The emptiness wasn’t something Steve had anticipated. Well, not so much that he hadn’t anticipated it when the news reached him, but rather he had been entirely unprepared for the worst to happen, and all because he simply didn’t know what one of the stones would cost. He’d been one of the people to notice and feel her absence the most, because she’d meant a lot to him and kept him grounded, especially during the five years after they failed. There would always be a piece of his own guilty conscience for the loss of someone that was, once again, entirely out of his control, telling him he should have gone to Vormir. He would have thrown himself off that cliff in an instant if it meant she would live…though she probably would have nearly killed him for that if that drop didn’t. But it was simply who he was. He would have done that a thousand times sooner than he would have let her take the jump once…and he felt responsible no matter how much the conflicting half of him, his more rational side, attempted to convince him that no part of it was his fault.
As he ran fingers through his windswept hair, the soft breeze still stirring up the grass he had placed himself on, that wave of self-blame was impossible to ignore, crashing through him as though he was swept up in a tidal wave of raw emotion and trying to stop himself from showing the raw panic it caused in him. After all, how was he even supposed to face Nat’s family, her ‘other family’ which wasn’t her biological family either but had been the closest thing she’d had for most of her youth from what he’d been able to gather and that had newly reunited in recent years? A fragile conscience already burdened with guilt was a dangerous thing when there was someone to answer to, and no one knew it like Steve.
He sucked in a deep breath as he attempted to muster the words that he owed them, that they needed to hear. “I’m sorry. When we went back to retrieve the stones, I didn’t realize…I mean I wasn’t aware-…no.” Steve stopped himself in his tracks. He couldn’t try to excuse this. It was his fault. His. Fault. “No, that’s no excuse. I divided us up and sent the two of them there when I knew the least about it, and didn’t know what might happen. I should have gone myself. If I’d been there, I might have been able to stop her, or do it myself, and she would still be here. I wasn’t careful enough and didn’t consider the risks enough.”
Steve Rogers was fully prepared for what might follow next. A slap, a punch, a kick, any sort of retaliation that was deserved, even if he had to take a series of angry blows, or even get yelled at, he wouldn’t try to run or hide from it…although the latter of all of those would probably be the worst of it all, because any of their angry words would probably be justified, and over one of the people in their group he’d cared about the most, and had let down. Maybe that was why he knew that option would sting the most…they would be attacking him on behalf of Natasha, and it would feel almost as though it was coming from her directly, and disappointing someone that close to him was far too much for him to let go of. He’d already done it with Bucky and Sam, before, and now Natasha…he’d managed to, in some way or another, let down the three people he’d been closest to. He deserved it…some sort of retribution for his failures as both a person and a leader.
yelena was good at many things, a well oiled machine that was created to produce impeccable results. a black widow of the red room, one of the world’s deadliest assassins. though, all that training had never prepared her to face her biggest enemy: her own feelings. she could be cold, aloof - sarcasm and dry wit an attempt to remove her from whatever internal turmoil plagued her. whether it was trauma of her past, or this new reality she is forced to live in. five years ago a giant purple alien arrives, then suddenly half the world’s population vanishes (including herself). and when she comes back, she’s eager to find out if her sister is okay - they might’ve been apart, but yelena always made sure to keep tabs on natalia. though, the news is flooded with her sestra’s photo, showcasing the ultimate sacrifice taken so yelena could return. nat had given it all up to save the world - younger sister left spiraling from the heavy toll this loss held.
roots had been temporarily planted in ohio, not far from where they spent the most promising years of their childhood. yelena makes it a habit to visit natalia’s grave, she whistles out for her - though there’s a deafening silence met in return. a stomch wrenching, painful, lack of response. her sister’s body hadn’t even been retrieved, or so the story goes. all she has left are memories, and it isn’t enough to mend the hole in her heart. yelena arrives to natasha’s final resting spot, eyes shut as she leans her head against the chilled stone, a soft whistle escaping lips. though today there’s a reply, but it’s not from her lost sestra. yelena stands in alarm, hands hovering to her pockets for her weapon before realizing who stood before her : captain america himself.
she hears what he’s saying, and she’s unsure if his words comfort her, or infuriate her. perhaps it’s a mix of the two, though she knows she’s far from ready to accept warmth and sing kumbaya with the avenger. her eyes take him in, and her guard is slightly let down, knowing he’s far too good to harm her, especially as he seems to know she’s natalia’s sister.
❝ you’re the famous captain america... ❞ she observes, blue eyes blinking back tears, preventing any emotional response to his words. ❝ i’ve seen you... on the televisions.. with natal’ya. ❞ another pause, unsure where to go with this. ❝ my sister isn’t dead because of you, from what i hear, the blame lies on clint barton. ❞ her next target.. though rogers doesn’t need to know this, for he would surely put a stop to it. yelena turns her back to him, crouching now in front of nat’s grave.
❝ i’m surprised you know we exist, captain. ❞
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