@wordsthatmakealife - Tumblr Blog

Maybe just maybe I suck as a person and the reason things that are "unfair" happen to me is actually because I deserve to feel this way. Maybe I deserve to feel small and uncomfortable. I would think by now that would be the comfort for me since I've always been the outcast. Maybe if I just push inward and stop being me then life will be easier. If I just focus on being better and doing better then a better opportunity will come my way. Seeking happiness will literally be my demise.

xanaxfarts

Japanese Wisteria (Wisteria floribunda 'Alba')

gentle-cottage

perriaeyjeve

It needs to be severed. Being with someone who is incapable of caring is not how I want my life. I will figure this out but it will be hard. Steps for myself will begin as soon as possible. Secure a new home for us. Maybe sell my car for something more affordable although then I risk having something unreliable. I'll need to pack and that's what I dislike the most.

Sometimes it's like the effort is not there at all. I'm the giver of all and the reciever of the bare minimum. I feel so overwhelmed in all I do and then completely underwhelmed in all I receive. I tell myself that doing more and being more is okay because it makes me feel good. I frequently find it's not true because it makes me feel unappreciated to always receive so little. Anyone have a recommendation for what I can do? I've tried doing less and it's not in me.

chronicillnesshumor-deactivated

volatilevale

"in another life" if you didn't want me in this one i'm not interested in whether you'd want me in any other

How fucked up am I? You broke some dishes out of anger and frustration I wasn't at all scared. I just didn't want to have to clean up the mess.

Drunk on Halloween in a room by myself. Oops I'm in a relationship with someone who doesn't realize I should be naked right now.

Life has been life lately. Documenting everyday is for people who are good at being consistent. I am trying my best each day. I tried a little less today at work but that's another battle. I think I need to convince myself I like my job and maybe then I'll be less miserable.

emotionalwords

I regret every time I let someone know me too much.

I'm tired of hearing I'm stupid every day by this dumb ass man.

Day 8 - October 16th 2025

Today was a day. Work was very slow. Glad to have breaks throughout the day but it wasn't necessarily fun. Coming home to the man being a grumpy ass was frustrating. Straight up asked him why he's been so mean to which he said he doesn't feel good so that's probably why. I don't get to use that as an excuse but he has double standards for himself. Not really worth the argument this time. The kids were pretty good until bedtime. I lost it on them and busted their asses. They were told multiple times to go to sleep. They kept getting up because they thought I was outside but I was in the basement. I even told them I was in the basement. I feel bad but at the same time just do what you're told. I'm being nicer in the evenings but I did yell a few times out of frustration.

leahberman

garden rain

instagram - twitter - website

Day 7 - October 15th 2025

Today was a hard day. It didn't necessarily start out that way. The middle wasn't too hateful. Unfortunately, everything I have said this entire evening has been the wrong thing. He flies off the handle at any statement I make. I feel like I can't speak to him. I wish I could talk to him without him being so awful. He tells me I'm the problem but the more I work on myself and try to be better the more I notice he doesn't. The more he seems bothered by everything that I do.

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