love and dirt

I'm gonna cry a lot but that's okay- maybe i write, maybe i don't

[worm-obsession]

do you really love me??

[worm-obsession]

when i'm awake at night i think of you. all the times i've wronged you and all the times you've wronged me. and though i know you've hurt me more, i can't help but think about how much better your life would be without me

[worm-obsession]

do i shower now??? or wait??? or just not showet today??? i showered yesterday but i also got vey dirty so???

[hungwy]

they should make rats bigger. i think it would be fine

[worm-obsession]

i have good news!!!

[worm-obsession]

last night i had nightmares. some were random and some were of my love. i'm so scared he'll get hurt and i'm so scared he'll hurt me again. i can't do anything more right, but i'm trying to be the best, i'm trying to keep him in an okay mental state so he doesn't relapse into destructive habits. he assures me he won't, but you can never really expect it

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Ever since I gained weight I

No longer have to carry a jacket everywhere

Don’t have to wear 2 pairs of socks to keep my toesy wosies warm

No longer anemic

My tush is cushy to sit on

Being skinny was actually a lousy experience and we really need to change the culture encouraging it

[amoying]

*breaks the law* *duct tapes it back together*

[worm-obsession]

how do you??? tell someone that their dick is small?? i was vibing w this guy who kept bragging abt having an 8 inch cock and then he got stoned and whipped it out and i like,,, had to keep myself from laughing it was like m a y b e 5 inches at the absolute most

[worm-obsession]

i want to fall asleep under a tree and have the earth encase me, i want people to stumble over me thinking i'm just a large tree root. i want to wake up centuries later with flowers pokes through my skin and my bones replaced with branches. i want to fade into the earth

[worm-obsession]

mmm i just got tested for covid and it felt! awful! literally they stick a lil plastic stick up ya nose, wiggle it for like 10 secs, the do da other side and it's! just! awful! hmng

[blackingzz]

[cross-leggeddefiance]

You NEEDED Mermen of color on your dash, you just didn’t know it.

[glam-pire]

no I did

[chubbycartwheels]

Now my tumblr is perfect.

[worm-obsession]

i've been writing my bf little paragraphs to send him every morning but like?? idk if he likes them? he only responds to them sometimes and even then it feels lacking? idk if i'm just fucking anxious or if he's annoyed with me. i think i'm gonna lay off the lovey stuff besides in response for a while bc i don't want him to do what he normally does and piss off when i try too hard (bc f u c k i n g anxiety makes me)

[worm-obsession]

tw: internalized transphobia? relatively intense

internalized fucking transphobia isn't cool. i'm trans, ftm, and if i'm using say, a dating app or something i never ever correct the people i meet on my identity a pronouns bc i'm so incredibly terrified that if i do any chances of us even talking or being friends will go out the window. my almost constant inner dialogue is based around how i should be cis and maybe it's just a phase and how i'm such an abomination for wanting to be something that i wasnt born into and i hate it so much that i'm not cis it gives me panic attacks so often because i've managed to convince myself that if i just keep wearing feminine clothes and trying to look feminine that maybe i'll end up as having had just a phase but at the same time i have such such awful dysphoria all the time bc of it. but bc of what i've been told my whole life by so many people about how i look so nice in feminine clothes and how i should just be happy with the body i have i simply can't figure out how to be comfortable as trans man without constantly beating my own ass about it

[worm-obsession]

i really like the concept that villains smile like a lot, but not in an obviously villainous way but just, subtle differences. like maybe they use just a bit too much teeth, or the corners of their eyes scrunch up just a lil too long after the smile has started as if they had to remind themselves that the entire face needs to work together to seems genuine. maybe when they smile their eyes don't sparkle, they seem just as dead as always even with the facial movements surrounding. i especially especially like the concept that they d o find joy in things, like small children playing games or babbling about their hobbies, or young people helping old people across the road. maybe they feel pure pure joy when they find just the right flavour of cake, getting almost too happy to make up for all the moments they're angry and upset. i love the concept that villains want people to be happy! they've just been damaged and simply don't realize the right way to do it. i want villains to go into fits of rage at the government, completely forgetting about the innocent people around until after when they snap out of it and rather than run away and plot more they do their best to help the people who'd gotten hurt. i just,,,, love villains

[worm-obsession]

just!!! thinking!!! about!!! him!!! makes!!! me!!! breathless!!!

[worm-obsession]

just a heads up, for the next forever this is just gonna be dedicated to fawning over my love so go ahead nd follow me for wholesome mlm material :))

[worm-obsession]

i love my bf so so much there's been a lot that's happened (this is like our 3rd time dating bc of outside issues) and i'm!! so!! proud!! of!! him!! i just wanna kiss him kithkith leetle bear man