in which bakugou waits years till you finally come around
cw: reader is a bit of a grudge holder and has trouble to see bakugou in a different light, mention of injuries, there is a (1) very heated moment towards the end - MDNI!!! -, bakugou is soft towards reader the whole time, a bit angsty but there is comfort
wc: 9.5K
an: this is quite clumsy, but it’ll have a part two asap, there might be errors. i hope you all are doing well!! <333
———
bakugou knew you ever since the two of you were babies.
he was nearly a year older than you and he always made sure you knew that and it worked, while the two of you were younger. you always looked at him with stars in your eyes, drinking in every word he said, followed him around and let him take your hand. he didn’t understand back then why you started to distance yourself from him, he had a strong quirk and he could already read, so why were you more interested in that quirkless nobody?
his superiority complex and the need to be better than everyone didn’t help the situation either. he started to bully midoriya and when you kept sticking up for the damn nerd, he truly felt like he lost. the breaking point between the two of you was when he told midoriya to jump off a building so he might get a quirk in his next life. he never seen you so angry before that. you didn’t talk to him afterwards, not even after he got attacked by a villain, you only praised midoriya for helping him. not even when all the three of you got accepted into ua until the usj attack.
bakugou managed to save you from a villain that was trying to stab his knife through your chest, thankfully just in time he blasted the bastard away. you guys didn’t have the chance to talk, too busy to save your other classmates and you ran off to see midoriya again after he got injured at the end of the fight. later that night, you did drop by with some mochi from your favourite bakery and quietly thanking him for jumping in and not letting you die. he only mumbled a quiet ‘your welcome’ before you swiftly made your way out of the bakugou’s gates.
——
he always wanted to show you how strong he was, that he can protect you from anything that life throws at any moment, deku didn’t even have a quirk until it randomly appeared (he often wondered if you knew about it, were you hiding it together?) and now he seems to surpass him in everything. could he protect you better from the world than bakugou would ever be able to?
then the sports festival came around, you were all over deku again, congratulating him when he won the first round with a hug and at the back of his mind he wished it was him that you hugged. when he won the festival (he thought he didn’t deserve it with how half n half fainted), he hoped that you’d say something to him too. you didn’t say anything to him and he tried not letting it get to him. however, later that night he received a message from you, congratulating him on his win and he was glad no one saw him because his face felt like he was on fire. that made him so proud of himself, maybe you two will get along again?
——
you still don’t talk to him though, even when you needed help with some subject around midterms, you only asked deku again and that smart girl to help you. if you would’ve looked at him with your bright eyes, you would’ve seen how eager he would’ve been tutoring you and not shitty hair. when midterms pass and you both pass, he feels relieved that you’re coming to the training camp as well without any supplementary classes needed. he didn’t think at the time that the fact he got kidnapped will be the first time you come around and hug him in years.
you came to help them a second too late, only seeing him being warped away and telling deku to not follow him. you rushed to help deku after seeing his arms, trying to ignore the fact that bakugou just got kidnapped. when kirishima decided to take control and you guys should go and save him, you went along. you didn’t hate him, but you didn’t know where you two stand after all the things he did to your best friend in the past ten years. so when you saw him surrounded by villains before iida, midoriya and kirishima flew him out to safety, you felt relieved. yes, you don’t know where the two of you stand but you still care for him. you can also tell he looked surprised when your group reunited to watch all might’s last fight but you offered him a small smile after seeing there were no injuries on his body.
ua closed its gates three days prior to bakugou’s rescue and it remained closed for another week to become a boarding school with dorms. after further discussions between parents and teachers to ensure the safety of students, everything returned to normal.
two days before moving in, the bakugou’s bell was rung, and bakugou mitsuki was the one to answer the door. to say she was surprised to see the (h/c) coloured girl stand shyly in-front of their house was an understatement. mitsuki might be older, her son might think she’s a nagging old hag but she wasn’t stupid. the silent fallout between you and her son is still up in the air but she could never hold a grudge against you, she knows her son could be an outright asshole. mitsuki really believed that if god is real, then there is hope for the two of you to get along again.
“good afternoon sweet girl, long time no see, how have you been?” her warm smile instantly put you under ease and you gave her a timid smile of your own.
“good afternoon mitsuki, i’m doing alright, thank you. is katsuki home?” you quietly ask after you politely answer her question and the older woman can barely hide her smile widening at the fact that you still call her son by his first name. maybe things aren’t that bad anymore.
“yes, he is. the police advised for him to not go outside till school starts again. would you like to come in?” she moves to stand aside, but you shake your head at her invitation.
“no, no i just wanted to talk to him, if that’s okay” you look down to avoid her eyes that is the exact resemblance of her sons, well katsuki is the exact replica of mitsuki. she won’t push you to come in, so she yells loudly like usual for her son to come downstairs because someone is here to see him. when she turns towards you again is when she sees the plastic bag that you’re holding, seemingly full of things that looked like katsuki’s favourites. that made her feel warmth spread through her chest, you still remember what he likes.
“what is it old hag? can’t you just tell ‘em to-“ katsuki stops in the middle of his yelling when he reaches the front door, only to see you standing there. “hey” he stops next to his mum, his voice recognisably softer, which his mum would tease about but she decides against it, it’s not time for that yet.
“hey” you mumble, curling into your hoodie from the two pair of eyes (why do they look the exact same, it’s scary) staring at you. before bakugou could yell at his mum again to back off, mitsuki slips away after telling the two of you that she’ll see what masaru is up to. the both of you are grateful for that. after a few minutes of quietly standing you find the courage to talk to the ash blonde boy in front of you “i bought you a few things, i hope you’re doing okay with all the things that happened” you don’t look up to him instead you watch your fingers fiddle with your hoodie.
bakugou on the hand is focused on your head, waiting for you eyes to meet his, before gathering his thoughts. he’s slightly taken aback that you came to see him, even if it’s only because he got kidnapped but it means a lot to bakugou that you came to check up on him. “i’m good, heroes need to be tough and get though anythin’ that’s thrown at ‘em” he shrugged, wanting to come off cool and ignore how fast his heart was beating.
without saying another word, you gently wrap your arms around his middle and bury your face into his sturdy chest, fearing he might slip away again. bakugou’s eyes widen at the contact, suddenly not knowing what to do with his hands before clumsily circle them around your shoulders and pull you closer to him. he rest his chin on the crown of your head, noting to himself that you smell like strawberries and peaches and hopes you can’t feel his heart rate quicken (you did, your heart was beating fast too). after a while you pulled away, giving him a small smile before extending your hand with the plastic bag towards him. “i got you a few things, i hope they will cheer you up from all the trouble that you’ve experienced”
he takes it from you, feeling the blush on his cheeks spread. “thanks” he whispers and he hoped you know that he’s grateful for your hug too. before he could ask if you want to come in you slowly start to back off towards the road.
“i’ll see you in school katsuki, be good” your smile never faltered and you gave him a small wave. bakugou felt like maybe things were starting to change between the two of you for good as he muttered a “you too” after you and walked inside after you disappeared from his sight.
mitsuki, who’s been watching the two of you the whole time from one of the windows smiled to herself, maybe there was hope after all.
——
from them on, your interaction with bakugou increased by a bit, now you greet him around campus whenever you see him, but no more than that. bakugou longed to make conversations with you about literally anything, yet he didn’t force himself on you, happy either way.
after a week or too, you didn’t miss the way bakugou treated izuku before walking away, you know he said something to make the green haired boy stand there with slightly wide eyes. when the ash blonde was out of earshot, you walked up to izuku to make sure he’s alright. when you reached him, he motioned for you two to go outside and when you two walked through the doors, you both sat down on the stairs.
“i think he knows about ofa” izuku mumbled nervously, hands twitching in his lap as he stared ahead. “i mean it was expected, kacchan is very smart and-“ izuku went on his own train of thoughts and you gently grabbed one of his hand.
“it was inevitable either way, katsuki won’t tell a soul either way, we both know he’s not the type” you reassure your best friend, giving him a small smile.
“i know, he’ll probably get mad though haha” izuku lets out a forced laugh and you just move your hand to rub his back.
what you didn’t expect the next morning was that you’d find both boys wrapped in bandages and in a pretty beat up state. well if you had to guess, you were sure with katsuki, that the conversation between them would never had been just sitting next one other and discuss what’s on your mind. you were even more surprised when izuku told you that they are both in house arrest for a few days and have to clean the building. aizawa sensei did not go easy on them with the punishments.
bakugou only looked at the two of you while waiting for everyone to leave for classes, wishing you’d come up to him as well, but he decided to talk to you tonight about his conversation with midoriya and you were quite surprised later that afternoon when he walked up to you, asking if you two could talk somewhere private. you only nodded and followed him up to his room.
when you two reached your destination, he let you in first and you looked around his room since this is your first time here and it was very bakugou like and you swear you saw a few all might figurines and were those romance novels? you didn’t have much time to think about when he cleared his throat from his spot on the bed where he seemingly sat down while you were looking around.
“you knew about it, didn’t you?” he quietly asked, looking directly in your eyes with an unreadable emotion. you looked right back at him, thinking of the right answer, but he continued. “you always favoured that damn nerd” he added somewhat bitterly while looking away from you.
“it’s not about favouring anyone katsuki” his heart quickens when he hears you calling him by his first name “and it wasn’t my place to tell you about the inheritance of one for all.” he knows you’re right with the slight sharpness in your tone. “i found it out by accident too if it calms your nerves. i know him like the back of my hand so i knew something was up when he suddenly couldn’t spend time with me. so i followed him and saw him with all might, then there was no point in hiding it” you shrugged but your soft gaze remained on him.
bakugou decided to not try and argue with you, not wanting to lose the small amount of involvement you two built up. so he only nodded while standing up and walked you back down the common room without any other words being exchanged. you were kind of expecting him to go off on you but you didn’t want to talk about it any further, this is izuku’s business not yours, you’re just happy that he was given a chance to prove himself to be a hero.
——
the two of you go back to how things were before your conversation and soon enough winter approaches. after the matches with 1B, bakugou walked up to you while you were walking back to the dorms. you were talking with uraraka about todays events when he brushed his hand against your back with such gentleness that you thought it was one of the girls. when you turned around you abruptly stop and look at him, eyes round with wonder.
“can i talk to you for a second?” his rough voice makes it hard to understand his words at first with how quiet his voice is and you turn towards ochaco, who looked at the both of you with curiosity.
“i’ll meet you back at the dorms” you flash her a smile and she walks away from the two of with a nod. “is everything okay?” you ask bakugou as the two of you walk in a comfortable pace.
“i just, i wanted to tell you that you did great today” he slowly said while looking ahead. “i uh, i think your new move is quite cool” he added, feeling the redness spread across his cheeks.
“you think? it took me a while to get it right but i’m so happy that i was able to use it just like how i planned” you explain to him how you put the whole move together and all of his attention was on you, drinking your words in. this is probably the first time you talked this much to him since your childhood. “you know, i’m glad you’re becoming a team player” you add at the end and he knew you meant that he involved his team in his plans instead of just fighting on his own.
“yeah, as long as they follow what i say, anyone with me will win” he smirked as the two of you reached the dorm building, you turn towards him with a smile and he feels like he made a small accomplishment with you.
——
the next time the two of you have this amount of conversation is when when he wakes up from his coma after pushing izuku out of the way before shigaraki could hit him. you knew the two have been training together more recently after izuku manifested a second quirk during the training fight against class 1B and then thanks to todoroki, they both were able to do their hero work studies at endeavour’s agency where all three of them improved drastically. you were lucky enough to land a position at mirko’s agency where you learned a few new skills yourself. then bakugou accompanied izuku back to shigaraki to fight along and protect him, which resulted in him getting seriously injured.
you were waiting for izuku to wake up when you heard him stomping against the cold tile floor, shouting that izuku needs to wake up. your heart swells at the fact that he’s worried for your childhood friend, yet you were also worried for him, so without thinking you jump up and stop him abruptly when you gently hug him. you didn’t want to hurt his wound on his lower stomach nor the one on his shoulder so you pulled away soon after and that was enough time for the others to pick him up and take him back to bed and you followed them.
the rest of your friends walked out of the room the second you stepped in and closed the door behind them. you took a seat on his bed, right next to his hand and you took it in yours. you held it delicately, your tender caressing putting him at ease as you moved it into your lap. your uniform’s skirt slid up a little bit so his naturally warm hand was touching your bare thigh and he tried his best not blush at the contact. he was waiting for you to talk first when he felt something wet drop on his hand, so when he heard you sniffle, he instantly felt alarmed. he moved his hand up from your lap to cradle your face and turn you towards him. no words were needed as he pulled your shaking body towards his, engulfing you in a hug while stroking your back and face while hiding his face in your hair (if only the two of you knew back then that no less than two months later you’ll be in the same position with even more emotions).
——
the first time bakugou saw you truly angry with the deku was when he decided to leave you all behind, only leaving letters to explain how he’s putting everyone in more danger if he stays in one place.
“it’s not all for one who will kill him, i will, he should be more scared of me” you pave back and forth in the common rooms where everyone is gathered to find a way to get izuku back. “what is he thinking, does he think he can take them on without any back up? the second i see him, i will end him for real” your rant is not taken seriously by anyone, they were sharing your opinion but maybe they weren’t to as aggressive about it (izuku later admitted that he was indeed scared of your wrath and offered you a limited edition figurine of all might, which you refused to accept).
no one heard of him for a while now and none of you could sit around any longer and hope for a miracle. so when you all managed to get endeavour to meet with principal nezu in his office and find out where he was currently at, you all feel somewhat relived, now all you had to was bring him back.
you all reached the mall after saving him from the villain dictator, though he still put up a fight, thinking that no matter what, he’ll be better off alone. everyone told izuku something that influenced them thanks to him but he still didn’t listen. it was hard to look at him, all beat up and tired and you wonder when was the last time he had a proper meal and a good nights sleep. he only stopped hopping around, when bakugou started to talk to him and apologise for how he treated him all those years. your eyes felt glossy when bakugou rushed towards izuku’s fainting body.
——
you and bakugou didn’t talk much since then, too focused on training for the war. the two of talked again when you reached your temporary dormitory the day before luring all for one to you. a knock was heard on your door around 8pm and you wondered who it was. bakugou stood there, now changed out of his hero costume and only wore his usual comfy outfit. you let him in right away and you both sit on your bed. his fingers linger on your arm first before he slides his hand into yours, lacing your fingers together.
“you better not die out there (y/n)” the use of your name makes it sound more sincere and serious, the gentleness of his voice makes your heart flutter. you squeeze his hand as you grin up at him and lean your head against his shoulder.
“you better not die out there either katsuki” you add quietly, the both of you sitting on the edge of your bed in silence.
if only the two of you knew back then.
——
everything is blurry when you open your eyes, the lights are too bright and you swiftly close your eyes with a wince, suddenly aware of the amount scars you must’ve suffered from the war. your mind feels hazy as you try to find your bearings again. how long have you been out for? how is everyone doing?
you don’t even bother to sit up so just lay there with staring up at the ceiling, you’re alone in the room, maybe your injuries were too severe and as fast as you possibly can, you check if you still have your limbs attached to you. your left leg is hang up, seeming broken while the other one is only bandaged up. your arms aren’t broken, only a few of your fingers and out of the blue you remember taking a hit with your right shoulder. you don’t even want to think about the state your chest must be in. you rest your head on your pillow again as you force yourself to remember.
you remember winning, that’s for sure.
you also remember hitting your head so hard you barely managed to continue on fighting and that kind of answers why you have a hard time getting flashbacks. you’re so deep in thought that you don’t even notice someone walking in.
“oh my god shoji, she’s awake! go and get a doctor” you recognise jiro’s voice before you see her and you turn towards her direction. “you’re the last one to wake up, we were so worried!” she rushes to your side, her tone is full of worry.
“so i had been out for a while huh” you wish you could tell her that your ears are acting funny but you don’t have the heart to say anything when you see one of hers wrapped up, meaning her quirk is damaged. you are barely acknowledging how the door of your room is getting more busy, when a doctor walks in with a nurse.
“miss (l/n), you spent nearly two weeks in coma. although from those severe injuries you collected during the war needed time to heal.” then the doctor goes on about fractures, broken bones and you have a concussion as well. you only hummed in response as you stared up the ceiling again. according to the nurse, your bandages are holding up nicely and so are the machines around you but told you that she’ll be back in a few hours to check up on you.
once they leave your room, your family is the first one to come in. your mum sits down right away, next to your bed and you see her eyes are red, probably from crying all day and night, hoping you wake up soon, but she smiles at you with so much care you feel your eyes water. your dad is sitting down on your other side, his whole face looks relaxed now that you’re awake. you listen to them as the kindly scold you but they reassure you how proud they are of you for being so brave. your mum even told you that’ll she cook your favourite dish tomorrow and bring it in for you. they left two hours later, but your room became more busy after that.
your friends crowded around your bed, all feeling relief that finally you’re awake too. they are all bandaged up, but the happiness on their faces made you feel better. they all filled you in on their own journey with the hospital. when izuku walked in through the door, they all said their goodbyes and get well soons, promising to visit you tomorrow.
izuku was in no better state than you, needing a crutch to walk around. a wide smile is stretching on his face, as he looks at you and you return it.
“the hero of our future, how are you?” your voice is still rough from not using it in a while.
“it’s only because everyone helped me taking down all for one and shigaraki, we did it together. besides i’m feeling so much now that my best friend is awake.” he replies with fondness in his voice.
“who would’ve thought three years ago that we’d be here today like this” you let out a soft snicker.
“i’m so grateful for everything you’ve done for me, ever since we were kids” izuku tears up and you would wipe his tears for him if you could move your fingers. “kacchan is outside, you two should talk as well” he adds with a gentle tone and you only nod.
you remember him getting a deadly shot.
as izuku walks out, kirishima rolls bakugou in, he’s body in a wheelchair. he isn’t as moody as he usually is and his face looks so tender when he finally looks at you. when kirishima left, he leaps out of the chair and slowly sits next to you, just like you did two months ago. you wish you could feel his touch around your hand when he gently grabs it and when the two of you finally look at each other, your tears are unstoppable. he lefts your hand up to cradle his cheeks, seeking your comfort while sniffling and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him like this. no words are said this time around either, the both of you happy to be around the other.
——
it will take japan a long time to get back on track after the destruction, the war had caused. everyone is still experiencing the aftermath, but things are looking bright.
you’re reading an article about another city being successfully built up again as you walk towards your classroom. your third year only started two months ago, the pressure of graduating and becoming an actual, full time hero is somewhat taking a tool on all of you. however some of your classmates know how to bring the fun in during stressful times.
“y’all, barbecue night tomorrow, how does that sound?” mina loudly asks as she looks around the room and everyone gets rather excited about the idea, excitedly chatting with each other. you walk towards izuku, to show him the article on your phone, knowing he still feels like he was the cause of the war, so news like this reassure him somewhat, that no one blames him. he leans down to read it and he excitedly rambles to you that half of japan had been rebuilt already with some help from overseas. the two of you continue talking until aizawa sensei walks in tiredly as always and the chatter among the class dissolves and everyone sits down to their desks.
the rest of the day goes by uneventful, everyone is preparing to blow some steam off during the weekend. bakugou comfortably sits on one of the sofa’s with legs spread, his arms is resting on the headrest as he lazily scrolls through his phone. it wasn’t his turn to make dinner tonight either and kirishima is away training with a few others. bakugou prefers to train early in the morning so he doesn’t have to listen to the nagging of his friends about not spending enough time with them in the afternoons.
he feels someone plop down next to him and when he turns his head at the person who interrupted his rather ‘productive’ time, he stops the shout bubbling in his throat when he sees your bright (e/c) eyes staring at him. his features visibly soften as he takes in your face, he knows you came back from training and just got out of the showers, your usual scent of strawberry and peaches fills his nostrils and your hair still damp. you’re dressed comfortably, wearing shorts and a baggy shirt and you’re eating a granola bar.
your relationship with bakugou hadn’t changed much since the war ended apart from the two of you talking much more than before. your second year was hectic, the war caused difficulties for everyone, the two of you didn’t really have that much time to be around each other, either way the both of you are happy that the two of you are working your way towards a blossoming, strong friendship. bakugou’s behaviour changed since his first year, he matured and learned to keep his anger under control, mainly around you. he’s also larger than before, his tank top barely hiding the bulging muscles or the baggy pants are barely loose around the thick of his thighs. bakugou looks much more grown up as well, sometimes sporting a stubble and his hair is more tamed at the top with a visible undercut and easily towers over people.
it’s not just him though, you’ve grown into a beautiful young lady as well. you’re hair is longer than it used to be, you lost your baby face and gained sharpness to your cheeks and your curves are more defined. kindness always radiates from your form whenever you’re around and (to bakugou’s dismay) admirers found their way to you, but you politely rejected their advances.
“dinner’s ready soon, so don’t stuff yourself full off that” he gently scolds you and your lips curl up in a smile as you take another bite.
“i know katsu, but it was yelling my name! how could i just leave it there?” you giggle as you fake a pout and you lean more into the sofas cushions with your side and bakugou shakes his head, but a small grin finds its way to his lips. the two of you engage in a small talk about how kaminari electrified sero by mistake, make the poor boy push against a passing midoriya, resulting the both roll around the floor.
during your conversation with the blonde, more people started to make their way into the common room and soon enough dinner was ready too. bakugou helps you stand up from the couch as he extends his hand for you to take and pulls you up tenderly and you’re pressed against his for a second before you thanked him with a smile for helping you and left to join uraraka at one of the tables (he wished you’d sit with him).
the next day, the height alliance was echoing of laughter, the atmosphere was welcoming as 3B joined your class for the night. there are a few games planned, like mario kart, uno and other board games, the playlist jiro put together was playing on the speakers. you were standing next to uraraka as you listened to some of the girls talking about a new boy band that recently came out but you often found your attention slip away and your eyes involuntarily found bakugou every now and then. he was sitting on one of the couches, seemingly in a conversation with a few others. everyone is wearing causal clothes instead of the comfy joggers and shorts and you have to admit, bakugou looks very hot in his black jeans and his simple black shirt. it doesn’t mean that bakugou doesn’t sit like he usually is, his thighs are spread but this time his hands in his pockets.
you never really focused on your romantic feelings towards anyone, you might be a late boomer for that, but even if you and bakugou had a fallout, for some reason it was always obvious that you had some sort of feelings for him. he was the very first friend you made, of course he’ll have a special place in your heart, even so the way he treated midoriya during your middle school years, barely giving him a chance to have a somewhat normal childhood set you off. for a long time back then, you weren’t sure if there was any way of the two of you becoming friends again, but he kept proving himself from time to time that he isn’t the same as he was back then.
the realisation of your feelings was around the time when uraraka and midoriya got together. uraraka shyly asked you one day, if there was anything going on between you and midoriya and you knew of the brown haired girl’s crush on you best friend and at first you weren’t sure what to say to her. you never thought of midoriya that way, you two were more like siblings rather than lovers materials and in the best way possible, you tried to explain that to uraraka. unbeknownst to her, you also knew about midoriya’s crush on uraraka and you helped to set the two up together. the three of you were walking around campus, the couple were holding hands and when you looked at their laced fingers, bakugou popped into your head with a warm feeling and how nice it would be to hold his. you abruptly stopped at the thought of him in that way and you start to shake your head, making the couple walking with you to slow down and you watch at you with a concerned look.
“what’s wrong (y/n)?” midoriya’s voices reaches you and you stop shaking your head. when you turn to look at them, your eyes wide and your face is flushed red. uraraka opens her mouth to talk but you’re faster.
“i think i might have feelings for katsuki” you whisper, hoping the two catched what you said. midoriya’s face looks more calm than a second ago and uraraka’s lips are stretched in a wide grin. “okay, let’s go! do not tell a soul or bring it up again!” you quicken up your pace and start walking ahead of the couple and after a snicker they follow after.
“we should play truth or dare!” mina’s voice brings you out of your rather embarrassing memory and you see everyone moving towards the sofa’s. there is many of you so the chance of you getting picked is low, so you make your way where everyone is gathering. you make eye contact with jiro when you’re looking around for an empty space and she’s flashing a small smile, patting the seat next to her and you beam at her for offering.
when everyone is settled, the game begins. at first it starts out innocent, with a few easy questions like ‘what’s your most embarrassing story?’ or ‘worst date’, but after a while the boys start to feel risky with the dares and suddenly there are faces covered in lipstick marks, izuku had to shout ‘i’m here’ from the rooftop and so on. things were light till mina turned to bakugou.
“truth or dare, mr. grumpy pants?” she smirks at him, eyes glinting in slight mischief and that’s never good.
“raccoon eyes, i’m not even fucking playing” bakugou shouts at the pinkette, making her smirk widen.
“are you scared?” she taunted.
“i’m not! truth” he mumbled the last word.
“do you have a crush on anyone kacchan?” kaminari leans in before mina could ask him the same question before quickly pulling away so he’s face doesn’t get blown off.
“what’s it to you? i do, whatever. now leave me the hell alone” bakugou growls while standing up and retreats to his room before anyone could get more information out of him. kirishima smiled knowingly after him and made eye contact with you, which made you furrow your eyebrows. so bakugou likes someone, she must be pretty lucky then, you think, trying to not let the sadness be apparent on your face.
the rest of the night went by, despite the bomb bakugou dropped on everyone about having a crush, the bakusquad started to make plans to get the ash blonde tell them who it was. later, around 2am, everyone decided to wrap the party up, thanking for 3B for joining you all and you’ll clean up the mess in the morning, too tired to get it done this late.
you take in a huge breath when you step into your room, relieved to finally be alone. it’s not like, you hate being around your friends, but sometimes this amount of people make you feel overwhelmed. you also can’t stop thinking about bakugou, your heart too loud to hear your thoughts and you wish so badly to be able to sleep right now and not feeling this ache of wanting him, knowing he probably wants somebody else.
——
the next few weeks are all the same, packed with tests, training, homework and the excitement for the training camp bubbling in your stomach. although, all of the stress leaves you in a second when you pass all of your tests and pack for the camp. you’ve been thinking about bakugou more and more and you managed to avoid him for your own sake. the uncertainty of having a chance with him made you feel nervous being around him, like you aren’t delusional, it would be weird if he actually thought of you that way since your fallout and all. you also don’t want to lose the friendship the two of you managed to build up again, so you’d rather stand aside and watch him be happy with someone else than losing him.
with thoughts like that, it was hard to get a decent amount sleep, you woke up quite groggy and moody the next morning. you took your time to get ready, coaxing (trying) yourself into a happier mood before anyone realises that something is off. you aren’t in the mood to explain yourself to anyone and you’re more than grateful for midoriya and uraraka for not bothering you about the whole thing you admitted to them.
a knock interrupted your thought process and you loudly asked the person on the other side to wait a second before opening the door, you were in the middle of dressing up in your uniform. bakugou was leaning against the door when you opened the door, watching you fumble with your tie and he quietly scoffed to himself before gently pulling your hands away and helped you. the sudden shock of seeing him caused you to freeze up at first but you let your hands fall down next to your sides while staring ahead of you.
“there dumbass” he rasps, the morning voice is still evident, making your brain hazy. “do you need help with your luggage? the bus just pulled up and we are putting our shit in” his voice is low as he slowly talks, wanting you to look up at him with your pretty hues, however your eyes remained on his shirt.
“that would be nice, thank you” you don’t look at him, instead you’re making your way back inside your room, then pull a large suitcase towards him.
bakugou picks it up without effort, vermilion eyes still trained on your figure “oi, are you okay?” his voice is now gentle compared to his usual harsh tone, stepping closer to you and you don’t move.
“yeah, i just didn’t sleep well last” you mumble out. “but it’s okay, i’ll just sleep on the bus” you force a smile on your face and before he could call you out on barely sleeping, you swiftly turn around to get your backpack and close your door. “let’s go, we’ll be late” you grab his arm and make your way down to the others. once you walk out of the building, you let go of bakugou’s arm and quietly walked towards the others.
bakugou won’t admit it, but he liked the warmth of your hand on his arm. although lately he feels like you’ve been pulling away from him, had he upset you somehow? bakugou doesn’t even want to think about the two of you falling out again, he knows he won’t be able to take it and that will tear his tough exterior down, he can’t let neither happen. bakugou decided the second the bus left and kirishima sat down next to him that during the one week of training camp, he will talk to you about his feelings, even if he knows that you won’t reciprocate them.
the ride towards the destination where your training camp will take place is three hours away from the school. uraraka asked you if it’s okay for her to sit with midoriya, to which you gave her a reassuring smile with a small nod. tsu takes a seat next to you a few minutes later, asking if you’re doing alright and you just put your head on her shoulder while mumbling about how tired you feel. you don’t even realise how you fell asleep till you feel tsu gently nudging you to wake up because you arrived. you don’t feel any less tired nonetheless, the aching feelings never leave. the boys help you girls with your suitcases when you step down from the bus and you all walk inside the large house you’ll be staying at.
this time, two people will share one room instead of everyone sharing one with their genders. mina jumps on you right away, begging for you to join her and you only grab her hand and drag her towards one of the rooms. the second you walk into the room, you plop down on the bed that’s closer to the window.
“we aren’t doing anything today, right?” you ask mina with your eyes closed.
“no we only start on monday, so today we can just relax and settle in!” she excitedly replied and you hear a bunch of things scatter around the floor already.
“good, i’m taking a nap” you pull the covers on top of you, only realising how drained you feel mentally. maybe you should talk to midoriya and uraraka about it, in hopes of feeling better, yeah you’ll do that once you slept.
“girl, what-“ mina doesn’t finish her sentence, already hearing your even breathing. she wonders if you’re doing alright, you’ve been kind of strange lately. at first she thought it was because you were stressed over the exams but she isn’t so sure anymore and mina damn well knows that a certain ash blonde boy is worried about you. mina didn’t have to ask bakugou if he liked you more than a friend, it was always evident since first year how he’s much more gentle around you. she decided not to push it with bakugou though, she doesn’t want to make you or him uncomfortable and mina knows that bakugou knows what he’s doing, she’s just there to support him even if she doesn’t know how you feel towards him.
after a few hours, you wake up to find your room empty. mina’s colourful things, mainly pink, fill up the half of the room and you’re surprised to see how the room isn’t a mess, well yet. you look at your phone to check the time with wide eyes when you realise, you’re already in the evening. there was a message from your pink friend to let you know that she’ll come and wake you up before dinner if you are still asleep then. you stand up from your bed and lock the door so no one walks in on you while changing. you change into a pair of gym shorts and a loose fitting shirt and you unpack your clothes and other necessities first before unlocking the door and leave your room to join the others. you hope they aren’t mad at you for not being around them lately (they are more worried than mad).
everyone is hanging outside, the camp had a large garden with a small pond at the back and a few benches with tables paired surrounded it. there was a larger table set up as well with snack and drinks for now, with cups and plates as well and you headed towards it.
“look who decided to join us!” kirishima exclaims loudly with a large smile plastered on his face and swings his arm around your shoulder, around you everyone cheers “you good?” he asks with a quieter tone, knowing it’s only a matter of seconds before everyone else surrounds you.
“yeah, just awfully hungry!” you let out a small laugh when you grab a bag of chips. “when’s dinner anyways?” you turn towards him curiously, knowing your appetite won’t go away till you had eaten a proper dinner.
“in half an hour” kirishima chuckles as he lets go of you (he felt his best friend’s red eyes on him the whole time and he doesn’t want to die anytime soon) and asks if you wanted to join him and the others which you only nod to, mentally preparing to face bakugou after your rather awkward encounter earlier that morning. towards your way to the table, mina stands up to greet you with a hug.
“i hope i didn’t wake you, i tried to be quiet while unpacking.” she says with a grin while rubbing your arms. you shake your head, mirroring her expression and she ushered you to sit down… next to bakugou.
“hi” you quietly greet the grumpy boy with a small smile, trying not to make him feel uncomfortable for pressing against him too much because mina took a seat next to you, sitting too closely. his left hand is resting on the backrest of the bench between you two and he’s only wearing a red wifebeater with black shorts, your thighs press tightly against his and you’re grateful he’s sitting like this because you’re not sure if you could handle being pressed against his hard chest. he only gives you a nod before he drinks from his water battle, his eyes are unreadable, his feature are blank. you must’ve made him upset because even when the two of you weren’t on talking terms, he never acted like this, so close yet so far away from you.
maybe he knows about your crush on him?
before you could overthink, mina turns towards you excitedly with sero and kaminari, asking for your opinion of something. it lead to you easily engaging in a conversation with them nearly forgetting about bakugou sitting next to you, realising that he hasn’t talked since you sat down. maybe he didn’t want to talk with you around?
“i’m gonna go and find ochaco, i’ll talk to you later okay?” you stood up and smiled at your friends as you excused yourself, kirishima looked at you with both brows raised, seemingly returned from somewhere. you only gave him a smile that didn’t reach your eyes but he only gave you a warm one back before turning towards his friends.
you walked towards where uraraka was sitting and when she made eye contact with you her rosy cheeks spread with a smile. you sat down next to her and she excitedly included you on what they were talking about with the dekusquad, feeling the lingering gaze of bakugou’s eyes on you, but you didn’t look at him at all.
bakugou didn’t want you to leave them, he knew he was acting differently and he didn’t talk during your conversation but he missed hearing you. hearing your voice is like a remedy for his aching heart and when you sat down, nearly pressing up against him, it took every ounce of his self control to not pull you close and have you nestled in his arms. like when kirishima had his arms around your shoulders, he so damn wished it was him holding you close like that and that’s why, he’ll ask you to talk to him after dinner.
dinner rolled around and you ate like a madman, snacks can only satisfy your appetite to a certain extent and the food that was served tasted like heaven. you still prefer bakugou’s cooking though. after dinner, a few still remained in their seats while others started to mingle. you were peacefully chatting with uraraka when her eyes jumped up and back down to you and before you could look up, a warm hand gently brushed against your shoulder.
“can we talk?” a deep voice rasps, your eyes look widely at uraraka who in turn only gives you a reassuring smile and you turn around to face bakugou.
“yeah, sure” you nervously smile and you swear your heart will come out of your throat at this rate. the rest of your way towards bakugou’s room is a blur as you follow him, your knees feel wobbly and you could empty your dinner on the floor.
bakugou let’s you in before himself and closes the door after the both of you are inside. it seems like he’s sharing a room with kirishima because the crimson riot blanket is something the redhead would own. that makes you feel a tad bit better and you sit down on kirishima’s bed, fingers finding the soft material of the blanket. bakugou sits down on his bed across from you, leaning back on his hands, vermillion eyes taking you in. his posture makes him look so sure of himself but that’s further away from how he actually feels. bakugou doesn’t know how to talk to you without feeling his heart racing or the tips of his ear turn red and the so called butterflies go wild in his stomach.
you patiently wait for him to start, the floor seems to be a great spot to look at and your leg is bouncing but it all stops when he finally starts talking to you “have i done somethin? you’ve been ignorin’ me lately.” he lowly grumbles, eyes never leaving you.
“i didn’t, no i-“ you don’t even know what to say, too caught off guard by his question. “i wasn’t uh ignoring you” you whisper nervously and you could faint right this instant.
“ya weren’t? ‘cos it felt like it” his voice sounded louder than before and now he leans back up with his arms crossed. “thought we started to get closer ya know” you look up at him when he says that, eyes slightly widen and he’s looking away from you now, pouting. he’ll knew if you lie to him, so you don’t know what to tell him. you’re scared to tell bakugou the truth about your feelings for him because you could ruin everything (you wouldn’t) you have with him.
“i couldn’t be around you knowing you like someone else” the words come out before you could stop them and you quickly cover your face after the realisation hits you. “i’m so dumb, i’m sorry. i know there is no chance of you liking me, like i didn’t even talk to you for years before ua because i was so damn mad, for how you treated izuku. and like i know i didn’t have a reason to, even izuku told me to not be afraid of you, i didn’t know if you’d end up hating me too during middle school. but you’re not a bad person on the inside, i’ve come to learn that and i really like being around you, i’ve realised there isn’t really anyone else for me but you and it hurts how much i need you knowing you don’t want me” you’re sobbing into your hands as the words come out wobbly and you can’t stop them leaving your lips.
it takes bakugou a few minutes to actually understand what you’re saying and he feels relieved knowing you feel the same as him. he quickly gathers his thoughts because you are literally breaking down infront of him and he’s just sitting there pouting like an idiot.
“oi, look at me” he gently pleaded as he kneeled down infront of you, large warm hands attached themselves to your smaller wrist to tug your hands out of his view. when you let him, your eyes are glossy and red, yet he still thinks you’re beautiful. “i- fuck, i was worried you’d never talk me again after how i acted. fuck, i don’t even know what i did to deserve even the smallest moments with ya.” he lets out a dry chuckle, but his eyes never leave yours. “when you started to be more open towards me, as much as i wished to, i didn’t want force myself on you and lose you again. i’ve always known since we were kids that i want to be with you.” his thumbs started to stroke your cheeks as he takes a hold of your face and you look at him bewilderingly from his confession. “and now you’re here tellin’ me what i’ve been craving to hear for years now, it feels fucking insane.” he leans in closer now, looking up at you with love filled eyes, hands wondering down from your face to your hips. “if you’ll have me, i’ll treat you like you deserve. so please have me (y/n)” he’s begging now, he will take whatever pain life throws at him, as long as you’re by his side.
“katsuki..” your voice is small, barely audible as you try to process what is going on, bakugou likes you. it’s you who he likes and he wants to be with you just as much as you want to be with him. “i’ll die if it isn’t you i’m with” you whimper and he pulls you closer to meet your body halfway. one of his hands sneak back up to your cheek and your arms wrap around his neck.
your lips finally meet, moulding perfectly together and it’s quite clumsy since it’s both of your first kiss, but it doesn’t matter. your hand sneaks up into his ash blonde hair to pull him closer to you before he leaves for a second to breath, and then leans back in, both hands now placed on your hips again and pulls you impossibly close. his tongue is licking at your bottom lip to let him in, which you do and completely let go of yourself.
suddenly you feel your back pressed against the soft mattress and bakugou is above you, kissing you like it’s your last one. a hand wanders down your thighs and he pulls away a little to ask for permission and when you lean back up for more, he moves your thigh out of the way and presses himself closer. now with your hips touching, you whimper into the kiss when he ruts into as gently as he can, he pulls away to kiss along your jaw and down to your neck, trying to find that sweet spot of yours. you moan when he kisses where your shoulder and neck meets and he starts to kiss, lick and suck at the spot all at once.
your thighs squeeze his waist as his movement never stop and the repeated actions on your neck doesn’t help either. when bakugou finishes he leaves with a small kiss on the bruising spot and moves back to your lips. the kiss this time is more hungry and hot, but before things could be taken any further, bakugou leans back and moves so you two can see each other.
“let me take you out first, princess” he looks down at you with a soft look and his lips are plump and wet from the kiss.
“okay” you smile wildly at him and he pulls the both of you up so the both of you are sitting up and brings you in his arms.
“i’m so fucking happy that you finally came around, it was worth to wait all these years” he whispers against your ears and you let out a giggle.
“thank you for waiting for me kats” you peck his lips and for the first time ever, bakugou’s face breaks out in a large grin.
(midoriya, uraraka, kirishima and mina were all standing outside the room until the two of you started kissing. they all smiled to each other, feeling happy for their friends and relieved that the two of you finally confessed)
summary: When Camie Utsushimi elopes on the eve of her society debut, scandal threatens to destroy the family’s prospects. It’s up to you, a maid, to impersonate Camie throughout the Season, long enough that her elder sister can make a match. The only trouble? Lord Shouto Todoroki is also intent on making a match—and that match, quite impossibly, appears to involve you.
tags/warnings: romance, regency au, class differences, hidden identity/identity porn, aged up characters, eventual smut
Over the course of the ensuing weeks, your certainty only grew worse: you were developing feelings for Lord Shouto.
You sent another letter to Camie, ashamed to tell her that not only had you continued the scheme against her express wishes, but now you were falling for the worst person possible. She wrote back, heartbroken to hear it, demanding once more you put a stop to things before they went too far.
But you couldn’t help yourself. You would never again get time with Lord Shouto–you wanted to revel in it as long as you could.
You reassured yourself that he meant to marry the princess–a rumor that was only growing stronger as the season crept onwards with no hint of a proposal to anyone from his corner–and he meant only to use you as a deterrent to the other scheming misses and matchmaking mothers crowding the parlors and assembly rooms of Musutafu.
You hoped that once your own scheme was uncovered he wouldn’t hold it against you–would understand that you’d liked spending the time with him, but had never desired to trap him in any sort of romantic understanding.
Lord Shouto made things so much more difficult for you by continuing to be so horribly good. He was kind and attentive, and so unexpectedly funny, you couldn’t help but fall harder.
He sought you out many times a week, taking you for several more promenades, insisting on a dance at every ball, and even took you riding in the park. He even let you take the reins when you’d reached an emptier stretch of road where no one might see you driving, showing you how to steer his set of bays and smiling that gentle smile when you got the hang of it and urged them to go faster.
He called several times more, bringing another bouquet of flowers for you–tiny bright jonquils tangled with orange winter cherries, and hedged with short-trimmed ferns–that you managed to squirrel away into your tiny bedroom without the Utsushimis seeing.
He was on your mind so constantly that you found yourself ducking into the haberdashery on an afternoon Miss Uraraka and Lady Asui had invited you out. An idea seized you as you had looked into the window, and you found yourself drawn over to the small selection of handkerchiefs for sale.
You didn’t have much in the way of spending money, sending most of it back to your family, but you had just enough to buy a linen square bordered in a dark blue. Miss Ochako and Lady Asui watched you almost too knowingly as you did.
You worked late into the night that evening, tucked up in your bed with embroidery thread and a book you’d ferreted out of the late Mr. Utsushimi’s study propped open in your lap–a Greek primer, with a tiny section on Ancient Greek. You found that their phonetic system did not align quite so neatly with yours, but you made do, stitching the closest approximation of Lord Shouto’s name in the Greek alphabet–how it might be spelled had he found himself there.
You hoped he would find it fun, and not too silly–-and that he would understand that you had liked him enough to think of him, even when your deception was uncovered.
Giving to him was another matter, however, as you found yourself too shy and girlish on the several occasions you saw him next. It stayed tucked away in your reticule, burning at your wrist.
You finally resolved to give it to him at a dinner party at Lady Cathleen’s, where you might hopefully be able to flee to the other end of the table and not speak to him for the rest of the night. Caroline had informed you that tables were set according to rank, meaning the Utsushimi family would find themselves at the foot of the table, with Lord Shouto all the way at the head.
In preparation, you donned the most secure of Camie’s gowns—which was not saying much—but you felt better for the more protective, higher neckline, the muted blue of its color which would draw little attention your way, for it almost bordered on the drab palette of married women or spinsters. You knew Camie had chosen it for the contrast it would draw to her largest, sparkliest choker of paste jewels, which you carefully ignored in favor of her smallest pendant.
You would be as well hidden as you could manage, at the other end of the table, and with any luck Lady Cathleen would dress her table with elaborately tall candlesticks and floral displays you might duck behind.
In fact, once you thought of it, you were almost certain you could hide Lord Shouto’s gift at the table itself, that you might not have to confront him in person with the full force of both your stupidity and your regard for him. You wouldn’t even need to witness his expression upon its receipt.
It was with that thought that you stuck to the edges of the drawing room as guests crowded into Lady Cathleen’s estate, drawing as little notice as you could. You requested the restroom as soon as you were able, instead sneaking off towards the dining room to scout out Lord Shouto’s place.
Except—as you scanned the head of the table–his place card was nowhere to be found. You knew he was coming–Mrs. Utsushimi hadn’t shut up about it, and besides that, Lord Shouto had told you as much himself. Brow furrowing, you wandered around the table.
A little shocked thrill went through you to see his name next to Camie’s, towards the opposite end of the table he should have been. Camie’s name also had managed to come unmoored from the Utsushimi block that occupied the end of the table, several seats away from Caroline and Mrs Utsushimi.
You wondered at the specificity of the mistake, and then a thought occurred to you.
Well–if there had been a mistake, it only made sense to use it to your advantage.
You quickly tucked your gift under Lord Shouto’s place card, very carefully that it might only be seen once he’d moved it. And then you took your own place card away and carried it down the table to Caroline’s spot. You’d just managed to replace hers with yours when a low voice carried across the room.
“I suppose I should be less surprised to find you in another deserted room.”
You froze, arm still outstretched over Caroline’s seat, your eyes darting up to the entryway. Lord Shouto stood there, looking as preternaturally handsome as ever. The candlelight glinted off the white of his hair, burnishing it gold, and the shadows danced in the hollows of his cheeks, the divot under his full mouth. He was dressed in a dark gray dinner jacket, a cravat tied immaculately at his throat.
He took a step into the room, a white eyebrow raised.
“Lord Shouto,” you said hoarsely, quickly whipping Caroline’s card behind your back. Perhaps he hadn’t seen what you’d been up to. “I—it’s not what it looks like.”
“Then you are not rearranging Lady Cathleen’s seating placards?” he asked in his smooth baritone. He continued into the room, circling the table to you.
A hunted feeling crept over you. “I–it’s funny it should look that way…but I, um…”
Lord Shouto drew closer, leaning in, and a gloved hand touched the place card in your fingers, tugging it gently from your grasp. He glanced down at it, a tiny smile touching his mouth. “You’d not been about to seat Miss Caroline next to me, had you?”
His gaze darted over to the middle of the table where his placard sat, like he’d already known there’d been some mistake with his placement.
Hot embarrassment burned its way through your veins, and you snatched Caroline’s place marking out of his hand. “As a matter of fact, the only empty spot is next to you,” you said, attempting to make your way around him to put it down.
“And that would not be because you had already moved another place card, would it?” Lord Shouto asked mildly, stepping in front of you so that you almost headbutted his chest. You backpedaled wildly, almost tripping over the hem of your gown.
“I—what proof have you?” you demanded, trying your best to sound as though you hadn’t just done exactly that.
Lord Shouto’s smile widened, a rare sight, and it sent a lick of heat right down your spine. You clutched a chair, aware of how stupid it was that a smile was about to send you into a swoon.
Those long fingers reached out and pulled Caroline’s place card from your grip again, and Lord Shouto produced your own, switching your places once more. “The proof that I asked Lady Cathleen to seat me here, with you,” he said simply.
A horde of butterflies exploded in your chest again, and your face went hot.
How could he say things like that so easily? An ask like that was a clear declaration of his favor–something you very much did not deserve, all things considered.
“Your Grace,” you said, in protest.
Lord Shouto’s smile flashed white in the candlelight, a clever half-moon. “It was you who doubted I might reign in my presumption by the end of the season. You should be pleased to find yourself proven right.”
Pleased didn’t quite cover the breadth of emotion you were feeling–embarrassment, guilt, and pleasure all warred with one another in your chest.
“Really, I was doing you a favor,” you insisted, gesturing at Caroline’s place setting. “She is a great conversationalist, and very pleasing to look at.”
“As you have said perhaps hundreds of times,” Lord Shouto acknowledged. “It is just as well I can look at her from across a table.”
You frowned up at him. “I am beginning to think you do not mean to find a wife, as you’d hinted.”
Lord Shouto bent his head so he could lean closer, and your hip bumped the table as you stepped back, nervous with his sudden proximity.
“Then you did take my meaning that day,” he said, his voice low.
Your skin prickled at the layer of intent in his tone.
“And I am only trying to help you now,” you told him. “You’ll get very little mileage out of me as your dining companion, considering I cannot wed.”
“Cannot,” Lord Shouto murmured, as if turning the word over in his mouth.
“Caroline can, however,” you continued as though you hadn’t heard him. “And I understand she is a very desirable match. She’s acquired several admirers, you know, and you won’t want to dally. There is a Mr. Awase who is very keen.”
“You say it as though you are not a desirable match,” Lord Shouto said.
His words were like a thunderbolt, striking through you. The very idea of you as a desirable match!
You laughed, but Lord Shouto’s face did not change, and he pressed even closer, close enough that you found yourself trapped against the table. Lightning zinged in your veins as you registered the heat of him over you, your blood singing with the thrill of a man so close.
“You do not believe so?” he asked. He was close enough that you could feel the exhalation of his words on your mouth.
Your head swam with the ridiculousness of the question, and the press of him so close. You scrounged around for an appropriate ripost, but then Lord Shouto’s face drew even nearer.
Your breath seized in your chest, and you stared silently up at him, heart racing.
Outside, a loud laugh sounded, startling you, and you jumped, almost smacking your forehead into Lord Shouto’s nose.
He dodged neatly, smiling ruefully and stepping away. But there was a light in his eyes like he was strangely satisfied–as though he’d confirmed something.
“We should go, lest we are discovered here, and your reputation compromised,” he said. “You should take your leave first.”
You could tell he meant to prevent you from switching the place settings again once he was gone, and you squinted at him suspiciously. He looked far too pleased with himself, and his smile seemed to grow a fraction wider. It was your observation that his eyes slivered into little crescents when he truly smiled that finally sent you stumbling out of the dining room, your heartbeat tripping over itself.
You found your absence had gone unnoticed when you arrived back in the drawing room, though Lord Shouto’s entrance was intently noted by every single set of female eyes. Several fans came out, flapping back immaculately coiffed curls, and Lord Shouto’s face went politely blank.
You stifled a laugh at his expense.
Eventually you were let into the dining room and you found yourself at Lord Shouto’s side once more. Lady Cathleen’s eyes flickered interestedly over you and tried not to look too strange or suspicious under her attentions.
You were pointedly studying the table linens with avid interest when you felt Lord Shouto stiffen beside you. Out of the corner of your eye you saw him draw the handkerchief out from under his place card, and you found you couldn’t lift our eyes to his face, too anxious of his reaction. You adopted a sudden fascination with the centerpiece to your opposite side–until a gloved hand touched yours in your lap.
You startled, almost knocking over your water glass, fingers reflexively seizing on the hand that had touched you.
You glanced up at Lord Shouto as his own fingers tightened on yours, and found him smiling that tiny, private smile of his. His gaze was almost molten in the candlelight.
“I see rearranging the place settings was not your only objective,” he said. There was a touch of pleasure in his voice, so rich and low. The sound made your blood fizz like a bottle of champagne had just been poured down your veins.
His hand shifted, his wrist resting on your thigh, and your breathing went shallow at the feeling of a man’s hand where it had never been before.
“I–you might think it’s silly—” you groped for something to say.
“I can think of no gift I have ever liked more,” he said.
The praise flooded through you in a warm wave of pleasure, and your ears went hot. “I…should like if you would think of me fondly, after this season,” you said.
Lord Shouto’s brows creased, and that full mouth pursed a little in thought. You tried very hard not to think of kissing it.
“You say that as if you do not plan we should ever see each other again,” he said carefully.
A hot stab of panic lanced through you when you realized you’d almost hinted at the dissolution of your scheme. You searched for some response.
“I–there is only one objective to the season,” you said. “After a match is made, I’ll have no reason to return to Musutafu, unless my husband’s estate is at a close enough remove.”
“I thought you did not mean to marry?” Lord Shouto asked. You almost jumped again when a server reached between the two of you to serve the first course–a pale soup swimming with carrots and rice.
Fuck, that was right. You had said you’d not meant to make a match. “Do not worry, Lord Shouto. You are safe from any attempts on your virtue.”
But Lord Shouto did not look at all reassured by this. “Then you do wish to marry?” he asked.
You did not see a way around answering truthfully. “I–well, yes, eventually,” you admitted. You had at least had hopes at one point, before meeting Lord Shouto, before understanding that no other man might ever measure up. Gentry though he might be, you’d never felt as light-headed, as happy, as surprisingly comfortable in another person’s presence.
You had not meant to feel quite like this about him.
“One day, I should like to,” you said, trying not to sound morose. One day, a long time from now, perhaps you would have enough distance that you might once again find the prospect of another man palatable.
Lord Shouto’s gloved thumb smoothed over your knuckles, and you realized you’d still been gripping his hand. You reluctantly let go, but he seemed to feel no need to move his hand.
“One day and the end of this season sound rather distant from one another,” Lord Shouto said.
You stared into your soup to avoid having to look at him, guilt settling heavily in your stomach. “It is complicated,” you said. “All there is to know, my lord, is that I plan this should be my last season in Musutafu. And that I should like you to think of me fondly, as I shall think of you. For all that you seem to insist on dwelling in darkened rooms, you have been a bright spot in this season.”
You pointedly studied the silverware, wanting to start in on your soup to halt conversation, but found that you could not remember how Caroline had instructed you to dine. Was it outward in, or inward out?
Your hand hesitated over the silverware, and Lord Shouto’s finally rose from your lap to press gently to the outward-most spoon.
“It’s this one,” he said, leaning in. “Outward in.”
That smile was back on his mouth, and it felt both private and conspiratorial, somehow. Like you shared a secret, though the only secret you had, really, was the one that he absolutely could not have known.
“Of course…” you said primly, like you’d just momentarily forgotten. But your heart warmed a little with his assistance and you couldn’t help the smile that wormed its way across your face in answer. “Thank you.”
Lord Shouto’s eyes seemed to linger on your mouth for a long moment, before he murmured, “Anything I may give you.”
And for a minute, it sounded like he meant more than just help with the spoon. Like he was offering something much larger, much more secret.
But of course that was nonsense. You waved him off, answering in turn. “You are kinder than you know, Lord Shouto. I will remember that too, always.”
You started in on your soup, feeling Lord Shouto’s eyes lingering on you still.
But for the rest of the evening, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d just had a conversation with him whose parameters you did not truly fathom.
That Lord Shouto knew something he couldn’t.
But it wouldn’t matter, with the season so close so its end. You would just have to last a few more weeks.
Tags/Warnings: PWP, confessional sex, prayer misuse, minor slut shaming, major priest kink, I'm not kidding guys I used this as an outlet for my internalized catholic guilt and it shows
No way in hell he is a priest.
He can fool the townspeople, he can fool the local clergy, he can’t fool you.
The way he stares when you stumble into each other at the store’s threshold is not the way a man of the cloth would look at you.
Not that you really believe in all that crap about celibacy and chastity among the clergy, you met some handsy holy men in your life, but they usually look at you with either regretful contempt, or with the longing of someone who doesn’t know what they're missing.
Reverend Drury knows exactly what he’s missing. He makes it clear when his jaw sets, eyes flicking down your cleavage before hiding his smirk into a proper christian smile. You return the smile with a nod, feel his gaze following as he steps aside and lets you out of the shop.
“She’s a harlot, father.” the shop owner mutters the moment you cross the threshold, “Nasty business.”
The reverend hums, his stare still burning at your nape as you disappear into the saloon.
The town doesn’t like you. Since your husband left you there to rot, stomping on your name with ludicrous accusation of unfaithfulness, your life had been a misery. You learned to accept the names, ignore the odd looks, you can’t even remember when exactly all that started to amuse you. Leaning into their accusation and turning them into a reality was easy, and soon you discovered that you liked to break the rules a bit, push the boundaries until you could cross them.
Your newfound freedom made you realize how lucky you were, and how close minded these religious coots could become. Your situation made you long for something new and fresh, something different. That’s why, when Reverend Drury came to town, with the sharp eyes of someone who knew more than he let through, the only thing you could think about was how to cross that specific boundary.
During the following weeks you decide to make your move on the false priest. If he’s in the same room you always give him your full attention, a grin spreading on your lips as your stare makes him restless. You make sure to lift your chin when you meet him in the street, giving him looks that are all but innocent.
When all your effort are for nothing, and he manages to maintain his false facade, you take to go back to church, wearing modest dresses and a submissive smile to boot. The other churchgoers are amazed by your change of heart, most of them very wary of your presence.
One day, after mass, his voice calls your name, stopping you right at the church doors.
“Miss Gaunt thinks the devil sent you to corrupt our worship.” he says.
You hum, let the people stride past you, offering a grin to his smile.
“Your neighbors do not seem very keen on you.” he adds.
“Told you I was a harlot, I imagine.” you say, stepping towards him.
It’s a safe distance, but something tells you he’d really like to close it. He clears his throat, averts his eyes, pretending to look around.
“I’m not a harlot.” you continue, “Just got really unlucky in love.”
He blinks before returning his eyes to you, “No sin there.” he smiles.
“No.” your eyes narrow, hips swaying as you take a step back, “My sins are somewhere else.”
His smile falls, throat bobbing as he swallows. You wiggle your fingers in a sly wave, spinning around to saunter away, feeling his gaze rake along your body.
It’s two days later when he talks to you again, cornering you near the confessionals after mass. He doesn’t seem proud of it, like he’s indulging in something he shouldn’t. He also looks like he can’t help it, jaw working before he can find the right words to say.
“I think you should confess.” he mumbles, eyes flicking to the booth beside you, “The sins you talked about...”
Hands folding in his lap he gives you a pointed look, pretends to be worried for your soul. You smirk, not buying it for a single second. You bet he’d love to hear your sins, all your lurid little thoughts. You can’t help but wonder how much filth he already listened to in the months he’s been there, wonder if it turns him on, if he gets off on all the townsfolk confessions, or if it’s just you in particular that spurs his morbid curiosity.
You let out a giggle, “My sins are between me and the Lord, father.” you place a hand on his arm, look down to his chest before speaking, “Wouldn’t want them to corrupt a pious man such as yourself.”
His jaw sets in frustration, feet digging in the floor, “It is my duty as a servant of the Lord to help you atone your sins.” he insists, something dangerous dripping into his tone.
Your hand slips to his chest, the gesture turning quite some heads in your direction. He stirs when he notices, wiggles away from your touch with a reluctant huff.
“Is that right?” you giggle, “Tell me one thing, father.”
His eyes flicker between you and the crowd, now only a handful of people, as they make their way out of the threshold.
You lean in enough for him to hear your whisper, “Would confessing to a false priest be any good for my soul?”
His head turns to you, eyes huge, the light from the candles dancing in his dark pupils as realization slowly dawns on him. There’s a pause, his bewilderment leaving place to slow simmering rage, eyes shifting to the last five people left inside the church.
“Who told you?” he hisses, loud enough only for you to hear.
“Figured it out myself.” you chirp, grinning at his confession, “I’m just smart like that.”
The last churchgoers cross the threshold, the hinges squeaking as the big bulky door slowly swings closed. The dull sound from the door reverberates in the ceiling, echoing back and forth. Drury’s eyes snap back on you, lightened up by something feral.
You barely have the time to flinch as he grabs the front of your dress, pushing you hard enough to make you lose balance. You stumble inside the confessional, throat tightening as he steps in with you, yanking the thick curtain close. You try to get your bearings, but his fist is tight around your dress, hauling you up by the frilly fabric at your neck.
This up close he looks even taller, the angry sound of his breathing loud in the confined space.
“Ya spoke to anyone ‘bout this?” he drawls, with a twang no highly instructed priest would ever use.
“No.” you squeak.
He huffs in warning, ruffling the hair on your forehead, “Ya better not.”
A grin returns to your face as his mask slips away. You can see him now, the real outlaw behind his polite and subdued appearance. When you tilt your head and bite your lips he lets his eyes trail over your mouth with no restrain, a muted hum rumbles in the back of his throat, like he’s been waiting a long time to indulge so freely in the sight of you.
“Depends what you’re offering.” you whisper.
He gives you a smirk that tugs to the side, “You’re in no position to treat with me, sweetie.” he says, eyes raking along your body, “I could just kill ya right here...”
There’s no real threat in his voice and you lean in, relishing in the way his breath catches when your body presses flush to his. You try to remember how long ago he came to the village, wonder if he’s been abstaining for that long only to maintain the lie...
“That a promise, father?” you coo as his hand trails up, grazing under your jaw, “I want in. Whatever you’re up to.”
He perks up a brow, “Whatever?”
“Yeah.”
You let your palms trail up his torso, listening to the soft hum he makes, his free hand wandering to your waist.
“You’re a wicked one, ain’t ya?” he breathes, leaning in enough to nuzzle your cheek.
You preen at the attention, give a soft chuckle directly in his ear. He sways against you, something hard poking insistently on your upper thigh. As warmth floods you you reach for his white collar, tracing the brim, nails barely whispering on the skin of his neck.
“There’s always a black sheep in the flock, father.”
He grunts, reaches down to palm your ass, “No need to keep up the show, sweetheart. You know full well I ain’t no holy man.”
“I like to pretend.” that stops him, makes him lean away to eye you curiously, “Never fucked a priest before.” you offer.
His grin melts you, the way his touch rise along your jaw and to your mouth makes your lashes flutter. You give a fleeting lick to the tip of his fingers, smirk when he groans loudly, dark eyes locked to your lips.
“Your townsfolk were right.” he hooks a thumb in your lower lip, pry your mouth open, “You are such a whore.”
You moan at how dirty the epithet makes you feel, at how his voice saying it makes it even better, before his tongue dives past your lips.
He grunts, breath hot on your face. Using his weight he wedges you in the corner of the cubicle, hands trailing along your body with no regard for manners. He lifts your leg to his hip, shoves away your prim dress. When your lips part you are dazed, head lulling down where he’s yanking at your undergarment, his breathing frantic.
Reaching for his shoulder you claw at his cassock, giving a pleased purr when he manages to expose your sex.
He growls low in his throat at the sight of your cunt, fingers digging in the meat of your tight to spread you open. You roll your hips invitingly, flash him a smirk that has his jaw drop with hunger.
His eyes never leave your face as his free hand reaches down, frantically tug at his trousers. You lick your lips, heart hammering in your chest as the boothfills with the sound of his beltbuckleclinking to the ground.
You give in the urge to take a peek, gasping softly as he fists his cock. He’s fully hard, the head an angry shade of pink, smooth and glistening with precum. He gives a gruff chuckle at your bewilderment, dives into your neck and inhales sharply, free hand clawing at your ass, tilting your hips just right.
He suddenly sinks into you and you yell, head hitting the wood behind it with a dull thud. The hand that was around his cock reaches for your mouth, muffles your little whines as you adjust to his girth.
He doesn’t bother starting slow, his first thrusts already knocking you on the wall, hipbones slapping against your inner thighs. The friction is heavenly, makes you sway with him, taking more of his lenght with each thrust. He presses a grin to your jaw when you start to mewl under his hand. Shifting the grip beneath your ass he gives himself more purchase to bounce you higher on his cock.
“Oh, God–” you voice slips between his fingers.
His hand clamps down so hard you can feel his thumb digging in your molars. The look he gives you is ferocious, filled with malice, the dangerous angle of his eyebrows makes your legs shake.
“Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain…” he trails off, brows perking up.
You match his intensity, lick his palm with a defiant moan.
His mouth stretches into an open smile, “You better atone, child.” your pussy clamps down at his priestly tone, “You are in the right place, after all.” he groans, voice fraying.
The hand hushing you travels to your front, squeeze the frilly fabric on your breasts, starting to undo the buttons at your neck.
“Come on, pray. Let me hear ya.” he mutters, growing impatient at the impractical fastening.
You lick your lips, breath itching with each thrust. Your mouth opens, tongue running through the first prayer that comes to mind, voice slurring as his rhythm falters and then suddenly stops.
“No.” he grits, getting in your face, teeth barred, “Do it properly.”
You can just nod, give a pathetic little whine when he resumes to shallowly slips in and out of you.
“Hail Mary, full of grace, The Lord is with thee…” you breathe.
You desperately try to keep your shrill voice even and steady as he starts to rut against you. The cubicle spins around you, the space so small heat builds up fast, washing over you in waves, making your hair stick to your forehead. Your are way overdressed for this.
“Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb–ah...Jesus.”
He grunts against your face as soon as the broken sigh leave your lips. His fingers wrap around your front, yank at it until a sharp tear fills your ears. He groans at the sight of your teared up dress, at your plump skin dotted with sweat. You whine, offer him a pleading look he answers with a scolding thrust, making you resume your prayer.
“Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sin–”
His mouth falls to your breast and you moan loudly, reaching up to hold him closer as his hips starts to snap into a frantic rhythm.
“Come on. Good girl. Good fucking girl. You’re almost there.” he groans, nipping at your nipple with enough force to make you yelp.
Your head lulls to the side, the booth filling with the wet noises of your pussy being pounded, of the wood groaning under his hard thrusts. His breathing ragged and fast, hips slowly losing rhythm. The pungent smell of sex lingers in the air, it makes your mind spin, lashes fluttering with abandon. You gather your last strength, feeling that familiar tight coil in your belly as he seizes your hips and starts ramming into you wildly.
You take in a harsh breath, voice broken, “Pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death–.”
He comes like a shot, head tilting back as he groans to the heavens. You shiver around him, the feeling of his hot come filling your insides enough to tip you over the edge. A satisfied smile stretches your lips as you slump completely on the wall behind you, letting him sustain most of your weight.
“Amen.” you breathe in your afterglow.
A giggle escapes you when he sinks into your neck and starts lavishing you with kisses, licking away the salty sweat from your skin. raking your fingers in his hair you give them a gentle tug, bringing his attention back to your face. He grins, dazed and exhausted, the evidence of his arousal still lingering in his eyes, where his pupil are wide and dark.
He catches your mouth into a sloppy kiss, wrapping his arms tightly around you.
“I accept your offer.” he says against your mouth.
You grin, “You don’t even know my conditions.”
He leans back, “And you don’t even know what crime I’m committing.”
“I just know–” you groan when he slips out of you, “...that it will make all these fucking people livid.”
There’s genuine fury in your voice, resentment dripping from your words.
He tilts his head, squinting, “Looks like you’d happily burn this place to the ground.”
“Wouldn’t you?” you huff, running a finger down his chin.
He smiles, kisses your brow with enough tenderness you could almost believe there’s some holiness in him.
romaincrisis
germansingergirl
pixelskylines
ellievsbear
izzy806
kianamaiart
baratheonpilled
