Wooing With Words

Delicious words to use for wooing your heart's desire. You will also find some useful insults, bamboozling archaisms, and waywardly weird words for use on any occasion; the more inappropriately you use them, the better the fun. | Wooing With Pictures | Wooing With Grammar

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toodle-pip

toodle-pip interj. goodbye

For the time being, life’s stuff has swept me away in a tsunami of irritating obligations and will do so for a while, the bastard. (That’s nothosonomia, y’know.)

I might say that my absence will be for the foreseeable future, but no one can see the future except Doctor Who and people as high as a satellite on jimson weed. I’m neither, more’s the pity.

Thank you to everyone who has been so lovely and supportive with Likes, Reblogs, Follows, and heartwarming messages. I’ll be about, lurking, and am not really going anywhere. So please don’t unfollow because, in the words of that great philosopher, the T-800, I’ll be back. Feel free to say hello or give me abuse if you’re so inclined.

There’s a plethora of wondrous words on the alphabetical list here, which should tide you over and give you something rude to say every day .

But until such time as I get the chance to add more, toodle-pip, dear readers.

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placket

placket n. an apron; a petticoat

“Ah, my bonny maid; thank you for attending the bell. I would like some coffee, please. If you could deliver it to my bedchamber in half an hour and wear only your placket, I shall be most tumescent.”

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pococurantism

pococurantism n. (literature) indifference or apathy

“On occasions, I suffer from pococurantism. I’d explain, but I can’t be arsed.“

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plenilunary

plenilunary a. pertaining to the full moon

“I thought I was having a rather wonderful plenilunary vision for a moment. Then I realised that Lucia had cast a cantrip over me by slipping out of her robe and being so, oh, I don’t know…so bloody callipygous.”

Or, more poignantly:

“My darling Carlotta, you will never know how sorrowful I am that I shall never be bathed in your plenilunary light as I hold you in my arms.”

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pilose

pilose a. hairy

“Is that a Halfling, Mrs Baggins, or is your child merely pilose?”

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pigsney

pigsney n. a word of endearment to a girl

"Carlotta, my sweet Darling, it doesn't sound like much of a compliment, but you are my perfect pigsney."

cf. bellibone

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phocine

phocine a. relating to seals; seal-like.

Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita:

Sunday. Heat ripple still with us; a most favonian* week. This time I took up a strategic position, with obese newspaper and new pipe, in the piazza rocker before L. arrived. To my intense disappointment she came with her mother, both in two-piece bathing suits, black, as new as my pipe. My darling, my sweetheart stood for a moment near me - wanted the funnies - and she smelt almost exactly like the other one, the Riviera one, but more intensely so, with rougher overtones - a torrid odour that at once set my manhood astir - but she had already yanked out of me the coveted section and retreated to her mat near her phocine** mamma. There my beauty lay down on her stomach, showing me, showing the thousand eyes wide open in my eyed blood, her slightly raised shoulder blades, and the bloom along the incurvation of her spine, and the swellings of her tense narrow nates** clothed in black, and the seaside of her schoolgirl thighs. Silently, the seventh-grader enjoyed her green-red-blue comics. She was the loveliest nymphet green-red-blue Priap himself could think up. As I looked on, through prismatic layers of light, dry-lipped, focusing my lust and rocking slightly under my newspaper, I felt that my perception of her, if properly concentrated upon, might be sufficient to have me attain a beggar’s bliss immediately; but, like some predator that prefers a moving prey to a motionless one, I planned to have this pitiful attainment coincide with the various girlish movements she made now and then as she read, such as trying to scratch the middle of her back and revealing a stippled armpit - but fat Haze suddenly spoiled everything by turning to me and asking me for a light, and starting a make-believe conversation about a fake book by some popular fraud.

Poor Charlotte Haze.

*favonian a. relating to the west wind, favourable

**nates n. the buttocks

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philtre

philtre n. a potion, drug, or charm held to have the power to arouse sexual passion

“Carlotta, there is not the faintest shadow of a doubt that you are, and ever will be, my philtre.”

“I beg your pardon, Lola?  Did you ask if this was Viagra?  Good gracious, no!  This is an ancient blue lozenge that says Philtre, not Pfizer.”

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pervicacious

pervicacious a. very obstinate

“Lucius! Lucius! Put those binoculars away and come and open the wine. Sometimes you are so exasperating with your pervicacious bird watching.”

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perturbatour

perturbatour n. a raiser of commotions

“Lotty was screaming and growling at the top of her sultry voice last night and we had complaints from people in the next village. I told them not to worry and that I was merely entertaining a perturbatour.”

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perpotation

perpotation n. the act of drinking largely

“I accidentally turned on the tele when the fucking football was on. Ye Gods, I shall have to indulge in perpotation again just to drive the tribal chanting of the hordes of neanderthals from my head.”

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peroration

peroration n. the concluding part of a speech or written discourse, summing up the points made in the earlier part

When you enter a room and all you hear is, “… and the nun said, ‘That’s why I never put a saddle on my bicycle!'”, you have chanced upon a peroration.

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perjink

perjink n. a fusspot; an ‘old maid’

“Quentin is such a perjink. I’ve just heard him whining that someone moved his stapler from an angle of 37 degrees relative to his pencil case. Don’t tell him that it was me and I do it every day.”

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pilser

pilser n. the moth or fly that runs into a candle flame (Johnson’s definition)

“Ah, Quentin, there you are. I have built a pyre, noble and high. After I set it aflame, I just need you to be my pilser, there’s a good lad.”

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perlustrate

perlustrate v. to travel through an area conducting a thorough inspection or survey

"I know you’re ticklish, my giggling Lola. But do lie still, dearest; I’m trying to perlustrate you with my lips."

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perite

perite a. skilled

“My lusty Lucia, may I say how perite you are with those luscious lips.”

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periapt

periapt n. amulet; charm worn as preservatives against diseases or mischief

"Fear not, my astounded Antoinette; the pearl periapt I have bestowed upon you will ward off any ailment or danger. It's also good for your skin."

cf. ferronière