this morning I went to the ez-pass in town to get set up for toll relief. it was about 9:15am, 15 minutes after the center had opened. I walked into an empty office and was greeted by a woman behind the desk. she was late 50s, maybe early 60s, wearing a baseball cap trimmed with gold, a collard white button down, and a gold ankh hanging from a thick gold chain around her neck. her lips were painted a bright pink with a brown/black lip liner around them.
I said hello, she said hello. she asked for my proof of income and ID and then I asked her, "How are you doing today?" she answered me honestly, "Tired, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night." I felt empathetic because I too have been having trouble sleeping. "I feel that. My cat has been sick this week and I have been losing a lot of sleep over it." She was sympathetic to my worries and replied with some honest and personal reasoning for her lack of sleep. "My sister called me yesterday, my brother had a stroke." I let out a breath of shock, with a followed up "oh my god I'm so sorry I hope he is recovering well." She went on to add, "He is, he's still here, that's what matters." She's quiet for a second while she types on the computer. She adds more, "My son was shot in the back 2 weeks ago" I gasp. She keeps going, "And his father passed away a few weeks before that." I was at a loss for words, I extended my condolences and she goes on to tell me her son is okay, already out of the hospital, and going in for a job interview today. I told her she is really strong to be here, in this office today, coming to work after all she has endured these past few weeks. "All you can do is pray" she said.
While I am not a religious person, I do not denounce anyone's religion or ways of dealing with difficulty and grief. I tell her I will say a prayer for her and keep her in my thoughts. She says thank you and follows up with "You know, not many people ask "How are you?" and really mean it. But I could tell when you did that you meant it. So I knew you could handle it." We both agreed upon the sentiment of "you never know what someone is going through, so be kind, always."
She thanked me again for listening to her and for keeping her in my thoughts. She said she hoped my cat gets better. I left the office and walked to my car. My eyes welled. All week I have been stressed and anxious about the health of my cat, and while my worries and emotions are valid, this woman is there, at work, grieving loss, caring for an injured child, and worried about a sick brother, while still dealing with the public for the next 8 hours.
You truly never know what someone is dealing with. If they seem sad, angry, disgruntled, or even happy... spread kindness. It goes a long way.
Thinking of you, Rita.
