hello everyone! i’m here to bring to you etoile’s main dancer and leader rapper, vocal and aspiring music producer Artemisia, otherwise known really or widely called UNFORMALLY as Sia. She’s a bit of a tough cookie to crack, but hopefully one that’s interesting enough for everyone to hit up! i’m excited to bring her here, even if she was a bit of a last minute concoction on my part. please smash the LIKE button below if you’d like me to slip into your dms, and do message me if you’d like to plot! (my dms on tumblr are currently wack but T-T i am doing my best T_T) below the cut are some details about her, and links to her about, profile and career! (also watch me genuinely :’) end up changing her theme once again becuz of how ugly the current one is t-t)
[profile & career]
TW: cyberbullying, suicide mentions, death, car accident, chromesthesia, insomnia
so a little tidbit before we even start talking about sia--because the hanja in her name itself hints towards who she is as a person and the arc that she goes through as a muse (fgkjfkjg as do all of my muses x.x). her full name is ko jueun--and written in hangul it is 高姝殷. (i will be using the chinese meanings of the words to explain a bit) so her name 姝殷 separately connotates her experience of what she has to go through. 姝 is a variant word of woman or a beautiful woman, and a juxtaposition to what she’s basically been put through by others--because both fans and normal people alike have said that she’s ugly. likewise, the second part of her name 殷 hints to what she does for pretty much her goals and the rest of her life. the word 殷 has many meanings, and both of the meanings actually indicate what sia does or hints to what sia does in her life--1. it means grand music, 2. it means rich, abundant, and lastly 3. it means deep, persevering and genuine. all three meanings give rise to sia’s purpose in life--grand music for her genius in music, rich, deep and abundant for the genuine feelings she hides and lastly deep and persevering in all things that she does, especially for a legacy that isn’t hers, but she feels she should bring to life to.
so ko jueun aka sia was born to two pretty famous opera singers who actually had a tryst with each other far too early on, which resulted in 4 children that were of splendidly differing wide age gaps. their first two kids, ko minghan and ko jongtae were 18 and 17 respectively when sia was born, and sia’s third brother, ko iseul, was 5 when sia was born. the two had actually been celebrating with their 6 month old daughter their last performances when a car totaled them from the front, and they died instantaneously, leaving behind their 4 children with little royalties and money to support themselves. luckily, sia’s two oldest brothers were old enough to take over fostering their younger siblings. both of them dropped out of school--minghan stopped schooling to work and be the breadwinner of the family, and jongtae stopped is piano recitals and performances to perform daily at hotel lobbies. until now, sia feels nothing but respect and also genuinely apologetic towards them--because her brothers took the mantle up of being parents towards both her and her third brother and exchanged their potentials and life for a lifetime of ensuring that they were raised well and properly.
when she was just 2, her second brother who was a piano prodigy started teaching her piano after realising that she was very gifted in it. as a result, by the time she was 8, she finished her diploma in music, and by age 14, she finished her studies in music (and can technically be a full music teacher by then).
she was diagnosed with severe chromesthesia when she was 3, after her brothers had brought her to a music festival, and the loud music and noises there had caused her to suffer from a sensory overload. her condition of chromesthesia while gifting her with the gift of perfect pitch for her music, was also a curse--because unlike others, every single sound ( even the sound of another’s breathing) that she heard would taint her visual perspective in flashes of blinding colours. as a result of this, sia now brings along with her earplugs to plug her ears in during awards and festivals. she also suffers from insomnia at times, especially on noisy nights, and her perception of colours T-T is extra wonky.
because of the sensory overload and information she has to process to cope with her condition, sia tends to see herself in a 3rd person or much like an avatar playing the game of her life, keeping her emotions under close lock and key, resulting in her deadpanned face and blank stare, and learnt to interpret or guess or even judge another person’s mood based on what she sees in the colours--which, mind you, are about 85% wrong most of the time :’ ). her overreliance on this actually resulted in her being really bad at social skills, and for misunderstandings to occur most of the time, though she’s easygoing enough to generally apologise immediately if someone was wrong on her part.
when sia was in middle school, she was severely bullied because she was seen as the ugliest girl in school and even in the street that she lived in. this nickname and title followed her for pretty much the rest of her life, even amongst fans of etoile and ladybug whose girls she trained and have close relations with--fans find her severely lacking in terms of visuals to be able to stand on par with both her group and the ladybug girls.
however as a result of this perception of her being the ugliest--it kickstarted the worst tragedy in sia’s life--when she was 12, and her 3rd brother iseul was 17, and he just debuted in a big idol group. her brother was immensely talented vocally, and was tasked as the main vocal of the group, despite a severe lack in popularity. they were the closest to each other, and even shared a room--until her brother picked her up one day after his debut, and was recognised due to his pretty flower boy looks (he was rather well known for his beautiful features and looks). the discrepancy of a pretty flower boy, and the ugliest girl in school eventually made it’s way onto the internet, and to the fans of the boygroup who were getting annoyed with the fact that her brother had the most lines as the main vocals compared to their handsome, popular oppas in the group. rumours flew about his face not being his, of plastic surgery, and malicious bullying towards her brother started--fans would purposely ignore him during fanmeetings, petition after petition was filed to remove him from the group--until...the company themselves started rejecting her brother’s compositions, songs, work, eliminating his schedules until finally....he was kicked, without reason out of the team. this crushed her brother so much, because they were also now saddled with his trainee debt, and that only made him feel worse--even worse still, the bullying online and comments didn’t stop. in an attempt to make him feel better, sia swore herself to a legacy of becoming a music producer, where she would produce music and let her brother sing all of her songs--and even chopped her hair off to it’s current short version to display her determination towards such a cause. she would never grow her hair out again until the time that she’s able to put out her first solo song that’s produced by her and her only, and that’s why none of her fans have seen her in long hair. she’s only alternated between short hair and short dyed hair, and never long hair since the beginning of debut. unfortunately, unlike what she naively thought, things were worse than she thought it was to be, and sia walked home the next day to see her brother’s body hanging from their bedroom. she had a complete breakdown and dissociated herself further from her emotions due to that, sealing away in herself much of those emotions that caused her pain and suffering, and despair--or rather, denying them to the point that for the past 13 years, she hasn’t shed a single tear. ( think of mob psycho T-T when mob loses all of his control and experiences purely a singular mix of emotions, that kind of intensity. she had to shut down in order to save herself because it was too much, or luffy when ace died :’) thnk u lemme break all of our hearts further) during her brother’s funeral however, those fans that caused his misery came crying to his funeral--and that was the only time that sia’s snapped. she stood up and hurled vases at their heads fkgjdkfg. unfortunately, that got recorded without context by those malicious fans, and spread on the internet, cementing her “ bad attitude” controversies in the future. it is a video that is often used to bring up the point that she has an atrocious personality, and probably is the caused of all of etoile’s conflicts between members and blah blah blah, apart from their words about her looks.
as a result of shutting down certain of her emotions, she’s formed a blunt, sharp but deeply honest personality, with a penchant of hatred for lying, as well as hatred for idol companies (lmao the irony). it’s this personality that also results her in being the butt of jokes and a comeback or information LOOPHOLE because she can’t or she refuses to lie or just REALLY REALLY struggles badly with lying (to the point you can see her face twitch when she lies about something). people on variety shows tend to direct to her questions because they know she answers them very honestly. (if they asked her who is her ideal time she would tell them very honestly that she’s interested in neither (asexual), or she would need a very very close bond with another before being able to form such feelings (demisexual)) as such lmao etoile’s manager probably has the worst field day whenever she’s speaking because who knows what she might unintentionally leak RIPPP
she’s known not to fit etoile’s concept well at all due to her strong and harder gaze / looks since etoile is just really generally cute and sweet RIP
etoile’s songs are also known not to utilise sia to her fullest potential as a dancer--and because of the sweet, cute image, despite her role as a main dancer, she at times underperforms because she finds the concept too cringey or too sweet and fluffy
she can also sing, she inherited the range her operatic parents have, and the nasally tone, but she doesn’t like using it much because she feels like it sounds too cute rip
ever since etoile’s debut, sia has constantly pitched multiple songs that she’s fully written to yuseong for etoile, but all have been rejected at the drawing board for their comebacks, due to the difference in concept and portrayal of the music / they don’t hit the criteria of etoile’s music. she’s very upset and annoyed by that.
unlike the image that she also puts out to others however, sia is also an intensely lazy person fjgjfjgjfgf. she would rather lie down on the sofa, or curl up on the most comfortable spot on the ground and sleep if she got lost, and forgets the fact that she has keys :) to her friend’s apartments and etoile’s dorm...100% of the time...stands outside, wonders whether to knock, and just...sits outside the door and sleeps RIP fans definitely know of this cuter sleepy dummy side of her--perhaps in etoile’s shows it is always shown alot (esp if they did variety shows of them living together lmao)--the etoile girls will probably find her hiding in a cupboard sleeping with a pillow between her legs etc.
she is an incredible sleeper--can sleep almost ANYWHERE ANYTIME , and holds a record of sleeping in 4 secs while standing on a variety show RIP .
her spirit animal is tanaka kun from tanaka kun is always listless fjdjfd
she has a npc best friend that she’s known for 7-8 years, park miyeon, whom she claims is her absolute soulmate. they met each other after like a year or so of just...silently sitting next to each other T-T when they chanced upon each other every night T-T she introduced miyeon to her family and they’re now all inseparable.
her brother jeongtae is openly gay, and is the source of her androgynous choice of clothing. because her brothers never got anything good, whenever sia bought branded clothes with her money, she’s sure to choose something androgynous and slightly larger for herself or too long for herself (because she’s short), and pass it on to her brother. because of that, her cupboard is full of androgynous clothes that she also DOES wear, because hey she looks good in it.
sia is DEATHLY AFRAID OF ALL KINDS OF ANIMALS. kittens, puppies, dogs, cats--if they come into a room’s radius of her--she’s jumping on a chair and giving them a intense staredown until they leave the room. her brothers thought that it was a great idea to scare her a little and surprise her with a kitten for her birthday, which they put in a box. when she opened it, the kitty jumped right at her face and scratched her face fjsgjdg RIP and that’s her source of terror of all animals and pets
sia’s home studio is one of the latest, and she and miyeon conjointly cheated her brother jeongtae repeatedly of his money to buy her home studio :’ ), because jeongtae runs a fanpage of his sister and desired some photos, so he would pay them for photos of sia by quantity (cue sia snapping 10 different pictures of her sitting in the same place), and he pays her 50 bucks for 1 photos rip. he regularly embarrasses her on his insta page by posting her childhood pics and divulging stuff, because sia doesn’t really like doing instagrams or has a rare social media presence. most of her fans know to follow jeongtae’s page for lots of resources and news about her dkgjjgdf
sia was also previously known on youtube as a part of a dance team that was pretty popular on youtube called sycophant. she was recruited as one of their members after 6 months in their academy, and performed in a LOT of their youtube videos for their dances before her debut. sia has mentioned this before, but sycophant is a group she’s grateful to, because she’s a known perfectionist in all things that she does, and the dance team showed her that dance could be an outlet for her to fulfill her idea and obsession with perfection. it’s also one of the reasons why she’s etoile’s main dancer and she’s grateful for that.
one of sia’s greatest interest is also gaming (CONTACT HER PLS IF U WANNA PLAY GAMES). she does a lot of fps games (it’s probably all stated on her profile LOL), from fortnite to apex legends and pubg. she’s quite well known at this point on twitch streaming and youtube for her sharpshooter / assassin skills.
her current twitch and youtube account name is called pmysia and no she’s never changing it
she has a tattoo written in cursive on the back of her right arm with the word “ picturesque” . it was a hella big fuck u to the haters and people who called her ugly, as well as a reminder to herself that she’s beautiful as long as she thinks she is.
she has a secret instagram account too called kickthebvket
and there we have it! that’s sia for everyone >///< and i genuinely hope you like her as much as i do!
here’s her spirit animal for yall as a reward for staying and reading through till the end T-T
