This is an inspired short story idea from a prompt I used. There is a trigger warning for those who suffer with depression or mental illness. Please read and enjoy. Any feedback or likes would be helpful as I would like to improve my writing.
I haven't slept or ate in days. Somedays I think she's alive. That there will be the good morning text. Or even a goody snapchat. Just something to tell me that it was all an elbroate joke. Looking around the room I see the places we sat the things we did. Each passing memory flicking through my mind. Even the sweetest ones turn sour.
Pulling up my purple covers I shiver. Feeling as if her ghost is still with me. Somedays I wish it was other days I just want to forget that she ever existed. It hurts too much to think about her. My breathing has become heavier this room feels so stuffy and useless without her. Outside its raining heavily. Each drop hitting like a bullet against my window.
*Honey you have to at least try get to school" Just because we had the funeral mum thinks I've found some sort of closure.
"I can't, I'm not feeling well!" Mum is silent for a while.
"I'm sure they'll send you home."
"I said I don't feel well!" Hearing mum sigh I pull up my covers trying to hide from this dreadful world.
"Well I'm going to work call me if you need anything" Her voice is soft the way it used to be when she put me to sleep.
That was a long time ago. When me and April beleived in fairytale endings. Looking around is easier when April's photos aren't showing. I couldn't even force myself to look at the blue streaked eyes. So much pain, so much, hurt so many things I didn't know. April was the friendly type of girl. Despite looking pretty with her straight blond curls and soft rosy cheeks. April always manged to make you feel like somebody..
"I'm going to work!" Mum calls up "Text me if you need anything!"
Throwing the covers off I hear mum leave for work. Listening to the car pull out of the street
Sniffing myself I pull away. Maybe I should get a shower?
Discarding the shower I go downstairs. It's like no matter where I go or what I do there's a memory attached to everything. Bathroom was where we spent ages doing our hair. Trying on make up. In the kitchen there is the chipped mugs we made last summer. April thought it would be a good idea to take pottery as an extra hobby. What a bad idea that was
Chocking back a laugh I start to sob. Breaking down as I just cry for every memory we ever shared. April is gone and I don't know how to accept it. Since she's alive in my brain. So alive and so free.
Jumping I hear a knock as at the door. Dropping the chipped mug as it drops to the ground. Smashing into pieces. Packing I rush to the door trying my best to smile.
A guy with ginger hair and eyes of green lemon grass stands with a package in hand.
"I didn't order anything" the guy scratches his head checking the package.
"It's for a Miss Hollow" He holds out the package that's wrapped neatly in pink wrapping. Tied with a red bow.
My eyes grow wide. So many memories of Christmases, Birthdays and friendversarys flash through my mind.
"Um miss do you still want it?" He takes my head shake as a no.
"Wait!, I meant yes, I want it" He hands it me tipping his hat as he goes. Even though he didn't know it. I knew it was April. From the neat wrapping to the fancy old fashioned handwriting.
It says it was sent the day before she died. I rip the tag off scrunching it in my palma. Throwing it in the bin. Reading the note carefully.
If you receive this I'm sorry it must mean you know I succeeded. My intention was to never hurt you. But I promise I'm in a better place. Having tea with Satan. Since I hear God don't let the sucidel people through his holy gates.
Kissing the note softly I slip it in the pocket of my oversized grey hoodie. Seeing the words on the page hits a new level. Like I don't have to process it as much. Carefully I unwrap the parcal. Sniffing the bow. It smells of her strawberry scented perfume. Staring back at me I see our memory book. It's decorated with pictures of us and stickers.
Flipping it open I take the time to look through each page not wanting to overlook anything. There's the tickets to our first football game. Which we both hated so much. Both agreeing that watching it wasn't as fun as playing it.. There's also our first ever school photos. It's as if my whole bank of memories are on this very page.
I wonder how many days and hours this took. Its not just a simple note book. It's hand made and colourful. Filled with who she was and what her dreams were. Inside one of the lilac purple pockets is her friendship necklace. Dangling it in front of me it catchs the light. Clinking together it creates a silver heart. Checking the other pocket I pull out the key. Opening the locket to find five year old versions of us.
Shutting the book I smile for the first time in weeks. Putting the memories to bed for now. Knowing that no matter how much I miss, loved and cherished April. It doesn't mean I can't forgive her and it certainly doesn't mean I have to forget her. Sweeping up the mug I put it on the counter. Deciding to keep the handle part as a memory I can revist.
My phone rings playing April's favriote song bad day. I click answer.
"Hey mum I'm going to get ready for school" Allowing my one last tear to dry up.