goddarnit to heck

can't get rid of me (munny / they/them / agender queer)

[sobcat]

after evaluating my finances and my spending habits, I've found that it might just be more beneficial to ask my vet to put me down

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

things to say after fucking up egregiously

pack it up boys we've made a social blunder

let's run that again

one more time normal style

I'm going to become a statistic

further proof god is out to get me

it's because I tore my acl senior year

I couldn't do it for religious reasons

my ex took my talent in the divorce

good thing nobody saw that (said directly to someone who definitely saw it)

[depsidase]

[slutdge]

"make an account to-"

[slimegirlslugwife]

she’s right

[galaxywarp]

that’s her. the Task Manager

[mammalianmammals]

[tamamita]

[fu-boss]

Real life Road Runner

[sahonithereadwolf]

Looney Tunes is real and happening outside.

[dancing-crow]

good lord its feet really do spin around in a circle when going fast

[truetgirl]

Car Trunk vs Car Boot: A clear win for US English, trunk was already a thing in which you stored items, frequently for transport.

Crisps vs Chips: I gotta admit, the Brits have this one. They're thin slices of potato that have been made crispy. No chipping of any materials involved.

Car Park vs Parking Lot: Equally matched. What's a car park? A place to park cars. What's a parking lot? An otherwise empty lot where you can park.

Elevator vs Lift: Both equally fail to address that the damn thing also goes down.

[lemontongues]

shoutout to slow growers, late bloomers, people whose plans got derailed by circumstances beyond their control or their own choices, people who never had a plan to begin with, people who have had to start over when theyre too old to feel like theyre supposed to be where they are, people who cant pretend theyre built for the environment theyre in, and everyone who's not living the life they thought they would. im proud of you for making it this far and i hope you keep going until youre happy ♡

[kabber]

[minmos]

i hope tumblr users never stop talking about punk music i think we deserve this

[jihadibarbie]

genuinely me

[thankeschoen]

girl realising they’re a lesbian call that 💡yurika  

[samcormac]

what’s the rush?

[rainwasheseverythingaway]

The time will pass anyway

[simena]

Anastasia Yarygina

[moveslikekeithrichards]

the role of the person in the passenger seat is not only navigator but secretary as well. you have to type up the drivers messages to random ladies on facebook about cbd cream & google whether that billy joel song was the theme song for that show or not

[moveslikekeithrichards]

you also have to provide a henchmans disdainful scowl at whoever the driver is flipping off in the target parking lot

[the-apocrypha]

other assorted roles may include

retrieval team for objects in the backseat

custodian of the parking garage tickets

"All clear my way"

en-route dining concierge

announcing "Horses!" when there are horses

[lynx-girl]

Don't forget the Tommy Gun

[help-my-ocs-breached-containmen]

You should never forget the Tommy Gun

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post