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if i look back, i am lost
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@writerblocked
Hello mobile friends! Hereâs some links to my tagging system and the about page. (Iâll replace these with links to posts in a little bit.)
Tag navigation!
About the blog!
I hate that people never include the finished render when posting that. it looks so good it's a shame not to.
If your plot feels flat, STUDY it! Your story might be lacking...
Stakes - What would happen if the protagonist failed? Would it really be such a bad thing if it happened?
Thematic relevance - Do the events of the story speak to a greater emotional or moral message? Is the conflict resolved in a way that befits the theme?
Urgency - How much time does the protagonist have to complete their goal? Are there multiple factors complicating the situation?
Drive - What motivates the protagonist? Are they an active player in the story, or are they repeatedly getting pushed around by external forces? Could you swap them out for a different character with no impact on the plot? On the flip side, do the other characters have sensible motivations of their own?
Yield - Is there foreshadowing? Do the protagonist's choices have unforeseen consequences down the road? Do they use knowledge or clues from the beginning, to help them in the end? Do they learn things about the other characters that weren't immediately obvious?
Thank you so much for this!
I kind of suck at tagging, so I made this infographic to help make it easier.
Soft touch prompts
Those types of touches that are feather-like and make you feel tingly in a good way. Touches like:
Face
The soft caress of your lips after the very first kiss.
Caress to the cheek after a moment together.
Gentle wipe of your spilled tears after heavy arguments, a simple gesture that shows you how sorry they are for making you shed sad tears instead of happy ones.
Gentle wipe of dirt on your cheek after enjoying your food too much.
Chin lift to make you look directly at their eyes that just make you follow aimlessly and without much force really. (bonus if they kiss afterward)
When they hold your face in their hands and just look into your eyes and just hold the other softly.
When they lightly wipe the blood off your lip from bitting it too often and softly "kiss it better"
Helping you gently put your earring on and tuck a hair behind your ear to inspect how the accessory looks beautiful on you with or without them.
Helping you put your necklace on and sneak a quick kiss on your neck before complimenting you.
Softly pulling your hair back after being food poisoned.
Worriedly inspecting your temperature after noticing your lack of mood and giving you a chaste kiss on the forehead.
Hands/Arms
Soft hand touches with a light comforting squeeze that instantly assures you they're there.
Softly massaging your hands when you ask them politely.
Loosely holding your hand while you watch and walk around on your date.
Cradling your cut finger after an incident with the knife and tending to your wound with a kiss afterward.
Caressing the back of your hand absentmindedly.
Softly toying with your ring and wondering when they'll get to replace it with a wedding ring.
Softly running their hands on your arms and feeling how cold to the touch your skin is before wrapping you in a hug to share their warmth.
Softly pulling your wrist to pull you closer to them.
softly intertwining your fingers together to hold your hand or twirl you in the middle of the night dance session.
Edit: holy heck guys!!! Thank you all so much for the notes and reblogs!!! I didn't expect this to get this much attention!!! Love you guys!!! đ„°đ„°đ„°
Whole-heartedly BEGGING writers to unlearn everything schools taught you about how long a paragraph is. If theres a new subject, INCLUDING ACTIONS, theres a new paragraph. A paragraph can be a single word too btw stop making things unreadable
Ok So Iâm getting more notes than I thought quicker than I expected! So Iâm gonna elaborate bc I want to.Â
I get it, when youâre someone who writes a lot and talks a lot, itâs hard to keep things readable, but itâs not as much about cutting out the fat(that can be a problem) so much as a formatting issue.Â
You are also actively NERFING yourself by not formatting it correctly, it can make impactful scenes feel so, so much better. Compare this,Â
To THIS.Â
Easier to read, and hits harder.Â
No more over-saturated paragraphs. Space things out.
@s1ld3n4f1lâ WAIT WAIT WAIT SO TRUE LITERALLY LITERALLYÂ
6 Tips on Writing An Actually Inclusive Reader Insert:
1. Do a ctrl + f search of the colors red and pink. If these colors are being used to describe the reader in any way, delete it.
2. Instead of "blushing", use "goosebumps", "shivers", "avoiding eye contact", etc. It still conveys the same thing, and you can get more creative than just using "blushing" 10,000 times.
3. Don't mention being pale or becoming pale (like, seriously, this is just a given). If you want to talk about the reader looking sick or dying, use "ghastly" or "sunken eyes", etc. Again, this is a great opportunity to be more creative in your language as well as inclusive
4. For body-inclusivity, don't talk about the reader sharing clothes with someone. I personally would not fit into anything that Nancy Wheeler owns, so yeah, let's just not do this
5. Don't mention hair. A lot of us can't just wash our hair and move on with our day. Don't get me started on "running their fingers across their hair". Just refrain from descriptions of styling, washing, and touching the reader's hair.
6. Don't put pictures of pretty, white girls for "aesthetics". It honestly just deters readers, and it's just not inclusive in the slightest
That's it, that's basically all you need to do to be inclusive. I'll admit, as a lighter skin POC writer, some of these did slip my mind when I used to write, but what's important is actually listening to readers and encouraging inclusivity in your writing.
If anyone has any other suggestions, feel free to put your own.
physical intimacy
holding hands under the table
touching your lover's thigh under the table
hiding behind a wall, pulling your lover into a kiss as they walk by
''you need to stop doing that.'' ''do what?'' ''that little eye thing you do when i walk into the room.''
leaving notes in obscure places for your lover to find
pinned against the wall in the elevator
we kissed last night but we have to pretend like nothing happened
your hand is touching mine and i can't stop myself from taking it
making eye-contact with your lover from across the room, gesturing at them to follow you outside
tracing a finger across your loverâs scar
leaning in for a kiss but pulling away last second
whispering ''i love you'' in-between kisses
smiling in-between kisses
intertwining fingers
comparing hand sizes
straddling your loverâs thighs
tying your loverâs tie
falling asleep in your lover's arms
very obviously checking each other out while undressing, trying to deny it even though it's obvious
tending to your lover's wound
kissing your lover's forehead or knuckles
scooting closer to your lover in bed
good morning/good night texts
looking into your lover's eyes, then *gaze drops to lips*
one word ideas for when youâre feeling stuck
A aeipathy (n.) - an enduring and consuming passion aleatory (n.) - relying on chance or an uncontrolled element in the details of life or in the creation of art alharaca (spanish, n.) - an extraordinary or violent emotional reaction to a small issue anacampserote (n.) - something that can bring back a lost love antiscians (n.) - people who live on opposite sides the world, âwhose shadows at noon are cast in opposite directionsâ ĂĄoyĂš // çŹć€ (chinese, n.) - to pull an all-nighter  appetence (n.) - an eager desire, an instinctive inclination; an attraction or a natural bond aranyhĂd (hungarian, n) - âthe golden bridgeâ; the reflection of the sun as it shines on water aspectabund (adj.) - letting or being able to let expressive emotion show easily through oneâs face and eyes asterismos (n.) - âmarking with starsâ; a word that gives weight or draws attention to the words that follow aswium // ììŹì (korean, n.) - the mingled feeling of disappointment, frustration, and regret that results from an unsatisfactory situation atermoiements (french, n.) - distractions or hesitations leading to procrastination avosâ // аĐČĐŸŃŃ (russian, n.) - blind trust in sheer luck
B balter (v.) - to dance artlessly, without particular grace or skill but usually with enjoyment basorexia (n.) - the overwhelming desire to kiss bilita mpash (bantu, n.) - the opposite of a nightmare; not merely a good dream, but a blissful state where all is forgiven and forgotten brontide (n.) - the low rumble of distant thunder brumous (adj.) - of grey skies and winter days; filled with heavy clouds or fog bâshirt // ŚŚŚ©Ö·ŚąŚšŚ (yiddish, n.) - âdestinyâ; referring to the seeking of a person who will complement you and whom you will complement perfectly
Keep reading
I wish that ao3 had an option to filter warnings (and tbh certain authors) out like I will never ever want to read it and just seeing it puts me off so much that often I end up closing my browser because that content upsets me so much lmao
There is a way to do this but I canât recall how to do it. itâs something you type into the box for âother filtersâ or something, I donât remember. who knows?? Itâs not a great option, and I donât know if you can sort out authors that way, but itâs better than nothing if someone can reblog this with how to do it!
Alrighty friends! It takes some specificity, but you can do this. Let me show you how!
So I started with going to the Sherlock (TV) section of Ao3. On the right we find this lovely section! ((I know Iâm going over things you already probably know, but I figure this post may go to new Ao3 users, so bear with me.))
Underneath this, I chose sort by Kudos, because thatâs a quick way to find most popular fics, for the sake of this demonstration.Â
With those filters on, we end up with this being our first two results:Â
As you can see, we have Nature and Nurture by earlgreytea68, and The Internet Is Not Just For Porn by cyerus. So what if I am utterly sick of seeing earlgreytea68 on my list? Letâs pretend Iâve read all their fics, or that I just donât like her, or whatever. I want this author out. I go to this section on the right:Â
In âSearch within resultsâ I type earlgreytea68 into the bar, with a minus sign in front. This gives me the following page, upon hitting the sort and filter button:
There goes earlgreytea68! But now Iâve decided that Crack is just not my thing, Iâm sick of that, too, for heavenâs sake, I want something reasonable in my gay slash fanfiction about detectives that solve crimes about glowing dogs and irish megalomaniacs. Heaven forbid this get ridiculous.
Well, then I add this to my search:
Which gets rid of everything with that tag. My results are now:
Performance in a Leading Role is now my first result!
You can do this as many times as you want; the biggest problem I have is trying to filter out multi-worded tags. For example, âSecret Relationshipâ is hard to filter. Better to go with authors you dislike or with words like âDubConâ.Â
I hope this helps! Also remember that googling site:archiveofourown.org and then adding search terms will mean google searches Ao3 for you, and sometimes that works far better.Â
Good luck!
An excellent in-depth guide! Thank you!!
omg changed my whole ao3 rarepair game
An excellent guide to filtering on AO3!
You can filter out phrases by enclosing them in quotes. For example, if ABO and Hydra Trash Party are not your things, try:
-âalpha/beta/omega dynamicsâ -âhydra trash partyâ
I have more advice!
Say, youâre in your random fandom- I went with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, since Iâve been reading Iron Man stuff recently. Tony Stark is awesome.
But anyway, youâre on the page, and you see that there are 174,774 works! That is way too many for a casual afternoonâs browsing.
And you see that the first one is Peter Parker/Tony Stark and that is not your jam. It doesnât work for you, or it squicks you, whatever. Wouldnât life be easier if you could browse without seeing that pairing (or whatever pairing you donât like)? You can!
First, click on that pairing tag(You may want to open this in another tab, actually.):
and itâll take you to the page for that pairing tag. Click this button:
and then look at the address bar! The actual page is unimportant. Copy the numbers located here:
and go back to the original search page! Down on the side, in the same place you can get rid of other tags, type -relationship_ids:âthe number you just copiedâ
Then hit âsort and filterâ annnd⊠magic!
The fics with that pairing are gone! You can also do multiple pairings, get rid of any tags you donât like, and sort it by date or length or kudos, or whatever.
Enjoy.
Iâd just like to add that these sorts of search modifiers ALSO WORK IN GOOGLE AND MOST RESEARCH DATABASES. The more you know.
Just a quick reminder that AO3 uses Lucene as a search and index engine.
That means you can pretty much use all the Lucene Query Syntax in the âSeach within resultâ field.
I donât think AO3 indexes the whole fic for searching but definitely itâs meta data. Combined with Lucenes awesome query syntax you can do pretty much every search you heart desires.
Addtional Lucene Query Syntax that has not been mentioned yet and you might find useful:
Wildcard Searches
You can use wildcard searches within single terms. For a single character wildcard search use the â?â symbol. For a multiple character wildcard search use the â*â symbol.
AND/OR
Lucene allows you to combin terms through logic operators. Youâre looking for fics that are either âreunionâ or âenemies to loversâ?
Just put in >âreunionâ OR âenemies to loversâ< into the field
and you end up with all the stories that are either or but not both.
But wait, now youâre looking for fics that are both âreunionâ and âenemies to loversâ at the same time? Now worries Lucene got you covered.
Just change it into >â"reunionâ AND âenemies to loversââ<
and youâll get all the fics that mention both âreunionâ and âenemies to loversâ somewhere in their meta data (note: itâs not just tags. Itâs also title, summary âŠ)
Boosting
You can also boost specific terms when doing a multi term search.
You can use the â^â Operator followed by a number to boost a specific term.
Say youâre interested in fics that are either âfirst kissâ or âbed sharingâ but youâre much more interested in âbed sharingâ fics and feel they are more relevant.
You can use the search >âfirst kissâ âbed sharingâ^5<
to manipulate the order of your results in a matter that the score of every fic that contains beg sharing is multiplied by 5. Therefore all fics containing that term are given priority and shown at the top of the list.
You can also combine all of the above, target specifc fields (thatâs what you did with the ârelationsship_id:xxxâ) and many more things.
For more info about the Lucene query syntax check out Apacheâs Lucene Query doc.
^ sharing this because we all love fanfics and @itsmajel is a freaking nerd đ
Some of these searches can also be achieved via the âexcludeâ function in the search bar - this offers you for each section (ratings, category, relationships, tags, etc.) the most commonly used metadata for these fics, to check or uncheck (and thus exclude or not) as you please!
hurt comfort prompts
â you can stay here, if you'd like. â
â please don't go. â
â why don't we stay at your place tonight? â
â can i get you anything? â
â let's be pathetic together. â
â are you crying? â
â i'm glad that you're here. â
â you're not doing this alone. â
â i don't have anyone anymore. â â you have me. â
â are you sure [about staying]? â
â you didn't force me. i volunteered [to be here], remember? â
â you are whatâs important right now. â
â itâs okay, you know. if you need to vent. â
â are you sure? it's quite heavy [of a topic]. â â i've got all night. â
â tonight is about you. you can make it up to me some other time. â
â i've got nowhere else to be. â
â you said you needed a distraction. â â so... where is it? â â you're looking right at it. â
â why don't you come here for a second? â
â wanna talk about it? â
â i can't talk about it. not tonight. â
â you need to distract me. do something, anything. â
â i just don't want to be alone tonight. â
â i'm tired of thinking. let's just... make out, or something â
â i feel like shit. â â you look like it, too. â â hey! â
â itâs okay to cry, you know. â
â youâre a little hurt, thatâs all. â
â anything you want me to get you? â
â nothing a good [drink] can't fix. â
â letâs get you cleaned up. â
â this is you thinking rationally? â
â you're really all i've got. â
â c'mere. let me give you a hug. â
â and you're absolutely sure this is what you need? â
â you don't need this right now. â
â how long are you gonna sit there? â â all night, if that's what it takes. â
â what's it gonna take to make you smile? â
â if you're not ready to talk about it, let's not talk about it. â
â wanna play some mario kart? it'll give us both a reason to cry when you beat me. â
â how about we stay like this, holding each other? â
â i donât know whatâs wrong with me. â
â i canât stop crying. â â i'll be strong for the both of us. â
â i didnât know where else to go. â
â the door's always open, you know that. â
â i thought you were leaving town. â â i can't leave now. â
â there's that smile i know and love... â
â stay with me. â
â hey, whatâs your favorite snack? â
â iâm not leaving. â
â just let it out. â
â you're stronger than you think. â
â how about i make a quick run to the store, get you some aspirin? â
â grab a burger or something on your way home. â
â you were always there when i needed you. let me repay the favor. â
â i don't mean to bother you. â â you're not. â
â hey, listen to me... â
â youâre not a burden. â
â arenât you tired? â â this isn't about me. â
â youâre going to be okay. â
â hey, look at me⊠â
â i donât know what to do. â â weâll figure it out. â
â youâre not alone. â
â hey, hey, hey, it's okay... it's okay. you're okay. â
All I'm saying is, if a fic refers to characters by their physical attributes instead of their names or pronouns ("he smiled at the older" "the blonde laughed") when we know who the character is, and ESPECIALLY if the descriptions include "ravenette" or "cyanette" or other ridiculous words--
I'm clicking out of that fic so fast my AO3 history won't even register I've been there.
I am glad you asked. :D
First, if a writer is using the characters' names every sentence -- they're already off to a bad start. Not every sentence needs to clarify which character it applies to, unless you're writing a "See Jane Run" book, lol.
Overall a good rule of thumb is a) don't repeat unnecessary information, and b) only write things that carry the scene.
So for starters, your readers should know who's in the scene, and you can trust them to have at least a little bit of intuition: not every bit of dialog needs to have a tag ("he said/she whispered" etc.) Now, that established: you do use names when doing otherwise would leave it unclear who's doing or saying things. Example:
George grabbed the lid off the pot. "Dang, that's hot!"
Laughing, Sean passed him a bowl. "Just pour the soup, moron."
"You're a moron."
"Says the guy who just grabbed the lid off a boiling pot."
Sticking his tongue out, George filled the first bowl.
It's clear who says what, and if we had just used "he" it wouldn't have been, but we also didn't have to dialog-tag every line. (ALSO. "Said" is not a bad word. Ignore all advice that tells you never to use "said." "Said" is an invisible word and unless you're putting a dialog tag on every line [which you Do Not Need To Do] people won't even notice it. Unlike "shrieked," "whispered," "hissed," "ranted," "whined," etc. Use those words when they'll have punch and impact. Not every dang line.)
But this isn't always how it needs to go.
For example. Let's say I'm writing about a strawberry-blonde elf named Diana and a human bard with black hair named Jerome. I could say:
Diana leaped to her feet, looking excitedly at the ravenette. "Jerome!" Diane said. "This is our chance!"
Jerome smiled at the strawberry-blonde. "Indeed," he replied.
Okay there are.... several issues here. First off, we don't need to clarify that Diana said the thing after we had her doing an action. Trust your readers! They'll know that a "she" here logically refers to Diane, as they know that "he replied" refers to Jerome.
Next, please strike "referring to characters by eye or hair color" from any lists. This is not good. It's not relevant 99% of the time (we'll get to exceptions in a moment) and also, pet peeve: "ravenette" does not mean black-haired. If you've gotta say it, just say black-haired. Ravenette means "a raven, diminuative" or maaaaaaybe "like a raven." Unless you're imitating an 1800s gothic poet, don't do this.
Physical descriptions used as character indicators/pseudo pronouns are clunky and take up space without telling us anything new. They distance the reader from the character by taking us out of the story and back into exposition land, and they generally repeat information we already know. We can tell our readers in chapter one that Diana has strawberry-blonde hair, and then we don't need to refer to her as "the strawberry-blonde" a hundred more times because our readers already know this. Just call her Diana. Or "she." (Unless it's relevant to the moment -- if she's not our POV character and we need to contrast her to, say, a black-haired beauty at the ball through someone else's eyes, that's one thing. But still, don't continually refer to her by something as shallow as her hair color.)
Exception: visual descriptions are valid to use as character-indicators when we or the characters do not know who that person is. For example, if Diana had been kidnapped by bandits.
She glared at the taller of the two men, who appeared to be some kind of leader. "What do you want?" she spat.
He leered at her, and nudged the filthy blond man at his side. "Ain't she cute," he said. "I like elves. All feisty, they are."
The blond looked uncomfortable. "Whatever you say, Gorm."
Ooooh look! Now we know the boss-man's name. From here on out, we probably should refer to him as either "Gorm" or "the bandit leader" -- not "the tall man" (and never just "the taller." Or "the older," "the younger," etc. That's a side note, but a lot of fics do that too. If you're going to use a comparative adjective, you at least still have to tell us what noun it refers to.)
Also -- did you notice how we never said Diana's name there either? She's the viewpoint character, so unless another person comes along that we need to clarify with, we can usually get away with just saying "she." The reader knows who they're reading about.
When you DO have two or more characters with the same pronouns in a scene, you gotta get creative. Again, readers are intuitive -- they can follow pretty well who's doing what as long as you make it clear. Generally speaking, if you establish which character is doing the thing, you can then use just the pronoun until you switch to a new character. For example:
Diana took the proffered knife. "Thanks," she said. "I was starting to get tired of the stink."
The mysterious rescuer smiled. "No problem," she said. "I'm Peony, by the way." She offered Diana her hand. "Let's grab some horses before the bandits wake up, and we'll get back to Jerome before morning."
"Jerome sent you?" Diana stood, dusting herself off. She wrinkled her nose at the mud stains on her pants, and resolved to buy new ones next time they found a decent tailor.
"Oh, Jerome and I go way back." Peony winked. Sweeping her hair out of her eyes, she motioned toward the horses. "After you."
There's never a confusion that Peony offers Diana her own hand -- not somehow Diana's hand. We don't question that Diana is the one wrinkling her nose, or that they're her pants and not Peony's. Or that Peony sweeps her own hair out of her own eyes. Sometimes you'll have lines where it's a little more confusing, but if it feels awkward in the sentence, always consider if you can re-structure it another way. Like,
Diana kicked her horse into a gallop, heart beating in her chest. "Hold on!" she shouted. Peony cast her a panicked glance, tightening her hold on the rampaging oliphant's saddle. Diana reached for her, grabbing the back of her tunic and yanking her down onto her horse.
Okay, that last line there? That one gets confusing, with all those "her"s. We COULD change it to "Diana reached for her, grabbing the back of Peony's tunic and yanking her down onto the horse." That takes care of a lot of them. Or, we could improve things even further by breaking apart the action, elaborating on things, and just generally stretching out the words so that it's clearer which "she/her" is being referenced at any given time. It's your story! Take advantage of all the room you've got -- there will never be a time when you simply cannot rearrange things to make it clearer for your readers.
It does takes effort. And sometimes a bit of verbal slight of hand. You may have to restructure sentences to avoid repetitive phrases and give yourself a good pace. (That's a large part of rewriting and editing.)
However, like the word "said," pronouns are invisible words. Names are not -- they jump out and say HI THIS IS ME. Use them sparingly -- they have power.
One final exception! Fantasy race and job titles. Again, you don't do this with your POV characters unless you're trying to remind the readers of something, but it IS acceptable to sometimes refer to, say, "the elf," or "the detective," or "the werewolf," or "the duke." Use them sparingly, but this is one exception -- mainly because it tells/reminds us of an important fact about the character. (You might also use, say, "her older sister," or "his father," etc, because that also communicates information about the characters and who they are to each other. But. Again. Use sparingly.)
...okay, I've rambled enough, but hopefully this is somewhat useful/helpful to someone out there.
Again! Read good books! Watch how professional writers do it! Imitate, imitate, imitate! The best writing teachers in the world are good writers.
Happy writing!
wait okay no hold up this says it so much faster and clearer than any of my rambling above: identifying characters by their visual attributes tells us WHAT they are, but not WHO they are.
There. Boom. Short answer. Much clearer, much better. Thank you, tumblr user djtangerine.
Meet Cutes
A whole bunch of cute ways for your characters to meet.
losing something and the other picks it up and calls after them
itâs raining and they huddle together under a small roof
getting set up by their lovely grandmas, who always go to the same café and gush about their grandkids
being the new student, one of them gets assigned to the other person as their âbuddyâ to show them the new school
literally running into each other, holding drinks
getting cast in the same play/show
interviewing people on the street and with one of them it just clicks
accidently hitting the other one with a snowball meant for their friend
getting stuck in an elevator together
sitting next to each other at their mutual friendsâ wedding
waiting in line at the grocery check-out, rolling their eyes at each other because the person at the front is starting drama
going camping with their families with the entrances of their tents/camper van right across from each other, so they always see each other first in the morning and end up spending all their time together
meeting as the best friends/wingmen/chaperones of their two friends who want to go out together, but not alone
getting set up together by mutual friends
being extras in a movie and having lots of fun in the background
meeting in a cinema, both there with their friends, but sitting next to each other and accidently grabbing each otherâs hand when something scary happens on screen
being from different schools, they meet at a tournament, trying to win for their own school
sitting next to each other on a long bus/train ride
meeting each other at a kissing booth
getting paired up at a dance class
accidently wearing a matching costume at a party
meeting at a party that both their parents dragged them to and theyâre the only teens there
going for the same book at the library
itâs raining and they decide to share an umbrella
meeting on a cruise, seeing a lot of cool places together
dancing next to each other at a concert
interviewing the other one about their new project
mistaking the other for their friend and getting embarrassed when they turn around
helping the other for their missing cat
meeting at a public reading of their favourite author
getting paired up for a project
meeting at a model united nations conference, representing countries who definitely want to work together on a resolution draft
realizing they ordered the exact same drink when they both try to grab it at the same time
working their first shift together, their schedules never matching up before
using the washing machines next to each other at the laundromat
sitting next to each other on a bumpy plane ride
meeting at a fire alarm test, having to evacuate the building
getting shipped by their fans, but theyâve never met, so they finally meet up for their fans
moving into a new apartment and realizing they can see directly into their neighborâs window
being panelists at a con and having heard about each other a lot but never met before
getting paired up for a partner game at a friendâs party
waiting in an airport for their delayed flight
meeting at a demonstration, where they quickly form a bond over their shared interest
getting summoned to the principalâs office for different things and both waiting for their verdict
sharing a taxi, because they need to go to the same place
asking the other one to take a picture of them and their friends
meeting in the cafeteria, with no other place left
getting tasked with training their newest colleague
being booked as models for a big campaign together
meeting at a holiday resort, both with friends or family tagging along
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Quick editing tip: Passing time
Hey all, hereâs a quick tip about showing the passage of short amounts of time in a scene. I see a lot of beats like this:
She hesitated
He paused
A few seconds later
There was a long silence
He waited for her to answer
She didnât respond
Instead of telling us thereâs a brief moment of silence or pause in your scene, try showing us by creating the feeling that time has passed through action, description, or inner monologue. Here are a few examples.
Before:
âAre you coming or not?â
He waited for her to answer, but she didnât respond.
âClare? Did you hear me?â
âHuh?â
After:
âAre you coming or not?â
Clare scrolled through her phone, her face illuminating with a eerie blue glow.
âClare? Did you hear me?â
âHuh?â
Before:
Jared lingered at the suspectâs front gate. If this guy didnât answer Jaredâs questions, he was screwed.
âHey you!â a voice shouted. âGet off my property!â
Jared hesitated. Finally, he turned to face the man. âIâm afraid I canât do that.â
After:
Jared lingered at the suspectâs front gate. If this guy didnât answer Jaredâs questions, he was screwed.
âHey you!â a voice shouted. âGet off my property!â
Jared patted his holster. He had a gun, but he certainly didnât want to use it. Taking a deep breath, he turned to face the man. âIâm afraid I canât do that.â
Not only does creating a pause instead of describing a pause allow your reader to feel the moment more vividly, it gives you a chance to explain what exactly that pause is about. People hesitate, pause, donât respond, etc. for all kinds of reasons. Give us as much insight as you can into your weird quiet moment.
Of course, you donât need to do this every single time. Sometimes itâs fine to say âhe pausedâ or âthe room was quiet for a momentââit could be the best choice for that scene. But look back through your draft and see if youâve used those âtellingâ descriptions more often than you needed to. If so, try to create the feeling of a pauseâperhaps one that gives the reader a bit more informationâusing these techniques.
Hope this helps!
Hot take: Actual literary analysis requires at least as much skill as writing itself, with less obvious measures of whether or not youâre shit at it, and nobody is allowed to do any more god damn litcrit until they learn what the terms âshow, donât tellâ and âpacingâ mean.
Pacing
The âpacingâ of a piece of media comes down to one thing, and one thing only, and it has nothing to do with your personal level of interest. It comes down to this question alone: Is the piece of media making effective use of the time it has?
Thatâs it.
So, for example, things which are NOT a example of bad pacing include a piece of media that is:
A slow burn
Episodic
Fast-paced
Prioritizing character interaction over intricate plot
Opening in medias res without immediate context
Incorporating a large number of subplots
Incorporating very few subplots
Bad pacing IS when a piece of media has
âWastedâ time, ie, screentime or page space dedicated to plotlines or characters that are ultimately irrelevant to the plot or thematic resolution at the cost of properly developing that resolution. Pour one out for the SW:TCW fans.
The presence of a sidestory or giving secondary characters a separate resolution of their personal arc is not âbad writing,â and only becomes a pacing issue if it falls into one of the other two categories.
Not enough time, ie, a story attempts to involve more plotlines than it has time or space to give satisfying resolutions to, resulting in all of them being ârushedâ even though the writer(s) made scrupulous use of every second of page/screentime and made sure every single section advanced those storylines.
Padding for time, ie, Open-World Game Syndrome. Essentially, you have ten hours of genuinely satisfying storyâŠ.but âshort games donât sell,â so you insert vast swathes of empty landscape to traverse, a bunch of nonsense fetch quests to complete, or take one really satisfying questline and repeat it ten times with different names/macguffins, to create 40 hours of âgameplayâ that have stopped being fun because the same thing happens over and over. If you think this doesnât happen in novels, you have never read Oliver Twist.
Another note on pacing: There are, except arguably in standalone movies, at least two levels of pacing going on at any given time. Thereâs the pacing within the installment, and the pacing within the series. Generally, thereâs three levels of pacingâwithin the installment (a chapter, an episode, a level), within the volume (a season, a novel, a game), and within the series as a whole. Sometimes, in fact FREQUENTLY, a piece of media will work on one of these levels but not on all of them. (Usually the ideal is that it works on all three, but thatâs not always important! Not every individual chapter of a novel needs to be actively relevant to the entire overarching series.)
Honestly, the best possible masterclass in how to recognize good, bad, and âthey tried their best but needed more spaceâ pacing? If you want to learn this skill, and get better at recognizing it?
Doctor Who.
ESPECIALLY Classic Who, which has clearly-delineated âserialsâ within their seasons. You can pretty much pick any serial at random, and once youâve seen a few of them, you get a REALLY good feel for things like, for exampleâŠ
Wow, that serial did not need to be twelve episodes long; they got captured and escaped at least three different times and made like four different plans that they ended up not being able to execute, and maybe once or twice they would have ramped up the tension, but it really didnât contribute anythingâthis could have been a normal four-episode serial and been much stronger.
Holy shit there were WAY too many balls being juggled in this, this would have been better with the concepts split into two separate serials, as it stands they only had four episodes and they just couldnât develop anything fully
Oh my god that was AMAZING I want to watch it again and take notes on how they divided up the individual episodes and what plot beats they chose to break on each week
Eh, structurally that was good, but even as a 90-minute special that nuwho episode feels like it would have worked a lot better as a Classic serial with a little more room to breathe.
How in the actual name of god did they stretch like twenty minutes of actual story into a four-episode serial (derogatory)
How in the actual name of god did they stretch like twenty minutes of actual story into a four-episode serial (awestruck)
If youâre not actively trying to learn pacing, either for literary analysis or your own writingâŠhonestly? Just learn to differentiate between whether the pacing is bad or if it just doesnât appeal to you. Thereâs a WORLD of difference between âThe pacing is too slowâ and âthe pacing is too slow for me.âÂ
âI really prefer a slower build into a universe; the fact that it opens in medias res and you piece together where you are and how the magic system works over the next several chapters from context is way too fast-paced for me and makes me feel lost, so I bounced off itâ is, usually, a much more constructive commentary than âthe pacing is badâ.Â
And when the pacing really is bad, youâll be doing everyone a favor by being able to actually articulate why.
Show, Donât Tell
This is a very specific rule that has been taken dramatically out of context and is almost always used incorrectly.
âShow, donât tellâ applies to character traits and worldbuilding, not information in the plot.
It may be easier to âgetâ this rule if you forget the specific phrasing for a minute. This is a mnemonic device to avoid Informed Attributes, nothing more and nothing less.Â
Character traits like a character being funny, smart, kind, annoying, badass, etc, should be established by their behavior in-universe and the reactions of others to themâif you just SAY theyâre X thing but never show it, then youâre just telling the audience these things. Similarly you canât just tell the audience that a setting has brutal winters and expect to be believed, when the clothing, architecture, preparations, etc shown as common in that setting do not match those that brutal winters would necessitate.Â
To recap:
Violations of Show Donât Tell:
A viewpoint character describing themselves as having a trait (being a loner, easily distractable, clumsy, etc) but not actually shown to possess it (lacking friends, getting distracted from anything important, or dropping/tripping over things at inopportune moments.)
The narration declaring an emotional state (âCharacter A was furiousâ) rather than demonstrating the emotion through dialogue or depicting it onscreen.
A fourth-wall-breaking narrator; ie, Kuzco in The Emperorâs New Groove directly addressing the audience to explain that heâs a llama and also the protagonist, is NOT the same! This actually serves as a flawless example of showing rather than tellingâwe are SHOWN that Kuzco is immature and egotistical, even though thatâs not what heâs saying.
A fictional society or setting being declared by the narrative to be free of a negative traitâbigotry, for exampleâbut that negative trait being clearly present, where this discrepancy is not narratively engaged with.Â
(For example: There is officially no sexism in Thedas and yet female characters are subject to gendered slurs and expectations; the world of Honor Harrington is supposedly societally opposed to eugenics, yet âcuresâ for disability and constant mentions of a nebulous genetic âadvantageâ from certain charactersâ ancestry are regular plot points that are viewed positively by the characters and are not narratively questioned.)
A character declaring that their society has no bigotry, when that character is clearly wrong, is not the same thing.
The narrative voice declaring objective correctness; everyone who agrees with the protagonist is portrayed as correct and anyone who questions them is portrayed as evil, or else there is no questioning whatsoever. For example: in Star Trek: Enterprise, Jonathan Archer tortures an unarmed prisoner. What follows is a multi-episode arc in which every person he respects along with Starfleet Command goes out of their way to dismiss the idea that he should bear any guilt, or that his actions were anything but completely necessary and objectively morally correct. No narrative space is allowed for disagreement, or for the audience to come to its own conclusion.
NOT Violations of Show Donât Tell:
A character explaining a concept to another character who would logically, within that universe/situation, be the recipient of such an explanation.
An in-universe explanation BECOMES a SdT violation if the explanation fails to play out in reality, such as a spaceship being described as slow or flawed in some way but never actually having those weaknesses. Imagine if the Millennium Falcon was constantly described as a broken-down piece of junkâŠand never had any mechanical failures, AND Han and Chewie werenât constantly shown repairing it!
Information being revealed through dialogue, period. Having your hacker in a heist movie describe the enemy security system isnât âtellingâ and thus bad writing. Having information revealed organically through dialogue is what âshowâ means.
The âas you knowâ trope is technically a Show Donât Tell violation, despite being dialogue, because itâs unnatural within the universe and serves solely to let the writer deliver information directly, ie, telling.
Characters discussing their own actions and expressing their motivations and/or decision-making process at the time.
The existence of an omnipotent narrator, or the narration itself confirming something. Narration saying âthere was no way anyone could make it in timeâ is delivering contextual information, not breaking Show Donât Tell.Â
Keep in mind that âShow, donât tellâ is meant to be advice for beginning authors. Because âtellingâ is easier and requires less skill than âshowing,â inexperienced authors need to focus on getting as much âshowâ in as possible.Â
However, âtellingâ is also extremely important. Sometimes, especially in written formats, the most appropriate way to deliver information to the audience is to just say it and move on.
Keep in mind that a viewpoint character in anything butâŠa portal fantasy, essentiallyâŠis going to be familiar with the world theyâre in. Not every protagonist needs to be a raw newcomer with zero knowledge of their new world! In most cases, a viewpoint character is going to know things that the audience doesnât. Generally, the ONLY natural way to introduce worldbuilding in this situation is to just have the narration point them out. (It makes sense for Obi-Wan to have to explain the Force; it would make no sense for Han to explain the concept of space travel to Luke, who grew up in this universe and knows what the hell a starship is. So, if youâre writing the novelization of A New Hope, you need to just say âand so they jumped into hyperspace, the strange blue-white plane that allowed faster-than-light travelâ and move the hell on.)
For that matter, in some media (ie, childrenâs cartoons) where teaching a moral lesson is the clear intent, a certain level of âtellingâ is not only appropriate but necessary!
The actual goal of âshowingâ and âtellingâ is to maintain a balance, and make sure everything feels natural. Show things that need to be shown, andâŠdonât waste everyoneâs time showing things that would feel much more natural if they were just told.
But thatâs not nearly as pithy a slogan.
(Reblog this version yâall I fixed some really serious typos)
Quick addition: When you Show, you Slow.
Taking the time to Show something rather than simply Telling it slows the moment downâand that can be a good thing! When you want a moment to have real emotional impact, when you want the audience to linger and really connect with the scene, use Show to slow them down and really make them live in it. Use descriptive language, engage the senses, and make your audience spend some time with it.
This is Not always desirable. If youâre heavily Showing in moments that arenât truly important, your audience will disengage and get impatient and then bored. I always err on the side of over showing in a first draft, over trimming to lots of telling in a second draft, then marrying them together in a third once Iâve gotten a better understanding of the pacing with the second Telling draft.
some people think writers are so eloquent and good with words, but the reality is that we can sit there with our fingers on the keyboard going, âwhatâs the word for non-sunlight lighting? Like, fake lighting?â and for ten minutes, all our brain will supply is âunofficialâ, and we know thatâs not the right word, but itâs the only word we can come up withâŠuntil finally itâs like our face got smashed into a brick wall and we remember the word we want is âartificialâ.
I couldn't remember the word "doorknob" ten minutes ago.
ok but the onelook thesaurus will save your life, i literally could not live without this website