Please no... My full name is 31 letters..
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Monterey Bay Aquarium
art blog(derogatory)
NASA

roma★
KIROKAZE

No title available
Xuebing Du
Cosmic Funnies
trying on a metaphor

Kiana Khansmith

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

#extradirty
No title available
Jules of Nature

⁂
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

ellievsbear
almost home

seen from Belgium
seen from Venezuela
seen from Jordan
seen from Chile

seen from Vietnam

seen from United Kingdom
seen from Türkiye
seen from Argentina
seen from Spain

seen from United Kingdom

seen from Iraq
seen from Poland
seen from Australia

seen from France
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Croatia
seen from Russia
seen from France
seen from Indonesia
@would-youkindly
Please no... My full name is 31 letters..
i’m gonna piss myself
EVERY FUCKING TIME
I knew it. I fucking knew it.
How a real molotov looks like compared to the one in CS:GO.
I hate you. I love you for this but I hate it at the same time.
if you don’t know the difference between a hare and a rabbit you’ve never gazed into the cold wild eyes of a hare and known that if it could speak it would speak backwards
Jack Rabbits are North American Hares and they’re the WORST to encounter at night becuase:
You all know how big a rabbit is. Jack Rabbits and hares are much bigger. they’re the size of large cats or small dogs or just-walking-age children.
They also like to hang out in gangs of a hlf dozen to over 30.
and in the middle of backcountry dirt roads.
perhaps they’re dustbathing
or blood sacrifce
I don’t know because when you come up the road at night because your dog has a tiny bladder and needs to go out at midnight and you have no yard so you’re walking him on the dirt road around your neighborhod because you might aw well get some stargazing in, and you come just over the ridge to see a coven of twenty jackrabbits in the middle of the road
and
they
all
stand
up
not just onto all fours like a proper prey animal
No they get up on thier hind legs and don’t just sit but STAND like tiny rabbit-skinned toddlers, wobbing slightly as they stare directly at you eyes shining in your flashlight’s glow
…Blood Red.
And a chill goes through you on that warm july night because while they’re a puntable size and allegedly herbivores they’re standing and watching you just like people and you are vastly outnumbered.
everyone freezes
you’re considering your odds aganst roughly 200lbs of Suspiciously Humanoid Hare
and they’re considering their odds against you
the only sound in the never-ending high desert wind
somewhere in your peripheral vision you can see the streetlights but they seem awfully far away
The nearest Jack Rabbit
Blinks
and takes a single shuffling step
forward
You area an overdevloped monkey and your prefrontal cortex is capable of some amazing feats but it runs very slowly compared to the reflexes of a rabbit and you’re frozen as you desperately scramble for the appropriate course of action, hands feeling thick and useless, mouth dry and feet imeasurably heavy there’s no way you’d outrun THESE, god there’s a rabies outbreak going around that shit’s not curable-
The Dog
L U N G E S
It’s only the briefest of movements but the animal you’d picked out for his gangly legs and floppy ears and goofy smile is suddenly a dark shape of muscle and teeth and had flung himself at the horrible goblin rabbits faster than mere physics should dictate, appearing in the circle of the flashlight for only the briefest of moments before the jolt from the leash makes you stumble and the light falters
The Jack Rabbits
Scatter
Vanishing into the faintly starlit sagebrush in as so many faint gray shapes that might be mistaken for the dustclouds they kick up
Later, you sit on the couch disquieted
and you wonder
If the sight of the Jack Rabbits standing and studying you was frightening enough to make you yearn for the safety of the yellowed streetlights
what must it be like from thier end?
what terrifying creature
deliberately ties itself
to something so horrible
As a Dog?
@gallusrostromegalus that last bit gave me such a strong mental image I absolutely had to draw it
WELL HOLY SHIT.
CONGRATULATE, THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GOING FOR.
is it ok if I print it out and stick it on the fridge?
Well this zoomed past 100K while I wasn’t looking but here’s a Picture of Charleston Chew, Terror of Wild Hares and Sometimes Bears:
I've been remembering this post for a while now and don't know if I reposted it before, but I'm not missing my chance now
My local movie theater thinks they’re hilarious
what the fuck are you talking about OP they ARE hilarious
I was scrolled three posts past this before I realized that “juggler” is a pun on jugular, not just the clown equivalent of a cleric and therefore the one that needs to die first.
Ok gang if jugglers are clerics what are the other clown type/class equivalents? - Mod Paper
Pie throwers are the rangers
Today's Gamer of the Day is: Walmart's Halloween section
ENERGY SWORD
S U N D A Y
GOD BLESS ENERGY SWORD SUNDAY
Legionnaire: Ave, true to Caesar
Courier, pulling out a weapon:
I just pull out my hunting rifle when I see them spawn in
[plunges hand into water, pulls out a live lobster, and answers it like a phone]
[places lobster gently back into the tank]
Wrong number
I remember there being a repost of this but with a comment replying something like: Because its easier to say "shotgun in the east hallway" than saying "my anxiety and ____ are ruining this relationship"
In the style of @zagreus, a shitte poste
Eleventeen
beaujester week day 3: modern au & love confession
the dumb teen romantic comedy they deserve
[ID: A three-panel comic of Beau and Jester in a highschool au setting. In the first panel, Jester is wearing a cheerleader outfit and shouting “Yeah!! Go Beau! I love you!” In the background, Caleb and Yasha are on the bleachers holding pep signs that say ‘Beau!’ and ‘Let’s go-regard!’. In the second panel Beau - wearing a sports uniform - stands stunned with several small hearts and an arrow around her head. In the third panel Beau gets hit in the face with a basketball while Jester (offscreen) shouts “Beau!! Nooooo!” /end ID]
We can call them Jeau :^)
“You are what you eat,” said The Blue Fairy, unwisely.
Pinnocchio turned sly eyes upon the elementary school.
Op do you take constructive criticism
Sure. Name one way I could have improved my two-sentence horror fanfic.
You could have created creepily drawn images to go with it
I didn't just buy this tea because it's for Men.
I also bought it because I like saying Horny Goat Weed.
While I'm certain the amount is negligible, in love with the idea of accidentally serving powerful boner tea at a fancy party.
I mean, everything I do is a joke and most things I do are a mistake, so it was bound to happen eventually.
Also the Ashwagandha herb can get you high and is known as love and pleasure endorsing
Can't wait to be fucked up and boned beyond belief on herbal tea.
types of stard
mu
ba
this is oddly close to real ‘ard’ is a real suffix in the english language just like ‘ly’ or ‘ify’, it just isnt common enough for us to notice its usage. ‘ard’ means ‘too much’ or ‘too easily’ so ‘mustard’ is something that is ‘too pungent’, just as ‘wizard’ is someone who is too wise, ‘coward’ is someone too easily cowed, and ‘drunkard’ is someone too often drunk
this implies that ‘bastard’ is someone who is too ‘bast’ and this needs experimentation and research
Are you fucking serious omg
This is pretty much correct. According to the OED bastard is from Old French and the bast- part means “pack saddle” which was used as a bed by mule drivers, giving the phrase fils de bast, a child conceived on the pack saddle instead of the marriage bed. In English it becomes bastard, the -ard being a pejorative. It is the same one as wizard and coward and drunkard.
Bards
SURPRISE
I AM CUTE BUG
Holy hell, those wings look painted, it’s got light and shadows and everything.
uropyia meticulodina
this is literally insane evolution is bonkers
millions of years of random mutations and natural selection… made a photorealistic painting…
@duwang-but-in-new-england
Wasp stings itch man. And they sting for hours before that. Seems obvious but they do
Haven't scratched an itch since I was a kid and I woke up covered in my own blood and guess what it's still just as bad an idea
I've never been stung by anything, now I reeealllyyy don't wanna be. Ever.
Read more about trilobite beetles and larva here!
Photos by melvynyeo
I will never not reblog dainty deer-stepping beetle
wanna know the best thing about these trilobite beetles?
these are all ladies.
males look like every other beetle out there, but are the same species. it was a huge mystery for the longest time what the hell a male even looked like, or if there even were males, until they issued a money reward and someone brought in a mating pair. and they couldn’t believe that they were even of the same species because of how different they look.
we have an irl species of giant monstrous ladies and tiny dainty plain males
@dovewithscales @ocoree @kantuck @carbisari character ideas
I did not know the thing about the sexual dimorphism that makes them so much more awesome
@duwang-but-in-new-england