911 we have an emergency⊠my soul is dying

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@wordsofaworld
911 we have an emergency⊠my soul is dying
One thing about valuing yourselfâŠ
To value yourself is to put effort into you.
It is doing the thing youâve been putting off all day.
It is thinking positive thoughts about yourself.
Not comparing yourself to others or thinking other people are better than you.
It is looking in the mirror and saying Iâm frickin beautiful.
There is no one like me.
My spirit is unmatched.
The time and effort I am putting into myself is returning to me in my favour.
When you value yourself, you feel good.
You feel confident.
You give to yourself first.
Godâs timing is everything.
Now, I only see energy
I no longer see people
Their physicality
Their concrete demeanour
Energy is the way that we express ourselves
And I want my energy to make me brighter
I want it to flow freely from the well
To shine through my eyes and burst out of my skin
I want it to exist outside of me
Not trapped inside
And to do that I need to escape from the walls that have been trapping me
So for now I will take myself outside the box
The prison sentence that is a life society wants you to live
And by being an âoutcastâ of society
I will find the well
The source
The place where happiness is given out for free.
POV: you find your healthy coping mechanisms again
Nothing feels the same
I donât feel like me when I hear my name
All my clothes I want to sell
Pack up and go
Get out of this hell
Life without you is not one I journeyed to
You drove me to the woods
And said Iâm done with you.
Officially not holding on to all this extra baggage anymore.
A room full of clothes I donât wear.
Boxes full of things I havenât touched in years.
All this stuff taking up space in my life.
And donât get me started about the inner baggage.
The fears and the worries and the sadness.
The insecurity and limiting beliefs.
Some things are going for free.
Selling the rest of my belongings and going to start a new life.
Well, maybe not an entirely new life.
I donât plan on running from my problems, just taking them to a nicer place where I have the freedom to deal with them.
Less weight on my back.
More earth to breathe in.
Look how you got me now
Sitting on the curb
Feeling the cold on a summer night
Burning my lungs
As I stare at the blank screen
Wishing for the time we are losing out on
Life is so short
And there is no other way I would like to spend this time
Than getting to know you again
But for now Iâll get to know myself.
Iâm trying not to bother you
But I really miss you
I miss the way you laugh
And how your eyes sparkle when you feel love
I miss the way your heart lights up when youâre in a playful mood
I miss being together
Being silly
Working our way around each otherâs bodies
Holding on so tight
I swear to you
When you need a place to rest
I will leave the lights on for you
And guide you home.
So here I am
Letting the universe lead me to new places
New hobbies
Trying to set free the words that have been lost in me
The fire that went cold
The volcano ready to erupt
Letting the sun be the sun
And the moon be the moon
Putting the time and effort into myself
So that when the eclipse comes
I will stand before it and say
What a wonderful world it is
Letâs shine together.
Lost Today
What's ours will always be ours
I wear the memories around my neck
And take them with me everywhere I go
In my dreams I meet you again
And when I wake
I know
What I have to do
I have to take my lost self and jump the bridge
I have to find myself
So for now,
Even though we are apart,
I will hold your heart in mine and think of the good
Because good is what you have left me with
So much hope and purpose
Until we meet again my love.
Every night I brace myself for the impact of when I wake the next morning
When the realisation hits me that we are not together anymore
That you are not there to comfort me
We do not make each other laugh
We do not stay up all night discussing every small detail of our lives and our childhoods
We do not explore each others souls
We do not get lost in each others eyes
We do not balance each other out, me always cold and you always warm
We do not feel safe anymore
We do not feel comfortable
I brace myself to live with this discomfort
Knowing I did every last thing I could to give you what you need
But I cannot fix you
Those who are broken can only fix themselves
Only with the support of others
Every night I brace myself
With the idea that tomorrow
I can no longer support you.
On the days where my problems bear the weight of the world
And I simply cannot carry them
I take my unsteady legs
My quivering lip
And anxious fists
And walk into my fathers open arms
So that he can talk me off the ledge
Over and over again
He saves me
He protects my heart and steadies my mind
Always saying the right thing
My dad was made for me
He is my crutch
He teaches me to walk again.
26/05/16
My heart is a wasteland
A lonely forest
I fall in love with pitiful things and take them in
But they donât even know I keep to myself, I stay silent
Yet I wonder why nothing loves me back
My heart sheds pieces everywhere
But itâs never found a home
5 Years later I found my heart a home
I found you
My heart will always belong to you.
âIâm somewhere outside my life babe,
I keep scratching but somehow,
I canât get inâ
- Hozier
Paris is classy - elegant - sexy - if you wear it right you will stand out from the crowd
Paris does not follow trends
Itâs material does not wear down after a few washes
It is always there
Returning every summer
Always in my mind
Paris is soft velvet petals on red roses
Joy hidden in anger hidden in beauty
Paris is the natural glow shining off your cheeks
Paris is pretty dresses and messy hair
The texture of lace and cashmere
It is a warm bed and a beating heart
The only thing I love more than ParisâŠ
Is being in love, in Paris
They say you should never love a man more than you love yourself
Because in the end, you will lose yourself
But with you
I was myself
And I wanted to make the world a better place just so you could live in it
Just to make your life better
To see you smile
Loving you gave me everything I ever needed
And you gave me that love in return
And I felt so complete
I know we had our ups and downs
I did the best I could at the time
But Iâm still here fighting
Fighting for a world with you in it
But you gave up on us.