who gives a fuck about an oxford comma? @writingpajama - Tumblr Blog

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

default-cube

who up wasting their only shot at life through complete and utter inaction

pingo1387

having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.

that-house

partially-managed mental illness is so fucking funny i'll be sitting around doing my job and suddenly think "wow i hate myself" and immediately get confused because, like, that's not TRUE! i love myself so much. who are you to talk to me like that

ceruleanheaven

i am always one wrong word away from being shot by all the people who find me tolerable

adelidae

getting up from bed tips

getting up from bed cheats

getting up from bed codes

getting up from bed ending explained

santa-ana-winds

fishpondfish

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

dykonicdiva

(no beers in) what is every thought you’ve ever had about me ever

junglejim4322

I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices

poetrylesbian

you are my mutual and to some extent my wife

tomatoluvr69

Get enough sleep get enough fiber get enough iron wear sunscreen every moment of every day dont get dehydrated don’t slouch brush perfectly floss too keep your tires full of air get your oil changed check your brakes and alignment get new tires get your yearly inspection get your yearly pelvic exam remember your flu and covid shot research the candidates for district attorney take your recycling to the curb on the right day try to limit red meat, alcohol, ultra processed food, sugar and sitting down don’t use screens before bed exercise constantly you’re not socializing or being touched enough meditate daily make sure your clothes are constantly acceptable wash your hair before there’s even a hint of grease don’t have any unsightly hair anywhere don’t drink foo much coffee or sugary drinks or carbonated drinks or anything with citric acid or your teeth will rot change your sheets every few days and your pillowcases daily and you should be also throwing out your pillows every year or two apparently don’t use any kind of cutting board due to the unique drawbacks of each available kind walk 15 min after every meal don’t eat right after brushing but also don’t brush thirty minutes after eating yet somehow brush your teeth every morning and be on time for work also and make sure you’re weight training and make sure you’re doing everything you can to prevent eventual osteoporosis and arthritis moisturize your skin every day keep your prescriptions filled try to avoid being stressed at all costs because it’s the silent killer prioritize your mental health but don’t let any of these habits slip and don’t lose your important documents and keep the batteries in your carbon monoxide detector fresh and deep clean your fridge often and clean your entire house often and exchange pleasantries with every acquaintance and keep yourself polished and presentable at work and stretch before bed every night and buy new kitchen sponges when they wear out and make sure you have laundry detergent and dish soap and olive oil and only eat healthy fats and make sure you’re doing everything to prevent the skyrocketing rates of colon cancer in young people and soak all your berries so that they actually get clean and wash all your produce and buy organic so you aren’t ingesting four million pesticides and avoid animal products but also eat a lot of lean meat and dairy for the protein and eat 30g of protein at every meal and prioritize whole grains and complex carbohydrates and moderate your sugar intake and replace your toothbrush every six months and your running shows every 90 miles clean your car out often and make sure no one smashes your tail light in the parking lot and keep a printout of your up to date proof of insurance in your glovebox even if you don’t own a printer and put a sizeable portion of each paycheck into retirement portfolio replace your windshield wipers and close your kitchen down every night and eat two servings of dark leafy greens per day and do all of this and still get enough rest so that you’re able to give the 40 hour workweek your all. And if you fail to do any of these things you’re a disgusting failure slob

#the kinda shit playing on loop in my head

the-quasar-hero

It’s extremely fucked up that some ppl try to make you feel stupid and immature for hoping for a better world. You say you want world peace and mfs think you need a pacifier; dawg, I just don’t want ppl dying from violence. This idea that ppl simply must die as casualties of war is misanthropic to say the least.

colorogasm

Always Remember:

kissing can and will, get boring.

its ok to go to sleep on opposite sides.

forgetting favorites, dates and replies is only human.

you dont have to like, or be friends with all of their friends and vice-versa.

they have a right to spend weekends dedicating to their friends and family. you have the same right.

privacy is still in play.

trying simple things that they like, no matter how much you are sure you will dislike it, is a very small step you can take to show your love to them.

you dont gotta have the same taste in music, food, books etc.

saying i love you, thank you, take care, please and i missed you really helps.

you cant agree with all their life decisions and they cant with yours. keeping an open mind and having an honest and deep discussion about it helps.

they dont need your permission to do things and neither you need theirs.

the intention and care behind the gift matters. not its price tag.

dont try and change them. help them become better versions of themselves and get the same help and support and care from them.

know what matters most and focus on that.