holding his hands out and up for Finn to target.

"I should get the gloves for you..." Finn offered.

"Nah... I'm good... actually..." without a thought, Soth pulled his shirt off, then put his hands back up.

"Getting real now?" Finn asked.

"Maybe do a two and three; cross to the hands, then chest and gut shot..." Soth suggested.

"Wha??..I'm not going to..." then Finn remembered who..what he was actually sparring with...

"Really?"

Soth simply nodded, "I feel more comfortable discussing thoughts and plans this way anyway, by the way, who taught you?"

"That obvious, huh? My dad at first, then the best money could buy." Finn answered, taking Soth's suggestion and varying the punches.

Finn varied the combo; one punch to each hand, then two body shots, chest and gut. He was thankful for the gloves; when his left fist made direct contact with the rune on Soth's chest it was like hitting solid iron, same with the abs. Finn's hands actually went numb for a second.

"Please tell me you were tensing." Finn said.

"Actually, I was trying to relax, believe me, if I'd tensed, it'd be worse, but look at it this way, at least you don't have to hold back, which you probably did once you got good." Soth said.

"Let me know if you want to do some kicks or shoulder throws." Soth continued.

"No room for that in here, sadly." Finn answered.

"Well...once we get going with this, maybe Rafe can cook something up. He still has all that Wild Man stuff, all the stages, they'd be great to train in." Soth said.

"Yeah; that way you can bounce my carcass off a bunch of different stuff!" Finn said, smiling.

"Actually, Rafe's setup..."

Soth's ComGem chimed..

"Speak of the... Wild Man..." Soth said as Finn actually grinned.

"He's out... I don't know how... but he's out." Rafe said, the concern in his voice obvious.

"Who's out, Rafe?" Soth asked.

"Kellon Trúgvandi; Miles really moved on the information we gave him, most of The League is under arrest, but Kellon, somehow, managed to wiggle out." Rafe said.

"That was quick," Soth said, impressed, "now what?"

"They all go to trial; from there, it's up to the Juries, of which, I'm sure there will be many." Rafe said.

"The League? Of Racial Purity? The Bigot Brigade?" Finn asked, still throwing punches at Soth's remaining upstretched hand.

"Never heard that one before; who...Finn? Ambrose? Fantastic Finn?" Rafe asked, his face in the Gem trying to lock onto Finn.

"I've been called worse, and you have a good memory, Mr. Wild Man." Finn said, actually stopping his 'assault' on Soth to smile into the Gem.

"Just Rafe now..."

"Just Finn for me: Soth here tells me you can make a weapon for me, when we finally get down there."

"Once I get a good look at ya, and once I get my first client squared away, I'll find a good fit for you."

"Thanks!"

Rafe turned his face back to Soth...

"Both of you, watch out for that little snake, if he has another one of those nerve burner things..."

"We'll both be careful; you too, you're in that truck by yourself now that Varko's gone." Soth answered.

Varko...

... Oh boy...

"Do you need me to pick you up?" Rafe asked.

"No, we're good, still some things to do and go over."

"Okay, I'll be back though, soon."

"Take your time, but don't take your time, okay?" Soth asked.

"Look forward to meeting you in person." Finn said.

Rafe smiled, "Bye!"

The link ended; Rafe paused in the truck, he had the window down, the warm breeze felt good. One thing he missed lately; simplicity, the ability to slow down and look around at the world around him. Then he remembered the price of having that freedom, being in a cage on display, even if it were "just an act".

Other things that weren't just "acts".

.... Should I call him?... Rafe thought.

He'd be back in Boreth by now; if any of his "friends" heard a ComGem go off, well, hopefully, all he would get would be some insults.

....No, let it get a little later, better to catch him in bed than out in a village where the slightest bit of hardware can get you ridiculed...or worse...

Rafe's hand hovered over the ComGem...

Still there, same as always... Varko thought.

... But am I?...

Varko went inside; so many memories, a lot of them good. No sign of Estill; either asleep or back to her own house actually in the village.

"She's at her house; she'll be back tomorrow morning, around noon."

The voice, male and well spoken, was familiar...

"I take it you haven't been brought up to date on current events?"

There... in the corner chair... the hood, the rune...

... The Assassin... Chaseour... Chase...

"Too bad you're not wired.. yet; I could turn on the wireless and fill in the blanks a little."

"You took quite a risk coming here like that."

Chase looked down, then back up, smiled and said, "Who said I came here 'this way', and even if I did, they'd never see it coming."

He's probably right... Varko thought.

"Anyway, I brought you something, something I think you'll like." Chase said, glancing down at the floor next to him.

It was then Varko noticed it; a large zippered bag, a duffel bag, on the floor next to Chase...

...and the bag was moving...

[luna-azzurra]

Ways to write Slow Burn Romance!!

┈୨୧┈ Give them reasons they CAN'T be together that aren't just manufactured drama. Not miscommunication. Not love triangles. Not arbitrary "I push people away" trauma with no real exploration. Give them REAL obstacles: they're on opposite sides of a conflict, timing is wrong, there are actual consequences to being together, they have incompatible life goals, there's a power imbalance they need to resolve first. The obstacles should be meaningful and require actual character growth to overcome, not just a conversation.

┈୨୧┈ Make the friendship foundation SO STRONG that readers ship them before the romance even starts. They should genuinely LIKE each other. They should have inside jokes. They should seek each other out just to hang out. They should trust each other. They should have fun together. When the romantic feelings start developing, it should feel like "oh no, I don't want to ruin this friendship" because the friendship is genuinely valuable. Readers should be able to believe they'd still choose to be in each other's lives even if romance never happened.

┈୨୧┈ Let the tension BUILD in layers over time. First they notice each other. Then they start seeking excuses to be near each other. Then they start getting jealous. Then they start having Moments. Then they start thinking about each other constantly. Then comes the almost-kisses. Then the accidental intimacy. Then the barely-hidden feelings. Each phase should have time to breathe before moving to the next level. Slow burn means SLOW - readers should be desperate for them to get together LONG before they actually do.

┈୨୧┈ Show how they change each other gradually. He starts smiling more because of her. She becomes braver because he believes in her. They adopt each other's habits and phrases. They start to see the world differently because of the other person's influence. Slow burn is about showing two people gradually becoming essential to each other's lives. They should be woven into each other's character development, not separate from it.

┈୨୧┈ Make the payoff WORTH the wait. After chapters or books of tension, the moment they finally get together should be EARNED and SATISFYING. A CONVERSATION where they're finally honest. A moment where they choose each other despite the obstacles. A confession that feels like a dam breaking. The first kiss should feel like the conclusion of a long journey and the beginning of something new. Readers have been waiting for this, so make it count. Make it feel like YES, THIS WAS WORTH IT.

[wolfythephoenix]

CyLou Being Cute [Ultimate Compalaition]

<Nilou> She stands up, in front of him. ,,Look, if she doesn't know about it now, what happens if something even worse would happen to you? Some day, she will face reality. And i think it's better to get her used to it step by step. And not hiding everything from her. And not just her. Tighnari and <Y/N> were worried sick. I spoke with them, while you were in a coma. I never ever saw either of them like that. Each of us thought that you'll die, and we didn't even knew what happened to you. All Tighnari told me that day was that...you left in a hurry after a carnage and not responded for almost a week!" When she notices his state, she kneels down to look at him. ,,Look, they deserve the whole truth. They don't need the General Mahamatra. They need Cyno. They need their friend. And if they will worry, that's because they care about you. WE care about you."

<Cyno> ,,Then...what do you think...? What should i do?" He asks slowly.

<Nilou> ,,Tell them the truth. Now. The whole truth. No more hiding. No more lies." He doesn't say anything, just nods as a respond. And that's all she needed, so she then stands back up, extending her hand towards Cyno.

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<Nilou> ,,Oh dear Lesser Lord... Are you okay?!" She asks with worry in her eyes.

<Cyno> ,,Yeah... Just being unlucky again." He then wipes the mud off. ,,Sorry for scaring you."

<Nilou> ,,You didn't scared me." She says smiling, while helping him up. ,,At least...not that much. But what are you doing here, you shouldn't be at Tighnari's place?"

<Cyno> ,,And i was. Just...thought of taking a walk. Just...clearing my head out. That's all."

He fakes a quick smile, but after seeing Nilou's worried expression, he drops it just as quick. For a while, neither of them says a word. Nilou gets an idea and while Cyno washes off the mud from his cloths, she gets back to the spot where she were dancing minutes earlier. A little dirt pile, where the water is just a few centimeters high. She then starts to sway slowly. Tho there's no music out in the nature, it is in her head. The one that plays at every single Sabzeruz Festival. Cyno can't help but admire her from a few steps away. Well, not for too long, because Nilou extends her hand towards him to take it. And...with some hesitation, he does. She pulls him a bit closer, on the dirt pile and changes her moves to ones that doesn't involve much turning around. She can feel and see Cyno's confusion. He misses almost every step.

<Nilou> ,,I often dance to...get myself relaxed. It might help you too a bit." She says playfully.

<Cyno> ,,I'm not much of a dancer, you know that." He says with completely tomato-red face, looking down to his feet. ,,I'm a fighter. Fighting with claws and...cards in my free time." He continues. Both of them then stops.

<Nilou> ,,What's on your mind? It doesn't help if you let it bottled up."

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She slowly starts to let Cyno's hand go, but he slightly strengthens the grip, signaling not to let go.

<Nilou> ,,Look, you have always helped everyone around you. Just...let your close ones help you out too. It's not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of caring." She slowly walks next to him, and with that, her reflection also shows in the water.

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<Nilou> ,,I'm so glad that it got thru your thick skull." She says it playfully, gently taping on Cyno's forehead. But then gasps slightly from surprise. ,,Cyno, your forehead's burning!" 

<Cyno> ,,So is your hand!" He holds said hand up. Well, the one that still holds his.

For a split second, they both turn red like a tomato, letting go each other's hands in embarrassment.

<Nilou> ,,A-a-anyway! I think...we might go get home... It's pretty late... I mean...now it's early in the morning!" She stutters it out swiftly. ,,I'm glad that i could help! See you...some day!" Then she runs off home. 

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<Cyno> ,,What's that grin for?" He says both embarrassed and, at least trying to be, jokingly.

She then, not being able to hold it back, bursts out in laughter. It's like hearing little chimes in harmony. Just a soft, pure, angelic laughter, to which the General just cracks a half smile. It's good to see her smile, or laugh. Especially after the last 3-4 week's events.

<Nilou> ,,S-sorry for laughing..." She finally says, while trying to calm her laughter down.

<Cyno> ,,Don't be." He stops for a few seconds, like he's thinking about the wording of his sentences. ,,Glad to see you happy." Finally says it slowly, barely above a whisper. Just...embarrassed to admit it.

Turns out, Nilou actually heard it, but just smiles innocently, pretending she didn't hear anything from the last part. She then, with the same ,bright as the Sun itself, smile, walks...well, almost dances, back to the spot, she were originally laying, motioning the General to follow her. And so he does. With the same half smile from earlier, present on his face.

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When she gets back, she sees that...Cyno actually fell asleep. Wow. He's either a very fast sleeper, or he really was that tired, just didn't wanted to show. Either was, as she looks at him, he seems so at peace, at least now, compared to just days earlier, as he just lays there, right lower arm across his face, since the shades had moved away by now, due to the Sun's position's changing, and his left, glove covered arm rests on his stomach. It seems like, even the wind tries to be gentle as it plays with his hair.

As she gets closer, back to her original spot, she can even her a muffled snuffle coming from him. So he really IS deep into dreamland. Than she won't bother him, rather, she starts to make the flower crown.

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As his eyelids starting to get heavy again, he takes the risk of closing them. He feels that, Nilou...either just playing with his hair, or tucking it away from his eyes.

Then... the Sandman of dreams once again starts to slowly pull him away into another world...

Then...Nilou's familiar voice... It's like...she's...humming...?

<Cyno> ,,Familiar...tune..." He says half asleep, with closed eyes.

<Nilou> ,,My mom used to sing it for me, whenever i had nightmares." She says with the same warm, friendly, reassuring smile as always. ,,I can't sing...but i can at least hum." She shrugs playfully, then continuing the song.

<Cyno> ,,You've got...wondr...ful...parents..." He already dozed off by the end of his half-baked sentence.

This time, the feared nightmares didn't come to torment him. After 2 weeks of coma, that contained the same kind of horrible after horrible nightmares, it's the first time for him to actually rest peacefully.

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And as his thought swirling around his mind like this, and his body just put itself to auto-pilot mode, he doesn't even notices that they're now in a secluded area of the stage. Not the backstage, just out in the open, but in a quieter corner of it.

Tighnari made him sit on the edge of the stage's platform, since he noticed the General's alarmingly long zone-out. And by ,,long zone-out", at least 20 minutes of conversation and 10 minutes of walking around he had missed. And being friends for, one could say for a lifetime, he knows that this isn't normal hor his friend. Maybe a minute or two zoning out… but not half an hour! He doesn't even notice it as Nilou sat down next to him, and Collei braiding together their hair…for reasons, it seems only she knows. Secretly taking a picture of it, too, so when she has to undo it, she'll still have a photo of it.

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<Cyno> ,,It IS my fault." He then takes a deep breath. Trying to calm himself down. ,, I killed a young child's father, now said child not only resents anything connected to me, or the Matra, but wants to take revenge on me, by endangering EVERYONE i care for! You guys! Sumeru! My colleagues!" He just walks back and forth in circles from anxiety. ,,Back then, i couldn't hold on to my senses and now, once again almost all of Sumeru is in danger! If that rascal wants to take revenge on me, that's fine by me! But don't take out on you all!"

<Nilou> ,,No, he couldn't hurt you either !" She interrupts him, taking both of his hands into hers, both to stop him, and to…try to calm him down, as he now almost started to actualy shout. ,,There's really no other way to solve this? One that doesn't involve hurting anyone?" She looks deeply in his eyes, as to trying to find answers in them. But she finds…none. Only regret, anger and pure terror. Then, he just slowly looks down to his feet.

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They need him!

They need him!

THEY. NEED. HIM!

<Cyno> ,,Na…riii…!" He somehow manages to squeeze it out. His voice desparate, raspy from both the coughings and the lack of speaking for…he doesn't even know how long. ,,…a…rii… -on't… L…eave…" He tries to be louder, but his intended shouts came out as quiet, raspy whispers.

Of course, the minute he finds a way to connect with the outside world, he's alone once again! Of course! And Kaveh says that he's unfortunate! And now even one of the machines starts to beep again! Then, as he coughs from the sudden actions, he hears the door opening. Than closing. Then…footsteps.

<Nilou> ,,Take it easy… Slow down…" She swiftly gets next to his bed, lifting him a bit up, as he once again started to cough up blood. Tho now it's not as much as last time. But it's still not normal. ,,I'm here… I'm here…" She says quietly, gently helping him with that coughing fit.

<Cyno> ,,N…Nilou…?" He just sways left and right. Not really having the strength to hold himself upright.

<Nilou> ,,Yes… I'm here… Don't worry…" Then, her face flushes red, as she feels him resting on her side. ,,I-i heard… You called for Tighnari… He and Collei…left around…2 hours ago…" She stutters from shyness.

.

.

.

After some time, a nurse slowly opens the door, to tell Nilou, she should go. But when seeing, as thier feared General just…appearantly sleeps on her shoulder, with her watching over him, she starts to hesitate. Especialy after seeing his vital signs on the machines. They're…finaly more stable. Tho still well within the danger zone, but more stable than it was. So, she decides not to disturb them, and slowly, silently closes the door.

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<Nilou> She slowly sits next to him, as there's plenty of room on that rock, even for three people. ,,You'll get sick if you stay out here…" She's still holding the umbrella over him, well, now over both of them. ,,Hey…" She tries to get his attention by sliding some of his hair strands away from his eyes.

And it's then that Cyno's got any reaction. Like snapping out of a trance, he jolts up from the sudden touch, loosing his balance, and almost gets knocked back into the muddy ground behind them, but…something-

Oh…

SomeONE…caught him.

<Nilou> ,,I'm so sorry! Didn't wanted to scare you!"

<Cyno> ,,N-Nilou?!" His eyes widens at the realization, and quickly fixes his posture back as it was. ,,What…what are you doing here?" He tries to hide his stutter with clearing his throat, while fidgeting with the rim of his shirt, pretending to just fixing it.

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<Cyno> Another deep breath, to prepare himself. ,,First of all…what do you know about that thing that's called…love…?" He slowly looks up a bit, both to analyze her reaction and to show her, that he's still listening.

Her jaw drops in her head. He couldn't be more awkward, even if he tried to. Well, this is a new side of the General, she thinks. From the corner of her eye, Nilou can also see his hand tensing up, with his fingers curling inwards, twitching violently. She can't even put together what she sees. His overall posture shows sadness. His expression screams that he's flustered, but at the same time, the twitching of his hand indicates anxiousness. He's a mess, and she doesn't get it why. And why is this sudden question? What if he-… No. She can't overthink it. Answering his question is enough.

And so, she collects herself and explains it, while looking a bit away, but still stealing glaces at him. And…she's surprised to see Cyno's face changing more and more into…fear…?

<Cyno> ,,The same things Tighnari told me…" He murmurs. ,,This isn't good." He hides his face with his hand once again, stepping back a bit.

<Nilou> ,,Wha- What do you mean?" She just blinks in confusion. ,,What's not good in this?"

<Cyno> He once again turns around, sliding away his hair with his palm. ,,Because i DO feel these things!" He almost shouts it out, with a cracked voice. Then…realization hits him, and with great fear, turns a bit to face Nilou. She's just as tomato red as he is.

<Nilou> ,,But…me too…isn't it a good thing…?"

<Cyno> ,,Noo! If i love you, how could i even protect you?!" He now actually shouts it out in fear.

Realizing what he just said, that he basically confessed, with shaking hands, he uncontrollably lowers himself down on the ground, not even caring about the mud.

<Cyno> ,,Oh no… No no no no!" He's once again holding his face with still shaking hands. ,,I fucked it up."

<Nilou> ,,What do you mean…?" She can feel tears stinging the corners of her eyes, as she unconsciously lets go of her umbrella, letting it land right behind her.

<Cyno> ,,Everyone i care for…ending up getting hurt! Just look at Nari! He almost died because of me! 20 Matra got severely injured, and 10 died because of me! Karuga, the kid who found us, got bullied because of me!" He's motioning with his hand in the air. ,,If i had severed the ties with you, maybe i could've shielded you from that fate! But i fucked it up, like i always do!" He can feel and hear his voice shake, along with his hands, from nervousness.

The world seems to stop around them. She can feel the knot leaving her throat, like a huge rock lifter from her shoulders. Altho instead, now her heart starts to beat so rapidly, like it wants to break out from her rib-cage. She then steps in front of him, and slowly, carefully pulls him back up. And she's releaved to feel that…she's once again struggling to do so.

<Nilou> ,,You've got some…weird ways of protecting…" She, without really thinking with her brain, slowly puts their foreheads together. She doesn't know why…it's like her heart took control over her body. Altho it is a good thing, 'cause if her brain were in control…she would just run away from embarrassment.

<Cyno> ,,Are you…sure about this…?" He whispers, hands still shaking, as he uncertainly holds her on the side.

<Nilou> ,,I'm fully confident in it."

He ponders on it for a while. Is this even a good idea? What if his judgment had failed him once again? What if…he's really putting her in more danger? Altho…there's no turning back now. He had already confessed. And…he isn't known for backing out. Tho this principal of his is mostly applies to his missions, it is true to this situation too.

<Cyno> ,,Then…can you…close your eyes please…" , 'cause otherwise…I'm sure would explode from embarrassment, like a grenade' He adds it in his mind.

And with a little nod, she closes them. He then, hesitantly, but slowly kisses her. It's not the most perfect kind of kiss…i mean, outside of seeing some brief moments from soap opera types of shows, he hasn't got any experience in this. But despite his disadvantages, it turned out better than he expected.

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Both of them falls silent. Only Nilou's heartbreaking sobs can be heard, as Cyno tries his best to ease her pain, holding her close, as their similarly fast heart beats align with each other. Otherwise he's got no idea what to do, and just relies on his instincts. Altho now that he thinks about it…he can still remember, when Nilou mentioned that dancing relaxes her. That seems to be a…decent idea.

So, he slowly lets go of her, but still holds one of her hand, slightly pulling her to follow him. They get under a large mushroom hat, where the ground was shielded away from the rain, so it's not slippery.

<Cyno> ,,How was it…?" He asks, but more like a rhetorical question. Then, he starts his…bad excuse of a…,dance'. He purposefully misses almost every step, to lure her in. Altho he doesn't need to pretend that much, since he really can't dance at all. Well, he's already made a fool of himself anyways.

<Nilou> She lets out a little, light chuckle, shaking her head. ,,Why are you so stiff…" Then she gently starts to aid his moves, guiding him with every step. Not even realizing that Cyno just slowly lets her take the lead.

With her guidance, they start with easier, small steps, modifying the original Dance Of Sabzeruz a bit, as even tho it comes natural to Nilou and her elegant, graceful movements can capture it perfectly, it wouldn't be the best idea in this situation. On one hand, that dance only requires one individual, and currently they're dancing in pair. And on the other hand, it would be weird for Cyno to dance with those obviously feminine moves. She knows, both Tighnari and Alhaytham likes to tease him, but she doesn't want to, even if it's just friendly joking, it's just not her style.

Her style is…

Well…

Dance, of course! Dance, to your heart's content, washing the sadness away, until nothing left but joy. It always helps her to put her thoughts at ease. Just as it helps her right now. Right now, instead of dwelling on the grim past, the red blood, all the people who lost, or almost lost their lives, all that is in her mind is the dance moves.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One step forward.

One step backward.

Like they're waltzing in a ball. With the mushroom forest around them being the ballroom, the white moon and tinkling stars above the chandelier, and the little forest folks above or in the grass and the shallow pond as the other guests. Right here, right now nothing else matters, only their slow dance, that from clumsy, uncertain moves, became an almost perfect, harmonized one. Splatters of blood became red hair strands flowing gracefully in the air as Nilou twirls around. It clashes with her lazurite gemstone-like eyes perfectly. Just as his ruby-like ones with his ghostly white hair. He doesn't even dare to look at her in the eye for more that a glance, as if he would hurt her if he does.

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<Nilou> ,,For not being the dancing type, you're a really fast learner. This took me weeks to be able to grasp, and you've almost perfected it in just a few steps." The gentle smile is audible from her.

<Cyno> ,,Well, I've got an excellent teacher." He doesn't even dare to fully look at her, just glancing over, with his hair obscuring half of his vision.

To this sudden compliment, especially from him, Nilou hides her face. Altho, after a little bit of embarrassment induced silence, she takes her hands off. There's still a question that bugs her quiet a bit.

<Nilou> ,,By the way…for how long you've had the suspicion? I mean…it's not something that develops overnight. At least…not normally."

<Cyno> He doesn't reply instantly, first he thinks it thru. ,,Well…i think…about 5-6 months." And now he's the one who doesn't dare to look at the other's direction.

<Nilou> ,,5-6 months?!" Her voice raises unintentionally from the revelation and sits up. ,,Wait, so that means- Well before the incident! Before BOTH of the incidents!" She pauses a bit as she slowly connects the dots. ,,So that means…in the hospital…" She mumbles the last part. Just thinking too loudly.

<Cyno> ,,What happened in the hospital?" He also sits up. ,,I have no recollection outside of one scheduled visit from Haytham."

<Nilou> ,,Erm- Ehm- I said nothing!" She waves her hands frantically, getting all red.

<Cyno> Sigh. ,,That means it was something stupid…" He also hides his face from embarrassment and frustration.

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<Nilou> ,,Tell me, what do you hear?" She had already let go of his hand.

<Cyno> He takes a few seconds to make out finer sounds. And as he does, he's now able to hear and smell it. ,,Water?" He asks, with confusion evident in his tone.

<Nilou> ,,Good. Now, take the blindfold off."

So he does just that. And as he gets it off, a small, but beautiful oasis reveals itself in front of him, and Nilou next to him, radiating nothing but joy.

<Nilou> ,,Now look up, what do you see?"

<Cyno> ,,The sky…?"

<Nilou> ,,Aaand?"

<Cyno> ,,Ehm…The stars?"

To his replies, she just shakes her head.

<Nilou> ,,The same sky, we were just stargazing last week under." She then steps at the edge of the water. ,,You keep telling that you and your homeland are tied to death and destruction." She turns around to face the water. ,,The dry and hot desert. And yet, look. Life still finds it's way to let itself known."

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<Nilou> ,,You keep connecting sand to death. The end of an era. The forever remaining force, that keeps long gone civilizations hidden away from praying eyes."

The sand grains keep seeping from his grasp, before Nilou with a gentle wave of her hand, adds Hydro onto it, causing the grains to turn into mud, as they soak up the moisture.

<Nilou> ,,People also connect water to life. A life saving water source in the never-ending waves of sand. Being the very thing people need to survive. " She looks down on the mud in Cyno's hand. ,,But when the two collides, it creates mud. Which then can be used for pottery, or in some instances, building houses. Homes, of which walls then shield away lives."

Then, with another wave of her hand, she washes away the mud stain.

<Nilou> ,,The tragedy of death leaves a nasty stain. But with time, life goes on, opening the door for other life stories. Where there's life, death is also inevitable. And within the shadows of death, there's always life."

She then looks up to the sky, that's sprinkled with white stars, soft purple and light blue dusting it's gigantic canvas above.

<Nilou> ,,The rainforest, the miracle of life itself. The desert, the grim reaper of death. And yet, we're under the same blanket of sky. Life and death isn't really two separate forces, rather a harmony of force. Always side by side, even when everything seems like chaos."

She just keeps looking up at the breathtaking sky, smiling softly, while Cyno stays silent. Looking down on the ground, as his mind pieces the puzzle together. For a moment, he tenses up. Curling his fingers inwards, clenching his jaw tight. Then…taking a slow, uncertain step toward her.

<Cyno> ,,N-Nilou…?" He whispers between his teeth.

To which Nilou can't react at all, as to her shock…he suddenly hugs her so tight, it's alarming. Like something's wrong. And although this is his only response… It's all she needs to know, the message got thru to him.

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<Tighnari> ,,Oh, is it who i think it is?" He lightly elbows Cyno on the side to catch his attention too.

<Cyno> ,,Hm?" He first looks at his friend, then quickly at Nilou. ,,N-Nilou?"

His demeanor changes in the fraction of a second. Previously almost unnoticeably hunched posture straightening up, dreamless eyes lit up slightly. Not at all in an intent to conceal his tiredness, rather in excitement.

<Nilou> ,,Hi guys!" She greets them with a shining bright smile, that is so heartwarming to see.

However, Cyno can clearly see how she restrains herself. How her hands want to reach out, but she forcefully tensing them up.

How she stays a few steps apart from them, just like she's used to do when they were still at the stage of being friends. He's got a hunch that it got out anyways, so to show her that it's okay, he spreads his arms as a signal.

And it only takes Nilou a moment to get the hint and gladly accept the invitation. She snuggles close, as Cyno cages her into a strong, protective grip. However, as he gently strokes her head,she can feel the different texture on his hand. Taking his hand off to observe it, her suspicion is proven true. It's bandaged up. Again.

<Cyno> ,,It's not from battle." He starts, trying to save some face, but he's also just so embarrassed of it. ,,Let's just say…it got out."

<Nilou> ,,Like, this…thing…" She points her fingers to him and herself, to which Cyno just nods.

<Cyno> ,,One of my subordinates was right next to me, sipping hot coffee, while i had to break it to the other. Aaand…you can guess the rest." He finishes, voice low, as he breaths out a defeated sigh.

<Nilou> ,,Don't tell me they had the nerve to do something like that!" She lets out a little laugh, envisioning the scene.

<Cyno> ,,I mean…it's better than shooting at my direction like a bunch of idiots." He just says it so calmly, just shrugging it off like a joke.

<Nilou> ,,That is something…only you would say like it's nothing." Hands on her hips, cheeks puffed up, she just shakes her head. But her hands drop beside her in an instant, after realizing- ,,Wait, so that means-" Cyno only nods. ,,But…is it okay with you?"

<Cyno> ,,Judging by those two, " He glances at Nilou's coworkers for a moment, arms crossed against his chest. ,,it's already out on your end too."

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<Nilou> ,,Why would you call your home…a cage?" The gentle care in her voice softens Cyno's previously empty face.

<Cyno> ,,Because this isn't really my home." He just shrugs. ,,My home is wherever you guys are. It is not confined to one place."

His last sentences causes Nilou's heart to squeeze tight. Despite it's wholesome implications…it somehow sounded so sad… I mean, even if it's true that that's how he thinks of it…who would call their own home a cage? Looking at him, she's once again unable to read any emotions off of him, other than tiredness. But even despite that, she can still put the pieces together…

He still thinks of himself as a monster.

…

She can't feel herself taking a step towards him.

…

But…he's not a monster.

…

Neither the next steps.

…

Never was a monster.

…

Nor her last step, as she's now right in front of him.

She can only register her hands gently wrapping themselves around him into a hug. Then his ever so strong, almost clinging grip around her, pulling her in into a smaller, but all the more comforting cage. One that is actually feeling like comfort. Like protection.

Like home.

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Once more, for a while silence is shared between them. But now, it's a more comfortable one, with the heavy rain now, instead of anxious static, plays nature's quiet lullaby for them. Nilou is just looking out the window, completely zoned out, while playing with Cyno's strands of hair, that are falling onto his face, as he's hunched over the table, face buried into the nest of his folded arms. She'd read on the bottle that one of the side effects is sleepiness, tho to be honest, he was already tired anyways. But…he can't possibly sleep like this, hunched over the table. And also…

<Nilou> ,,It seems the rain won't stop any time soon…" She states softly, almost whispering.

<Cyno> ,,Mmmh…?" He tilts his head towards the window, eyes half closed. ,,Hmh…" Seemingly pondering for a bit, he then stretches and starts to head to the couch sleepily.

<Nilou> ,,Huh? Wait, where are you-"

<Cyno> ,,You can stay…if you want to…"

<Nilou> ,,You can't be serious that you'll sleep on the couch, in your own home."

<Cyno> ,,Frequent nightmares. Claws." He holds up first one, then two fingers. ,,Don't want…to hurt you…"

Her throat closes up, both from what he said, and from what she's about to imply. Red flushing her face all over again as she takes his hand, looking in his half closed-half open eyes softly, but also deep down, nervously.

<Nilou> ,,Last time my presence…somewhat helped…" She tries to swallow her nervousness. With no success. ,,Besides… I- i just…can't bring myself to…let you be alone, when clearly hurt."

They both just stare at each other for a while, with Nilou being on guard, not to let Cyno fall over, as he seems to be in some sort of a daze. Probably from exhausting himself to the limits, and from the strong medicine finally kicking in. He seems so exhausted even, that instead of protesting further, he just nods meekly, before they go in the bedroom, with Nilou supporting Cyno's wobbly steps.

As they slide in, Cyno purposefully chooses to be on the inner side, to face the wall. Nilou doesn't question it, as she already knows his reasoning for it. All she does, is facing towards him, so if anything will happen, she can notice it quicker. She can even feel as he slightly crosses his foot with hers, as if trying to make sure to feel her presence.

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<Nilou> ,,Cy, wake up…" She whispers softly, while gently shaking him up. But he doesn't respond.

It takes a few more callings for him to wake up finally, gasping as if he was under water, swiftly pulling his claws back, while instinctively averting his arm, to shield his eyes from the lamp's light, and also to shield himself from danger. He's still gasping and swallowing air way too fast, shaking, which makes Nilou's heart ache. This time it seems, the nightmare was even worse.

<Nilou> ,,It's okay, I'm here… It's okay…" She repeats, while gently taking his hands into her own. ,,You have to calm down… Breathe with me, okay?" She can still feel his hands shaking so strongly, as if he wants to break free. But he's not. ,,Take a deep breath in, thru the nose. Hold it… 1… 2… 3… On 4, out the mouth." She waits between each instruction for him to follow them. And he does follow them. ,,Good, you're doing good. In, 1 2 3, out on 4." She also follows her own instructions.

And with each repeat, he slowly but surely, calms down significantly. Still shaken up, but at least not panicking as much as earlier. Nilou can still feel his hands shake in her own, his expression holding nothing but terror, but it slowly starting to melt away, as he starts to lift his hand towards Nilou, as she's hovering a bit over him. She lets go of his hands, using one of her hand to support herself more, and keeping the other one on Cyno's, as he gently glides his fingertips across the side of her face. And as she holds that hand in it's place, leaning into the touch slightly, she can see his expression melting, first into calmness, then into a soft fondness. Which is something she had never seen from him before, but all the more happy to witness it. Although sadly, it did not last long, as it shifts into embarrassment rather quickly, then into his usual coldness even quicker. So quick, it feels…and seems forced. Like he caught himself being too vulnerable.

<Nilou> ,,Right… Good night." She whispers softly.

.

.

.

<Cyno> ,,Good night." Another unnaturally fast reply.

Although as they drift into sleep, after some time, she can feel a shift from Cyno, then feel as he decides to snuggle up cautiously. Seemingly even waited for her to fall asleep, as if he doesn't want her to know about it. And so, she pretends that she didn't felt that shift, knowing that otherwise, he would back away again. In the morning, she'll speak to him about both the scars, and this. But right now, he has to rest, as he clearly haven't gave himself the sleep he desperately needed.

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<Cyno> ,,But…how could i protect you, if I'm scarred and weak? Maybe not weak in a physical sense, thanks to this power, but still…" He hesitates for some time, but- ,,A General Mahamatra should not be rendered to a crybaby, whenever a simple nightmare occurs."

From his internal pain, he slams his fist onto the table, causing the plates to clank against the wooden surface.

<Nilou> ,,Don't say that…" She gently unfolds his fist, to entangle their hands. ,,You are not weak in any capacity. Fearful reactions to nightmares are to be expected. The more gruesome the nightmare, the stronger the reaction."

She pauses for a bit, feeling his quick pulse with her fingers slightly against his wrist, and shaking hand. He's clearly stressed out, and he tries to hide it. But it doesn't work. One can't hide away the natural functions of the human body.

<Nilou> ,,Not to mention…nightmares aren't only caused by fear. Stress can also either create them, or amplify the existing ones. And don't you dare to say, you're not stressed!"

With her last sentence, she looks at him with a playful pout, poking him on the nose with her free hand. It certainly lifted the mood a bit, even garnered a little momental half smile from him.

<Cyno> ,,Well…" His voice now a bit more uplifting. Not much, but it's a good start. ,,I already accepted double shifts for the next week, which I'm unable to reject now." He sighs a bit. ,,But after that…I'll try to take a day off, if there won't be too much chaos." He tries to reassure her with a smile.

<Nilou> ,,Like you did after the Festival?" She pokes back at him with her words.

<Cyno> ,,Hey, that wasn't entirely on me!" In playful defense, he lifts both his arms up, slipping his hand out from Nilou's. ,,Asfand wanted me personally to train the rookies about the Marana, since I'm the most experienced with it from the Matra!"

<Nilou> ,,But you still looked so out of it, like you were on an actual mission."

<Cyno> ,,Because they're a bunch of idiots." Seeing her confusion, he corrects himself. ,,I usually won't trash talk on them, as they're still adjusting to the system. But imagine more than 20 fresh out of Akademiya students, whining for weeks straight to make the trainings easier. Meanwhile…" He just sighs in disbelief. ,,You know what dangers the Matra faces on a day to day basis. Dangers, that either leave you with permanent scars, or dead."

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<Nilou> ,,And that's my other point." She takes the opening with gentle words. ,,The scars. Cy, i can clearly see that you think of the physical scars too, as weakness. But they're anything, but."

She first gently takes his arm, rotating it slightly, to glide her finger across the healed scar of what once was a gaping tear of flesh from the Spinocrocodile attack.

<Nilou> ,,Scars are a forever remaining carving of what you've been thru. Of what you've survived, and came back victorious."

Then, she gently puts her finger at the spot, where his close to heart injury lies, beneath his shirt.

<Nilou> ,,And a reminder of the mistakes you've made, and corrected." She then takes his hands once again. ,,Don't be ashamed of said mistakes. They are part of human nature. And no amount of mistakes or scars will change neither Tighnari's, nor my love towards you."

She can see as his eyes slowly gathering tears at her last sentence, as he tries not to blink as much, so they won't roll down. But it's no use, as they roll down anyways, while Nilou lets go of his hand, to wipe them off.

<Nilou> ,,I only ask one thing from you. Rest, when you need it. Just as physical injuries need medical care, mental scars need rest, to be able to heal. Just…let yourself rest."

Once she finishes her speech…Cyno is unable to form any words as a response, only looking at her, with a bittersweet expression. And as Nilou just looks at him, she's completely unaware of how he slowly gets up, to silently walk next to her seat, to then embrace her in a strong, protective grip. Only loosening when sensing that Nilou wants to stand up, to reciprocate the gesture. But tightening it soon after.

<Cyno> ,,I'll…try my best, to change this habit." He murmurs it against her red locks covered neck.

To which she only sighs in relief. This is the answer she'd like to hear. For himself, as this behavior affects him the most. And in the most damaging way possible.

And as they stay like this for a few minutes, Nilou spots something breathtaking from the corner of her eye. Prompting her to glance out the window.

<Nilou> ,,Look!" Now her full attention is towards the outside view.

And for good reason. As Cyno too, turns his head towards the window, a freshly formed, faint, but still visible rainbow comes into view.

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<Cyno> ,,Hey guys! I'm-" He starts to announce his arrival, voice still a bit faint. But can't even finish his sentence, before the boy almost tackles him. ,,Whoa- careful!" With one hand, he strokes the boy's head lightly.

That's something…he will probably never get used to. It does not annoy him by any mean…but feels rather strange. Especially with the complexity of their situation.

<Tighnari> ,,So you're actually sick again as i hear." Is his form of greeting. Not that he's actually mad, or anything.

<Cyno> ,,Nope." The answer comes out a bit scratchy, so he clears his throat. ,,Just had to yell with the newbies way too much."

Though he wasn't exactly lying, and Tighnari seems to be satisfied with the answer, he's been feeling a bit under the weather. But that's not a big deal, nothing that a good time spent with friends wouldn't help with. And as Nilou approaches him, and he invites her into a small embrace, that prior stress was all worth it. It's always worth it, if it means keeping them all safe.

<Nilou> ,,Still, at least…try to take care of yourself…" Her soft, concerned whisper gets muffled by his jacket.

The comment ignites great level of guilt within the General. Remembering back how sad Nilou looked, witnessing his living conditions. His dark mind. And the…night terror. He doesn't want her to feel sad. Especially not because of him. That's not what a good partner does.

As a silent apology, he softly pulls Nilou a bit closer, one hand resting on the back of her head.

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But as the 7 PM mark arrives, they start to get ready to leave. Tighnari's home isn't that far, but he still have to walk back to the Grand Bazaar's parking lot for his motorcycle. Plus, since Rashmu ended up in a food coma, he now also have to carry him. Not that he minds it though.

And after thinking Cyrus and reassuring him one last time that now he's okay, they head back to the parking lot first. Rashmu in Cyno's arms, and the nightmare journal temporarily in Nilou's hand. Normally he wouldn't let anyone even near that notebook, but he trusts in her fully to know, she won't snoop into it, unless it's a dire situation, or she's given permission.

<Cyno> ,, Who's the lazyhead now, hm?" Looks down at the boy in his arms.

He knows he can't hear it, but some bubbled up childish urge didn't want to let it slide.

And as they walk back to where he parked his vehicle…it's almost as if a perfectly normal couple is walking home from a family event, with their child tired out.

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<Nilou> ,,Hi Cy!" She waves into the camera, trying to appear as cheerful as she could.

However, his camera isn't turned on. Already a bad sign. For a few moments, all she could hear is muffled breathing. Alarmingly rapid breathing, that it sounds like he tries to either cover up, or ease a bit. It takes a few more moments for him to speak up finally.

<Cyno> ,,Hi… N-Nilou…" Voice low, the panic seeping in is crystal clear.

<Nilou> ,,Cy, what's wrong? Is the investi-"

<Cyno> ,,J-just… Wanted to talk…" His voice trailing off. He hates to cut her off, but the last thing he wants to hear is what she was about to ask. ,,Please…?" Tried his best to prevent it, but with a crack in his voice, a sob also escapes like a little squeek.

Slowly, as Nilou collects her heart that sunk to the deepest pit of her stomach, she tries to stay calm, talkative, but also keeping her voice a bit lower. She slowly tells sweet, or fun stories about the Grand Bazaar and Zubayr Theater. Of a puppy always sneaking food away from vendors. Of a stubborn weed that keeps growing back at the corner of the stone stairs leading up to the stage. Harmless little stories, to keep her lover's mind from spirling. She knows it's not much, and she DOES plan to do more, but for that, he needs to be in a bit better space of mind.

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<Nilou> ,,Any better…?" She asks in a soft, almost lulling voice, after finishing her little story about the unruly kids at the Bazaar. To which, she gets a quiet hum as a response. ,,Okay, i'll be there in 10 minutes, just unlock the door when you hear knocking. Also, don't hang up please." Some worry still sneaks its way to her voice, but it's not that noticable thankfully.

And as promised, Nilou arrives right in 10 minutes, as Cyno can hear the faint knock on the door. The only reason he was able to hear it, is that he already awaited her in the kitchen area, much closer to the door. Unlocking the door, neither of them asks or says anything, only Cyno moves slowly, seemingly painfully even, to hug Nilou close.

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With Nilou's help, he prompts Cyno up. As a reflex from the pain though, he stumbles a bit, hunching over, mumbling some curses between hisses. Normally, Tighnari would smack him for it, but knowing how strong this feeling can be, he lets it slide this time. And as they arrive at the bedside, he immidietly flops down, as if there's a magnetic pull on the bed.

<Tighnari> ,,H-hey, don't go to sleep yet!" Physically forces him to sit up. ,,First the meds, then sleep."

With that, he disappears back to the kitchen for a moment for a glass of water, then pulling a sheet of the meds out of his pocket. Giving first the water, than the meds to him. And seeing the 3 pills, instead of the regular 2, Nilou gets more worried. Tho, thankfully, at least now that he took them, the pain will settle down. However, as he tries to place the glass on the nightstand, he only manages to scrape the edge of it, before the cup slips drown on the floor. Cyno genuelly thought he's placing it ON the nightstand, and the momentum of the effort almost causes him too, to descend towards it. But gets caught by Nilou in time.

<Tighnari> Second facepalm of his own stupidity in one night. ,,Careful of the shards!"

Once again, he disappears, now to find the broom, and swipes up the shards carefully. Thanks to his outstanding sight, he's able to gather up all the tiniest of pieces of glass. Nilou in the meantime decides to carefully get around the shards, and sit on the bed with Cyno.

.

.

.

Nilou just stays put next to him. drawing small cirkles on Cyno's back, as he's now flopped down on the bed, curled up from the pain, but still deciding not to face the wall, but to face Nilou instead. Well, somewhat.

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Nilou then takes his hand that's on her face, keeping it there, as it gets warmed up by her.

He keeps staring at her, with now the gathered up tears flowing down. Then desparetly reaches out with his other hand, completly ignoring the pain in it, to hold onto her. But all he ends up achieving is that he loses his balance, and somehow Nilou is able to manuever them to just sit down on the bed.

Confused of what just happened, she looks around, finding Cyno desparetly clinging onto her, burying his head into her neck, where he can feel her pulse. Like that one ,,little", rapidly rising heartbeat sound is his last lifeline. Their upped body pulled on each other smoothly, and tightly, as her legs lightly hug him around on each side. They're infinitly close, causing her face to flush a pink hue for a bit. However, given the situation, instead of romance, her brain instantly clicks into worry. He clings onto her alarmingly tightly, fingertips almost scraping the fabric of her clothing. His breaths against her neck is heavy and uneven, as if he's trying to hold back sobs. Her heart is already sinking, but-

<Cyno> ,,A…are you…real…?" The red locks muffle his already weak voice, but she still heard it.

And it made her heart sink into unimaginable depths.

<Nilou> ,,Yes." Thankfully, despite her slight flusteredness, and creeping heartache, she sounds calm. Which is just what she needs to be right now. ,,Along with Tighnari and all the others. And they'll be visiting today too." She smiles lightly. She knows he can't see it. But surely can hear it.

However, for a while, she doesn't get any response, other than his hands slightly slipping lower. She can feel, it's because he still doesn't have much strength.

<Nilou> ,,Hey, you can't escape eating normal food by pretending to be asleep…" She nudges him lightly on the head, but all the response she gets is a tightening grip. At least with whatever strength he has left. ,,Are you awake?"

She finally gets an answer, as she can hear and feel the little groumble, muffled by her neck and hair. She heard that the seal repairing is a really painful and draining procedure. And that was on top of him exhausting himself beyond his limits; the prior stress and insane workload; and also the inevitable hangover from all that wine. Probably for an alcoholic, 2 bottles would've been just an apetizer, but she knows that Cyno haven't been drinking for a long time. In any case, he's clearly in pain, so he has to take some painkillers. And some food to take the meds with. Thankfully, even though he seems really sleepy, he's conscious, and that means she can coax him into eating. And so, she manages to get him to eat some bites of fruit, while clinging onto her with every remaining force within him. Then, she somehow manages to get him to take the painkillers. With those, within half an hour, the pain will settle down to a more lighter level. And while waiting out for its effect to work, they stay in the exact same position. Nilou combing the General's unkept, tangled-up hair, while Cyno just tries his best to stay awake. He can't fall asleep yet. That would only bring more nightmares. And he doesn't want that. He wants to stay in this…delusion, that she's here. That Nilou is here. And that Tighnari will be too.

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With a few coughs, whatever was in his stomach is now out. Even though it was practically nothing. Not yet fully digested bites of fruit, and stomach acid.

The world is spinning.

His head hurts badly.

Breathing hurts. Standing hurts. Just…

Living hurts.

He almost can't even register as his body succombs to gravity, slowly pulling him down.

He can feel his forehead hitting the corner of the sink's cabinet part, but…

He doesn't land on the cold stone floor. Instead, his head lands on something soft…and warm.

<Nilou> ,,Oh dear, what happened?!" She asks softly, but clearly worried, while struggling to sit him upright.

<Cyno> ,,You…back…" His whisper almost left unheard. His voice is hoarse. Throat burning.

<Nilou> ,,Yes, always will." She smiles at him a bit as a reassurance. ,,Just went to get a cup, but i guess, first let's leave your stomach to settle down a little."

She puts the cup on the sink cabinet, then grabs the comb and a hairtie from the edge of it.

<Nilou> ,,Also, if you don't mind, i'd try to untangle your white bush." Tries to lighten the mood with a faint chuckle. ,,If you feel dizzy, sit sideways to the cabinet. Tighnari and Haytham will be here in an hour." She even helps him turn around, seeing he's barely responsive.

And as she starts to comb his hair, only then she realizes how unkept it really is. It's still full of dirt and dried blood, and she finds traces of the strands being pulled on, or fully pulled out. She's sure that it hurts Cyno a lot, as he keeps flinching from time to time, but he's just out of it.

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With a few stray tears landing on her lover's face, all that remains is fondness between the two. It's a nicely warm night in Sumeru, but nothing can compete with the two broken hearts' reignited fire. Red means love once more, instead of blood and anger.

With no spoken words, he averts his hand to wipe away the tear remnants from Nilou's eyes. And to slightly play with the red strands cascading next to his face. As if twirling a delicate flower between his fingers.

Red means love.

Red means Nilou.

Red means…

Home.

At the silent recognition, Cyno's gaze shifts the slightest bit. Into an expression Nilou had never seen from him before, and is unable to put a name on it. But, he looks at peace. And that is all that matters for her. They can figure out the rest later. Just small steps is more than enough.

From the locks, he gently reaches up to the back of her head with one hand, and wrapping the other around her waist, pulling her down with affection. But also with creeping desparation, as the cruel images of his mind still ring out far too loud. She does let out a little surprised gasp, but does not oppose, rather letting herself fall softly, maneuvering them to be sideways.

<Nilou> ,,It's okay… Everyone is okay… Now rest well…" She whispers, while combing her fingers thru his tangled hair.

It takes a long while until the sobs and sniffs quiet down and he's lulled into a much deserved slumber by her soft whispers and hums. And once all that remains is snuffles of deep sleep, Nilou remains awake, staying alert, in case he'd have another nightmare.

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She also tries making him eat some bites. At least the dango they bought. But neither that, nor the few bites of stale crackers stay down.

At the very least, she noticed the small change ever since Gorou showed him that video. She senses that little spark, even if Cyno himself isn't sure how to reach it. And as they try to fall asleep, practically glued together, because of how cold he's been getting for the past few weeks, all Nilou can think of is their neglectful decision. She too, was part of that mistake. She could've asked Tighnari to give her the key. Cyno had been always by their side the moment he sensed anyone to be in danger. And…

…this is how they thank him for it?

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One more try…

Breathe in… Hold it… Happy thoughts… Breathe out…

His heart beating faster. Not good… It's not working…

One more try…

Breathe in… Hold it… Happy thoughts…

A light squeeze on his hand.

,I'm here. And i'm not going anywhere.'

…breathe out…

<Mizuki> ,,You two seem to be close." She comments in a hushed voice, while preparing another kind of insence.

<Nilou> ,,Yeah…" Is all she whisperes back, while watching over him with a fond, but still bittersweet smile.

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<Nilou> ,,Cy? Wake up, Cyno! Wake! Up!" She yells.

And as Mizuki gathers herself back up, she witnesses the aftermath of the exact nightmare she too, witnessed.

Once again, Cyno's claws are pointed right at his own neck, with Nilou trying to hold his arms back with everything in her. Thankfully, he snaps out of the trance fairly quickly. Pulling his claws back, desparetly clinging to Nilou. And hearing the muffled sobs, and hushed reassurances, Mizuki decides to give them some space before continuing.

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<Cyno> ,,Did i…ended up…hurting any of you…?" He asks, obviously absolutely drained.

No wonder. Mizuki is sure, if she would to experience those nightmares, even for one or two nights, she would likely go crazy.

<Mizuki> ,,No." She starts, stern, but caring. ,,But you DID wanted to hurt yourself. And i don't think this is the first time."

<Nilou> ,,It's…at least the 3rd time…" She adds, while snuggling herself close to him, as if fearing he'd disappear otherwise.

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However, as they walk to the door to slip into their shoes, something that should be outside the door, is now amiss.

<Nilou> ,,Hey, where's the umbrella?" She murmurs, looking around. She can't see their umbrella, but notices something else. ,,That wallet has been there since yesterday. But our umbrella goes missing in 2 hours?"

<Cyno> ,,What…is this logic…?"

<Nilou> ,,Are you kidding me?"

They mumble it in sync. Nilou doing a facepalm, meanwhile Cyno just tries to stay vertical. Luckily, at least the rain had stopped by then, so they don't have to go back to the motel drenched.

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<Cyno> ,,What's…wrong…?" His question snaps her back into reality even more.

<Nilou> ,,Hm? Nothing!" Just shakes her hands, with her smile being half as bright as it used to be.

Standing next to each other in front of the sink, she can't help getting lost, boring into his eyes. Well, the one actually visible eye, with the other being hidden under messy white locks. Still duller than they used to be. But getting their original shine back, even if slowly. She then slowly reaches up to his covered eye, tucking the still dripping wet locks, having just washed his face, behind his ear. Making the prominant cheekbones more visible in the process, along with the deep dark cirles under his eyes. And as she does so, he leans into the feathered touch, keeping her hand there with his own shaking one. Both of them slowly inching closer.

<Nilou> ,,You'll get better…" She whispers so low, even the walls could've mistaken it to a passing breath.

<Cyno> ,,I will… I promise…" A promise, he won't break. Ever. However hushed, it is still a sacred vow.

And as he lets a small, tired, but genuine smile spread onto his face, for the first time in ages, Nilou's heart completely melts. And instead of tears of sadness and sorrow, it is tears of joy that roll down from her face. Then they both snuggle close to each other. Into each other. Where the cold world couldn't hurt them anymore.

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He can't finish answering the last question. As the memories are flooding back, he completely breaks down, face in his palm, shoulders shuddering from the quiet sobs. Yes, the insence helps a lot, to calm his mind, but that doesn't mean the memories too, will be lighter. Nilou wraps one arm around him, pulling him closer, rubbing small circles on his back. While also explaining the last memory herself.

<Nilou> ,,The last one took place…weeks after the incident. As i was told, after the fight, he lost consciousness from driving himself completely beyond his limits and blood loss. The seal of the power was also broken, and it needed to be repaired fast. But since it's a rather…cruel process, Tighnari didn't wanted it to happen at his place, where two young teens would've seen it. And…Cyrus, his sort-of dad, told us to wait for a week before visiting, for him to stabilize. But Tighnari also got really seriously sick, so it was further delayed for another week." She stops, feeling the knot in her throat from the painful memory and guilt. ,,By the time we visited…he already tried to kill himself once… The initial plan was… 1 week rest home, then 2 weeks spent with Tighnari and the others… But i changed the plan, seeing that a deeper level of help is needed immidietly…"

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And as today's session ends, mostly because Mizuki doesn't want to push it more than it's needed…

<Nilou> ,,How'd you feel…should we try what Mizuki mentioned?" She asks the question, while slowly helping him walk.

<Cyno> Shrugs slowly a bit. ,,You…must be hungry… We can try…if there isn't…too much people…"

<Nilou> ,,Hey, it's not about me! Think about yourself too sometimes!" She protests, lightly pinching the side of his face in a playful manner. Almost forgetting how sunken in it is.

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<Nilou> ,,Cy…what's wrong?" Her soft, yet concerned voice snaps him out of it.

She's been braiding loosely the sides of his hair together, so it doesn't look that messy. And appearantly, his freeze-up was very much noticable.

<Cyno> ,,N-nothing…" But his voice cracks. Why? He's…not actually sad. Still, stray tear find their way down. And with a sniff, he wipes them away. ,,It's…hard to explain. But…whatever trick this is…it seems to work…" He loosely points at the general direction they put the insence last time.

Hearing THE best news she could ever think of, and also finishing off the light braiding, Nilou leans in to hug him close from behind. Resting her head lightly on his shoulder, but not weighting it down, wrapping her arms around him.

<Nilou> ,,It's not a trick… It's called natural healing… But i'm so glad it worked…"

As he slightly hold her hands in place, she can still feel the smaller bones, and the slight shaking from weakness. But, glancing up, albeit slightly obscured by hair, lined with dark circles of unrest, his eyes too, getting their original fire back.

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And after a few taps on her tablet, she turns it around towards them. It shows a list of so many colors… Soft shades of green, purple, yellow, blue, brown… But three of them catches his eyes. And it seems, Nilou thinks the same.

<Nilou> ,,Wait, those three look so pretty, especially being put together." She points at the shades.

A really nice yellow shade, a darker, but just as soft shade of purple, and a light blue shade. Seeing them put next to each other…the combination makes him think of a beach. Certainly a better association than the boring gray. And as they read the names of the colors…the yellow one is ,soft honey', the purple one is appearyntly ,shadow', while the blue one is ,sky blue'.

Fitting names for sure, and even those have positive meanings. Well…shadow is more like a neatural one, but to be fair, it kinda looks like a darker shade of a lavander, which is a nice flower.

<Nilou> ,,It kinda looks like a beach!" She exclaims it with a small giggle.

Not realising she literally said what was in his mind out loud. And all he can do is let out a small half, but fond smile at her, before asking.

<Cyno> ,,Do you mind if i note these names down? As…you could guess…i'm not familiar with color theory. Or color…phsychology…?" Whatever it is, he has absolutely no clue.

<Mizuki> ,,Not at all. It's actually great to see you're actually taking this seriously."

,Anything for them…' Is all he repeats in his head. It is all he's been repeating for as long as he can remember.

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His heart sinks, both from how sad she is, an emotion she does not deserve at all, and from her question. Despite figuring, he might get physical scolding from her, at least seeing this kind of situation from other couples, he scoots closer to her. With their legs now slightly brushing against each other.

<Cyno> ,,No, it's the polar opposite, i can assure you!" Unfolding his legs, instead of pulling her closer, he gets closer himself, cupping her face with his hands. ,,All of you, mean everything to me, and i trust you guys with my very life, no questions asked. But…when i thought you guys died…and even worse, by my filthy hands…" Shakes his head slowly. ,,I couldn't bare the thought of living with that. You guys are the sole reason that i didn't went off the trails as a kid. The sole reason of me still risking to bare this power. The sole reason that i'm keep fighting no matter what. I trust you guys, with my whole life. That's why i brought Collei to Nari. That's why i go to him with my injuries, instead of the hospital, or the Matra-doctor. That's why i let you see in my vulnerable moments. Tho embarrasing, i trust you, that you won't use that knowledge against me in an ill manner. That's why i don't sleep one eye open, looking out for danger, when around you guys. The stone-cold, ruthless General is for the criminals, and the stupid newcomers in the Matra. But the laughs, the pranks, TCG nerd, is for you guys. The stuttering, two-left-legged dancer idiot is only for you…" Surprisingly, thankfully, he was able to tell everything that is pulling on his heart, even despite his throat closing in from the knot of guilt. ,,I swear, i'm never going to leave you, unless you say so."

Without saying a word, she leans a bit closer. At first, he thinks she either offers a peace-hug, or say something. But, with a swift motion, she tackles him to the floor with a surprise tickle-attack. A furious one at that, as if wanting to teach him a lession.

<Nilou> ,,Don't you ever assume anything this stupid!" Her face can't decide what emotion to hold, switching between happyness, frustration, and relief.

<Cyno> ,,Okay- Okay- I surrender! I surrender!" Manages to rush the words out between laughs from the tickle-attack, trying to avoid the attacking hands out of reflex. Even getting surprised that his defensive reflexes aren't kicking in.

Hearing each other laugh, seeing happy, after so long, it lifts the atmosphere around them. Seeing him finally relaxed, only catching his breath after wiggling around so much, the sadness that weightered down Nilou's heart is now lifted. Instead, now something else pulls her down slowly. Not a heavy feeling, nor a violent force. Instead…while still hovering over him, purposeffuly not with her full weight, as he's still not in the best of shape, it feels like as if their hearts were magnets, wanting to connect. Closing her eyes, she gives in to the feeling, slowly inching downwards towards him, when-

A sudden ad, way louder than the initial video was, interrupts the previously calm music with an over-the-top, cheap marketing-monologue about some kind of chocolate.

This completely catches both of them off guard, with Nilou snapping her eyes back open, freezing mid-hovering, while Cyno just looks up in shock and surprise, just as frozen in time. For the whole ad, they keep staring at each other, trying to piece together what is going on, and how should they even react. It takes the entirity of the ad to figure it out. Until the ad ends abruptly, and the calming music continues.

<Cyno> Lets out a stiffled laughter. ,,Are you serious?!" While facepalming.

Nilou's frozen state also melts down, with her body softly landing on Cyno's. They laugh about the absurdity of the situation, while holding onto each other for a good few minutes.

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<Gorou> Turns towards the Sumeru-duo. ,,We'll have some climbing up there. It's not that bad, but still" Looks directly at Cyno for a moment. ,,if you'l like, we can take it slower." He offers. Not a single trace of mockery, or pity.

Glancing up, Cyno thinks it thru just for a moment, before immidietly glancing at Nilou. To which she jolts up in confusion.

<Nilou> ,,Hm? Why are you looking at me?"

<Cyno> ,,Because i'm…somewhat better now. But if you'd like to…"

<Nilou> Lightly pulls on his ear, just enough for him to feel it, but not to hurt him. ,,This is not about me! Start thinking of yourself too, for once!" Protests with cheeks puffed up in pretend-anger.

<Cyno> ,,H-hey, it's true!" She retreats her hand. ,,I AM somewhat better now. Plus, the climb itself doesn't look that bad either. I've climbed more difficult places, in way worse condition easily."

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And as they learn that Nilou can dance, and IS the lead dancer of Zubayr Theater, they plea for her to show how they do it in Sumeru. After checking if Cyno is okay with it, and he himself is okay too, she gives in. Of course, first getting a bit further away from the fireplace, not to ruin the perfectly prepared fir wood by splashing water onto it accidently.

And as she does so, as if it is his first time seeing her dance, Cyno can't help but watch her, while seated down on the warm sand. Every time, it's so mesmaerizing, so…otherworldly…to think that the Akademiya almost stole this very art from the world… He's so focused on her elegant, flowing movements, that he almost fails to notice Gorou sitting next to him, once again leaving some space between.

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Saturday mornimg rises. Both of them DID rest well, however, Cyno had only now realized the consequences of yesterday's climb, feeling his limbs, mostly his legs, sore. He tries to get up, but appearantly it's too fast, and slumps back down with a surprised yelp, garnering a worried look from Nilou.

<Nilou> ,,Are you okay?"

<Cyno> Shows a thumbs up, while laying flat in embarassment. ,,Yep. Just sore muscles. At least…now I know there are some remnants of them."

She can't help but giggle at the comment. Well, if he's joking around, it's a great sign already.

<Cyno> ,,That reminds me-" Starts, while getting out of bed, carefully this time. ,,did you know how is Haytham that muscular?"

<Nilou> ,,M-m." Shakes her head, still smiling.

<Cyno> ,,From carrying drunk Kaveh home." Seeing her unamused look, it's clear She thought he's joking. ,,No, really! I saw it way more often then i'd liked to." He does a facepalm at the memory.

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Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic.

She's fine. She's fine. She's fine.

He keeps chanting the phrases in his mind, like a lunatic.

Now 20 minutes passed. Nothing.

Another 10 minutes.

She's been away for 40 minutes since they were separated, and now he can't stay put, he's pacing back and forth. Something doesn't feel right. What if-

<Nilou> ,, I'm baaack!"

Thankfully, her cheerful voice stops his spirling before getting out of control. And as she arrives in front of him, first Cyno catches her before she would trip, then wraps his arms around Nilou, hugging her close, one hand holding the back of her head, the other her waist. Just so glad she's really okay. And she DOES reciprocate the gesture, however, after some time, he takes notice of how hot her face became. Out of fear, he swiftly, but gently places the back of his hand against her forehead.

<Cyno> ,,N-Nilou, you're burning! Are you okay?!" He can't hide away the worry in his voice, even if he tried to.

<Nilou> ,,H-huh? No, i'm perfectly fine!" She blinks rapidly in surprise.

Abscentmindedly reaching up to hold his hand in place, as it glides down her cheek. Humming in content, as Cyno's slightly colder hand easing the burning sensation. Noticing it, he cups her face softly, leaning slightly forward to put their foreheads together.

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<Cyno> ,,And my suspicion wasn't far off."

<Nilou> ,,Calm down grumpy-bag!" Boops him on the nose once, then holds his hands together into her own. ,,Nothing happened to work yourself up about. Not to mention, i'm not 10 anymore, so i didn't see anything inappropiate to my age."

<Cyno> ,,If you say so…" That still doesn't lessen his guilt about him not protecting her at that moment.

<Nilou> ,,Anyways!" She starts, letting go of his hands, snapping him out before he could even start spirling again. ,,Here, this is for you."

She hands him a small paper bag, which confuses him. Why'd she get this many things that need a paper bag? Especially for him. Especially after his neglegance towards them, but more importantly, towards her.

Tilting his head in confusion, he moves away the confetti paper that covers the things inside. First, he uncovers a plastic toy puppy, covered in a soft material to imitate fur. The puppy looks like a…little dog warrior of sorts, with a big, flat, circular hat, and a thin sword in its mouth. The other one is a plush kitsune. It has the obvious shape of a kitsune, but because of its coloring, it looks like a purple dog, or wolf. Both of them look cute, and the purple kitsune has such a soft, fluffy material…

<Nilou> ,,They say, that puppy with the sword is based off of a real dog, who lives in Inazuma!" She explains, as he looks at the gifts with gratitude mixed with surprise. ,,As for the other one…i know it looks more like a fox, but… With the purple coloring and…everything…well, makes me think of you." She looks down with a sheepish smile.

A cute, fluffy plush…made her think of him…? Of a monster? What did he do in life…to deserve her?

A stray tear rolls down his face, before hugging her close.

<Cyno> ,,T-thank you… For…thinking that…" Sniffs, then letting go of her, but eyes never leaving hers.

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<Cyno> ,, Although my gift isn't anything extravagent, I am positive that you would like it."

With that, he carefully puts down the paper bag on a smaller, but stable rock, then pulls out the small box containing the rings. Then continues, voice now chocked up, feeling his heart in his throat.

<Cyno> ,,I-if you want, you can use the other one as a switch, when yours gets damaged, or needs a cleaning… And…i-i also wanted to ask something…" Heart beating in his throat rapidly, he has to pause to take a breath first. ,,I know, sadly my actions often doesn't reflect it but…" Another sigh. ,, You're the best thing to ever enter my life. Really, you make the dark, dull moments feel…bearable. That there's still hope. That there's still light. And when I say that i don't understand what did i do in life to deserve you, i really mean it. Objectively, i'm a wreck, all i do is mess things up, then trying to glue together the broken pieces. Always ending up hurting the ones I hold close. You just witnessed it too. And despite everything…you still decided to stay. Fully aware of the risks." Lets out an airy sigh, that sounds more like a held back sob. ,,I never-ever in my life felt so alive than in your presence. Every time I was at my lowest…you still decided to stay…even if I wasn't the most caring towards you." Deep breath. C'mooon, you've already got this far… ,,Honestly, i dread going back to the usual routine, solely because that will mean…i'm gonna go back to waking up alone. Turning my head in to sleep, alone. Pacing in my apartment alone. Spending some time with you, then the cycle repeats. So… I…I know it's a selfish request and…you have every right to say no! But…could you…stay? Like how we are now…? Like…not just meeting up for an hour or two…?"

To his worst fear, she does not reply, only stares into his eyes, sometimes flicking her gaze back down to the rings. Her cheeks turn a bright red, that even her hair cannot combat. Then, with a voice just as chocked up as his…

<Nilou> ,,D-do you even know what kind of rings these are…? And why are they coming in pair?" Well, him shaking no proves her suspicion. ,,These are engagement rings." She explains.

<Cyno> First blinks in surprise, taking a sharp inhale at the realization. Then, looks down. ,,So that means n-"

<Nilou> ,,A yes! That means a yes!" She interrupts him cheerfully, making him snap his eyes back up at her.

<Cyno> ,,T-then…may I…?"

With a small nod as her consent, he takes the ring with the wavy design out, sliding it onto her ring finger. He wants to do…at least this part right. If nothing else. Then, it's Nilou's turn to do the same with the other ring.

For a few long moments, time seems to both stop and go a hundred miles per second around them. Glinting lazurite blues bored into the reignited fire of rubies. And nothing else matters.

<Nilou> ,,I love you Cy. And i'll never-ever leave you."

<Cyno> ,,I love you too… And I promi-, no, I swear, i'll make sure you won't regret your decision."

<Nilou> ,,I could never…"

Closing her eyes, Nilou leans in to give him a kiss. And Cyno lets her take the lead. Just content with the outcome. That his fear didn't come to be.

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She's so full of life…

So bright, like the Sun…

So kind, like an actual angel…

So warm, like cozy summer days in Sumeru…

So…soft…?

Wait-

<Nilou> ,,Hi sleepyhead." Her soft voice wakes him out of his daydreaming-like state.

And only now had he realized what he was doing while zoning out.

Arms hanging around her waist, hugging her close, while his head is propped on her shoulder, as she's finishing washing her face.

<Nilou> ,,Are you still tired?" Wipes her hand dry, before patting his head from a bit sideways, because of their angle.

Embarassed of how he acted just now, Cyno retreats one or two steps back, not to cage Nilou in.

<Cyno> ,,Nope!" Shoves his hands in the air.

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<Nilou> ,,Hmmm… My best guess is that…basically, by your description, you are, and were always been forced to be on high alert. And since it has been like that ever since you were a child, your body adapted to it as a normal thing. But, now that you had a prolonged period of rest, and you've been actually relaxed for the most part, your body just haven't figured out yet what is the best response. As this is alien for it."

<Cyno> ,,Hm…Yeah, it makes sense…"

<Nilou> ,,In any case…" She steps closer. ,,This is the best news ever…"

Hovering over each other's lips, they finally share a kiss. Nothing heated, nor posessive, no. Only pure love and adoration for each other.

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Well, to their misfortune, the ship is completely packed with people, like a can of sardenes. Out of reflex and safety mesoure, Cyno makes sure to use his body as a shield for Nilou,and to be against a wall, instead of the railing. With their bags secured safely under their legs. Sure, she blushes beet red, as well as him, but that's the safest option he could think of.

But thanks to Nilou's idea to listen to music in the meantime, this uncomfortable part passes a bit faster. And once they arrive at the familiar, busy port-town of Ormos, it is as if a big, heavy weight got lifted from their chest.

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Taking a step right in front of him, Nilou takes his face between her palms, with Cyno leaning into the touch. Shoulders slumped down, eyes closed with a frown, as he's holding onto her hands.

<Nilou> ,,Look at you, big, scary Mahamatra! The one who's oh so feared. Merciless and cold." Lightly pinches both sides of his face, but not hard enough to actually hurt, chuckling. ,,Just…stop worrying so much, okay? You're not preparing for a mission, or for an incoming danger. We're just having some us-time after eternity."

<Cyno> ,,True…" Can't help the small smile creeping up.

It's been so long since the last time they had time for themselves without the worry or an incoming catastrophy… Yes, they were together for the entirity of his 3-weeks-leave, but that's not the same. It was filled with uncertainty, sadness and sickness. He was barely present in his mind for the most part.

<Cyno> ,,Although…i would refute your statement. Archons above, your wrath can be just as dangerous as a criminal case…"

<Nilou> Steps back, hands on her hip. ,,If you don't want to witness it, then treat this as a regular time together!" There's a false severity to her voice and grin.

<Cyno> ,,Yes ma'am!" Salutes, with a cartoonish seriousness on his face.

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<Cyno> ,,Oh yeah?" Proceeds to attack her with the same tickle-attack she did once. ,,Could a simple dog attack like this?!"

As she wriggles around from the furious attack, her previously slight fear melts into chimes of laughters and pretend pleas. Hearing her laugh after so long…seeing her uncontained happyness…a warmth spreads all over him, almost to the point of melting. His mouth spreading into a rare, full smile, while continuing his tickle-attack. Until they both tire out in their battle, and he surrenders himself to her warmth.

Warm… Soft… The gently sweet scent of Padisarah… Hair with the most beautiful shade of red he'd ever seen… The now a bit faster, but steady heartbeat… Her gentle smile…

Everything that makes her…her. And he can't get enough of it… And will cherish every bit, until his last breath.

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And to those words…that she wishes to be true…her sobs go down to a few hickups and snifflings, until, with some more time…the rocking of her shoulder ease, tears stop falling… But, still remains rested against him. Their heart in sync with a fast, steady rythm. She's also unable to notice how Cyno slowly lowers themselves on the soft mattress, being extra careful, like handling a delicate glass sculpture, while he craws on top of her again. The only thing she DOES notice, is warm air blown against the rim of her ear.

<Nilou> ,,That tickles!" Lets out a chuckle, wriggling slightly from the feeling.

To that, Cyno playfully blows air against the other ear too. Attacking both ears one after the other, sometimes gently nibbling at the surface, teeth barely scaping the soft skin, not to cause actual harm. As the attacks get more and more vicious, he lets out short laughters, like a mischivious little kid. It sounds so much like a cartoon villain. But it's heartfelt and pure. Without the restrain of embarassment and shame. And it makes her heart melt and skip a beat at the same time, as well as melting her previous sadness away.

[wolfythephoenix]

Oranges And Racoon Stelle [HSR Commission]

[luna-azzurra]

Setting & Atmosphere Ideas!! 

𐙚⋆.˚ The smell that hits before anything is seen 

𐙚⋆.˚ How a room feels different at 3am vs. 3pm 

𐙚⋆.˚ The sound that's only noticeable when everything else goes quiet 

𐙚⋆.˚ Light quality, yellow and warm vs. cold and fluorescent 

𐙚⋆.˚ The thing that's slightly wrong about an otherwise normal space 

𐙚⋆.˚ Temperature as mood (the specific chill of a hospital, the thick heat of a fight) 

𐙚⋆.˚ What a space says about the person who lives in it 

𐙚⋆.˚ The background noise that tells you exactly where you are 

𐙚⋆.˚ Weather that mirrors without being too obvious about it 

𐙚⋆.˚ The one detail a character notices that reveals what they're looking for 

𐙚⋆.˚ How familiar places look different after something changes 

𐙚⋆.˚ The texture of things: rough, worn, too-new, cold metal 

𐙚⋆.˚ Empty spaces that feel occupied. Occupied spaces that feel hollow. 

𐙚⋆.˚ The way sound travels differently in grief vs. joy 

𐙚⋆.˚ Objects that carry history without explaining it 

𐙚⋆.˚ The specific ugly of a beautiful place when you're in the wrong mood 

𐙚⋆.˚ Noticing the exit first (what that says about a character) 

𐙚⋆.˚ The before-storm stillness applied to non-weather moments 

𐙚⋆.˚ How a space shrinks when tension fills it 

𐙚⋆.˚ The detail so specific it makes everything around it feel real

[wolfythephoenix]

Restless Night, Without Nightmares [REWORK, W.I.P.]

[TW/CW: mention of blood, scars, self blame and self hatred, implications of i n t e r c o u r s e (nothing heavy, it's really vague, but i still advice minors to skip this one)]

(Note: This is still a rough draft, bound to change!)

(Context: This takes place some time after a horrible incident, after which Cyno thought he killed Nilou.)

<Cyno> ,,Are you sure about this…?"

From the moment of the conversation being brought up, he's been shifting his weight from one foot to the other, swallowing repeatedly, holding his breath after each one. Trying to get rid of the creeping, gnawing feeling spreading fron his stomach up to his throat.

<Nilou> ,,Yes…" Softly takes both of his hands into hers, rubbing them in a soothing motion, to the tenseness in them ,,But, if you don't want to, i won't-"

<Cyno> ,,N-no no no, that's not it!" Waves his hands around frantically, after slipping them out from her gentle hold, face turning redder and redder. ,,I just… I have no idea what i'm doing. And…don't want to hurt you…"

Taking a step right in front of him, Nilou takes his face between her palms, with Cyno leaning into the touch. Shoulders slumped down, eyes closed with a frown, as he's holding onto her hands.

<Nilou> ,,Look at you, big, scary Mahamatra! The one who's oh so feared. Merciless and cold." Lightly pinches both sides of his face, but not hard enough to actually hurt, chuckling. ,,Just…stop worrying so much, okay? You're not preparing for a mission, or for an incoming danger. We're just having some us-time after eternity."

<Cyno> ,,True…" Can't help the small smile creeping up.

It's been so long since the last time they had time for themselves without the worry or an incoming catastrophy… Yes, they were together for the entirity of his 3-weeks-leave, but that's not the same. It was filled with uncertainty, sadness and sickness. He was barely present in his mind for the most part.

<Cyno> ,,Although…i would refute your statement. Archons above, your wrath can be just as dangerous as a criminal case…"

<Nilou> Steps back, hands on her hip. ,,If you don't want to witness it, then treat this as a regular time together!" There's a false severity to her voice and grin.

<Cyno> ,,Yes ma'am!" Salutes, with a cartoonish seriousness on his face.

.

.

.

But, it's easier said than done. Arriving at his apartment, the same nervousness creeps up in him, gnawing at him more and more with each step taken. Just as much as in Nilou. She's been awfully quiet the whole way there, and up to his…cage. That is his apartment.

Inside, taking their shoes off, Cyno drops a few days worth of processed food into the small fridge. Almost dropping one from how unfocused and clumsy he's got, as anticipation and anxiety are at war with each other. One part of him wants to run. To say he changed his mind, that he's not ready. But the other part wants to experience it. Feeling her closeness. Smelling the gentle Padisarah perfume she always wears.

One thing both of the sides agree on, is that she WANTS to be with Nilou.

Craves to be with her, no matter the context. He wants to be with her, to be lost in a brighter reality, far away from his own, dark one.

Besides, they've come so far. He can't back out now. He isn't known for backing out. And they've been planning how they will finally have a…normal life. And if the Heavens will be merciful enough to grant their wish…maybe they can start a family. He won't let his own insecurity be the obsticle on that already uncertain road.

But, once again…it's easier said than done. Even as they stand against each other, equally fast heartbeats in sync with the rapidfire of their feelings against the harshness of his apartment, lips smoothly coliding, like little waves…he can still feel the knot in his throat. Shaking hands pulling her closer, one supporting her lower back, while the other finds its way to her fluffy hair, carding the strands between his fingers softly.

Even with his…research…he has no idea what he's doing, but…still wants to do it right…she deserves this to be right. Since it's their first time, it can't be perfect. But she deserves it to be as close to perfect as it's possible. She deserves gentleness, softness and care. Not the roughness he hears from others. But, he has no idea how he will react once getting there… He's really aggressive when on duty, what if that roughness will bleed into their…situation…?

But…she's right…he should try to relax, and let things unfold in their own pace…

Their faces retreat to mere milimeters away, to catch their breaths. Foreheads supporting each other.

<Nilou> ,,Wouldn't thought someone like you would be this nervous…"

Although truth be told, her tease is merely a mask against her own nervousness. She knows, it's a part of life, especially if they want a family later. But…she can't help but feel nervous…and embarassed.

Pressed so close to each other, with his face now buried into the crook of her neck. Tensed up hands keeping her as close as physically possible in a protecting, maybe even desparete grip. Then, hears a low grumble, feeling it vibrate on her skin, sending chills down her spine in a good way.

<Nilou> ,,You really act into the dog allegations, you know that, grumpy bag?" Her laugh is soft and oh so alluring…

A sudden idea…a strange urge…an impluslive thought taps thru his mind.

And her breath hitches into her throat, as Cyno carefully lifts her up, slowly plopping her down onto the bed, like handling a feather, then crawling on top of her. She looks up with the slightest hint of fear and surprise in her eyes, while he looks down with a…what supposed to be a playful smirk, but it actually looks scary from him. And Nilou instinctively pulls herself inwards slightly.

But, as he dips down…

<Cyno> ,,Oh yeah?" Proceeds to attack her with the same tickle-attack she did once. ,,Could a simple dog attack like this?!"

As she wriggles around from the furious attack, her previously slight fear melts into chimes of laughters and pretend pleas. Hearing her laugh after so long…seeing her uncontained happyness…a warmth spreads all over him, almost to the point of melting. His mouth spreading into a rare, full smile, while continuing his tickle-attack. Until they both tire out in their battle, and he surrenders himself to her warmth.

Warm… Soft… The gently sweet scent of Padisarah… Hair with the most beautiful shade of red he'd ever seen… The now a bit faster, but steady heartbeat… Her gentle smile…

Everything that makes her…her. And he can't get enough of it… And will cherish every bit, until his last breath.

Peaceful…quiet… This moment between them feels…just right. It made Nilou forget her previous embarassment. It made Cyno forget his previous fear. His mind almost gets to relax and blank out into the brighter reality it's been craving, when he feels her slightly moving under him.

<Nilou> ,,You're…heavy…" Is all she musters up. Somewhere glad to say this…because it's a sign of him getting better.

<Cyno> ,,Oh- Sorry-sorry…"

Averting his upper half, he then uses his lower arms as support, eyes still glued to her. Lower half still pressed against hers, but careful not to cause any pain or discomfort.

<Nilou> ,,Don't be…" Starts to twirl some ghostly white strands in her hand, to distract herself from the creeping embarrasment.

Letting a few heartbeats pass, both to calm themselves down, and to build some courage to ask…the question.

<Nilou> Gulps once. ,,So…?" Her voice tries to sound more confident than she actually is…failing miserably.

<Cyno> ,,So…" For a few moments, he blinks in confusion, before doing a mental facepalm. Invoulenteerly making a face, that causes Nilou to laugh softly.

Her laughter…her smile…her fingers still lightly twirling strands of his hair…thefaint smell of sweet Padisarahs… It all makes his head feel light and his heart to jump up into his throat. Giving him just enough courage to be able to think about what they're here for to begin with, without too much embarrassment. Not that he's not embarrassed at all..but at least, he gathered enough courage to be more confident than a coward rabbit. Retreating into the far end of the bed, with some hesitation…a LOT of hesitation, he slowly takes his shirt off, face turning red all over again and eyes unable to meet hers, and fingers fumbling at every movement. Finding every unnoticed hole, instead of the lower rim of the clothing itself.

How embarrassing it is… But…he want to do this right. He wants to bring their first time as close to perfect as possible. For her. Fighting thru the strange feeling of his upper half being fully exposed to the warm air of the room. His overgrown hair tickling his back.

<Nilou> ,,You don't have to fully-"

Almost moving to his belt, with even more hesitation than before-

<Cyno> ,,It's okay…i want to…do it right…" He wants…desparetly wants…to sound sure of himself.

…before Nilou's subconscious gasp catches his attention.

Turning his attention back to her… To see her eyes widen, mouth slightly agape, with a frown descending on her face. Having no idea what to do, especially with his face roasting like a grilled chicken in the oven, his whole body freezes in place, as Nilou inches closer, face filled with such a sadness she doesn't deserve… Abscentmindedly tracing a long scar that runs across his chest, with featheres touch, her finger stops right next to the already healed scar of the puncture wound near his heart. And Cyno has to restrain himself from shivering from the tickling sensation. For a few moments, her finger stays there, as she stares at that spot. Mouth slowly moving, but there's no sound coming out. Her finger then goes lower, where somewhat above his stomach…another scar. Albeit healed, but it looks like a slash. Like if someone tried to butcher him alive… It almost reaches to the bite mark even, that he got from that…horrible week…

<Nilou> ,,So many…" Is all she manages, eyes watering up.

On his chest, on his arms, on his legs… Slashes and scratches, stabs and burn marks… And she knows, there's still more on his back… She knew…she always knew there are plenty of scars he hides delibarately. But…this many… And with a work like his…there will still be more in the future… She can feel her shoulders shaking, while trying to contain her own tears… But, quiet sobs and hickups still escape her lips…

Shifting on the bed slightly, to sit more stable on it, Cyno makes her scoot a bit closer. One palm nestles against her face, brushing away any tears his thumb can reach, and the other taking her hand, that is already on him, opening up her palm, to put it right against his violently drumming heart.

<Cyno> ,,But i'm here… And will be here…"

Unable to utter a word, she can only nod, keeping the hand on her face in place. Hoping this time it's true. That he won't try to end himself again. That he will actually try to stay alive from now on.

Without thinking really, at least not with her brain, Nilou jolts right into his lap. Snuggling herself close, letting the dam break, as her most heartbreaking sobs he'd ever heard gets muffled by his shoulder, and strands of white hair that falls across it. And all Cyno can do at that moment, is holding her close. Keeping her body steady, rocking her softly. Quiet sobs turning into an ugly cry, and she clings to him even more desparetly, while he tries his best to reassure her. Having no idea what to say…and knowing, just saying ,everything will be fine' would be a lie even he himself wouldn't buy, he results in silently rocking her body, keeping her as close as possible, raking her hair slowly, like how she usually does.

It's heartbreaking to see her like that…even more so, knowing that it's HIM who caused it. And the helpless feeling of not knowing what to do, what to say, does not help at all… The best he can do, is relying to what he feels is right. And mimicing what she usually does, as whatever magic she has…it somehow works wonders each time…

And it seems, that he learned…at least a portion of that magic, as with some time, she slowly calms down. Ugly cry and whailing slowly turns to slightly louder sobs, as he keeps whispering quiet vows. Vows that albeit quiet, holding the most important meaning.

That this isn't temporary. His presence in her life isn't temporary. Never will be temporary.

And to those words…that she wishes to be true…her sobs go down to a few hickups and snifflings, until, with some more time…the rocking of her shoulder ease, tears stop falling… But, still remains rested against him. Their heart in sync with a fast, steady rythm. She's also unable to notice how Cyno slowly lowers themselves on the soft mattress, being extra careful, like handling a delicate glass sculpture, while he craws on top of her again. The only thing she DOES notice, is warm air blown against the rim of her ear.

<Nilou> ,,That tickles!" Lets out a chuckle, wriggling slightly from the feeling.

To that, Cyno playfully blows air against the other ear too. Attacking both ears one after the other, sometimes gently nibbling at the surface, teeth barely scaping the soft skin, not to cause actual harm. As the attacks get more and more vicious, he lets out short laughters, like a mischivious little kid. It sounds so much like a cartoon villain. But it's heartfelt and pure. Without the restrain of embarassment and shame. And it makes her heart melt and skip a beat at the same time, as well as melting her previous sadness away.

Even more so when, declearing the playful siege is over, Cyno nuzzles himself into the crook of her neck. Right where he can feel her pulse. Warm and steady air faning the violently throbbing artery, chapped lips planting soft kisses between throbs. Blessing, worshiping it, for keeping her alive internally. And, swearing on his life, he'll do everything in his power, to keep her alive externally.

Nilou's breath hitches, heart jumps up into her throat from his chain of actions, warmth filling her entire being. But even through the entirely different warmth, she still notices the warm tears rolling onto her shoulder and neck. The shaking breath, trying to contain the sadness threatening to resurface once more. Reaching up, she carefully wipes them away, then caressing Cyno's face, making him look at her. And as he leans into the touch, she keeps wiping away stray tear droplets, that find their way down. Until the bitter sadness melts away and all that is left in those fiery orbs is love and devotion.

With that same love and devotion acting as lint and stone, sparking the courage they both needed. And for once in a lifetime… Nightly hours spent without rest isn't caused by night terrors or from pulling allnighters.

Decades of hardships and strict dicapline, years of service and relentless battles meet with softness and care.

Lips that never craved sugar, now chasing the taste of honey, like moth the flames.

Rough, once nasty scars handled with feathered touch.

Normally commanding, cold voice is but a soft hush. For her. Only for her.

Hands that had crashed countless bones, ripped thru flesh and skin, is brushing soft skin with unexpected gentleness and utmost care.

Aggression and raw strength pushed to the farthest end of the backstage, giving only feathered touches and soft kisses.

Holding each other close the best they can…like they'd disappear otherwise…

.

.

.

Even as morning comes, they still remain practically glued together, as Cyno is wrapped around her from the side, head nuzzled against her now slowly thumping pulse. And as Nilou opens her eyes, squinting from the sudden light-

<Nilou> ,,What time is it…"

Carefully feeling for her phone on the night stand, she only opens up the screen protector. And realization hits her.

<Nilou> ,,1 PM?!" She blurts it out…a bit louder than intended.

They weren't…at it…the whole night, but still…how did they overslept THIS MUCH?! From the corner of her eye, she sees Cyno jolting his head up. Looking like someone who was attacked by a vacum cleaner on the head. Well…if she has to be honest, his hair rarely looks like it's taken care of. Unless she does it for him.

<Cyno> ,,Good thing…it's saturday…" His eyes barely budge open.

Still, they decide to get up and get ready for the rest of the day. Yes, it's saturday, but they can't lie in bed the whole time.

Although, as Nilou puts her clothes back on, and lazily walks to her bag, to find her brush, Cyno, still sitting at the edge of the the bad, only with his pants on yet, notices something on her shoulder, even thru his half-asleep mind fog, and grabs her wrist gently, just enough to hold her back.

<Cyno> ,,Wait…that's- Oh no- I-i'm so sorry… I didn't mean to-" He still ended up hurting her…

<Nilou> ,,Hm…?" Tilts her head, tapping on her own shoulder, to figure out what does he mean… ,,Oh, this?" To his surprise, a gentle smile spreads on her face. ,,Don't worry about it. It doesn't even hurt. It will probably heal in a day or two at most." Then turns around to face him fully, putting her free hand on top of his. ,,Besides…" But then looks away sheepishly. ,,…i have a feeling…i'm not the only one…"

Now it's his turn to tilt his head in confusion. Before realising it. As his shoulderblades move, he can pick up on a really faint skinging sensation. Although, stinging is too harsh of a word for it. It's merely a tingle.

<Cyno> ,,Oh…that…" Shrugs. ,,I've got worse ones from Snowball whenever trying to put her down the table."

<Nilou> ,,See?" Wriggles her hand out of his light grasp, just to cup his face. ,,Stop worrying so much." Then chuckles. ,,You could say, we're even."

Leaning into the touch with a barely audiable, but content hum, he guides her closer, wrapping his arms around her back and lower back, nuzzling back into her warmth. Chuckling a bit, she holds his head there, softly raking his still bed-messy locks.

<Nilou> ,,Come on lazyhead… I'll do your white bush, okay…?" She can feel him nod against her.

What did he do in life…to deserve her…?

[wolfythephoenix]

Restless Night, Without Nightmares [W.I.P. scene]

[TW/CW: mention of blood, scars, self blame and self hatred, implications of intercourse (nothing heavy, it's really vague, but i still advice minors to skip this one)]

(Note: This is still a rough draft, bound to change!)

(Context: This takes place some time after a horrible incident, after which Cyno thought he killed Nilou.)

<Cyno> ,,Are you sure about this…?"

<Nilou> ,,Yes… But, if you don't want to, i won't-"

<Cyno> ,,N-no no no, that's not it!" Waves his hands around frantically, face turning redder and redder. ,,I just… I have no idea what i'm doing. And…don't want to hurt you…"

Taking a step right in front of him, Nilou takes his face between her palms, with Cyno leaning into the touch.

<Nilou> ,,Look at you, big, scary Mahamatra!" Lightly pinches both sides of his face, but not hard enough to actually hurt. ,,Just…stop worrying so much, okay? You're not preparing for a mission, or for an incoming danger. We're just having some us-time after an eternity."

<Cyno> ,,True…" Can't help the small smile creeping up. ,,Although…i would refute your statement. Archons above, your wrath can be just as dangerous as a criminal case…"

<Nilou> Steps back, hands on her hip. ,,If you don't want to witness it, then treat this as a regular time together!" There's a false severity to her voice and grin.

.

.

.

Easier said than done. Even as they stand against each other, equally as fast heartbeat in sync with the rapidfire of their feelings, mouths smoothly coliding, like little waves…he can still feel the knot in his throat. Shaking hands pulling her closer, one supping her lower back, while the other finds its way to her fluffy hair. He wants to to it right…she deserves this to be right.

But…she's right…he should try to relax…

Their faces retreat to mere milimeters away, to catch their breaths. Foreheads prompted against each other.

<Nilou> ,,Wouldn't thought someone like you would be this nervous…" Her soft tease only gets a low grumble as an answer. ,,You really act into the dog allegations, you know that, grumpy bag?" Her laugh is soft and oh so alluring…

Her breath hitches into her throat, as Cyno carefully lifts her up, slowly plopping her down onto the bed, like handling a feather, then crawling on top of her.

<Cyno> ,,Oh yeah?" Proceeds to attack her with the same tickle-attack she did once. ,,Could a simple dog attack like this?!"

As she wriggles around from the furious attack, her previously slight fear melts into chimes of laughters and pretend pleas. Hearing her laugh after so long…seeing her uncontained happyness…a warmth spreads all over him, almost to the point of melting. His mouth spreading into a rare, full smile, while continuing his tickle-attack. Until they both tire out in their battle, and he surrenders himself to her warmth.

Warm… Soft… The gently sweet scent of Padisarah… Hair with the most beautiful shade of red he'd seen… The now a bit faster, but steady heartbeat… Her gentle smile… Everything that makes her…her. And he can't get enough of it… And will cherish every bit, until his last breath.

His mind almost gets to relax and blank out, when he feels her slightly moving under him.

<Nilou> ,,You're…heavy…"

<Cyno> ,,Oh- Sorry-sorry…" Averts his upper half, using his lower arms as support, but still keeping his eyes on her.

<Nilou> ,,Don't be…" Starts to twirl some ghostly white strands in her hand, to distract herself from the creeping embarrasment, before gulping. ,,So…?"

<Cyno> ,,So…" For a few moments, he blinks in confusion, before doing a mental facepalm. Invoulenteerly making a face, that causes Nilou to laugh softly.

Retreating into the far end of the bed, with some hesitation, he slowly takes his shirt off, face turning red all over again and eyes unable to meet hers.

<Nilou> ,,You don't have to fully-"

Almost moving to his belt-

<Cyno> ,,It's okay…i want to…do it right…"

…before Nilou's subconscious gasp catches his attention.

Turning his attention back to her… To see her eyes widen, mouth slightly agape, with a frown descending on her face. Having no idea what to do, especially with his face roasting like a grilled chicken in the oven, his whole body freezes in place, as Nilou inches closer, face filled with such a sadness she doesn't deserve…

Abscentmindedly tracing a long scar that runs across his chest with featheres touch, her finger stops right next to the already healed scar of the pictures wound near his heart. And Cyno has to restrain himself from shivering from the tickling sensation. For a few moments, her finger stays there, as she stares at that spot.

<Nilou> ,,So many…" Is all she mumbles, eyes watering up.

On his chest, on his arms, on his legs… Slashes and scratches, stabs and burn marks… And she knows, there's still more on his back… She knew…she always knew there are plenty of scars he hides delibarately. But…this many…

Shifting on the bed slightly, to sit more stable on it, Cyno makes her scoot a bit closer. One palm nestles against her face, and the other taking her hand, that is already on him, opening up her palm, to put it right against his violently drumming heart.

<Cyno> ,,But i'm here… And will be here…"

Unable to utter a word, she can only nod, keeping the hand on her face in place. Hoping this time it's true. That he won't try to end himself again.

Without thinking really, at least not with her brain, Nilou scoots even closer, into his lap. Snuggling herself close, letting the dam break, as her sobs get muffled by his shoulder, and strands of white hair that falls across it. And all Cyno can do at that moment, is holding herself close. Keeping her body steady, rocking her softly. Quiet sobs turning into an ugly cry, and she clings to him even more desparetly. Calming down after some time, and infinite reassurances and quiet vows. Vows that albeit quiet, holding the most important meaning.

That this isn't temporary. His presence in her life isn't temporary. Never will be temporary.

Having calmed down, Nilou still remains rested against him. Theird heart in sync with a fast, steady rythm. She's also unable to notice how Cyno slowly lowers themselves on the soft mattres, being extra careful, like handling a delicate glass sculpture.

The only thing she DOES notice, is warm air blown against the rim of her ear.

<Nilou> ,,That tickles!" Lets out a chuckle, wriggling slightly from the feeling.

To that, Cyno playfully blows air against the other ear too. Attacking both ears one after the other, sometimes gently nibbling at the surface. As the attacks get more and more frequent and rapid, he lets out short laughters, like a mischivious little kid. It sounds so much like a cartoon villain. But it's heartfelt and pure. Without the restrain of embarassment and shame. And it makes her heart melt and skip a beat at the same time. Even more so when, declearing the playful siege is over, Cyno nuzzles himself into the crook of her neck. Right where he can feel her pulse. Warm and steady air faning the violently throbbing artery, planting soft kisses between throbs. Blessing, worshiping it, for keeping her alive internally. And, swearing on his life, he'll do everything in his power, to keep her alive externally.

Nilou's breath hitches in her throat from his chain of actions. But even through the entirely different warmth, she still notices the warm tears rolling onto her shoulder and neck. Reaching up, she carefully wipes them away, then caressing Cyno's face, making him look at her. And as he leans into the touch, she keeps wiping away stray tear droplets, that find their way down. Until the bitter sadness melts away and all that is left in those fiery orbs is love and devotion.

And for once in a lifetime… Nightly hours spent without rest isn't caused by night terrors or from pulling allnighters.

Decades of hardships and strict dicapline, years of service and relentless battles meet with softness and care.

Lips that never craved sugar, now chasing the taste of honey, like moth the flames.

Rough, once nasty scars handled with feathered touch.

Normally commanding, cold voice is but a soft hush. For her. Only for her.

.

.

.

Even as morning comes, they still remain practically gued together, as Cyno is wrapped around her from the side, head nuzzled against her now slowly thumping pulse. And as Nilou opens her eyes, squinting from the sudden light-

<Nilou> ,,What time is it…"

Carefully feeling for her phone on the night stand, she only opens up the screen protector. And realization hits her.

<Nilou> ,,1 PM?!" She blurts it out…a bit louder than intended.

Causing Cyno to jolt his head up. Looking like someone who was attacked by a vacum cleaner on the head.

<Cyno> ,,Good thing…it's saturday…"

Still, they decide to get up and get ready for the rest of the day. Although, as Nilou puts her clothes back on, and lazily walks to her bag, to find her brush, Cyno, still sitting at the edge of the the bad, only with his pants on yet, notices something on her shoulder, and grabs her wrist gently, just enough to hold her back.

<Cyno> ,,Wait… that's- I-i'm so sorry… I didn't mean to-" He still ended up hurting her…

<Nilou> ,,Hm…?" Tils her head, tapping on her own shoulder, to figure out what does he mean… ,,Oh, this?" To his surprise, a gentle smile spreads on her face. ,,Don't worry about it. It doesn't even hurt. It will probably heal in a day or two at most." Then turns around to face him fully, putting her free hand on top of his. ,,Besides…" But then looks away sheepishly. ,,…i have a feeling…i'm not the only one…"

Now it's his turn to tilt his head in confusion. Before realising it. As his shoulderblades move, he can pick up on a really faint skinging sensation. Although, stinging is too harsh of a word for it. It's merely a tingle.

<Cyno> ,,Oh…that…" Shrugs. ,,I've got worse ones from Snowball whenever trying to put her down the table."

<Nilou> ,,See?" Wriggles her hand out of his light grasp, just to cup his face. ,,Stop worrying so much." Then chuckles. ,,You could say, we're even."

Leaning into the touch with a barely audiable, but content hum, he guides her closer, wrapping his arms around her back and lower back, nuzzling back into her warmth. Chuckling a bit, she holds his head there, softly raking his still bed-messy locks.

<Nilou> ,,Come on lazyhead… I'll do your white bush, okay…?" She can feel him nod against her.

What did he do in life…to deserve her…?

[luna-azzurra]

Dialogue Beats & How People Actually Talk List!! 

𐙚⋆.˚ Trailing off mid-sentence and not finishing the thought 

𐙚⋆.˚ Answering a question with a question to buy time 

𐙚⋆.˚ Laughing before saying something painful 

𐙚⋆.˚ "I'm fine" said in twelve completely different ways 

𐙚⋆.˚ The pause before a name that carries a whole conversation in it 

𐙚⋆.˚ Repeating the last word someone said while processing 

𐙚⋆.˚ Starting a sentence three times before finishing it 

𐙚⋆.˚ Saying "no, yeah" vs. "yeah, no" (opposite meanings) 

𐙚⋆.˚ The overly casual voice when asking something they desperately care about 

𐙚⋆.˚ Talking faster when nervous, slower when trying to control the room 

𐙚⋆.˚ The subject change that's so obvious it becomes its own confession 

𐙚⋆.˚ "It's fine" vs. "It's fine" vs. "...it's fine" 

𐙚⋆.˚ Going very quiet and polite when actually at their most dangerous 

𐙚⋆.˚ Agreeing just to end the conversation 

𐙚⋆.˚ Using someone's full name vs. nickname as a power shift 

𐙚⋆.˚ Apologizing for things that aren't their fault out of habit 

𐙚⋆.˚ The "anyway—" that means I'm done being vulnerable now 

𐙚⋆.˚ Jokes as deflection (always) 

𐙚⋆.˚ Saying the brave thing, then immediately walking it back 

𐙚⋆.˚ The sentence that stops just before the word that would mean too much