Write Queer Characters

helping write queer characters - aro/ace inclusionists - no gatekeeping

[scriptlgbt]

Writing Trans Characters: Corrections of Common Mistakes

These are just a few quick, basic things that should be taken into account that I notice a lot of writers get wrong.

Not every trans person is “pre” or “post” HRT or surgeries. It can be pretty stigmatizing to think of trans people’s lives as part of those two categories, especially when those things have not always been part of their plan or they do not want them at all.

“About 14 percent of trans women and 72 percent of trans men said they don’t ever want full genital construction surgery.” So for the record, your trans man character who doesn’t want bottom surgery is part of the majority of trans men.

There are loads of different kinds of surgeries (even if we’re just talking about genitalia, even if we’re just talking about one type of genitalia).

“Transition” is a really vague term. It includes all sorts of things for all sorts of people, and it has no start and end date usually. It can literally be just coming out and that’s it.

“Transgendered” is not the preferred term because it is not a verb, it is an identity (an adjective).

A great guide for phrasing things in a good way is the GLAAD media guide for writing about trans people. There’s some stuff in there that’s less of a consensus within the trans communities, but it’s very minimal, and what is there is not harmful.

Do not misgender your own characters when narrating things.

“Transwomen” and  "transmen" are not the preferred wording. There is a space between them, because as mentioned earlier, trans is an adjective. These are still women and men.

There usually isn’t a reason to feature or talk about surgeries or your trans character’s body in general within the plot. This doesn’t mean “avoid it at all costs” - just ask yourself if it actually is necessary. Most people asking questions related to surgeries and the like do not actually need to include that information.

It’s a common misconception that all trans men have vaginas and all trans women have penises, are perisex etc. The people who have penises cannot be summed up by saying “trans women and cis men” because not only does that exclude a whole lot of nonbinary people, (or how everybody generally is born with a phallus, but I digress) but intersex genitalia is extremely varied, and countless trans people do undergo surgeries. Most post-op genitalia looks indistinguishable from the kind that cis people have.

Gender dysphoria =/= body hatred. Here’s a link where I explain what gender dysphoria feels like for me.

Trans people are not “born in the wrong body” (some folks may use this phrasing to explain things to cis people who have no familiarity or patience to understand).

We did not “used to be a [GAAB*]” and we are not “biologically [GAAB]” - we are who we say we are, even when we are closeted, even when our shape was different. Some folks who experience gender fluidity are different here and it’s not uniform - but it is still inappropriate for cis people to use these phrases.

he/him =/= “male pronouns” etc. Don’t gender pronouns! Not everyone who uses these pronouns is “male”.

The terms “female body” or “male body” are not helpful in explaining what a certain body is like. They have no uniform way of being, especially taking hormones, surgeries, and intersex persons into account. And if you identify as female, your body is female. It is your body.

See also:

I am transgender and I was not “born in the wrong body.” (Medium)

TRANSGENDER IS AN ADJECTIVE. NOT A NOUN. OR A VERB! (Feministing)

* GAAB = Gender Assigned At Birth

[writequeercharacters]

This is for your followers or any mod with experience but, I'm writing a story that I would like to evolve a qpp relationship between an aroace character and a straight character. I myself am part of both the aro and ace community (demiromantic ace) but have never been in a qpp relationship and would like to converse with someone with experience before writing. I can imagine it's different for everyone but I'd like some base knowlage. If anyone wants to message me about it please do!!!

Hi! Mod Arys here, I was in a qpp for a while and if you’d like me to dm you just let me know!

[writequeercharacters]

Update

Hello folx! Mod Arys finally has xyr own laptop and has installed New XKit so all asks should automatically be tagged accordingly from now on. Ask away!

[writequeercharacters]

Heya! I'm trying to write a character who gets constantly misgenders by those around her except for the narrator, her dog. Is there any way I can make it clear that the dog is in the right about calling this character "Girl" in his narration? (P.S. If this changes anything, the girl is also blind... It's an odd story.)

Hey,Thanks for writing! Personally this seems like it could go wrong really easily. I feel like it will end up playing on an uncomfortable number on stereotypes. That said, I suppose it’s possible. I’m not sure off the top of my head how you would have the dog be able to understand human gender in the first place, much less be the only one who knows the character is trans, though. I’m also uncomfortable because you chose the dog to be supportive and everyone else to misgender the character - what is the motivation there? Lastly, I’m sure this was written in good faith, but the fact that your character is disabled really changes nothing in my opinion. So basically, from what information you’ve given us, I would consider majorly changing your idea, even if you meant no harm by it. Mod Arys

[britishsass]

It’s me, again. A bit of extra stuff to this.

I’m personally trying to write a story about a 12-13 yo trans girl who has a seeing eye dog and an issue with adults who never listen to her because of who she is. This is why most of the other characters don’t listen to her about her gender: She’s young, and they think that’s why she’s wrong.

The dog is her seeing eye dog, and therefore is always around her, so I thought it would make sense if he was the one to understand her. I know it might be a bit odd, but… well, I had the idea awhile ago and I wanted to know if it’s actually accurate to real life. 

[writequeercharacters]

This sounds a little better. But it still seems like a very poor decision to write something with such negativity to the trans MC. Sure, in theory it’s accurate, but it’s a toxic stereotype.

I’m still not sure I understand why they don’t believe her. And again, dogs truly have no concept of gender, so I’m not sure how you’ll play that?

Mod Arys

[bitransautisticproud]

I actually kind of like it.

A real dog isn’t going to understand human gender, but a real dog also couldn’t narrate a book in human language, so some level of anthropomorphism can already be assumed. I can definitely picture a young trans person whispering to their dog, “I’m scared to say this, but it’s not like you could tell my parents…”

Dogs sex each other by scent, I’m pretty sure, and I’d think they would transfer that to humans when they’re kept as pets. I would guess that a perisex pretransition trans woman would be sexed as male under this system until HRT. But this is fiction and imagining a dog who understood a transgender person before anyone else is a valid escapist-type thing.

Not to mention that one story with the snake. We don’t know everything animals are capable of. For an example of how it could work with from the animal’s perspective, my body language was never feminine even long before I transitioned, so an animal that sexed humans by how they move might well have put me middling-to-male.

It’s very true to life for parents and other adults to dismiss young trans people. Of course there are exceptions, but it’s not exactly unusual for a parent to not be accepting. Even people who support adult trans people often assume that young trans people are just curious, shouldn’t make such a drastic decision (public and/or medical transition) before they’re adults, etc.

Representing that isn’t a stereotype. Showing trans people struggling with their relationships with their parents is important. I would be inclined to say it’s probably a bad idea to make a YA tragedy novel with the premise, because “the only option for trans kids with non-accepting parents is suicide” is a distressingly prevalent belief within the community (not even really a stereotype? it’s internal, and based in very real and very painful experience) and challenging it is important, but if the ending is hopeful, it really doesn’t seem like a problem.

It seems significant that this child is disabled. Disabled children (with all kinds of disabilities, not just cognitive ones) are assumed to mature more slowly than their abled peers. And I would guess it’s a lot harder to figure out whether you’ll pass if you’re blind, among other things.

Add in the classic “child and pet against the world” trope and you’ve got a solid start to a contemporary coming-of-age novel.

[writequeercharacters]

Hey!

I’m going to try to address your points in order.

You are right in that dogs can’t actually narrate stories. I just didn’t understand how they planned to have the dog narrate, so it made the idea less concrete and consequently less likely to work.

Yes, I meant representing the struggles of a trans character using a tragedy. And unfortunately I think it’s very easy to accidentally turn a realistic YA novel into a tragedy. I’m not saying trans youth shouldn’t be represented — that’s the antithesis of this entire blog.

Again, ableism is of course a very real and valid thing. But like we recommend with trans characters, be wary of overstepping or stereotyping if you’re writing a story with a blind MC when you’re not blind. Thirty seconds of research won’t be enough for that.

Thanks so much for your reblog!

Mod Arys

[writequeercharacters]

May I add something on? Addressing the issue of the misgendering trope potentially being toxic- I feel like in keeping the concept of a story about hope for the trans girl to be accepted, there could be a few characters who gender her correctly. Instead of it being constant, have someone as a sympathizer. Children around her age in particular might be receptive to accepting both her gender and her with her disability. The dog could also communicate with their dogs potentially, if you want to go that route. “That’s my human- she’s a little girl. She told me so herself.” - Mod Silvia

[writequeercharacters]

Heya! I'm trying to write a character who gets constantly misgenders by those around her except for the narrator, her dog. Is there any way I can make it clear that the dog is in the right about calling this character "Girl" in his narration? (P.S. If this changes anything, the girl is also blind... It's an odd story.)

Hey,Thanks for writing! Personally this seems like it could go wrong really easily. I feel like it will end up playing on an uncomfortable number on stereotypes. That said, I suppose it’s possible. I’m not sure off the top of my head how you would have the dog be able to understand human gender in the first place, much less be the only one who knows the character is trans, though. I’m also uncomfortable because you chose the dog to be supportive and everyone else to misgender the character - what is the motivation there? Lastly, I’m sure this was written in good faith, but the fact that your character is disabled really changes nothing in my opinion. So basically, from what information you’ve given us, I would consider majorly changing your idea, even if you meant no harm by it. Mod Arys

[britishsass]

It’s me, again. A bit of extra stuff to this.

I’m personally trying to write a story about a 12-13 yo trans girl who has a seeing eye dog and an issue with adults who never listen to her because of who she is. This is why most of the other characters don’t listen to her about her gender: She’s young, and they think that’s why she’s wrong.

The dog is her seeing eye dog, and therefore is always around her, so I thought it would make sense if he was the one to understand her. I know it might be a bit odd, but… well, I had the idea awhile ago and I wanted to know if it’s actually accurate to real life. 

[writequeercharacters]

This sounds a little better. But it still seems like a very poor decision to write something with such negativity to the trans MC. Sure, in theory it’s accurate, but it’s a toxic stereotype.

I’m still not sure I understand why they don’t believe her. And again, dogs truly have no concept of gender, so I’m not sure how you’ll play that?

Mod Arys

[bitransautisticproud]

I actually kind of like it.

A real dog isn’t going to understand human gender, but a real dog also couldn’t narrate a book in human language, so some level of anthropomorphism can already be assumed. I can definitely picture a young trans person whispering to their dog, “I’m scared to say this, but it’s not like you could tell my parents…”

Dogs sex each other by scent, I’m pretty sure, and I’d think they would transfer that to humans when they’re kept as pets. I would guess that a perisex pretransition trans woman would be sexed as male under this system until HRT. But this is fiction and imagining a dog who understood a transgender person before anyone else is a valid escapist-type thing.

Not to mention that one story with the snake. We don’t know everything animals are capable of. For an example of how it could work with from the animal’s perspective, my body language was never feminine even long before I transitioned, so an animal that sexed humans by how they move might well have put me middling-to-male.

It’s very true to life for parents and other adults to dismiss young trans people. Of course there are exceptions, but it’s not exactly unusual for a parent to not be accepting. Even people who support adult trans people often assume that young trans people are just curious, shouldn’t make such a drastic decision (public and/or medical transition) before they’re adults, etc.

Representing that isn’t a stereotype. Showing trans people struggling with their relationships with their parents is important. I would be inclined to say it’s probably a bad idea to make a YA tragedy novel with the premise, because “the only option for trans kids with non-accepting parents is suicide” is a distressingly prevalent belief within the community (not even really a stereotype? it’s internal, and based in very real and very painful experience) and challenging it is important, but if the ending is hopeful, it really doesn’t seem like a problem.

It seems significant that this child is disabled. Disabled children (with all kinds of disabilities, not just cognitive ones) are assumed to mature more slowly than their abled peers. And I would guess it’s a lot harder to figure out whether you’ll pass if you’re blind, among other things.

Add in the classic “child and pet against the world” trope and you’ve got a solid start to a contemporary coming-of-age novel.

[writequeercharacters]

Hey!

I'm going to try to address your points in order.

You are right in that dogs can't actually narrate stories. I just didn't understand how they planned to have the dog narrate, so it made the idea less concrete and consequently less likely to work.

Yes, I meant representing the struggles of a trans character using a tragedy. And unfortunately I think it's very easy to accidentally turn a realistic YA novel into a tragedy. I'm not saying trans youth shouldn't be represented — that's the antithesis of this entire blog.

Again, ableism is of course a very real and valid thing. But like we recommend with trans characters, be wary of overstepping or stereotyping if you're writing a story with a blind MC when you're not blind. Thirty seconds of research won't be enough for that.

Thanks so much for your reblog!

Mod Arys

[writequeercharacters]

Heya! I'm trying to write a character who gets constantly misgenders by those around her except for the narrator, her dog. Is there any way I can make it clear that the dog is in the right about calling this character "Girl" in his narration? (P.S. If this changes anything, the girl is also blind... It's an odd story.)

Hey,Thanks for writing! Personally this seems like it could go wrong really easily. I feel like it will end up playing on an uncomfortable number on stereotypes. That said, I suppose it’s possible. I’m not sure off the top of my head how you would have the dog be able to understand human gender in the first place, much less be the only one who knows the character is trans, though. I’m also uncomfortable because you chose the dog to be supportive and everyone else to misgender the character - what is the motivation there? Lastly, I’m sure this was written in good faith, but the fact that your character is disabled really changes nothing in my opinion. So basically, from what information you’ve given us, I would consider majorly changing your idea, even if you meant no harm by it. Mod Arys

[britishsass]

It’s me, again. A bit of extra stuff to this.

I’m personally trying to write a story about a 12-13 yo trans girl who has a seeing eye dog and an issue with adults who never listen to her because of who she is. This is why most of the other characters don’t listen to her about her gender: She’s young, and they think that’s why she’s wrong.

The dog is her seeing eye dog, and therefore is always around her, so I thought it would make sense if he was the one to understand her. I know it might be a bit odd, but… well, I had the idea awhile ago and I wanted to know if it’s actually accurate to real life. 

[writequeercharacters]

This sounds a little better. But it still seems like a very poor decision to write something with such negativity to the trans MC. Sure, in theory it's accurate, but it's a toxic stereotype.

I'm still not sure I understand why they don't believe her. And again, dogs truly have no concept of gender, so I'm not sure how you'll play that?

Mod Arys

[writequeercharacters]

Mod Mickey Intro

Hey, I'm Mickey! I'm 23, polyamorous (polyfidelitous), pansexual, and genderqueer/lunarian. My pronouns are she/her or they/them. I'm in a closed triad relationship with a panromantic demisexual girl and a cishet man (both of whom are wonderful human beans). I'm very openly queer in a very conservative Christian area so I've experienced a lot. I'm here to answer any questions and give any advice that I'm able to!

You can also hit up my personal relationship blog, @an-unconventional-family, for polyam-specific stories, answers, and advice from my girlfriend and I!

[writequeercharacters]

Heya! I'm trying to write a character who gets constantly misgenders by those around her except for the narrator, her dog. Is there any way I can make it clear that the dog is in the right about calling this character "Girl" in his narration? (P.S. If this changes anything, the girl is also blind... It's an odd story.)

Hey,Thanks for writing! Personally this seems like it could go wrong really easily. I feel like it will end up playing on an uncomfortable number on stereotypes. That said, I suppose it's possible. I'm not sure off the top of my head how you would have the dog be able to understand human gender in the first place, much less be the only one who knows the character is trans, though. I'm also uncomfortable because you chose the dog to be supportive and everyone else to misgender the character - what is the motivation there? Lastly, I'm sure this was written in good faith, but the fact that your character is disabled really changes nothing in my opinion. So basically, from what information you've given us, I would consider majorly changing your idea, even if you meant no harm by it. Mod Arys

[writequeercharacters]

Mod Silvia intro

Hi everyone! I’m Silvia and I’m bigender and bi/plysexual. I’m over 17 and I like cats. I hope I can help with advice. And thanks to Arys for allowing me to join. :)

I may sign my posts with Silvia, Vi, Silv, or a variety.

[writequeercharacters]

I've been thinking of writing a character who's trans & I wanted to avoid overdoing it. My idea was for her to get close to another character and they both talk about their rough pasts (her family is unaccepting of anything different, his dad became distant after his mom "died"/left). Would it be okay for her to say something like "I could never be the son my father wanted, and he hated me for it" to hint at it without being over the top?

(trans girl Anon) I was also planning to include things like other girls teaching her how to braid her hair and things like that. Small hints but not in your face/performative/etc. Is that okay? Or do I need to take a different approach? I'm not trans myself but I'm friends with a few and I want to have a trans character who's relatable and able to be empathized with. Am I doing this wrong? Mod Arys says: It runs the risk of being stereotypical, but it doesn't seem bad in itself!

[writequeercharacters]

I'm writing about a trans boy in Canada (Edmonton, Alberta specifically) and I can't find info of testosterone and surgerys or any transition things in general. Any tips?

Credits to @wetwareproblem for this answer.Your best bet is to look into how to get an appointment with their mental health system.Mod Arys

ETA: http://www.phsa.ca/transcarebc/ is a good place to start. Alberta is ~3h away from BC, and BC is seen as excellent (by Canadian standards, at least, not sure otherwise).

[writequeercharacters]

queenkamukura replied to your post:

fair, i was aware that the phrasing wasn't great, but i think having a trans person tell another character their birthname/pronouns is a bad route to go as well. i think anyway of having a trans character explain trans identity, if not written by a trans writer, is going to be somewhat problematic; maybe just stick to "i'm trans, my name and pronouns are x'

Mod Arys says: Well, I read the ask assuming that the character had been known by their dead name previously. Otherwise, yeah, no need to include that.

[writequeercharacters]

@dadmond (it won’t let me @ you) - sorry, I kinda lumped it with trapped in the wrong body in my head because “born x but actually y” is sometimes how those go. but you're right, there's nothing inherently harmful with saying that her agab and current gender don't match.

[writequeercharacters]

@queenkamukura actually, the "trapped in the wrong body" narrative is harmful to the trans population because many, many people don't actually feel that way. they're forced to pretend they do to get treatment. if you are trans writing about your own experience, go for it, but otherwise, PLEASE avoid doing so!! mod Arys

[writequeercharacters]

mod ben intro

Hi all y'all, my name's Ben, and I'm a 17yo nonbinary bi/ace guy! My pronouns are he/him and any neutral ones. I'm best at doing fact checks or finding hard information, and I'm a bit weak on the life experience end, but I'm really glad to be here! Thanks :>

[writequeercharacters]

I want to write trans characters but I'm worried that it'll be offensive? I have a trans woman that acts quite stereotypically 'masculine' (aggressive, swears a lot etc), a trans man who starts off very focused on ideals of masculinity (he refuses to cry or talk about feelings in an early scene), and a genderfluid character in urban fantasy who uses magic to change their gendered appearance. If any of these are problematic can you advise me what to do?

I don’t think any of these are offensive as long as you make sure none of it is fetishization, particularly with the trans woman. The trans man sounds like he is suffering from toxic masculinity but since that’s not limited to exclusively trans men I see no issue with it. Also, the gender fluid character just seems to be pulling a Loki, if you will. I think the trans woman should be fine as well but I’m not sure since I’m nonbinary - I would try to get a second opinion there if you could. 

Mod Arys

[would-be-writer]

I recommend reading @thedeadflag’s posts about writing trans women ^_^

[writequeercharacters]

I'm writing a book about a trans male pirate during the golden age of piracy. The story is kind of personal (I'm trans), and I want his trans identity to be a main part of the book. however, I've been struggling with how to handle the beginning of his piracy career. He starts out in the navy, and one concept is that he is outed as trans and escapes to the Caribbean. I am not sure if this is a good idea, though, since there is a bad history of forcibly outing characters in literature. Any advice?

You could hypothetically execute this well, since being outed in the navy/military/armed forces etc isn’t uncommon, but I would be careful since, as you acknowledged, forcibly outing can go wrong. Do you have other ideas that might steer away from forcible outing? 

Mod Arys

[would-be-writer]

There is a lot to be said about telling own stories but if you want to be careful nonetheless, then perhaps your character can be afraid of being outed? He can then decide he would have more freedom to be himself as a pirate and go into that life instead of constantly fearing what would the navy do if he gets caught.

[writequeercharacters]

This is an excellent addition, thank you!