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I PROMISE NOT TO SELL YOUR PERFUMED SECRETS — an independent affiliated muse based in a 90′s record store, inspired by empire records and every other 90′s movie ever made. 18+. loved by dee. carrd. self promo. starry's records.

#＊ PINNED POST .

hey y’all! i’m moving tommy to @bonesnomarrow !!!

aphorysms

hello everyone! here’s an activity update + temp blogroll. my health has been very very iffy lately so muse and motivation has been equally iffy. luv u guys. ur always free to add me on disk chord at DEETDOTORG#1887 <3

@wornvans ; hiatus.

@angelpunkd ; hiatus.

@cryptozooliver ; hiatus ( sort of moved. )

@shesould ; medium actitvity, high muse.

@tooksoul ; permanent low activity.

@soughtjustice ; medium activity, high muse.

ladies a nd gentleman: him.

#him <3 #also sorry for being absent i've been preoccupied w vivienne but i'll return soon #＊ REWINDING THE TAPE — OUT OF CHARACTER .

aphorysms

I PROMISE you guys i’m alive i just haven’t had much muse for anyone besides @shesould i am not gonna lie but i’ll be back soon hopefully <333

shesould

I’M A CONCRETE GIRL IN A CAVITY WORLD !

independent demon muse exploring what happens when you accidentally sell your soul to the devil. penned by dee. 18+

#she.#–– SELF PROMO .

i just know tommy has a small furby collection

#i just know he does #＊ REWINDING THE TAPE — OUT OF CHARACTER .

imameme-youreameme

autumn sentence starters.

for multi-muse blogs, specify which muse.

“you have pumpkin spice latte on your upper lip.”

“it’s chilly outside, make sure you grab a light jacket.”

“there’s nothing like watching the leaves changing colour.”

“prepare yourself, yoga pants season is here.”

“so, pumpkin patch this year for halloween?”

“it’s fall, which means it’s time for boots, pea coats and all the fedoras in the world.”

“this is my favourite time of year. it’s not too hot, not too cold and beauty all around.”

“goodbye summer, until next year.”

“you know what would be really, really fun? riding a hot air balloon.”

“i saw an orchard a few miles back. we should go pick apples some day.”

“we should totally go on a road trip before it gets too, too cold.”

“i know you just raked these leaves into these nice piles, but i’m going to fall into it now.”

“we should rent a cabin in the mountains, get away from the city life for a week or two.”

“i’ve been feeling like betty crocker all day, so, i baked a pie. tell me how it tastes.”

“let’s make candy apples and destroy the kitchen, like when we were little.”

“have you decided on what you want to be for halloween yet?”

“is nightmare before christmas a halloween or christmas movie?”

“i’m having a pumpkin carving party at my place for halloween. you should come.”

“we should go to a winery. drink some wine, find out how it’s made. it would be fun.”

“i’m going to take up knitting. or crocheting. i feel like it would be fun.”

#＊ INBOX MEMES .

“ bleach is an incredibly underrated record and i will die on that hill ! ” you don’t have to, kid. because literally everyone loves that record. “ i mean, c’mon, nirvana’s cover of love buzz ? absolutely wild ! the bass line with the distortion, the little — ” cue a terrible impression of the guitar riff that plays during the hook. “ it’s just so rad ! and i think kurt is handsome as hell. and i’m not just saying that because everyone and their mom thinks i look like him. it’s just a coincidence. ”

@arachfreak liked this post for a starter !

#there he is. my boy.#arachfreak #＊ CLOSED STARTERS .

“ see, britpop isn’t my thing. i’m not saying it’s bad, no, not at all — i think it’s great ! but it’s not my thing, you know ? anyways. park life by blur is an exception. you play girls & boys and suddenly i’m on the highest surface doing a little dance. i think damon albarn is a genius, even though it’s like ... i don’t dig his stuff that much. i definitely think elastica is under rated, but man. park life ... that whole album gets me acting different. ”

@levelledworld liked this post for a starter where tommy says stuff about things !

#SEE I THOUGHT THIS WAS FUNNY #BC DAMON IS IN GORILLAZ #SO META SO COOL THIRD EYE OPENED #levelledworld #＊ CLOSED STARTERS .

“ trompe le monde is not the best work by the pixies, but it’s my favorite album. and you know why ? ” no, tommy. we don’t know why. go on. “ because in planet of sound, francis’ voice is all wobbly. it sounds kind of like when you shake laminated paper. and also, like, there’s a whole song on the album about an alien crash landing. motorway to roswell is literally just about some little green dude having some car problems. you really can’t get any better than that ! anyways, i like the idea of aliens having very annoying issues like car problems. makes me relate to them a little more. ”

@evilsded liked this post to hear tommy say things <3

#i just let him speak #he just says things and i let him #＊ CLOSED STARTERS .#evilsded

anyways like this for a starter centered around tommy talking nonsense about his favorite records <3

#i miss tommy so so much #＊ STARTER CALL .

littlelovelymemes

✰ — — * PARKS & RECREATION SENTENCE STARTERS

‘ i tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and i broke everything. ’ ‘ i typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems. ’ ‘ there’s only one thing i hate more than lying: skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk. ’ ‘ don’t be such a baby. i cooked you some bacon for a trail snack. ’ ‘ i really only listen to german death reggae and halloween sound effects records from the 1950s. ’ ‘ whenever she asks me for the latin names of any of our plants, i just give her the names of rappers. ’ ‘ i once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks. ’ ‘ i didn’t actually sell my last car, i just forgot where i parked it. ’ ‘ i don’t know who al gore is and at this point i’m too afraid to ask. ’ ‘ when they say 2% milk, i don’t know what they other 98% is. ’ ‘ i’ve only slept nine hours over the past four days so i’m right on the verge of a nervous breakdown. ’ ‘ upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me. ’ ‘ since i am not a rabbit, no, i do not want a salad. ’ ‘ you’re like an angel with no wings. ’ ‘ oh my god you have to stop using the word ‘nipple.’ ’ ‘ you’re right, i know. i have to be a grown up… but it’s so hard! ’ ‘ i was reading an encyclopedia and i tripped or ‘fell over’ and hit my head. or ‘brain helmet.’ ’ ‘ oh my god, your boobs are dead. ’ ‘ i have a medical condition, alright! it’s called caring too much and it’s incurable! ’ ‘ he put all my records into this rectangle! the songs just play one right after the other! this is an excellent rectangle! ’ ‘ if i keep my body moving and my mind occupied at all times, i will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair. ’ ‘ guys love it when you can show them you’re better than they are at something they love. ’ ‘ jogging is the worst. i mean, i know it keeps you healthy, but god, at what cost? ’ ‘ i have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life. ’ ‘ i know this and i love you. ’ ‘ that’s too much responsibility. i gotta find a way out of this. ’ ‘ you are a wonderful person. your friendship means a lot to me and you look very beautiful. ’ ‘ i was kind of getting sick of listening to them talk about their relationship, but then i remembered that alcohol existed. ’ ‘ i got stung once and i’m immune. go ahead and sting me, bees! it does nothing! ’ ‘ i’m not afraid of cops! i have no reason to be. i never break any laws, ever… because i’m deathly afraid of cops. ’ ‘ i’m fine. it’s just that life is pointless and nothing matters and i’m always tired. ’ ‘ there will be alcohol there, so i will go as well. ’ ‘ i can’t go because i don’t want to. ’ ‘ i’m just gonna stay angry, i find that relaxes me! ’ ‘ i don’t want to seem overdramatic, but i don’t really care what happens here. ’ ‘ i’m just gonna leave early and go home. ’ ‘ if any of you need anything at all, too bad. ’ ‘ you have never been neutral on anything in your life. you have an opinion on pockets. ’ ‘ dance up on me! ’ ‘ i have an idea, it’s very uncool. it’s not illegal, technically. but it is a dick move. ’ ‘ one time my refrigerator stopped working. i didn’t know what to do. i just moved. ’ ‘ you’re stupid and you’re drunk and you’re stupid. ’ ‘ you don’t even know one thing. i didn’t even say one thing and then she asked me the whole thing and i didn’t even do it once. ’ ‘ i’m like an elephant, okay? if i walk into a room, it’s like, ‘oh he’s in there.’ ’ ‘ bababooey. ’ ‘ mac and cheese pizza?! you’re making that?! ’ ‘ i was dying earlier today. and then i died. now i’m dead. ’ ‘ the only thing i will be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother! ’ ‘ i don’t want to be overdramatic, but today felt like 100 years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life. ’ ‘ i have been kind of tense lately. just thinking about the new star wars sequel. ’ ‘ it does look sad. kind of. sorry for stepping on you, floor. ’ ‘ if you rearrange the letters of peru, you can spell europe. ’ ‘ you’re as guilty as you are sexy. ’ ‘ this maze is like a maze. ’ ‘ sometimes when i blow my nose, i get a boner. i don’t know why. it just happens. ’ ‘ so i feel like you were mad at me yesterday and i don’t know why so i made a list of everything i did and i’m gonna try not to do any of them again. ’ ‘ no, i’m not crying, okay? i’m allergic to jerks! ’ ‘ i don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are… actually, it’s going to bug me if i don’t. ’ ‘ with all due respect, you’re a major dick. ’ ‘ the calzones… betrayed me? ’ ‘ who hasn’t had gay thoughts? ’ ‘ do you think a depressed person could make this? no! ’ ‘ i like your energy. what do you say you and i ride go-karts later? ’ ‘ three words: treat. yo. self. ’ ‘ treat yo self. it’s the best day of the year! ’ ‘ i’ll tell you what. here’s the deal. if you get fired, i’ll quit, and we’ll leave together. i’m serious! move to a new city, change our names… burn our fingertips off with acid… swap faces… if we have to. ’ ‘ monsters don’t have souls? uh, have you seen monsters inc? ’ ‘ i make my money the old fashioned way: i got run over by a lexus. ’ ‘ i took this thing called ‘zapvigil’ which apparently is what israeli fighter pilots use to stay awake so… right now it looks like i’m talking to a giant crab. stay away from me crab! ’ ‘ well, you suck at being polite, sir. ’ ‘ at one point, for no reason, i just took off my shoes and held them in my hand. ’ ‘ three, two, one, and my shift’s over… what the fuck is your problem?! ’ ‘ math is worthless in real life. i mean, there’s an app for calculating tips. that’s all you need. ’ ‘ your house isn’t haunted, you’re lonely. ’ ‘ just because i can’t go out with him, someone else can? wow. ’ ‘ oh, this is bad. i should not have done this. ’ ‘ she’s the worst person i’ve ever met. i want to travel the world with her. ’ ‘ no, no, no, no. i’m not lonely. i have me. ’ ‘ i love watching russian traffic accidents on youtube while i play children’s music at the wrong rpm. ’ ‘ god, i am so annoyed that he would hypothetically do that. ’ ‘ you beautiful, rule-breaking moth. ’ ‘ you beautiful, naive, sophisticated newborn baby. ’ ‘ you beautiful tropical fish. ’ ‘ hope no one minds if i livetweet this bitch! ’ ‘ i just want to hear the doctor say that he had a fart attack. is that too much to ask? ’ ‘ the only things i like are dogs and sleeping late. ’ ‘ it kind of sucks that i’m super broke and i want to buy you stuff and it’s embarrassing that i can’t. ’ ‘ i don’t want anything. i just want to hang out with you. ’ ‘ you’ve killed my spirit. my spirit’s blood is on your hands. ’ ‘ i hate people. ’ ‘ you can see the stars, which i hate. they’re creepy. ’ ‘ i will kill you slowly with a giant syringe. ’ ‘ what? i love garbage. ’ ‘ i only tell the truth when it makes me sound like i’m lying. ’ ‘ i want to be burned at the stake. ’ ‘ i’m going to murder you a thousand times. ’ ‘ people who buy things are suckers. ’ ‘ this is 100% certified for realskis. ’ ‘ well, if there’s anyone who can bring my parents together, it’s no one. no one can ever bring them together. ’ ‘ getting married is the bravest, most wonderful thing you can do because every day you come home and you’re just like, ‘what? it’s you! i love you! you’re my sexy roommate. we love each other.’ ’ ‘ i am 100% certain that i am 0% sure of what i’m going to do. ’ ‘ my anxiety has kept me up for over 50 hours. ’ ‘ maybe we should find the person who stole your positive attitude. ’ ‘ scientists believe that the first human being who will live 150 years has already been born. i believe i am that human being. ’ ‘ messy is fun, okay? my whole life is a giant mess and i love it. ’ ‘ friendship is better because friends help you move. they drive you to the airport. boyfriends just… love you and marry you. ’ ‘ i hope you brought a change of clothes cause your eyes are about to piss tears. ’ ‘ everything hurts and i’m dying. ’ ‘ i need you to text me every 30 seconds saying everything’s gonna be okay. ’ ‘ let me just say, from the bottom of my heart: my bad. ’ ‘ there are no consequences to my actions anymore. i’m like a white, male u.s. senator. ’ ‘ hey, are you busy? and writing star trek fan fiction does not count. ’ ‘ what do we…? like, what do we do? like, what do we do? um, how- how do we- how…? how… how… how? what do we do?! ’ ‘ oh, also, i have a little secret… i’m drunk. ’ ‘ i do say the cutest stuff. ’ ‘ i don’t want to cause a panic… news flash: we’re screwed! ’ ‘ velvet slippies, cashmere socks, velvet pants, cashmere turtle. i’m a cashmere-velvet candy cane. ’ ‘ you shut your mouth! you have all the strengths! ’ ‘ never half-ass two things. whole-ass one thing. ’ ‘ i’m a simple man. i like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food. ’ ‘ i guess i kind of hate most things, but i never really seem to hate you. ’ ‘ time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge. let’s go! ’ ‘ i have no idea what i’m doing, but i know i’m doing it really, really well. ’ ‘ ovaries before brovaries. ’ ‘ sometimes you gotta work a little so you can ball a lot. ’ ‘ i have never taken the high road, but i tell people to ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road. ’ ‘ just remember, every time you look up at the moon, i, too, will be looking at a moon. not the same moon, obviously. that’s impossible. ’ ‘ i’m just gonna go live under a bridge and ask people riddles before they cross. ’ ‘ i love games that turn people against each other. ’ ‘ i don’t care about that prize, but i’m gonna win because i want his happiness to go away. ’ ‘ that is the coolest sentence i have ever heard somebody talk. ’ ‘ i wanted to make fun of stupid people while i get drunk. my two true passions. ’ ‘ i am big enough to admit that i am often inspired by myself. ’ ‘ if i could go back in time and cut your eyeballs out, i would. ’

#＊ INBOX MEMES .

redid tommy’s carrd call that rebirth

#immediate goes back to sleep #＊ REWINDING THE TAPE — OUT OF CHARACTER .